Seed Traders Not-So-Anonymous Meeting
I am now opening this months meeting of Not-So-Anonymous Seed Traders. This is a welcoming place where we can all share and freely admit to our various gardening addictions. Feel free to confess to any and all parts of your addiction, and do not fear retribution or punishment. Here, all gardening "sins" may be aired, understood, and accepted. I'll begin.
Hello. My name is Dan, and I am addicted to gardening. I trade seeds at the drop of a hat, carry baggies everywhere I go in case I see some seeds that are feeling lonely, and am all too willing to grow plants in my yard. I admit to killing my lawn in order to make my perennial garden bigger, and to plant a larger vegetable garden. I hang out in seedy places, play with gnomes, covet seeds and plants, kill weeds (unless they have a nice flower), kidnap plants from the roadside, and enable others to follow in my ways.
I do not want help, treatment, or a 12-step program to change my habits. Instead, I would like 12 stepping stones placed strategically in my garden. Gargoyles, gnomes, butterflies, and dragonflies are welcome in my garden, as well as ladybugs, worms, and the occasional sea monster.
If you happen to be out of baggies, I have a supply of my own which I am willing to share. I have been known to skip buying groceries in favor of rose plants.
I've never beaten up a little old lady because she took the last package of seeds off the rack. Yet.
However, I have been known to "encourage" mint to grow in lawn of the lady who lives across the street. She loves her English garden, but doesn't know that at night I sneak over to her yard and scatter seeds from invasive perennials.
I am unable to turn down offers of seeds and plants, even though my yard space is limited and now am forced to plan an aerial garden.
I am a gardening addict.
Anyone else care to share?