Indifferent, encouraging, or hindering?

jan_on zone 5bDecember 15, 2012

Ken's rules for visitors suggested I leave my hubbie doing Sudokus in the car - got me wondering - he is quite supportive of my madness, never suggests I paid too much for a hosta or bought too many, and is happy to dig holes if I point, but has little or no interest in gardening, never goes for a walkabout in the yard (unless following the lawnmower) and couldn't ID any varieties. It's nice to be able to do my own thing without consultation, but it would also be lovely to share the fun.

How do your partners react to the state of your gardens?

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My hubby isn't interested in flowers but he has an interest in hostas. He's still more than willing to help me make beds, dig holes, till the garden, etc. He's more into the vegie gardening too. Maybe that will keep him busy and not interfering with my flowers. He always tries to take over! I'm just glad he's there to help with the heavy chores when I need him! Marg

    Bookmark   December 15, 2012 at 2:37PM
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I'd describe my wife's attitude toward my gardening hobby as reluctant indifference. She'd probably prefer I didn't do it at all, but puts up with it because she figures I could have worse hobbies. :)


    Bookmark   December 15, 2012 at 2:56PM
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Like Marric (Marg), my husband has an interest in gardening, and he is familiar with the "green and white one" because he has separated his original purchases for the last 30 years. While I was oblivious to the presence of hosta anywhere...until I saw his a few years back, and then mail ordered some for his Massachusetts garden. That purchase included the lovely plantaginea, which we both fell in love with. Both of us love gardening, and never had an obsession before. It did not strike him, it took me by storm....yet he is pleased with the result of the additions to our garden. He is primarily a veggie gardener, and experienced growing from seed. I plan to enlist his help with my new venture in growing HOSTA from seed! He knows what he is doing. I figure we'll wind up having an equal attachment to hosta gardening.

    Bookmark   December 15, 2012 at 4:27PM
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hosta_freak(z6 NC)

My wife doesn't care about my hosta addiction,but she has picked out some of my better hostas. She just tolerates me planting hostas. That's OK with me,as I still enjoy them alone. Phil

    Bookmark   December 15, 2012 at 7:58PM
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cyn427(z7aN. VA)

Pretty much like yours, Jan. He is very proud of the fact that he now recognizes hosta. ;). I still have to warn him to watch though when they are just starting to emerge in they spring.

    Bookmark   December 16, 2012 at 7:42PM
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I'm lucky. My husband like to garden and really enjoys the garden tours with me as well. He bought me my camera for taking hosta pictures last year for Christmas. He is an enabler. He has built two patios, a flagstone path, and several raised beds for me.


    Bookmark   December 16, 2012 at 8:59PM
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tsugajunkie z5 SE WI

Though my wife will suggest a plant or two now and then, she pretty much leaves it to me, although she does appreciate the final product. That is fine by me as I enjoy the "free range".


    Bookmark   December 17, 2012 at 7:16PM
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My husband plays with the big toys (John Deere riding mower) and builds things like privacy screens and the lot. He's not into gardening but loves the finished product (HA! As IF a garden is ever finished!!) and he's always so proud to show off "my" garden to anyone who comes by.

He is slowly learning by osmosis I think - he absolutely floored me one day pointing to a tall, flowering perennial and uttered "yeah, that's a Cimicifuga Racemosa..." He was right!

He doesn't know any of the hostas by name. Yet. He indulges me in my passion: he's my muscle when I go to the nurseries and garden centres and piles those hostas onto the cart - AND - he bought me the Hostapedia for Christmas, didn't he?! I asked what he wanted. He said, "Find me a book with the title "LEARNING TO LIVE WITH A HOSTANISTA."

    Bookmark   December 17, 2012 at 10:46PM
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I'm at the 'other' end of this discussion. My wife is the gardener.

I started out indifferent as far as my involvement, but encouraging her interest, certainly not hindering.

Now I'm playing catch-up.

Interesting topic thread!


    Bookmark   December 18, 2012 at 12:28AM
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I packed it up a week or so ago, but there is one book you might want to write a final chapter to:
THE BOTANY OF DESIRE. It is all about how plants finagle to make us desire them so much we go nuts for them. They do not have a chapter for HOSTANISTA, but well they should!

We all know the hosta species make us do it, or help spread them far and wide, develop them to be exquisite beauties, leave our budgets a shambles but our gardens burgeoning like dense leafy jungles.

Think about writing a chapter or "part two."

BTW, is it time to order the 2013 Hosta Finder?

    Bookmark   December 18, 2012 at 1:08AM
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My husband, Gary, is type to tease me by calling my gardens and plantings "brush" but I know he's pleased with the way things look and that I enjoy gardening.

There's no doubt that he's always there for me if I need extra muscle or help with garden related construction. Otherwise he leaves me alone, knowing full well that I take on the responsibility of fertilizing, watering, weeding, laying down edging and generally "communing" with the great outdoors.

Gary mows the yard, rotary mows the ditches and fringe areas, keeping the over all property neat and tidy. He sprays weeds, being ever so aware of wind drift toward my flowers and plants.

My DH is content to have no opinion on what plants I choose. Bless his heart, he'll listen to my garden talk as long as the conversation isn't too long or in depth. He's interested only to the point that he knows it's something I love and the plants and flowers "decorate" our home's exterior.

Gary trusts my discretion in the financial end of it too. He wouldn't say much if I purchased jewelry or clothes but is pleased, that instead, I spend money toward plants and flowers.

He'll patiently tolerate my loitering for a bit in the garden shop. When I need time to study every plant and tag, he can be found in the automotive area or, more often, he just stays home. :-)

Touring a private or public garden with my husband "ain't gonna" happen. That is quality time better spent with my grown daughter, a burgeoning hosta lover and gardener.


    Bookmark   December 18, 2012 at 2:08PM
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bernd ny zone5

My wife likes that I keep up the property and garden. My son is not interested in anything around the house. My 9 year old grandson though took over my vegetable garden and owns a large H.'Empress Wu' plus two other hostas there. Now there is a bright future.

Several years ago I gave several hostas to my previous neighbor across the street, but the new one got rid of those, and has a beautiful 3 ft deep pond though, his expertise. I have not found any interest for hostas in my direct neighbors, but one I gave a tour of my garden.

Just recently I mentioned to one neighbor that when ever I move out of my house in the future, the new owner would probably rip out all my dwarf conifers and hostas and put lawn there, he agreed. We at this and the Conifer forums are a real minority I believe.

This post was edited by berndnyz5 on Tue, Dec 18, 12 at 17:36

    Bookmark   December 18, 2012 at 5:32PM
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Let's say: Grudgingly Encouraging.......... Like Bernd, my wife likes the way our yards look with the regular upkeep; she often helps me with weed-pulling and watering. She really doesn't get my obsession with hostas, thinks I suddenly went kinda koo-koo this spring, but she appreciates the beauty of hostas, and even helped me pick out a couple for my initial 2013 shipment (Piecrust Promise and Valley's Glacier; nice picks I-must-say) Hopefully she'll stay cool with hostas, because we still have a north-facing sideyard with room for at least 30 more...went from 4 plants this spring and summer to 90 hosta and holding; she called it 'excessive'....I called it 'a good start'.....I have 15 more coming in early May from Jim's Hostas, and THAT'S a good start for 2013!

Hang in there, everyone,
Don B.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2012 at 1:55PM
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