When Can a VIP Safely 'Change Partners'?

chisueNovember 14, 2012

The current 'scandals' aside, I'm sure there are many dead 'state marriages'. Even in the USA. People just don't TALK about it.

When can an elected or highly placed government official publicly leave his 'lawful wife' -- if he wants to keep his job?

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momj47(7A)

I don't think it's the "leaving" that's the problem. Al and Tipper Gore did a pretty good job of it.

It's having a relationship with another person, or otherwise behaving "badly" while still married. That's just tacky and crude. And these days, assume there's no privacy at all, you will be found out, eventually.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 1:23PM
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YogaLady1948

I think they can do it in respectful~~lawful~~honest way. No affairs, no sneaking around, just in a sincere up front manner. This marriage is not working for us anymore and we have agreed to end it do it the the right way.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 1:23PM
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labrea_gw

Marriages often stop working because of affairs!

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 1:25PM
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patriciae_gw(07)

People have affairs because they dont respect their marriage.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 2:09PM
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chase_gw

I don't think ending a marriage honourably would be a career breaker anymore. Not even in the conservative evangelical ranks.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 2:18PM
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chisue

People grow apart for many reasons, but it's risky to stop presenting that 'stable marriage' front in the USA. The US still thinks it is more conservative than other countries.

Note that the Gores didn't divorce until...later. You don't think their divorce while he was a candidate would have been a killer? I do.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 3:39PM
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dublinbay z6 (KS)

Ronald Reagan was divorced, wasn't he? So I don't think it has been a problem in a long time. Of course, I think he got his divorce (from Jane Wyman?) long before he hit the national spotlight.

I'd say that if the couple do nothing to make the divorce headline news, most people will take it in stride. But if they each wanted to argue it in public, then it would be scandal sheet time! That's what they pay those expensive lawyers the big bucks for--to make sure the divorce is no more than a one-day wonder to the press.

Kate

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 3:41PM
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Tiffany, purpleinopp GardenWeb, Z8b Opp, AL(8B AL)

Assuming Petraeus is he who sparked this thread... That guy was supposed to be able to keep a secret, running the CIA, you know. If he can't keep control of his personal secrets (and now, it seems, classified documents,) he's obviously not qualified for that job, regardless of any opinion of his extramarital affair.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 4:41PM
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jodik_gw

Perhaps if it weren't for the public hunger of juicy gossip and dirty laundry, this sort of thing wouldn't even be made into a national issue.

On the other hand, one must expect to have little or no privacy when one is in the public eye.

As adults, I quite honestly don't understand why people can't be honest and upfront with one another. If you're unhappy, or there's an issue, say something to your partner! You owe them that much, having entered into a commitment with them! It's one of those moral obligations or bits of "personal responsibility"!

Why people marry, then sneak off to break the vows they took is just something I can't understand. Communicate, for crying out loud... you're adults!

As to the CIA thing... I think the affair scenario is just a surface bit...

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 6:30PM
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elvis

"Ronald Reagan was divorced, wasn't he? So I don't think it has been a problem in a long time. Of course, I think he got his divorce (from Jane Wyman?) long before he hit the national spotlight."

Reminds me of a very cool campaign button I received when I was a caucas delegate for Gary Hart; it said "Jane Wyman was Right" ;D

This post is OT because Gary Hart was a perfect example of what NOT to do.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 7:07PM
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valtorrez(6b)

I think once you decide to get out of public life you can safely leave your partner. Look at Hilary Clinton. I often wondered why she did not leave after the public humiliation she suffered by Bill. My friend told me that she would not get elected for any office if she divorced him. I personally thought she would not get elected because she stayed- I was wrong. She is back on top with her whorish husband helping her career like she helped his.
Gore and his wife did it right. It was quiet and not messy with a lot of mud slinging.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 7:07PM
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bill_vincent(Central Maine)

As to the CIA thing... I think the affair scenario is just a surface bit...

I agree. NO ONE gives up a 30 plus year public service career without a fight, much less volutarily, over an affair. There's something else going on here, and I'm sure it'll come out over the next few weeks.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2012 at 9:20PM
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lily316(z5PA)

I agree with Bill. Something doesn't smell right.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 2:44AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

We are polygamous by nature and it is hard not to act upon it...

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 4:47AM
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jodik_gw

Do you notice though, Bill, how the general public laps it up like spilled chocolate milk? National Enquirer stuff.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 5:35AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Yes, you got to love it. How can one not want to find out if the twins could be spies?

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 5:56AM
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jodik_gw

"We are polygamous by nature and it is hard not to act upon it..."

Then don't make a commitment you know you can't keep. Very simple.

I don't find it difficult to be monogamous, at all.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 6:37AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Most of us are not in a position that warrants active pursuit and, thus, are never really tested...

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 6:55AM
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lavenderlver

Me either jodik.

IMO, the public can understand and accept a couple divorcing, but not the deceit that comes along with an affair.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 6:56AM
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tobr24u(z6 RI)

Most of us are not in a position that warrants active pursuit and, thus, are never really tested...

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 6:56AM
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chisue

These affairs exist, and always have. Many 'political' wives know -- or learn early -- that they will be the proper window dressing for a husband who has affairs, a mistress, or who is gay. For centuries this has even given the wives the same leeway! Citizens of other countries don't see this as unusual or noteworthy as long as the official family is supported.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 11:19AM
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nannygoat_gw

Most of us are not in a position that warrants active pursuit and, thus, are never really tested...

This is true. Power is an attractant for some women and often those men of power have professions which allow them lots of unaccounted-for time.

These affairs exist, and always have. Many 'political' wives know -- or learn early -- that they will be the proper window dressing for a husband who has affairs, a mistress, or who is gay.

This brings to mind something I once read: Washington is filled with powerful men and the women whom they married when they were very young.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 11:41AM
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jodik_gw

I call BS, Tobr... I've been hit on all my life... I still get hit on, believe it or not... and I never have a problem saying, "no, I'm happily married."

But it really doesn't need explanation, because my husband has very openly and honestly explained the games men play. Women play them, too.

Players and cheaters usually want that bird in the hand, but they're perfectly willing to risk it for those two in the bush.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2012 at 12:17PM
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chisue

Ah, but jodik, you are a woman. You haven't had to 'man up'.

I think that under the tough shell every man is expected to develop remains the darling boy, missing Mama's unconditional love and approval. (Whether *his* Mama gave it or not.)

    Bookmark   November 16, 2012 at 10:35AM
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