What should Weiner's wife do? What

tobr24u(z6 RI)June 9, 2011

would you do? Tiger's wife split, Maria has split, and if I was a woman and found myself in one of these situations I would be long gone, long gone...

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youngquinn_gw

Me too ! (congratulations...you made it)

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 7:06AM
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marshallz10(z9-10 CA)

None of my business

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 7:08AM
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adoptedbyhounds

What would I do? End the relationship immediately. The man is a CREEP.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 7:23AM
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PRO
Brushworks Spectacular Finishes(5)

Respect her private life is the best virtue.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 7:45AM
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mrskjun(9)

She should do what is in her best interest. Hillary stayed with Bill. I wondered why at the time, but she did what was in her best interest.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:01AM
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jodik_gw

Whatever she wants. It's her marriage, her life, and her choice to make. Some people can forgive and forget, and some marriages can be repaired following certain infidelities...

A lot depends on what really happened, and not the media's interpretation... and on what sort of marriage they have. Trust and communication are important factors.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:19AM
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newjerseybt(5b NE PA)

Since she now has a bun in the oven she has a moral obligation to try to make the marriage work.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:29AM
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labrea_gw

none of my business

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:34AM
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youngquinn_gw

the way I read it was "what would YOU do if you found yourself in that situation"?

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:38AM
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marshallz10(z9-10 CA)

How do you arrive at that reading? You must mean you want to reword the OP in support of your response if you were in the same situation.

What you decide is none of my business either. ;)

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:48AM
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marshallz10(z9-10 CA)

How do you arrive at that reading? You must mean you want to reword the OP in support of your response if you were in the same situation.

What you decide is none of my business either. ;)

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:50AM
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inkognito

'member that Bobbit woman of a few years back? If Weiners missus did that she could send out the offending body part snail mail. Ouch.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 10:19AM
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labrea_gw

gross

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 10:27AM
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minnie_tx

Since she is a practising Muslim she will probably follow the dictates of her religion

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 10:46AM
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kadydid(8)

I am pretty sure she should do whatever is best for her. From what I have read, she is going to make it work. She also seems to have known about this type of behavior before they were married less than a year ago, so my guess is she was not completely caught off guard.

At the end of the day, not everyone cares about the same things in the same way. She should do what makes her happy.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 11:19AM
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lily316(z5PA)

It's her decision, and I hope she makes the correct one for her. . As for myself, I'd be gone. There would be no trust anymore. What would she do...put parental blockage on all his devices like you would a 12 year old? He's untrustworthy, a newlywed and a new father to be. What kind of example is he to anyone?

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 11:58AM
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heri_cles

meow

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 12:22PM
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demifloyd(8)

I googled her this morning; apparently she is quite accomplished and considered quite a catch. I liked what Hilary Clinton said about her to Vogue:

"Abedin has the energy of a woman in her 20s, the confidence of a woman in her 30s, the experience of a woman in her 40s, and the grace of a woman in her 50s," Clinton told Vogue in 2007. "She is timeless, her combination of poise, kindness, and intelligence are matchless."

*

If I were her, I'd have never given Weiner the time of day--he's arrogant and I never got good "vibes" for the type of person he was in his interviews and sparring on television. Other people have sparred and argued, but not like him. There was something about him that just reeked sleazy and sneaky about him--and there is nothing to base that on, only a feeling.

Obviously, she knew him quite well and apparently did not have the same feelings, or saw a different side of him, or he was a very good persuader.

In any event, it's quite obvious the woman deserves much, much better than this man. It's not just what he did, it's his arrogance and continued behavior--not isolated instances. He thought he could get away with it--all of these factors indicate to me he's only sorry he got caught, because he had numerous opportunities to be sorry not to do it again, and yet he did, over, and over, and over again.
Like Lily, under these circumstances, there could never be trust again. Forgiveness--maybe, in time. But not trust or forgetting it.

I couldn't get past that type of behavior or the protracted public humiliation. That did not have to be, except that he seems to continue to put his own interests ahead of hers.

It if is true that a child is in the way, that would cause more contemplation because even if she leaves him she will be tied to him throughout life because of that child.

I counseled my children to be very careful as to the integrity and character of the person with whom they choose to procreate. It's a shame she did not have a full assessment of his lack of integrity and character before marrying him and starting a family with him.

I wish her the best, and eventual peace.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 12:37PM
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jodik_gw

What would I do? I don't tolerate infidelity... of any kind... bun in the oven or not. Genetics only make a man a father, not a Dad... huge difference.

If you make a commitment, you need to be prepared, right from the beginning, to uphold your end of the commitment. I plan to uphold mine. If you have no intention of remaining faithful, don't talk to me about marriage. It's that simple. I demand honesty.

So, what would I do? Retain an expensive attorney... a divorce shark.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 12:44PM
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demifloyd(8)

Jodik, I'm curious, what do you mean by "divorce shark?"
For what purpose? To gather more evidence of infidelity?

(I have a friend who did this--he left her for another woman; when she hired an investigator she discovered he'd done this throughout the lengthy marriage).

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 12:51PM
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jodik_gw

What I mean is a good attorney with a good record of winning/handling divorce cases very well. Someone who specializes, has good investigators, etc...

If I put a ton of time and effort into a marriage, and I'm not the one who cheated, then I deserve some decent compensation... at least what's fair... and as you probably know, most divorces are sticky, nasty affairs.

If I have a crappy lawyer, I could walk away with nothing... except a bill for a crappy lawyer.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 1:39PM
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demifloyd(8)

That's what I thought you probably meant.

Some people that are adept at hiding infidelity are also adept at hiding assets.

Having been involved in litigating many divorce cases I'd say sometimes the attorney involvement made the situation less amicable than it otherwise would have been if parties had just agreed. However, more often, retaining opposing counsel served to protect the weaker, and usually, wronged party.

I was good at discovery-I knew how to ask for the enamel on the kitchen sink. :)

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 2:00PM
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adoptedbyhounds

"How do you arrive at that reading?"

By reading the subject and the post. How else?

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 2:20PM
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agnespuffin

She has two choices,

1. Raise her child without a father.

2. Raise her child WITH a father.

My father died when I was four months old. I would not raise a child without a father. I would at least give him a try at seeing what kind of father he would be. If he turned out to be just as dishonest then as now, I would dump him quickly and make sure that the child knew that honesty and faithfulness is important.

The child would be the most important.

(and how is she going to handle motherhood and continue the kind of work/travel that she does.)

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 2:41PM
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chase_gw

I have no idea what I would do and I have no idea what she should do.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 2:54PM
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kadydid(8)

My in-laws have been married forever and I found out that he cheated a million years ago, during a rough patch. My dad cheated one time on my mother when he worked out of town all the time (when I was a very little girl). They almost split up over it, but they ended up working it out and I for one, am glad they did. These are people who ended up building very nice lives, travel the world and are still very much in love. How sad if they would have split up.

When I think about it, a lot of the great couples I know, have at one point had some sort of failure in this department. I am not saying that I would stay with Weiner, or wouldn't stay with him. I probably wouldn't have married him in the first place with the knowledge that he liked to do stuff like this. But its really weird to think that you always have to throw everything away because someone cheated.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 3:05PM
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demifloyd(8)

"But its really weird to think that you always have to throw everything away because someone cheated."

*

I don't know that anyone has averred that one "always" has to "throw everything away because someone cheated."

However, in this instance, with the repeated egregious and offensive behavior, possibly illegal--or at least it could easily have been (and how ironic since Weiner apparently coauthored a bill protecting minors from internet sexual predators), or it might violate House rules). The repeated transmitting of photos of his genitals to strangers, and calling numerous press conferences to lie about it, and blaming someone else, and allowing that person to take the blame and continuing to lie....well, that's different that someone being unfaithful once.

What Weiner did, I could never, ever stay in a marriage, children or not. But I won't judge anyone that does, except to note that if it happens again, well, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 3:14PM
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labrea_gw

She should first insist that he seek treatment if not then leave if he won't he's to far out there or in there to reach.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 3:23PM
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eibren(z6PA)

Did he physically cheat?

If not, he is basically a surreptitious porn star, living out a sexual fantasy through emails instead of romance novels or public display.

If he was seeking actual contact with others, that's another story, and if he communicated that way with any minors, he probably did break some laws.

Otherwise, IMO he's doing little worse than millions of men do reading porn, and millions of women do reading those trash romance novels and watching soaps.

If I were pg I would certainly not seek a divorce until after the child were born. Support payments for an "illegitimate" child are much less. Additionally, she will need his health insurance for the delivery. Hopefully he will be able to hold onto his Cobra long enought to cover it.

If she already knew of the behavior, it would hardly be proper to now divorce him for it. He could seek counseling for his sexual addiction, as IMO many readers of porn and romance novels, and followers of soaps, also should.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 3:42PM
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kadydid(8)

"I don't know that anyone has averred that one "always" has to "throw everything away because someone cheated."

However, in this instance, with the repeated egregious and offensive behavior, possibly illegal--or at least it could easily have been (and how ironic since Weiner apparently coauthored a bill protecting minors from internet sexual predators), "

Yes they did, I just forgot to quote them.

This site could use a few quoting features imo.

How is that ironic? He is not a sexual predator?? One has nothing to do with the other. Having sexual conversations and exchanging pictures with consenting adults is something that many people.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 3:54PM
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kadydid(8)

In regards to my above post, just to clarify it was not "always" in general but seemed to suggest that "always" for themselves.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 4:01PM
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bird_lover6

"Did he physically cheat?

If not, he is basically a surreptitious porn star, living out a sexual fantasy through emails instead of romance novels or public display."

Eibren, cheating involves a lot more than sexual intercourse. If you wouldn't want your partner to know about your "relationship(s) - online or not - because it will hurt him/her, it's cheating. His behavior went far beyond porn or smut novels.

What should his wife do? That's her decision. Many people have been horribly betrayed and were able to forgive and build good relationships afterwards. It will depend on her ability to forgive and his ability to take full responsibility for his own actions. And, frankly, he is expected to take full responsibility for his behavior, while there should be no expectation of forgiveness or her part. Forgiveness is a gift.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 5:15PM
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labrea_gw

I have no idea if he is a cyberpath it's always possible but again I will point out as Nik has the obvious he's recently married with a beautiful wife but needs more (of what). He is in office but risks humiliation (what is the payoff)
He has been questioned & insists theres no problem.
This is exhibitionism & voyeurism at least, emotional infidelity at least, risky behavior at least.
Remember again I like Antony Weiner I have met him breifly at Equality rallies & gay pride parades shook his hand. I like him enough to wish thathe would at least consider seeking counseling on this subject.
I have no idea if it's pathological but it looks to be quacking like a duck & I think their are probably feathers. Most internet pron addcist or texting addicst abusers use wahtever word you want are doing it to ease stress, to fill an emptiness that cannot be filled but demands more of the same kind of stimulation & validation.
Or in some cases punishment & humiliation a toxic shame cycle.
The way a coke addict grind his jaws an internet addict is constantly checking messages or up till all hours looking at all manner of porn or even g rated material being used as porn.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 5:31PM
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youngquinn_gw

Marshall I must admit that I completely missed the title and only saw the "what would you do" written in the body of the opening post.

Yes , I agree that what she does is up to her.I am only speaking for myself...but , to be fair...it would appear that you missed the question that I picked up on.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 8:58PM
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frank_il

I agree with Eibren. This, to me, is not much more than men looking at pornography.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 9:47PM
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linda_tx8(8)

When my sister found out many years ago about her Lothario husband, she did leave for a little while...then went back and tried to "work it out". He continued to treat her like a doormat while he had as many affairs as he could manage to have. As soon as the youngest child was of an age so that there would be no child support, he left. What the wife does in this case is up to her. Personally, I'd literally kick his well-viewed "private parts" out...but that's then again, that's ME!

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 11:29PM
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mylab123(z5NW)

I don't care what his wife does, it's none of my business and she will do what she decides to do. None of us can know what we would do unless we walked in her shoes.

My problem is his trustworthiness regarding his employers (the taxpayer), his need to live dangerously and his knowingly putting himself in the position to be blackmailed.

I think he came clean only because he ended up in a corner with no way out. Had he figured he could get away with it, I feel he would have done what was necessary to keep this secret. What was necessary.

It is that element regarding his character which I find to be so unsavory and feel he needs to vacate office over. He likes to live dangerously and because of that weakness, he is a problem rep. JMO

I have actually come to feel sorry for him. Those verbal sexual exchanges make him look to be an absolute fool - none of us could stand a magnifying glass into private moments with our partner without embarrassment should they become public. That is why they remain private.

I don't see why it was so necessary to publish those exchanges unless it was for gleeful humiliation purposes. In that case, I'm looking for Jodik's karma to come into play to those who made sure to make them and him a public spectacle. We already knew what we needed to know and if there are other details that we end up needing to know about, I'm quite sure that there will be somebody who will fill that need, too.

JMO

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 11:33PM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Attacking my favorite diversion is uncalled for! How dare anyone consider my favorite soaps porn...

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 7:12AM
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jerzeegirl(9)

How dare anyone consider my favorite soaps porn...

That's the WHOLE problem, Richard. We live in a puritanical society that is very repressed about all things sexual. To some there is very little difference between what happens in a soap opera and hard core exploitation films. They feel that both will condemn you to burn in the fires of hell. Just go back to the other Weiner thread and note all the coyness surrounding the mention of his penis (weewee? really?) People can't even TALK about it much less process it in their minds.

I don't know if Weiner is sick or just playing a game because he has lost his "freedom" by getting married. The fact that he was playing online doesn't bother me* (I used to work with a guy who spent hours on craigslist trying to set up a three way between his wife (who knew nothing about it)and anonymous strangers - evidence found by me in xerox machine - lol - although I never said a word that I knew).

Is he sick? Perhaps. Or maybe it's a new kind of fun. I don't know, but one thing I am certain of, is that lots of people are out there doing it and it's not just the congressman.

*What bothers me is that he thought he wouldn't get caught in a scandal. That demonstrates lack of judgment imo and that's what I don't like.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 7:44AM
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haydayhayday

Do you know what a Wiwi is? I was listening to NPR's, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" the other night. It's an intellectual, wordy, comedy program and one of the routines is to find an obscure word like Wiwi and then ask one panel of three to have one person tell the real definition while the other two on that panel make up some plausible definition. The other team of three then has to decide who's telling the truth. A lot of silliness thrown in.

A Wiwi? Give up? I think it's very clever. A Wiwi is what the Aussies have come up with as a mild insult for a Frenchman.

Hay

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 9:03AM
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jodik_gw

The problem is... most divorces are not amicable. You generally get a divorce because of something that angers one or the other party so much, that you can't live together... can't bear to share lives any longer. A good divorce lawyer will find any hidden assets and help ensure that his client doesn't get screwed.

Actually, the wife has THREE options...

1. Raise her child without a father.

2. Raise her child WITH a father.

3. Find a different/better Dad. Any man can be a father, it's the DAD part that's important.

I guess it all depends on how you define cheating and what you're willing to put up with.

What's worse? Actual physical cheating? Or cheating through technology? The intent is the same... the thoughts involved are the same.

It proves that one party is not committed to the other. Whether he or she actually acts on the intent, the intent is still there.

If I found out my husband was sending lewd photos of himself to some woman, or accepting lewd photos from another woman... or having some kind of illicit relationship, whether in the flesh or online, I'd have a problem with it.

Either way, he would be going outside of our relationship to get something he obviously feels is missing... or because he no longer thinks of me in those terms. Yes, I think it's cheating... and I'd take issue with it.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 11:25AM
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silversword(9A)

@ Hay, I think that would be a "ouioui" rather than "wiwi". :)

@ Jerzee: coyness indeed. I find it amazing how many adults can't say vagina or penis and if they hear it they look like they've been slapped. Our society is so rotten at the core. This circles right back to "ahhhhh! eeeewwww! homosexuals are freaks" while heterosexual freakishness is rampant.

I already know what I'd do. My DD's father was engaged in similar behaviors. I gave him one chance. He couldn't keep his promise more than a week and lied. I divorced him.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 11:58AM
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sylviatexas1

"Since she now has a bun in the oven she has a moral obligation to try to make the marriage work."

funniest thing I've heard this week.

My feeling is that, since she has a "bun in the oven", she should make sure that the "bun" has a safe environment;
she needs to find out if sexual exhibitionists make good parents, if they are likely to be sexual predators or pedophiles, etc.

I've seen too much healthy parenting by women on their own & too much male predation to recite the idiotic platitude that "any father is better than no father".

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 12:38PM
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chase_gw

"Either way, he would be going outside of our relationship to get something he obviously feels is missing... or because he no longer thinks of me in those terms. Yes, I think it's cheating... and I'd take issue with it. "

I don't think it's that cut and dried.

Men, in large numbers, have been attracted to porn forever. In my younger days it was Playboy and Penthouse. Hugely popular magazines that were available in most corner stores.

Like everything else the internet has changed the way we do things we've always done from how we communicate to how we shop. It has also changed the way in which men access porn and in a way I think this is an extension of that.

If my DH was reading a copy of Playboy in the bathroom , I might be ticked, but I would not consider it cheating.

He was doing the 2011 version of reading playboy and likely doing what men do when aroused and on their own......women too by the way!

Don't get me wrong.....what this guy did from a risk taking perspective makes we question his judgment but I can see how he did not look at it as cheating or going outside of his relationship to get something he felt was missing.

Doesn't change the fact it was downright stupid and he lied, worse yet tried to blame others.

What Mrs Weiner does is entirely her business and should not be judged by any of us.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 12:38PM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

I'd also like to point out that I do not believe it is the woman's job to make the marriage work when HE SCREWS UP.

Seems to me the burden is on HIM to fix things (if they can be fixed--but maybe they can't). It is not her job to clean up his messes for him.

Kate

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 12:45PM
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silversword(9A)

she...moral...obligation...

I haven't heard anything about her having poor morals. Seems to me that he's the one in need of some...

And like I told my ex, it wasn't the cheating as much as the lying that made me ask for a divorce.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 12:59PM
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maddie_athome

The "coyness" and the babytalk crack me up too.

Now. Seriously. In the United States, 45 to 55 percent of married women and 50 to 60 percent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship, according to a 2002 study published in Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy.

A difference of 5%. Just sayin'...

More at the linky:

Here is a link that might be useful: Source.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 1:47PM
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haydayhayday

@ Hay, I think that would be a "ouioui" rather than "wiwi". :)

I think that's part of what makes it so clever to me. They said it was pronounced as you would say, "ouioui". (They didn't spell it, just said how to pronounce it.) It was pointed out by the person who was saying the real defintion something to the effect that this is the region that gave us the "Kiwi", the term used to denote a New Zealand native. And of course, *blush*, we all know what a wee wee is. I just think it's very clever play with words.

Hay

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 5:29PM
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jodik_gw

Well, I guess it all depends on how you view porn... my husband doesn't look at men's magazines, doesn't surf internet porn, doesn't watch pornographic movies, or go to topless clubs to see strippers... he doesn't even like attending bachelor parties.

You can't cheat with a magazine, but if you have to resort to looking at porn, then you're relationship is not whole... it's lacking something.

If I can't say something to another person in front of my husband, then I shouldn't be saying it to another person online.

We both have plenty of platonic friends of the opposite sex. But our relationship is whole. It's not missing any aspect that would make either one of us look outside of it.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 5:35PM
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krycek1984(6a/Cleveland)

"You can't cheat with a magazine, but if you have to resort to looking at porn, then you're relationship is not whole... it's lacking something."

Give me a break! That is so ludicrous!

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 6:59PM
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jerzeegirl(9)

jodi: Please define porn.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 7:28PM
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labrea_gw

Yep Jodik that doesn't hold water. That's almost the same as saying if you have a good relationship one of you will never experience depression. Mark Foley was correct the other night saying that Wiener needs professional help.
I doubt I will dissuade you from your position as we have not agreed on other behaviors and how they can be problematic & require professional help.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 7:50PM
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jodik_gw

I guess you'd simply have to know my relationship from the inside to understand what I mean. It's a matter of personal morality, personal integrity, of how we were raised, of trust, honesty, devotion, commitment, communication... a combination of many factors.

You'd have to understand how different my husband is from the majority of men I've met throughout my life. To him, there's no sex without attraction AND emotion in joint combination. He has to have feelings for someone in order to be with them in the biblical sense. He couldn't just pick up a girl in a bar and have sex with her for no reason other than to have sex, for example. His mind and body simply don't work that way.

Porn is defined as sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal... erotic photographs or film, whether digital or otherwise.

From the horse's mouth... "if I have to look at pictures of nude women or other explicit material in order to perform with my wife, there's something drastically wrong within our relationship, and it's time to end it. If I must fantasize about someone else while with my wife, the marriage isn't worth a hill of beans."

Everyone is entitled to hold their own thoughts on the subjects... what I've written holds mine.

As to the actual subject... I'm a little surprised at some of the responses...

Given society's acceptance of general smut and pornography, and the amount of cheating that regularly goes on, combined with the approximate 50% divorce rate in our country... and it's difficult to find anything so wrong with Weiner's tweeting of a few pictures that he would require, a. prosecution under the law, and b. a 12 step program for addicts.

I will accept that what he did was wrong if he used government phones and equipment to send his lewd photos, and wrong in the sense that he stepped outside the bounds of his commitment to his wife. But should he really be made to step down for something that was supposed to be private?

If so, this opens a door to future investigations based on lifestyle or other non-legal issues, which isn't really fair. Aren't we all allowed to have private lives?

Of course, it ceased to be private when people other than the recipients saw the photos, so... I dunno... if he were my husband, I'd have retained a good divorce attorney... but whether or not he resigns his position would be for Ethics Committees to decide.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 10:21PM
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hamiltongardener(CAN 6a)

What she does is up to her. As long as he wasn't breaking any laws, it's their decision.

Just wanted to comment on this though:

Eibren:If I were pg I would certainly not seek a divorce until after the child were born. Support payments for an "illegitimate" child are much less.

Are you serious? They still do things this way in a court of law?

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 10:22PM
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eibren(z6PA)

"Are you serious? They still do things this way in a court of law?"

It would vary from state to state, but I would never advise a pregnant woman to get a divorce until after the baby was born, unless she had good reason to try to deny that the child was her husband's in order to deny all contact by him with the child. As long as a child is born into a marriage, the assumption is that the husband is the father, and she would not have to prove that. There are blood tests, of course, but there is a waiting period, and it is or can become a legal hassle with a noncoopertive male who never shows up to be tested.

I know that at one point in PA, Domestic Relations was only according something like $10 a week in support payments "for an illegitimate child". I imagine that has gone up, but I suspect there is still a differential.

Many women today do not realize that marriage was initially set up more as a protection for women than men. Childbearing and rearing was a risky, incapacitating, and often lifethreatening business, which it still is to some degree. Additionally, women are limited as to the number of children they can have, much more so than men. The law seemed to assume that if women were willing to take the risks of childbirth outside of marriage, they would therefore be accorded less protection under the law.

There are probably websites that address this.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 12:13AM
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haydayhayday

The name of the program is, I think, "Says You". 8 o'clock tonight. A lot of fun, even without the porn. Wiwi is about as close as I've seen it.

Hay

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 8:51AM
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mylab123(z5NW)

Jodik, the reason I think he has to step down is for how he handled himself and his words to his people AFTER the news got out - and because he placed himself in a situation which could present blackmail problems and because he continued this dangerous behavior even after an other congressman had to step down for pics less embarrassing along with texting which seemed less personal. There is a difference between being a flawed human being and a congressman with real problems - he has real problems which could directly affect his ability to perform his job and be honest with his employers *the tax payer* and for that I feel he should step down.

I know other congressmen do it, and if they get caught, the same goes for them. The ones who, after congressman bare chest was exposed, need to be caught for our sakes. They don't belong in such a position in government.

Look how he behaved after the facts became public - he lied and was outraged and dismissive and if he could have gotten away with it, he would have continued to be so until everything died down. What else would he have done to protect his rep and his job as a rep?

to me it has nothing with his private sexual behavior with another woman. It has to do with his need for dangerous and distructive behavior knowing the consequences should that behavior become public and then how he handled himself publically after the fact. Not good.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 2:20PM
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jodik_gw

Ok... he did prove himself to be a liar... and a bad one, at that. I can go with that reasoning.

But I think we need to focus less on the trivia and private lives of our Representatives, and more on what they're doing while in office. Are they representing us as citizens? Are they working for the common good, or for themselves?

These are all just distractions... trivial distractions. Media blowups and gossip. In the bigger picture, they're not important. See David's thread for more...

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 2:34PM
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sylviatexas1

In Texas, a pregnant woman's divorce will not be finalized until the baby has been born.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 3:14PM
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lily316(z5PA)

He's off to rehab to help him with his addiction..Bothers me he was sending a 17 year old messages. The lying and arrogance is why he needs to go before he drags down the party.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 5:25PM
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joepyeweed(5b IL)

She should tweet a picture of her pussy and then they will be even and can move on.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 5:57PM
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jodik_gw

How will a picture of her cat bring the score even-up? I'm assuming you mean her feline, because any other meaning would simply be rude, crude, and offensive to many of the females who post here.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2011 at 8:42AM
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joepyeweed(5b IL)

Is it any more rude and crude than discussing that which is none of our business?

hyperbole.

btw, I am female. I used to post here quite often. Just been busy lately trying to figure out how to tweet a picture of my underwear.

Weiner should get a tour bus, put that picture on the side the of bus and then take a family vacation in it.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2011 at 9:56AM
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socks

No one can say what she should do, and she's wise to do nothing for now. She is in a very vulnerable state at this time, emotionally and physically. In the beginning, she saw something in the man she liked so she married him, and maybe it's still there along with all the bad behavior. But it does make me wonder about her judgment in the first place because he seems creepy to me.

Joepyeweed: Is it any more rude and crude than discussing that which is none of our business?
Yes, your comment was ruder and cruder. Surely you can see that.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2011 at 11:20AM
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jodik_gw

Confidentially speaking, I'd probably use the same terminology in private, if not worse... but as it's a public venue with people that might be sensitive to such language, I just thought I'd make mention of it...

Vagina. There... fixed. ;-)

When you figure out how to take a picture with your cell phone, please share easy to understand instructions... I'm still learning how to text! ;-)

    Bookmark   June 12, 2011 at 5:09PM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Phew! I thought Jodik had another word in mind...

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 7:04AM
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jerzeegirl(9)

The word you are looking for is female genitals. You couldn't take a picture of a vagina because its internal.

if he were my husband, I'd have retained a good divorce attorney... but whether or not he resigns his position would be for Ethics Committees to decide.

How great is a relationship that doesn't allow forgiveness to enter into the picture?

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 7:35AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Can anything be forgiven? Where would you draw the line?

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 7:53AM
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labrea_gw

Gone away for treatment. There's a saying in 12 step programs "let go or get dragged" & usually dragged along a bottom.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 9:22AM
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jodik_gw

Like, 3 strikes you're out? It's possible to forgive... but that depends on the individual.

I'd have a very difficult time forgiving infidelity. It has to do with trust issues, and communication, and a few others. We made a commitment, you know? If you don't want to honor that commitment, be adult about it. Tell me. Before you go off and do something that could cost you our relationship. I'd do the same... I owe my partner that much.

As for the female genitalia, it's easier to put it in one word than to describe all the parts that you can see. ;-)

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 10:20AM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

Forgiveness? If he couldn't be trusted before (as his behavior clearly demonstrates he could not), why should he be trusted after he got caught? Does getting caught turn one suddenly into an ethical, committed person?

Kate

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 12:15PM
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mrskjun(9)

A seventeen year old girl? Weiner admits msging her but said there was nothing sexual. Should we believe him?

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 1:19PM
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labrea_gw

Of course not I wondered about this when I heard him say he assumed all the women he spoke to were adults early on in the investigation.
It's just that kind of statement goes with the territory of rationalization & justification as defense among active sex addicts or people with inter net sex issues. If he were speaking at a recovery meeting thats where gallows laughter would come in from other who have tried to rationalize or justify or deny their own behavior.
It's also the kind of thing that get people put in jail. I thought he or she was an adult (maybe yes maybe no)
The adult is the one that is supposed to have common sense in this kind of situation. Unfortunately it's becoming an all too common blind spot for those players on the net.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 3:00PM
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maddie_athome

Foley says it's ok so where is the outrage.

Then again, he no Dem.

Here is a link that might be useful: Source

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 3:30PM
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labrea_gw

That should be a whole new topic!

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 6:08PM
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jerzeegirl(9)

Does getting caught turn one suddenly into an ethical, committed person? I believe it can Kate. Sometimes, it's just the wake up call that a person needs to redeem himself. He probably never realized how much he has to lose until now.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 7:34PM
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labrea_gw

The idea of hitting a bottom is not a new one. However I have a lot of experience with zebras telling me they are snowy white Unicorns after getting out of rehab.
My experience is not a pleasant one in this regard it's akin to burning bushes, walking on water & Raptures.
While anything is possible the probability is very very slim in this regard.
A horse thief who stops drinking without any change in character or way of earning a living is a sober horse thief.
28 day wonders litter the rooms of various 12 step programs.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2011 at 7:41PM
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maddie_athome

Once you've hit bottom there's only one way left: Up.

There was nothing wrong with Weiner's online exchange with the 17 yo Delaware girl. Y'all can stop panting now.

That leaves Foley.

Here is a link that might be useful: Source

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 7:28AM
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jerzeegirl(9)

labrea: That depends on whether it's really an addiction (which I don't believe) or if he was just being a foolish idiot (which I do believe).

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 7:33AM
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mrskjun(9)

President Obama says that Weiner should resign like Foley did. Is this the final word?

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 7:35AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Just imagine Weiner's poor wife arriving home to this...

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 7:47AM
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labrea_gw

"labrea: That depends on whether it's really an addiction (which I don't believe)"
If you shoot heroin once & are hospitalized because of what happened to you after you shot it you may not be an addict but you still got a problem Jerzeegirl.
Since for the purpose of 12 step programs every dis ease is self defined it hardly matters what I you or anyone else believes. We have argued this on alcohol & other behaviors on this forum before it's interesting to me how steadfast people can be on the subject as opposed to the wreckage & grief present.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 8:54AM
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maggie2094

President Obama says that Weiner should resign like Foley did. Is this the final word?

Is that what he said?

I have gone back and forth on this and have come to the opinion that I do not think he should resign...even as it looks like he will. If it wasn't for the media there would be no story here. He did not even have sex and even if he did.

I wonder what secrets our heros of the past held. No one is perfect and I don't think this impacts him doing his job. Actually, if you read the actual emails...they are sort of sad...seems he was doing it as a stress reliever...almost seemed like he was calling it in - whatever it's scummy but doesn't impact his ability to do his job imho.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 9:31AM
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maddie_athome

Beginning earlier this year, Stack (a porn site moderator) and Wolfe (whose true identity is unknown) have carefully monitored WeinerâÂÂs Twitter page to catalogue the young women being followed by the New York Democrat. In several instances, they have sent tweets directly to these women "warning" them about the politician. The insinuation in these messages--as well as in postings on their individual Twitter pages--was that Weiner was a predator.

After Wolfe told Stack about making the screen captures from the girlâÂÂs Tumblr page, Stack suggested how they could release the information: "I think that since we have the stuff screencapped we call or email his office. But cc a whole bunch of people asking for a comment." But Stack then noted, "She is underage, however. Let me email Darrell Issa press sec."

Stack, e-mails reveal, was referring to Seamus Kraft, press secretary and "director of digital strategy," for the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, which is chaired by Issa, a California Republican. Issa, who has called the Obama administration "corrupt," is effectively the leading congressional investigator.

Yep that's right: A porn site moderator and a fraudster, thinking they can lecture others on morals.

But hey, they no Dems. And they don't shack up. Fine and dandy eh?

Here is a link that might be useful: Linky.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 9:58AM
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mrskjun(9)

Well dang, that certainly makes what Weiner did okay!! That's it folks, it's all over, let's go home.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 10:02AM
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demifloyd(8)

We know all we need to know about Anthony Weiner--and that he is a liar and a cheat.

What kind of people think they are above the law and don't have to have their automobiles inspected or registered, and change the license plates from one car to another?

Anthony Weiner, that's who.
He's just above it all, you know.

Yea, right.

WEINER THE CHEATER AND LIAR

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 10:10AM
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maddie_athome

I have gone back and forth on this and have come to the opinion that I do not think he should resign...even as it looks like he will.

My toughts too. He should stay -- just because.

Maybe the Dems should draft letters of support, like the ones that were sent to Vitter and Ensign?

Here is a link that might be useful: Issa, Again. Must be them 'Values'....

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 10:12AM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

Before our Republican posters (who always claim they are not Republicans but almost always support Republicans) get too self-righteous, let us note that the Democratic leadership have all called for Weiner's resignation. Must be those "corrupt" Democrat values that motivated them to call for his regisnation, do you think?

And let us all recall Republican "virtue" (from Maddie's link):
While Issa [Republican]is correct in saying there seems to be a "different standard" between the parties when it comes to scandals, he need only look across the Capitol to the Senate to see that he has it backwards. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) admitted in 2007 to patronizing the DC Madam prostitution ring -- a crime "a degree or two more egregious" than Weiner's, as former RNC Chairman Michael Steele said -- yet Vitter remains in the Senate to this day. How did Republicans respond to Vitter's transgression? With "a concerted push" to defend the embattled senator. "[T]he state GOP organized the release of a flurry of supportive statements," the New Orleans Times Picayune reported at the time.

Issa could also look at the case of former Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), who remained in the Senate a full two years after admitting to having an extramarital affair with the wife of a staffer, whom he bribed with $96,000 in hush money and illegally helped acquire a lobbying job. Ensign only resigned last month because of the pending release of a damning Senate Ethics Committee investigation and the possibly that he could be kicked out of the chamber.

In neither case did GOP leaders call for the senators to step down.

Wow, I'm so impressed with how much more virtuous Republicans are than Democrats!

NOT.

Kate

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 10:35AM
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mrskjun(9)

Wow, I'm so impressed with how much more virtuous Republicans are than Democrats!

Don't be Kate. Put them all in a sack and they'll shake out just the same. Vitter should have resigned and Ensign shouldn't have waited so long. And we don't need any of them.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 10:53AM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

That's a fair observation that I can agree with, mrsK.

Kate

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 11:44AM
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chase_gw

President Obama did not call for Weiner to resign. What he said was :

"Ultimately, there is going to be a decision for him and his constituents. I can tell you that, if it was me, I would resign."

Clearly it's a strong message to Weiner but the President is leaving the decision where it belongs, with Weiner and the voters of his riding.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 11:54AM
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maddie_athome

False equivalency, again.

I wonder what's the ratio...100:1? Whatcha reckon?

    Bookmark   June 14, 2011 at 11:56AM
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