Father-daughter dances banned by an RI school system!

tobr24u(z6 RI)September 19, 2012

A single mother complained that to have one was harmful to her child who could not participate.. Surely this is an overreaction on the part of the school dept....

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Even when I was a kid, an uncle or godfather or older cousin took the girl.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 7:16AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
tobr24u(z6 RI)

The mother claims to have no one available. And there is a question of what would happen with a lesbian couple. A solution could be to just have a family dance that would accommodate all situations...

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 7:42AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Probably not an over-reaction, but I agree with tobr24u that there should be a solution that would accomodate everyone.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 8:12AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Moving the father daughter dance out of the schools would do it & save tax payer money to boot!

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 8:17AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Why not just have parent/child dances so everyone can attend? Ticket price could pay for the dances.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 9:17AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
dublinbay z6 (KS)

Is this an east coast kind of thing or what? I've lived a good portion of my life in 3 midwestern states and I have never heard of such a thing as a father-daughter dance. Sounds weird to me and I know my non-dancing father would have been embarrassed out of his mind. Do these kind of dances happen in other parts of the U.S.?

As to the idea that the young girl with the single mother not having a family male to escort her ("an uncle or godfather or older cousin"), you don't seem to know that not every family has spare male escorts hanging around. My parents were both only children in their respective families. I had no uncles or cousins, not even a godfather. So if something had happened to my father, who would I have found for an escort?

Oh wait, from my grandmother's line, there was someone who would have been my second cousin. I never met him, never talked to him, but vaguely knew who he was--didn't like the guys he hung around with. Besides he was only a year or two older than me. I would have been appalled to have to go to a father-daughter dance with that unknown cousin my own age.

Seriously, this whole father-daughter dance thing sounds weird to me for lots of reasons.


    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 9:25AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I've never heard of one locally, either. And I haven't heard of any Debutant Balls in the last 20 years, but do remember reading about one in the paper - held at the country club, replete with frothing gossip columnists.

DD was asking me yesterday about the significance of high school homecoming dances. At a loss to explain.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:02AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
marquest(z5 PA)

We had them in my daughters early years but it changed to family because of just this type of situation. It became a social event vs a dance. You brought who was closest to you. It should not be banned.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:18AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
dublinbay z6 (KS)

about the significance of high school homecoming dances. At a loss to explain.

Let me take a [speculative] stab at that one. Throughout the centuries around the globe, cultures have celebrated the time of harvest/the change of seasons in preparation for winter (I will skip all the dying gods and goddesses who are re-born in the spring kind of thing for now.). In modern times, we have retained mid-winter (Christmas and New Year's Eve) and spring (Easter) celebrations of various kinds. Some have speculated that humans need these periodic seasonal recognitions/celebrations. Europe always had a stronger fall/harvest tradition, but America has never had such a strong tradition--although Thanksgiving Day substitutes somewhat belatedly for that but is more a family-oriented tradition. I suggest that homecoming celebrations have taken the place of the autumn/harvest tradition--communities gathering together to celebrate local communal bonds (through football, parades, and dances). Presumably such seasonal community activities are part of the "glue" that bind communities together and gives them a sense of communal identity.

What do you think of my theory?


    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:28AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I don't think we had dances labeled thus, and if we did, we never attended. I recall the typical "Sadie Hawkins" dance, the proms, homecoming... but not a Father/Daughter dance.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:29AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Well, Kate, that would explain the painfully ritualistic powderpuff football games, with the male foot ball players dressed up as the cheerleaders with the jaded coaches making sure they don't cross dress too provocatively.

Our school holds a 20 minute start-to-finish parade down main street, where strict guidelines allow handing out candy, but not throwing it, after somebody wrote a stern 'Letter to the Editor' detailing the dangers of thrown candy. Yes, it might put out an eye, let alone the wee members of society being trampled underfoot by the rodeo team should the Tootsie Rolls not have sufficient arc and land in the parade route.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:47AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

The Democrat base must be thrilled! If one person can't go, nobody goes.

Fortunately, the state law can be changed to comply with federal law, and the dances can continue.

The negative reaction from the community, and across the country is entertaining.

Here is a link that might be useful: Change state law

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 12:40PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Probably not an over-reaction, but I agree with tobr24u that there should be a solution that would accomodate everyone

All due respect, I am sick up to my eyeballs with this "accomodating" of everyone else.

We are not the same and no one should be dictating that what's good for them should be good for everyone. Leave me the hell alone, is what I say. As time goes by I"m starting to think of myself more of a libertarian than an independent.

I grew up without a father present and never once did my mom complain to the school when they had the father/daughter dance. It's a tradition held by some because they think it is special. If you don't or can't participate or don't think it's special, than that's your business. Keep your opinion to yourself and not try to spoil the fun of someone else. That's what the ACLU are, joy killers.

I think they should change the name on all public school buildings to "ACLU SCHOOL." It's obvious they are telling people's children what they can and cannot do, not the parents. Where does it stop? Oh wait, Obama will let us know that as soon as he's re elected and gets finished spreading the wealth of those who work to earn a living with those who sit on their a$$.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:17PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

GGM, you sure are one heck of an angry lady, angry about anything and everything that, you claim, has to do with Democrats.

Apparently this has to do with a state law that was being violated and making sure that the laws are followed is an important lesson for students to learn, regardless of what the situation is.

I have problems with this entire father/daughter stuff and the mother/son stuff, have since I was a young kid, and yes a kid without a father around as well.

It always bothered me that a school sponsored event was being set up to deliberately exclude some students and that was an acceptable thing to do.

Granted, a grandfather, uncle, cousin could bring the student or a grandmother, Aunt, cousin, but it wasn't the same thing as having a father or mother bring you.

Sure you can stay don't go and don't ruin it for others, but what does it say to all students when a school sponsored activity is set up to exclude certain students?

Is that the right thing to do and teach students that some of you are not as worthy or important as the majority?

Is it OK to say to bad if you don't have a father, mother, just stay home and be quiet about it?

Is it OK to have a parent sit back and say it's OK to do this to my child because the majority of the students can go, but my child can't?

Is it OK to make a child feel less worthy than the majority, even if it is only one student because, for whatever reason, they don't have a father or a mother to take them to the school sponsored event?

Is it OK to tell parents and students, as GGM say "Keep your opinions to yourself and not try to spoil the fun for someone else."

Is it OK to do all of this even if state laws are be broken to continue on doing something that is against state law and no one knows or says anything about it until someone complains?

Personally, I had to deal with these issues, as did my sister. We were always excluded from the majority. We didn't have a father around. Didn't have any uncles, our mother was an only child and no male cousins either. My grandfather took me once, but I felt so out of place because he was "so old" and not my dad. the next year, well, it didn't matter if I wanted him to take me or not, he was too ill to ever do it again and my sister never got the opportunity.

I never understood why it was OK to do this to some students, and no one really cared how those of us left felt, no one except our family.

SO GGM, there is more than one side to this situation, more than one way to look at it, and it is not just the issue that you present, or is it an ACLU issue either.

In this case it is THE LAW, and the law being protected by the ACLU, which by the way, many times is the only ones that care about the law and making sure that laws are followed and enforced.

Apparently it is the Democrats that care about the laws being followed for all people, and the Republicans that are selective on what laws are followed, the ones that are convenient for them and benefit them only.

Such nastiness, fear, paranoia and anger, its just pouring out of the GOP supporters, the conservatives now. They must really be getting scared now, after Romney's latest fiasco tape released to the public.

Time to get a grip, your man, your team, your disaster of candidates just keep on destroying themselves every time they open their mouths.

Calm down, because in reality, the sun will still come up and will still set after the election and R&R lose the election.

You will survive 4 more years with Obama, matter of fact, even though you won't admit it, in 4 years you will be better off than you are now.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 10:45PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

We had father/daughter, mother/daughter, father/son, mother/daughter dinners at various times and various schools. They were okay. A dance seems wierd to me anyway. That affair might get old real quick.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2012 at 11:31PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Never heard of them. If we had had them , I can't even imagine going with my father.

    Bookmark   September 20, 2012 at 2:12AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
A wonderful man left us last week
Father Theodore Hesburgh of Notre Dame dies at age...
Jmc101 z5
Duck Dynasty and Free Speech Award
CPAC is a clown show.I was watching TV today and while...
A Cultural Cleansing
ISIS torched Mosul's library. "...books represent...
Ben Carson Clown for all Seasons
Ben Carson, the retired neurosurgeon and potential...
Still More Nuts
A Christian Activists has filed a California Ballot...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™