Marie Pavie Speaks
Why haven't you been coming to see me? . . .No, you haven't, that was weeks ago, June 14th, to be precise. All I do is bloom constantly for you and smell nice. I guess that's not good enough. Do you think I'm plain?. . .Yes, you do, I know it. You've been spending time with that rose from Argentina, haven't you?. . .Don't lie to me.
No, I'm not particularly comfortable. My feet have been wet for three weeks, and you know how I hate that. I can't get enough iron, just look at me, it's the rain and the pH. . .I don't care if 6.8 is just fine for the other roses, it's not just fine for me. Why don't you just give me some iron and sulfur each spring so we don't have to go through this every single year? . . . You forget? Yes, exactly.
Ouch, that's too much fertilizer. You know how sensitive I am. I already had chartreuse and pink leaves, and now my new growth will be getting brown edges. I don't like that fungicide, either. I think it stunts my shoots.
If you can't take proper care of me, just leave me alone. I'd be better off, I'm sure. You ignore me for weeks and then start pestering me with this and that, making things worse.
. . .Keep blooming? Well, of course, it's what I do. Frankly, I can't help it, so don't think it's all about you. I've been thinking, maybe I should try to meet someone new. If I can ever get my foliage in presentable shape.
Now there you go, sniffing around and going "Mmmm." It's not going to work this time, Buster. It's. . . .