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getyourleash

Bamboo Threatened by Neighbor! (long VENT)

getyourleash
18 years ago

I have already had it out with this neighbor several times with respect to the property line, and the fence that's on the property line which he claims sole proprietorship of since he put it up. I had a pine tree in the corner of my property. I caught his wife hacking it down as I returned from work one day. She "claimed" she was trimming it. She butchered it. About 3 weeks later I had DH remove it totally because the needles were turning yellow and it appeared that she did irreversible damage to it. FINE. I was furious, but I had decided at that point that it wasn't worth discussing with them because they refuse to respect me long enough to allow me to finish a sentence. You would think they'd know about common courtesy being an older couple, but they simply lack any refinement. I find it funny how so many older people say young people are disrespectful and rude, and yet there's no such thing as having a normal conversation with these idiots! (Sorry, I'm upset.)

Anyhow, the neighbor (the husband) started in on my Dh yesterday about how he was going to use herbicide on my bamboo. He was advised that he could trim anything that fell on his property, otherwise - the HELL with him! None actually has grown on his property, and he cuts his lawn every 2 days so it wouldn't stand a chance anyways! By the way I neglected to state that I had planted a bamboo patch (probably bisetti) along the fence because he's so nosy he had huge windows installed in the BACK of his 3.5 car garage (Too much $$$ and has nothing to do with it - this man needs a life!) and the BACK of his shed that have a direct view of our yard. I figured I'd take care of that with bamboo since privacy vinyl fencing is out of the question due to expense. In addition, there's some whacky law here, where he is of course grandfathered in that says you cannot block the "natural view" outside someone's window or from their property with certain obstructions. A fence would be considered an obstruction. Anyhow, today he got into with my huband and threatened to herbicide the entire patch of bamboo. I need the privacy from this nut, in addition to the fact that I have animals! My animals are enclosed by a fence the we put up that meets his fencing. (chain link) I don't want my bamboo killed, and I don't want my dogs poisoned. As the conversation usually goes, he threatened lawyers on us and my husband did the same. We actually have cause with respect to his shed as it's built too close to the property line according to land use regulations. I don't want to do that. In fact the last time he started talking to me I simply walked away because he wants to verbally abuse me and not allow me to respond in any way. I need advice, and maybe a lobotomy. Any ideas?

Comments (79)

  • Ron_B
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    After you make sure where the property line is, maybe all you have to do to shut him up (and out) is move the bamboo back from it a bit, so he doesn't feel threatened by it. A mown grass strip and root barrier between it and the edge of the property may not be much of a concession if it puts an end to the matter. Better this than them spraying the bamboo as well, something it is clear they are capable of doing - as was an elderly woman on another forum who sprayed herbicide onto a family heirloom rose and a grape vine from her side of the fence, well beyond her property.

  • Ron_B
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Correction: '...an elderly woman DESCRIBED on another forum...'

  • bigeasyjock
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Hey I like that mirror idea! Add to that a sun tracking function with the mirror positioned to reflect at just the proper angle ... oh lets say the windows of a certain nosey neighbor ...????
    ;o)
    Mike

  • koniferkid_nj
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Good idea Mike!

  • foxd
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Why make it complicated, a properly positioned section from a sphere, with a mirrored surface, should work.

  • foxd
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Better yet, an array of silvered spheres. I could probably be built out of Christmas ornaments.

  • Cady
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Mike,
    I think that's what the voodoo is all about...just the right angle to send a really annoying glare into snoopy neighbors' windows.

  • eric_in_west_seattle
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    It doesn't have to shine in their faces. On the contrary, ours faced north at their house. A quantity of small mirrors can be disturbing.

  • hc mcdole
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Razor wire and machine gun turrets should do the trick. Just joking.

    My wife got upset at our neighbor for planting some ground junipers and stone landscaping between our driveway and their house. I said it isn't worth fighting over for a couple of feet. A couple of years later he removed it knowing he was over the line (literally) at which point I filled out that space with daylilies.

    My grandmother and her neighbor had fights over a fruit tree that dropped fruit in my grandmother's yard. My grandmother said since it fell on her property then it was legally hers. The neighbor said because the tree was hers, then the fruit belonged to her. What a shame.

    Be neighborly (you don't have to do things with them or even like them but you can say "hi") and state your position if they say things you don't like. You also should try to see their point of view. Don't let your emotions make things bigger than they are.

    It was wrong for the woman to trim your tree without talking to you first. Sounds like this is where the fight started. Were the limbs hanging over in their yard? Shading out anything or dropping litter? If so, then they can probably cut what is on their side without coming on your side. I trim my neighbors' bushes that encroach on my property and I know they have done the same. Good neighbors have to put up with a lot of things they don't like about their neighbors' choices especially without covenants.

    If you start doing antagonistic things then you may get more than you bargained for. Make sure the bamboo is contained so they don't feel threatened, but tell them you want some privacy. Maybe this way they can see your point of view.

    If that fails, then you may want to start documenting, buying security systems, seeking legal aid, etc. Sounds like you may be at this junction since he and your husband have already threatened lawsuits.

    Good luck.

  • getyourleash
    Original Author
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wow! This thread has taken on a life of it's own! (Kinda like bamboo, eh?)
    First of all, let me say that I appreciate so many responses! I care about my property and my bamboo and I felt bamboo lovers would have some good advice. I was right!
    The second thing, I'd like to say is that I enjoyed reading your responses. Some of them make a lot of sense, others were just downright hilarious and some while, tempting, could easily land me in jail.
    Because this situation has heaped loads of stress on me and I've got plenty already, (Don't we all?) I've decided to take the silent approach.
    The husband tried to talk to me the other day, yelling over the fence at me(and clear across the property, I might add)
    trying to get my attention. I simply stopped what I was doing [trimming my butterfly bush so it did not eat my garage - can you tell I like invasives? ;) ] and I walked back into the house. I thought for sure he'd drive over and knock on the front door, but he didn't and boy am I glad! I think he knows better than to actually step foot on the property to speak to me. Anyways, that was it for that incident.
    A few days later he apparently caught up with my husband and told him that he didn't want to be a pain, to which my husband replied, "You already are". And then he proceeded to ask my husband if he would trim a blue spruce which is growing through the fence. My husband said he would, and I have no problem with that. In fact, I think we are going to take it down because it's a volunteer sapling that hasn't amounted to anything. Apparently, my husband is much better at staying calm than I am, and the exchange between them was cordial. I am hot-headed and do not have the patience for a person like him and I am sure would have ended up cussing him out. My husband is going to cut the little sapling down this weekend. I have asked him to cut it down before, so this is actually a good thing!
    As far as the bamboo is concerned, the neigbor has not touched it, it is not growing on his property, and it's being contained. As I said before, even if I had not put a growth barrier in, it would not stand a chance given the fact that he cuts his grass every 2 days. In fact, as I write this he's mowing in 100 degree heat! "Will he keel over and die? Is there a god? ;) >
    Last but not least, the neighbor ran into my husband at the gas station in town. (This world is sometimes way too small!)He came right out and asked my husband what was going on between my husband and I because were are discussing building a pool and poolhouse. It got a little heated because I don't think we need an inground pool given that we spent 4 grand on a quality above ground pool abour 3 years ago. He says that pool is an eyesore. So of course we had a heated exchange in the backyard as we were trying to muck out our disagreement.
    I guess the neighbor is concerned over the pool because he started asking my husband questions about it at the gas station to which my husband told him it was none of his business and that if we needed permits and such he could check with the county department of land use. My husband said our neighbor backed down very quickly. I guess he thinks he's the building and land improvement police or something. Anyhow, at this point it looks like my husband can negotiate with him if necessary. I simply can't. I don't have the time, as I work a regular full time job, plus I show and train dogs on the weekends and when I am home I like to relax. If I don't get to relax, I get mad. My husband's job is a bit more flexible as he is a builder/contractor and although he is busy this time of year he has a much better handle on work and play than I do. And for those of you who think *I* need a shrink, you are probably right! My husband often calls me the Anxiety Queen. Well, he has NO idea! LOL Just thought I'd bring you up to date on this crazy situation and if we have to play dirty with this guy at some point, I've got lots of ideas! LOL (I particularly like the mirrors idea. It's distracting, but not against the law here.)

  • koniferkid_nj
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    How about a nice big stadium light for your pool pointed his way....

  • katefisher
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Get:

    First let me say I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the suggestion of killing your neighbors. That my be politically correct and illegal, but it was still hilarious.

    We have a neighbor coughed up from the bowels of hell, who occasionally gives us huge grief over what turns out to be nothing. After nearly four years, I finally started acting as nuts as her. If she would get ugly with me about something, I would behave irrationally also. I simply realized that the fuel for her tyranny over us was based on my being a reasonable person. So I stopped.

    I hope this helps.

    Kate

  • lelanddunne
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    LOL, sounds like , with you not giving them any response , that it just might be driving the guy crazy wondering what is going on. and the way your husband is handling him asking questions, is just making him more nosey!time to drive him nuts now!!!!! keep up the good work! and glad to hear your atleast a little bit at ease now.

    love the idea of the stadium light , would be great if thier bedrooms were on the side that the light was on.! if you do it.

  • eric_in_west_seattle
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    With ideas like stadium lights, remember that perhaps they can reciprocate and then you are in a tit-for-tat. You don't want to be an ass like they are. You don't want your quality of life diminshed and be in a spite match. No offense, but it's clear that some of these suggestions are from amateurs. I unfortunately have far too much real-life experience dealing with bad neighbors. I'd much prefer to be an amateur. On numerous occasions I've had to calm myself and figure out what the best action would be. Here is a short list of steps I took with a neighbor over a period of nearly a year. This neighbor cut my trees and bamboo that were not on his property but on an alleyway and not interfering with the nighbor.

    1. I tried being a good neighbor and talked to them. I apologized if I had accidententally caused them a problem, and told them they just needed to ask my permission to cut or ask me if I would. Neighbor a had a tantrum, slammed door. 2 weeks later he apologized and we shook hands.

    2. Several weeks later, he's at it again. I called police. They came and informed him what his rights were (none) and that if he did it again he'd be arrested.

    3. His family now hates us and is hoping to get back at us somehow.

    4. Two weeks ago the neighbor wife was griping at me and my kids. I tried being polite and disarming. She continued.

    5. My response, "you know, why don't you just kiss my @!!".

    6. I think that's where we're at now. I tried NICE with them, but it didn't take. I want to keep a distance from them and not interact. However, they should now know I'm not going to tolerate abuse or destruction of my property.

    Documentation of incidents and dates is important should you need to go before a judge and get a restraining order in the future. I think you're doing the right things so far. Stay the course.

    Someone once told me "Living well is the best revenge". It's their goal to take you down. If they don't, you won.

  • Cady
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Stadium lights AND mirrors. The combo that guarantees "For Sale" signs go up in the neighbor's yard.

  • koniferkid_nj
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Eric in Seattle: Amatueurs? I have been dealing with this bad neighbor for years. Stadium lights was the ticket. Our local ordinances allow these lights and the guy was so ticked off he threatened to come over and @$#$@ me.Too bad I was already on the phone with authorities and he was the one who has the record now.After planting leyland cypresses and bamboo his view is not of me anymore...documentation is key plus it's good to have an attorney in the family who will put a harassment suit on them if they continue to threaten you..

  • eric_in_west_seattle
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Koniferkid NJ:

    No offense intended by my "amateur" comment. When you go through this stuff it seems like you're the only one. It's good to know there are others who have endured this kind of situation and come out on top. The trick is to not be damaged by the whole affair even if you do win.

    I see you are in NJ. I grew up in Brooklyn, where if people mess with you they can assume there will be repercussions. In NYC and I'm assumin NJ, people will tell you what they think to your face and you get take it from there. Here in Seattle, there's much more passive-aggressive backstabbing and behind your back aggression. It's a cultural thing.

    I'm glad he didn't come over and @$#$@ you!

  • koniferkid_nj
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Being a former military veteran , I would have loved it if he tried.
    I am 10 minutes from NYC.Your right, here it is a different culture.No offense taken Eric.

  • Ron_B
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I wouldn't wish for him to topple over while mowing the lawn. Suppose you were the only one around, the moral obligation would be for you to go over and give him CPR.

  • lkz5ia
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Most people don't know CPR. So the obligation is canceled. Isn't there a law that says let the dead be dead.

  • getyourleash
    Original Author
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Seriously, I do NOT know CPR. But you know I would call 911 after I finished trimming my bushes. That could take a while, you know!

    What brainless jackass would mow their law when it's 100% humidity outside, it's the 3rd day of an excessive heat warning, and he's older than dirt???

    Just as he would allow me to fall over and croak, I would let nature take it's course! It's the GardenWeb, after all! :P

  • lelanddunne
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    yep i know what your talking about the grass is 2feet deep now since the heat has been so bad, im heading out right how to mow before the sun comes up. the neighbors dont like the grass so high around here, but i wonder now if they would like being woken by a lawn mower.,

    you would be suprised how many people would mow their grass in heat like that , the 8 neighbors i have, normally mow once if not at least twice a week, and have been turning their noses up at me since i havnt. of course i have the temp in the house turned down so low it looks like ice is hanging from the ceiling , and wave at them through the window while sipping ice tea. :) cold you say? what can i say, im a meat cutter by trade and 40/45 degrees temp is a way of life for me ;)

  • rfgpitt
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    CPR - remember, broken ribs happen frequently if CPR is performed correctly.

    Koniferkid - didn't know you served, Thank You!

    those of us who don't have these problems should be thankful.

  • getyourleash
    Original Author
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    lelanddunne,

    What you are describing is exactly the situation in my neighborhood too. I have refrained from mowing my grass until the weather breaks. It broke early this morning so I will be heading out there sometime before noon. I simply do not care what these people think with respect to my grass, as I know that the county ordinance which I am subject to says that my grass cannot be any longer than 8 inches tall. Currently, my grass is about 5.5 inches tall, and it will be taken care of!
    What the folks in my development fail to realize, (save a few) is that I am a serious gardener, and I have made it my mission to plant things of beauty all around my home and property. I've lived here 8 years, and started transforming my little piece of the landscape the day I moved in! The bamboo is just about my final step as far as altering my landscape in a major way. Once the pool and pool house are built, they will get the same kind of treatment with native plantings and flowers as the rest of my place has done. Not to sound arrogant, but I WORK at my yard, it did not come easy and I've killed many plants and learned lots in the process. I have no doubt that those who garden a lot and post in this forum have worked equally as hard at their own gardens and in particular, growing and nurturing bamboo.
    The final step for major landscaping will be planted today:
    I have a fig tree that I have babied for 4 years and it is ready to grow up on it's own and join my grove of fruit trees.
    Nevertheless, I am looking forward to a complete bamboo hedge and not seeing my nosy and abhorrent neighbor over the fence.
    By the way, if any of you would like to see any of the flowers I have planted on my property, take a look in the Butterfly Garden Forum. :)

    All the Best to you,

    GetYourLeash

  • Ron_B
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Yes: Gardening is manipulation of natural elements, anything but letting Nature take its course.

  • chuckr30
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm sorry you have neighbors like this.

    Several people mentioned making police reports, but not why. Basically, a police report is one of the few things a court looks at which officialy documents a case. Your notebook and your word are worthless in a court, you are assumed guilty (as a liar). This said, make a police report if he threatens your plants or bodily harm.

    Re: the voice recorder. Here in Michigan you can secretly record a conversation in public because the person has no resonable right to privacy in a public place (like in his or your own yard). So record the neighbor's attitude and threats. It is illegal to record a phone conversation without the person's knowledge (consent is another matter, you may or may not need their consent.)

    Next, I suggest moving all or part of the bamboo if you don't want to find it dead one day. That's just common sense. The neighbor obviously thinks he's a tough guy because he can kill a bamboo. Yay for him.

    Also, re: the salt on his lawn. Interesting idea because it kills all plant life, but illegal if you are caught. You are destroying his property.

    Yes, walk away if neighbor starts to get abusive. He is not man enough to control his temper and you can't control him. It takes a bigger man to control his temper than to fight. It also takes a bigger man to make peace than to make war. War is based mostly on emotions, peace is based on overcoming and managing those emotions.

    Try not to do anything on the offensive. Just make police reports and talk to a lawyer. It might be worth it to spend $200 to find out what you can do legally. Don't you spend $200 a year on gardening? Just reroute those funds for one season.

    Also, when talking to the police, calm yourself down before they get there. If you are upset it just makes you look like a wacko. Then when they talk to the neighbor, he will be so upset, HE will be the wacko with the police as witnesses.

    Also, a personal example from me. I had a neighbor get pissed off because we (me acting for the association) took him to court because he wouldn't pay association dues (special assessment for an upcoming maintenance project). He told one neighbor "I'm going to kill him." The neighbor told me. I called the police.

    I would have loved to see the guy's face when the police pulled up in his driveway! But he never made another threat again. I guess he wasn't a TOTAL idiot.

  • chuckr30
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Did I mention giving gifts sometimes helps? Give them some toilet paper, which has been tested first with poison ivy rubbed all over it.

  • lelanddunne
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    GetYourLeash

    sounds like your neighbors think that a good mowed lawn is to go out and clip the grass with finger nail clippers!and dont beleive in planting nice plants around the house... butterfly bushes are great!and it at attracts such wonderfull butterflys also. cant see why anyone would not like such a thing....

    anyhow, i know what you mean. this is what happened to me today when i started to mow at 7am this morning. the neighbor behind us was picking squash and tomatos (sorry about the bad spelling) and saw me getting ready to start mowing, she yelled over and said, its too early to mow, the grass is still wet!!!! i just looked at her and told her , if you would like to mow my grass at 4pm when its dry and its 100 degrees, please feel free to do so.

    she yelled at me again and said, well its too early and the GRASS IS STILL WET! DONT MOW. well being the person that i am, i nicely looked over to her and said, if her husband and her would like to start mowing my grass when they though it should be done, tell me now and ill let them do it from now on.. she didnt say anything, so i asked again in a semi-dark tone, well? are you going to mow my grass? HUH?
    didnt get no answer , so with that, instead of using my lawn mower, i uncovered my farm tractor cranked her up and bushhoged the lawn...

    i could have used my lawn mower but, what the hey, they hate my tractor and thought it would be a good way to put my point across..

  • Cady
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I would let loose my noisy, squawking geese and let them graze the lawn, instead of mowing.

  • weskar
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I too , have one of those neighbors. He starts drinking early, to get rid of the shakes from the day before.
    He just completed rebuilding his hurricane damaged house, put on a second story with a wrap around porch. However he can only live upstairs as the bottom is only storage. His routine now is to shout obscenities as vehicles drive by on the dead end road, then turn around for a second helping of yelling. You get the picture.
    There is no reasoning with a drunk, he is either right or more right (lol).
    His house sits directly across from a marina, which is family owned. So the yelling at boatowners is common.
    Since he is being stupid, I moved a dumpster, within my property directly across from his front door, maybe 60 ft away. To sway the auroma of the dumpster I plant society garlic between the dumpster and fence. Ahh the pundget fragence.
    With the tropical breezes I hung two metal wind chimes, to enhance the feel of paradise.
    He has complained so much to the local board of alderman that his word is *@&%#.
    Maling boo will be planted this march/april.The singing bamboo as the wind goes through it is so soothing.
    Just another day in paradise.

  • Embothrium
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Margaritaville?

  • meat
    18 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I know how you feel my neighbor is a nutcase. Seh starte din on me the day we moved in about how her property line is actually 6 inches this side of her fence so on. When i went to build my privacy fence she blew up threatened sicking the city on us kept citing incorrectly i may add the local building code . Any ways I noticed shortly after an argument about her weed farm taking over my garage that the trees on my side were dying all at once. I finally bought a cheap webcam and set it in my window aiming down my property line. I set it to record only when there was motion . I finally caught her dumping chemicals on my trees. I confronted her with the pictures and video . She ended up covering the cost to have them removed and also removed her weed forest . This is a little different htan your situation but the point is if he damages your property then he is breaking the law prove it and you will be fine.

  • mark94544
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am amazed at the way people have jumped on the bandwagon, each one adding a more extreme retaliatory suggestion, many of which are malicious, illegal, immoral, and some possibly lethal. All this assumes that the situation is basically as you described it and that you are in the right. Even if you are in the right it would be impossible to determine this strictly from your posts on this forum, so I think it's a bad sign that others are so willing to jump in with you. Furthermore, you have stated that you respond badly to stress and that your husband seems at least occasionally to be able to converse sensibly with the enemy. I suspect that they are not as crazy as they seem, and that you are burning some bridges for the short term thrill it gives you to call them crazy ***holes.

  • kentuck_8b
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    People who like their privacy will eventually have problems with neighbours. Some people just have to know what their neighbours are doing. I, personally, don't care what other people do, but some people can't seem to exist without knowing what's going on at the Jones' or just like to cause problems, especially over property boundaries.

    I believe in living, and let live, but I have had some neighbours in the past who now have wished they never would have started a problem with me. I always got the last word in, or pulled the final 'stunt' that silenced them. It's sad that people don't try a little harder to get along, but after they drew first blood(more than once), I put an end to their harassment, once and for all. I am sure they now wish that they never had messed with me. I won't post what I did in each situation since it might bother some people, but hey, if you mess with fire, you will get burnt. I consider myself a calm and very rational person but everyone has their limits, and when attempts to reason with some people fail again and again, and they keep up the harassment, then hey, they bring it on themselves, and need to be dealt with by the only means that they seem to understand.

    I have had my share of bad neighbours, that's why I live in the country. Neighbours can be a royal pain in the 'you know what'. Even if they tried to spy on me through the distant trees, they can't see through my thick bamboo screen planted around my backyard.

    Bamboo good, neighbours bad.

    Kt

  • vandell
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Here is a link, that might be useful:

    www.rent-a-killer.com

    :-)

    VanDell

    *** Pimp your garden - grow bamboo!!! ***

  • kentuck_8b
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Great website, VanDell! Can you recommend them from experience? You know how it is, I don't mind spending money, but not for poor quality service! :)

    Thanks for the info....problem solved.

    Kt

  • Embothrium
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Continuing with the theme I discovered this year that one of my neighbors reached well over our back fence and lopped off part of my black bamboo, throwing the cut material on our side. They have also cut branches from a rhododendron and thrown them over the fence. These branches were on their side so it is certainly normal for them to feel entitled to cut those. However, I do not agree with disposing of the trash on our side. I threw it back. Since then, they have thrown it back over here, where it remains.

    Last time I was out in the garden the man of the house was too. He stood and stared at me like a deer, as though amazed to see somebody there. With his current hair and moustache from some distance he looks like Saddam Hussein. I won't be lobbing any 1000 lb. bombs into their house, however. I will be planting a bunch of new, big screening plants back there. Their place looks and smells (he smokes) like a motel, with a Scorched Earth Policy yard of bark, widely spaced rhododendrons pruned into tight balls and a viridescent, over-fertilized lawn--you know, like nearly every other "well-maintened" 'home' around here. If they think my place is an overgrown mess now, just wait...

  • lkz5ia
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    If its your plant, then its your clippings,too.

  • karickabee
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I sit here at my computer watching the fence company put up a legal, 8-foot-fence between us and our neighbors. I was looking for a type of bamboo that grows a bit taller to give a bit more privacy. And I came upon this "long VENT."

    Yes, I too thought I was alone with horrible neighbors. We'd ignored their doing whatever they wanted to do for years -- until they added on a bathroom with clear glass windows overlooking our yard and into our house. And they got BB guns to shoot the hawks that are attracted by their flocks of birds, They allow their kids to shoot, and not just at hawks and not just into their own yard.

    So, I found this discussion and the suggestions enlightening. We did a re-survey as the neighbors wouldn't believe the survey we had done when we moved in and of course had destroyed (and cemented over) the original survey markers. And we had to pay for an attorney.

    I know it's not the end of the rancor between us. I called the police twice when we were nearly hit by their shooting -- and they still continue to shoot[illegally as any kind of pellet gun is illegal and it is against US law to even point a gun at a wild (non-game) bird.] But I feel better with the privacy of this fence. And if a bullet ever comes over this fence, we will file a complaint and request a restraining order (as suggested here).

    When you deal with passive-aggressive people, such as my neighbors, who smile at the police and calmly say they have everything under control, it's better just to stick with what's legal and to not even try to have a discussion with them. They do what they want and how they want, and the best thing is not to allow them into your life. But when they intrude illegally and maliciously, then legal action is the only way to go.

  • mersiepoo
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I feel for you! We have bad neighbors on all sides of us, luckily there is some space (we're in the boonies, but you still get bad neighbors who burn plastic and let it smolder all day and the wind blows the stench into your house). I planted A LOT of bamboo, mostly to hide the ugly view of the one neighbors property that we can see in winter (and see all the garbage they have piled everywhere, along with the 30 dogs he has (he runs a puppymill, and do the authorities care? NO.). Destruction of property is a bad thing. Maybe you can get some form of mediation involved? I think that is cheaper than a lawyer. Sorry to hear about your neighbors, ours are really bad. One we have property bordering with tries to steal our land by putting up goat fencing on our side, he's built tree stands (with boards and lots of nails)in our real nice oak trees, their one son was in it and when my husband went up to the kid, he pointed a bb gun at him! The little jerk never even apologized (neither did his parents, no surprise), the kid started ARGUING with my DH about where the property line is (Sorry, but my DH knows how to read a topo map, as well as survey maps too, and WE know where the line is). Of course we called the police on these jerks, after all the other stuff they've done, it was time.

  • sprout_lover
    14 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Dear All,

    I want to tell you all, that the bamboo sprout is one of the most DELICIOUS vegetable in the world. It only come out of ground in spring time between April 5 and April 30. You can harvest them when they are about 1 to 2 feet tall. Peel them and cook it with meat. It is the one of the best vegetable in the world.

    Chinese food store would sell it for very expensive price of about $4/lb.

    If I live close to your house, I would go to your yard during spring time, and harvest them for free! AND I could cook some for you to eat.

    I would suggest you, invite some Chinese friend to harvest them for you during spring time, and let them cook some for you to eat.

    Or, you could start a business, harvest them in large amount, and sell them to Chinese food store.

    Or, you could learn to cook them by yourself. Just harvest them when they are about 1 foot tall. Peel them. Cut into short pieces. Stew them with beef chunks of about 1 inch cubic and 3 to 4 teaspoon of soy sauce. Put some cinnamon and bay leaves. Stew it for 2 hours.

    Oh! Yummy!!!!!

  • garden_comcast_net
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Can you not see that your bamboo is driving your neighbor crazy. You will not have a relationship with your neighbor until you start listening to what they have to say before dismissing them as irrational. My neighbor has bamboo and she thinks I can just mow it --wrong, bamboo have roots. I have many flower beds ruined by bamboo, guess you can't mow flowers. Wake up, and put a barrier down for your own bamboo, take responsibility for your own choice of plantings and be a good neighbor--maybe this justice would bring about some good will and sanity for your neighborhood. All it takes is to listen to one another--let's say the bucks starts with you.

  • Embothrium
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Let's not. In my case, no underground invasion of their property by my plant was involved. And there was no relationship before they damaged my plants. Clearly they have no interest in us other than to try and interfere with us on occasion, like the time I was thanked for digging out my bamboo - and then asked to re-orient my flood lights (over 100' from their house) so that they did not point in their direction.

    The first thing they did, soon after moving in was alter our back fence. When informed of our displeasure, they replied that the realtor told them it was their fence.

    And then took no steps to smooth things over with us.

    After decades in this same location, with a succession of occupants having passed through adjacent parcels, there is not one of the four sides or our lot that has not had offensive behaviors coming from beyond at some point. Clearly there are a lot of Americans who think being jerks is the way to go about daily affairs.

  • getyourleash
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I posted this note back in 2005. Lots has changed. The man who drove me crazy about the bamboo died about 6 months before I sold the house in December of this year. I think his wife still lives on the property, but does not have the same inclination to bug the neighbors as she did when her husband was alive and they worked in tandem. So, problem solved.
    For those who have difficult neighbors, I feel for you and I've been there. Keep up the good fight.

  • bulldinkie
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Oh Boy..When you dont get along with your neighbors it is just plain H#ll...we put up with ours for 25 years...Miserable..We moved to a farm 40 acres..aahhhh.This guy was security officer watching businesses when closed he was bringing home full coils wire,cutting up selling to scrap yard.Who knows hat he stole of mine,use to burn garbage 2-3 in morning when we had company etc so we moved..Now we have horses,texas longhorns donkeys for neighbors

  • wildbillgt
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Everyone left out the flaming bag a poo..........

  • SoTX
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am very glad I decided to get involved with bamboo because I surely needed this laugh and ideas. Count your blessings, folks-my lousy neighbor is big oil that has turned a deadend dirt road to 24/7 access for big trucks. 'bout 60' from my home.

    Though I rarely have the patience for it, I have seen reverse psychology work wonders. If you can come up with even one relatively nice thing to say, it will floor them. A trick I occasionally use is unrelated response, then when they repeat themselves, keep right on talking about whatever you chose just like it's a dialogue. This can be fun and really makes them wonder. Do it every time. They won't bother you for long!

    Plant more bamboo.

  • Embothrium
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    A positive assertion technique is fogging, wherein - in a polite tone - you repeat the same statement regardless of what the other party says until you get the desired response from them. This is for situations where the other person is trying to divert you from what you are asking for.

  • Hunter_M
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Has everything been settled? I know its been like 6 years but I hope everything is settled now.
    -Hunter

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