OT What has been going on

Ament(5a SD)October 28, 2011

And now, for as to why I would prefer to be in anothers shoes...

I just found out 3 days ago My mother has cancer, in a lung. So far I know it's a 3mm lump, they do not know anything further currently. However, she just in the last year had a stroke as well. So isn't in the best of health to begin with. She had a stroke, then my Grams had a stroke. Grams didn't survive it. She did. Now this? It just makes me want to scream. I'm stuck half way across the country.

Until we know enough of what is going on, I won't make the trip out there to see her. She has enough family hanging around her to choke up the room and her life without me in the way as well. LoL So I won't do that to her too. :)


You'll never ever know just how heart warming it truly was, to open the box I got yesterday. Even though I was so emotionally drained.

I will keep you, my friends here posted. Currently there isn't much to know. Well, I have lost weight already. In the few days this has gone on. I cannot even begin to imagine what I'll be like if this rolls on for months. I fear I'll be going to the Dr's for xanax. LOL Anxiety and I do not do well together. =)


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chena(z8 Texas)

Tina I am so sorry to hear you are having to deal with so much... You are in my Thoughts and Prayers as are You Mom and entire Family...Hopefully they caught it early.. A big thumps up on the Zannies.. GO. I lost 5 family members and 2 dogs in 1 1/2 yrs..They can at least give you a chance to Breathe!!

(((HUGS))) Kylie

    Bookmark   October 28, 2011 at 1:12PM
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I am so sorry for all the things, you're going through
I sure hope it's treatable at this point, you & your family will be in my prayers


    Bookmark   October 28, 2011 at 5:36PM
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I'm so sorry about your Mom and Grandma. It's hard to take hearing that diagnosis. My mom just finished up her 3rd round of chemo. Try to keep a positive outlook. I know that's easier said then done but you are of no help to anyone, including yourself, if you work yourself up. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Bookmark   October 28, 2011 at 6:18PM
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marquest(z5 PA)

Tina, I am sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers. I lost 2 dress sizes caring for my Mom so I know how the weight can come off when you are under stress. I took vitamins to keep my energy up I do not know if that will help you maybe you can talk to your doctor and see if he can suggest a good supplement.

    Bookmark   October 28, 2011 at 10:41PM
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Tina, so sorry to hear about your mom. I pray she will recover quickly. As for you, I pray you will be more positive in your thinking and actions. I strongly believe that no good comes out of worry about things that are out of your control. God bless.

    Bookmark   October 29, 2011 at 10:30AM
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Ament(5a SD)

Thank you guys so much, trying to keep an upbeat outlook on it all. =) I've been talking with my brother & sister every day, calling my mother every other day, to chat with her when she's not medicated and groggy.

It's wonderful having siblings who do so much to keep me up to date and in touch with everything. LoL I've always been such a worry wart, it's nothing I can change. I'll make it through to the other side, a bit thinner, but I could stand to lose a few anyway. ;)

I truly appreciate all the love and support my friends. It helps so much. Thank you for all the prayers. =)


    Bookmark   October 29, 2011 at 1:34PM
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Tina, you are in my thoughts and prayers, you have some good advice here, do try to keep a positive attitude and
pray for the very best.
I am so sorry to hear about your Gram.

Big Hugs,

    Bookmark   October 29, 2011 at 5:04PM
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Ament(5a SD)

They will be going in this week some time to do a surgical biopsy. Not sure when I will learn the results.

Thank you all for your support! I'm doing much better emotionally, that's for sure. No where near as stressed as I was. =)


    Bookmark   October 31, 2011 at 1:58PM
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Ament(5a SD)

Just an update for you, my friends.

My brother called to let me know it is malignant. Not sure just how bad yet. We do know its small celled. We know so far it's located in her neck and chest wall, as for how much further the cancer has gone we don't know. They are going to do scans to find out. And they will do other testing to find out what stage cancer she is at and what type exactly that DM has got.

I'm willing to bet it's a type I cannot pronounce much less spell! =) Anyway, once this information has been discovered, they will decide what treatment will be required. Then we'll figure out where mom will stay for her treatment. Most likely she will come out to South Dakota to reside with me during her treatment. You see, Mom and I have grown extremely close and she knows regardless that she has a room here.

When I learn more, I'll post another update.

Bright Blessings All!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2011 at 12:16PM
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It's actually called "small cell carcinoma" and is probably one of the most common lung cancers. My Dad had this type of cancer. He had surgery followed by chemo and radiation and I'm happy to say he went into long term remission. No sign of recurrance after 5 years. He has since passed away but that had nothing to do with the lung cancer. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope your Mom does well.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2011 at 7:05AM
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Tina- I am so glad my brugs lifted your day! I will continue to pray for you mom and you and your whole family. Have a peaceful day-

    Bookmark   November 3, 2011 at 7:47AM
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Ament(5a SD)

Oy! What a last few days it's been LoL

Ok, another update guys, I'm off to California tomorrow. =)

I will be gone for two weeks, I'm bringing my mother home with me for treatment. =D She wants to live here with me while she goes through treatment. She said her two week visit here with us was so happy that she needs to be HERE instead of at her own home so she can deal with this.

I cannot express just how happy hearing that made me. So, I will make the journey to bring my mom home. Then we will make this journey together. Where ever it takes us. I know it will be a long road ahead, a tough one, but we will make this trip together. =) And that means so much to me, having her here with me.

So now I'll be so busy it'll be hectic as all get out, but I will make the effort to return here, as often as I can. I know I will require -me- time. So I will devote time to my hobbies as well as my mom. It'll just be less time here on the message boards. =) But I'll pop in whenever I can.

Karyn, thank you for clarifying that. Her oncologyst appeared to be in such a rush to speak it and get off the phone. I intend to speak with the woman further when I get out there. So I've got to write out a list of questions. What care she requires, what should we do, you know... My brain as gone into lock down and I actually do not know what questions I should ask. I know there should be tons of questions I ask this woman, but I truly don't know -what- I should be asking! lol

Kasha, Thank you I'll be trying to avoid the news, avoid things that induce stress. I know I'll need to turn on music that encourages me to relax. =) It's just crazy! lol I've been coddling the brugs, my hoyas and any of the other indoor plants I have. Just to encourage my mind to relax a bit.

Thank you all so much! I'll keep you informed so as not to just leave you hanging at this point. =)


    Bookmark   November 4, 2011 at 4:03PM
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maile_2010(4 Central MN)

Have a safe trip.
KEEP THE FAITH. Prayers are with you and yours.

    Bookmark   November 4, 2011 at 10:04PM
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Ament(5a SD)

Ok, I am back from California.

Not a good trip at all.

Sad news, Small cell cancer. My mother did not survive. She passed on November 17th. At 1:05 AM. It has been a rough road for me. I know I still need to send funds to one person who sent me brugs prior to this catastrophe happening. Please post and remind me who it is that I still owe money to. It's been quite a wild up and down emotional ride for me. I did not intend to blow off the person I still owe money to! I WILL repay you, I promise! =) Just let me know who it is. I feel horrible about that.

You see, prior to leaving, the plan was to bring my mother home, So my daughter and husband brought my mother in law in and the 3 of them tore up the home. To install wood flooring so my mother who was wheel chair bound would be able to move around the house. Well, in doing so, the name of the person I owe funds to, got lost! LoL

Dec. 9th or somewhere around there, my mothers ashes arrive, so that when my sister arrives, she and I can go into the Black Hills and spread my mothers ashes. My mothers last wishes were to have this done. Any idea how hard it is to sit there and tell your mother good bye, to tell her it is Okay, that she can die and we will be Okay? Good gods, even typing this out to share with you, my friends, is painful. However, it is also cathartic to do so. And so, I do it. Knowing I need to do it. Otherwise, it will eat at me.

I'm a creature of the written word, I detest misspelled words, abused written language. I always correct my daughter and husband. It can be a burden sometimes. Yet even here, in my pain, I know I need to share the burden, with strangers and those of you I've gotten to know fairly well, those of you who share my absolute love of gardening. So now I ask you to share my pain, my burden of loss. Knowing it will help me, just a little bit. To overcome that hurt, that absolute total complete loss of the one person that meant the whole world to me... My Mother.

~With a Major hole in my heart and soul,
Tina Marie

    Bookmark   November 29, 2011 at 3:21PM
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GOD be with you and your family, Tina.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2011 at 4:43PM
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I understand your pain and your grief. Grieving takes time and you'll go through the different phases of it, all normal and different for each person. Keep in touch with others, with friends, family and loved ones. Talk about the good times that you had with your Mom, and cry when you need to. It's good to share with others so we can pray that God's comfort and peace will surround you. Make sure you take care of yourself in the process. After some time, your pain will ebb away and you will be left with the wonderful memories and all of the beautiful characteristics that made up your Mom. I'm still amazed at the qualities My Mom had. I will remember you in my prayers, Tina.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2011 at 9:03PM
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mnwsgal 4 MN(4)

I am sorry, Tina, that you lost your mother so quickly and will not be able to have the longer time together that you had expected in your home to share memories and say your goodbyes.

I know you will find a lovely place in the Hills to spread her ashes.

Prayers and hugs for you and your family.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2011 at 11:02PM
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