pete_in_in(z5)May 31, 2005

Barb5, wrote in another thread, "I'll warn you- it is really ugly, but then so is skin cancer."

Fortunately I don't have skin cancer. However, there are some farmers with the scars of skin cancer who may be self conscious about it. It seems to me, Barb, you could be more tactful about making your comments. Whatever happened to thoughtful, caring and compassionate?


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GrassIsEvil(z6 TN)

Wow, Pete. I interpreted that so differently--that it was cancer that was ugly, not the person. Just as it was the hat that was ugly, not the person.

We're fortunate to have you posting on these boards.


    Bookmark   June 1, 2005 at 12:12AM
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Jeanne_in_Idaho(z5 N.Idaho)

Pete, do you post on here because you enjoy making people angry? I can think of no other reason for all of your posts that I've seen.

I think even skin cancer patients would agree that the cancer is ugly, as Barb said. She DIDN'T say people with skin cancer are ugly, as you'd have noticed if you weren't so preoccupied with stirring up trouble.


    Bookmark   June 2, 2005 at 1:27PM
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As Joan Rivers used to say, "Can we talk? I don't think Barb meant any harm in her comment. It was maybe a poor choice of words.

I am a skin cancer survivor. I had cancer on one of my lower eyelids. It had actually spread from my lower eyelid down to the top of my cheekbone. Fortunately, it hadn't spread to my brain which was the doctor's main concern. I had the MOH's procedure at the University of Michigan Hospital Oncology Unit, and, have had four reconstructive surgeries so far. One is always self conscious about how it looks; and, I am mostly tired of the questions. Ugly is a pretty strong term. I never thought the cancer was ugly. Cancer is a life altering experience; but, certainly not ugly.

So, can we now go back to discussing cutflowers?

    Bookmark   June 2, 2005 at 2:46PM
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Wow. It looks like some people get to eat a big piece of humble pie. Funny though how Bleeding Hearts think they can always say whatever they want. And, when they get called on it, they have a playground type hissy fit. It reminds me of Nellie Olson in the 'Little House on the Prairie' series.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2005 at 5:41AM
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GrassIsEvil(z6 TN)

Wow. "It reminds me of Nellie Olson in the 'Little House on the Prairie' series." Incredible analysis there, IE. BTW, you do know that was just a television show, don't you?

Yes, flowerfarmer, cancer is a life-altering disease. It certainly altered the lives of my children. So I'll always think of the disease as implacable and ugly and deadly. But this isn't the place to discuss that, I realize.

We've occasionally discussed what to do with extra flowers. Taking them to the patients in a hospital is always one way, but I discovered that the young children of the patients were ecstatic to be able to give their parents flowers, especially in the families where medical bills were straining finances to the limit and flowers become a luxury they just can't afford. (You can work it out with the nurses or auxiliary so the children can "buy" the flowers--quarter arrangements of roses are happy things and it's amazing the number of peonies that can be fitted into a dollar bouquet.)


    Bookmark   June 4, 2005 at 1:37PM
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Sometimes the best words are those that are left unsaid....................

    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 7:10PM
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susiq(NW AR 6B)

Well, I'm the slow one in our little "bunch" of "flowers"---
OR, Irish Eyes was deliberately too vague. I know that's a chi-chi way of intellectual communication, but it went right over my head! Guess that means I'm not an intellectual communicator! LOL! And DEFINITELY NOT "chi-chi".

I didn't understand a word Irish Eyes said. Are the Bleeding Hearts those of us upset at Pete, or is HE the bleeding heart? Are you mad at those who spoke up against Pete or at Pete?

All this over a (deliberately?) misunderstood phrase on a whole other thread????!!!. Don't we all AND Pete have more than enough to do than play "holier than thou" over simple phrases? She asks as she is also drawn into the fray.

I'm sure the ONLY UGLY people involved with or diagnosed with Cancer are either those originally BORN ugly and they can't do anything about it, or the dimwits that inhabit that loosely formed community alternately called Poor White Trash and/or Trailer Trash. And, so as not to be accused of discriminating against other ethnicities, I will include Poor African-American, Poor Asian-American, Poor Eastern/Western-European-American, Poor Middle-Easterner-American, Poor Irish-English-Scottish-Welsh-American, Poor Native-American, and Poor ANY OTHER ETHNICITY, under the Generic Umbrella of "TRASH", ANY person who acts like scum towards ugly people with cancer.

So there!


    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 8:09PM
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Too much sun Susi? You may have to translate because I don't have a clue what you just said. I'm beginning to find this REAL offensive..........

    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 8:28PM
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Poochella(7 WA)

OMG- I held my tongue as long as I could. And I did pretty well!

I had a huge long post and decided it would be better not to hit SUBMIT or I'd miss most of you too much after I got sent to Disneyland. But believe me, I feel much better having typed it and savored every syllable, every nuance, every pointed point. Oooh it was really, really good!

But, silence is golden.

Everyone knows Barb H meant no harm. Her point was coming from a compassionate stance. Not all posts can make that claim.
Peace and love,

    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 8:56PM
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Yes it was a purely innocent statement. And she was commenting on the ability of an ugly, expensive hat, to possibily saving someone from a long, hard haul. That is the only way I will ever interpret that post. It was obvious to me and to most everyone else. OH...and you guys are great by the way. I love the way you share your information. I know first hand how hard and grueling and body numbing working the soil is..I also know..there is nothing I would rather do. And for you to come here when you get a moment and to generously give of your first hand knowledge makes me smile almost as big as when I see the first blossom on something I sowed. With every bloom comes...another smile.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 10:45PM
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susiq(NW AR 6B)


I was trying to be very tongue in cheek in my response. I was trying to point out that the only "ugliness" associated w/ cancer is the assumption by Pete, that Barb, in her effort to tell us about a good hat, was maligning those WITH cancer or with the scars of cancer.

Since I was using the phrase "poor white trash" as the derogatory term I was raised with to describe the lesser peons of this world, I decided that in this day of easily hurt feelings I shouldn't JUST include "white people", but those of as many ethnicities as I could name. Ergo, the longwindedness at the end.

Those who battle with cancer are beautiful, even if the disease leaves them weak, frail, disfugered, scarred. Those who encourage a simple hat to help protect against cancer are beautiful. Those who accidentally (????) misinterpret such advice as a harsh criticism should MAYBE? be given the benefit of the doubt, but if they on-purpose misinterpret the hat advice and start this thread as an attack, are NOT beautiful, and belong to the lesser peons of the world.

Am I clear as mud yet?

Welcome dellare--you and poochella have great comments.


    Bookmark   June 5, 2005 at 11:40PM
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What is the worst type of cancer? Those people who spread contention and anger in society. This one seems to be spreading on about every thread.

After seeing my brother die from luekimea and my dad go through prostate cancer. I can definetly say the worst are those in society that need to be removed before they spread.

I am really surprised anyone even listens to the ugly growing cancer among us.

I had hoped the webmaster would have surgerically removed it before now.

    Bookmark   June 7, 2005 at 12:44PM
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OK Pete --- time to put your money where your mouth is! The 2nd annual "Simply Country .... bloomin' fun to fight cancer" is Sunday June 26th. Sponsored by my flower farm, all flower purchases -- all the food vendors --- the raffle prizes --- the petting zoo and pony rides -- EVERYTHING goes to the American Cancer Society. There are no expenses taken out --we donate everything personally. Last year we donated 983.00 to the ACS --- this year, it will be over $1500.

I will GLADLY accept your generous check and donate it in the name of Deb Sandry -- a 40 year-old-friend that died of melanoma 3 years ago -- leaving a young son and daughter behind.

So everyone--- let's talk compassion and dollars. Let's not talk about how "ugly" cancer is ---- let's talk about a cure.

You can email me and I will send the address to you. Make all checks out directly to the American Cancer Society. If you would like to help and are near Davenport IA --- I will take all the help I can get!

Thank you so much for your generous spirit.

    Bookmark   June 7, 2005 at 3:29PM
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