silversword(9A)May 26, 2009

Has anyone seen this? I can't imagine what this little girl must be going through.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Your link is a pretty poor image. I can't imagine how she feels about such a .jpeg either.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 3:00PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

jeez. Sorry about that. Try this one.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 3:07PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

What were they thinking? How frightening that must be for a sixth grader. And for the parents that blew it off, they are in for some rough years.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 3:36PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I saw that on the Natl. news last night.

My, haven't we advanced as a civilization of human beings.

I think that with how kids today live and experience the world in which they exist, one can't simply automatically assume the parent has not done a reasonable job of raising a child with a decent core of values. The parent has only so much influence upon their children in todays world.

To me, this would be an interesting topic for discussion:

If one of these kids participating was your own, how do you suppose you would handle the situation?

I am extremely grateful this is not an issue I will ever have to face.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 3:38PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
oceanna(7 WWA)

If one of these kids participating was your own, how do you suppose you would handle the situation?

Wouldn't happen. I started teaching the Golden Rule to my kids before they got to kindergarten. They were taught to apologize and also make it up to anyone they wronged. They had to tell me how the other person might feel about what happened. So mine were the kids facing off the whole class if necessary, standing up for the kid that was being picked on, refusing to join in the senior TP parties, and so on.

Parents need to instill the basics of good integrity into kids early and strongly -- do unto others, don't steal, and so on -- and by early, I mean it should be well underway when they're still in didies. Then they need to watch them all the time to keep them on course. By the time the kids reach 6th grade, they should have had thousands of lessons in how to treat others with compassion and respect, and thousands of "attagirls/boys" from their parents for making good decisions. Make a big deal about it when your kid does good.

There is hope for the girls who were made to call up and apologize. The other girls, the ones whose parents didn't care, are being cheated by their parents. So is society.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 4:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
trinigemini(10 Jupiter)

If it was one of my kids that did this....they would no longer have a cell phone...thats if I let them have one in the first place...I still don't see why teenagers need cell phones. They would no longer be allowed on the internet, and I would install some of that cyber monitoring software....I probably would have the software installed before any of that stuff happened anyway. They would also have to apologize to the girl and her parents. And I would probably stop them from hanging out with the other girls who participated in such an appalling act. Fortunately DH and I have no intention of having kids...we are quite content with our dogs :-) My parents were very strict with me....and I hated them for it when I was growing though I am so glad that they instilled common sense and proper manners in me at a young age. I read some of the comments on the linked page and was horrified that some people basically said kids will be kids whats the big deal.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 5:20PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
hamiltongardener(CAN 6a)

Stories like these make me proud of my young man. There is a kid in his school who is always dressed in unfashionable and inappropriate clothing, mostly because he wears jeans and sweaters handed down from his older sister. Add on top of it, he struggles with the English language (Serbian immigrant) and is a bit of a loner.

After a particularly nasty episode of namecalling and teasing he endured one day (he was followed home by a group of kids), my son and his friend went over to the kid's house and invited him out to "hang" with them. Now, he sometimes accompanies them to go to the mall or hang out at the creek.

Hopefully, that kind of thing will be something that kid can use to make his teenage life less of a hell, somehow he won't feel alone.

I just hope kids like the little girl in that story have somebody on their side, somebody they can hang out with or talk to.

Almost every kid gets picked on, but it's the kids who are both picked on and alone who have it the worst.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 5:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Wouldn't happen.

While I love my two DD's (12 and 14) to death and beleive they are being raised to respect the feelings of others, I would never say it wouldn't happen. To me that would be letting my guard down. Just becuase they bring home great grades and appear to be hanging around the good crowd, I know that they can still do dumb stuff. I never let my guard down and judge my children by the friends they keep. I also judge the friends they keep by the parents. I read their e-mails from time to time and I have access to all their online accounts. They know that if find something amiss they run the risk of having all their technology cut off. To a kid today that is the harshest punishment you can give them.

I also know that you can be the best parent in the world and your child can still go bad. My neighbors kid was the nicest young man you could ever meet. He died last year at 18 of a drug overdose. A straight "A", college bound student that apparently never bothered to understand the chemistry of mixing uppers and downers. I made sure my DD's witnessed his body being removed from the home. If that doesn't hit home what drugs can do, nothing will for them.

The one thing you have to realize here is that these are still children that made this video and they are a long, long way from understand the severity of killing someone or making a video displaying such. I hope they are punished reasonably, but more importantly that someone explains to them the implications and cruelty of making a video like that. I would ask them how they would have felt if that girl had committed suicide and do they realize that they most likely would have carried the burden of knowing that all their lives. The one thing I want my children to know if nothing else, is that there will come times in your life that you are faced with a choice that will change the path of your life forever. Always ask yourself if the choice you have before you is one of them.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 5:49PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
oceanna(7 WWA)

KS, mine are all raised so I can deffinitely tell you it wouldn't happen. They weren't perfect, but that stuff ran core deep with them, much like Hamilton just described with her DS. Nice job, Hamilton!

You seem to be a good caring dad too, KS. Like you describe, staying on your toes is an all-the-time thing. You snooze, everyone loses. In 30-40 years you get to rest some. haha!

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 7:38PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My kids didn't have cell phones, and we monitored their internet usage pretty closely... mainly to protect them, but also to know what they were doing.

They weren't the type to choose friends based on popularity, wealth, or outer looks... their friends were always decent kids. I'm proud of the choices they made.

Yes, it's definitely nice to be a grandparent... we get to rest a little bit now!

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 8:10PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

When my kids were young they made an even younger neighbor boy eat cat food. When the little boy realized what they had done he ran home crying. I made my kids go to his home and tell his father what they had done. He blew up. Told my kids they were no longer welcomed on his property and could not play with his son. It was very uncomfortable for my kids but they learned a valuable lesson. I always insisted that my kids apologize to teachers, students and any one else that they offended.

Months later this little boy began to show up at our house. I told him that I could not allow my son to play with him until I had spoken to his dad so I called him. He told me that he had probably over reacted but that he had so much respect for my kids coming to him and facing him and apologizing that he now felt that my son was welcome in his home anytime.

I drilled it into my children's head early on that you don't make fun of people or treat them badly in anyway.

It has paid off. They are kind and respectful kids. (most of the time.) My son is very respectful to girls, their families and so on. Neither one allows others to treat them with disrespect either.

Later on, when this young boy had found his father dead in the house (7:30 am) out of everyone in the neighborhood the little boy came to our house and got us out of bed. He felt he could rely on us.

Yes you can do your best and still have a child that goes astray. You just have to make sure that you do your best and when they do mess up make sure they do the right thing and that you do also.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 9:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
blueheron(z6 PA)

I am impressed with your son, Hamilton. You did a wonderful job with him. Kudos to the rest of you, also, for instilling morals in your children.

I am also proud of my disabled DD who is a wonderful, caring adult. Never complains and has made the most of her abilities.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2009 at 9:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I always trusted my kids, they have cell phones since they were 10, and full internet access. They came across pretty weird stuff a few times (on their chat site), yet reported it back to me. We emailed the site owners, one profile we forwarded to dear cousin of mine who is a cop - turned out this one was a serious case.

Little Maddie was bullied once, joining a new school. For 2 days - then her sister showed up. Boy! did she sort them out....

    Bookmark   May 27, 2009 at 4:38AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
paulines(New England)

LOL Maddie!

I have to agree with mrskjun. The parents that blew this off are in for a rude awakening. One can only hope that they have chosen to address it behind closed doors.

    Bookmark   May 27, 2009 at 7:04AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Kids can be cruel... this, we know... some of it is part of growing up, part of learning... but I think if you instill anything in a child, it's that treating people how you want to be treated makes life a lot better.

We've never been a religious family, but one of the things we taught our kids was that "what goes around comes around"... and how you treat others will definitely come back to you at some point.

I remember when my eldest son was about 10, or so... there were a couple of other boys he considered his good friends... one of them was more popular, and my son blew off the lesser popular boy to hang out with the popular one... we told him that we thought he was making a mistake, and we told him to think hard about which friend he thought would be there when the chips were down. We left the choice to him.

Well... he got into a scuffle with a few older boys at school, and only one of those friends backed him up. The popular one fled. This taught him a good lesson in choosing his friends. The two are still best friends.

There's a lesson in there somewhere! I'm not sure I explained it well, though... but in any case, my son learned that it's who people are, and not what they have or how they appear, that's important.

    Bookmark   May 27, 2009 at 9:46AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
hamiltongardener(CAN 6a)

I always trusted my kids, they have cell phones since they were 10, and full internet access. They came across pretty weird stuff a few times (on their chat site), yet reported it back to me.

Mine got a cell phone at 13, but honestly it was for my own peace of mind. I can call him up at anytime to see where he is and what he's doing, especially those times when they are playing down by the creek.

I call it my electronic leash!

    Bookmark   May 27, 2009 at 10:40PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Yes, hamilton. My kids thought they were just cool. I called their cell phones my insurance.

"I want to go to the (high school) football game."

ring, ring

"Hello?" (Quiet background alert)
"Where are you?"
"At the football game."
"I'm driving right over. Meet me by the..."
"Well, I'm actually at so and so's house."
"I'm still coming. I didn't give you permission to go to so and so's house. I'm jumping in the car now. We need to have a talk." (Read: You are going to get a little talk on the way home.)

Love cell phones for teens! Electronic leashes indeed. Teens sleep a lot. Came in real handy for reading text messages on teen's charging cell phone. Loved the 'history' menu on the computer too.

My teens survived me and grew into pretty decent adults. I happily paid those cell phone bills. They weren't perfect teens but they admit they got away with very few tricks.

    Bookmark   May 27, 2009 at 11:06PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My kids thought they were pretty smart... they'd clear the history and dump the cache on their computers, trying to keep certain things from being found out... but Dad is a tech geek, and he installed a keystroke logger on every machine in the house, unbeknown to them. We knew exactly who they were chatting with, what they said, what they were viewing, etc...

We couldn't afford to allow the kids to have cell phones... when the kids were teens, WE didn't even have cell phones! We only had the land line.

At some point, their mother got them cell phones, which we allowed... but they'd frequently get turned off because she wouldn't pay the bill, or she'd get mad at one of them and take the phone away or have it shut off. They had dead phones more than operational ones.

Since we lived out in the boonies, they usually didn't go too far... everyone knows everyone else in small towns.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2009 at 8:27AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Signature salute to Leonard Nimoy
Dead at 83; cause given as end stage COPD. Though not...
And now Gov. Walker - is it "pile on the President" week?
Gov. Scott Walker: ‘I don't know’ whether Obama...
Servants of God Arrested 2015
It's early still in the year but time to post some...
The President has vetoed the Keystone XL Pipeline Bill
Obama vetoes Keystone XL bill "Because this act...
Just went to the grocery store
and as we left a woman followed us out by less than...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™