First time growing watermelons and I need some help telling if this guy is ripe
In southern Oklahoma yes if northern nope wait 3 more weeks. Some melons will turn out look like gourd The bottom will yellow went ripe a faint yellow.
I'm actually in central OK. The bottom is yellowing somewhat but not alot
I've never had a good melon that was odd shaped. The shape indicates incomplete pollination. Also it's too small to be really good. The best melons are medium to big size. But it will be ripe when the tendril by the stem turns brown.
From your description and the photo, I'd say it has a ways to go..
Bottle nosed melons, like yours, will still ripen, and can be quite good.