Hose the Opuntia down first, then carefully remove pads with a kitchen steak knife or small utility saw, and handle with tongs.

Not sure what you hope to do with the Agaves, a pic might help.

Hi Zeck, GermanStar was closer than he thought, the kitchen knife is the tool for this tough job too & it cuts like butter. Just take a sharp knife and you'll be surprised at how clean it cuts the agave plants.

And if your still concerned about the monster size agave, trim them down little by little, its that easy. I always used to use a saw to cut them before until one day some guy asked me if he could have some of the agave leaves, he was going to cook some meat in the ground. He started cutting them with a regular steak knife, at first I thought maybe I should let him use my Saw then he started cutting and I was in aww... the saw always left a ruff finish. The knife doesn't even have to be a mean looking knife either just a sharp one.

Your gunna love the way it cuts, I guarantee it,

Greg

Zech,

When you're done, can you come up here? I've got some Opuntias which need potting up.

GS is dead on with the hosing them down approach - it dampens the spirit of the glochids. Wear clothes (long-sleeved shirt and pants are recommended) you don't mind throwing away if you need to, and a pruning saw, along with the aforementioned tongs, and you'll be good to go. I've found the pruning saw cuts through the fibrous leaves of an Agave better than a knife does (for most species), but maybe my knife at the time was dull.

@ cactusmcharris: Grab one of your bestest, newest steak knives -- explain to the wife later. It has always been my experience that B-List kitchen knives are generally dullards.

GS,

Even the Wusthof? OK, OK, but I'm telling her you recommended it if she hafts to know.

I have heard that a sawsal with a metal blade is good for agaves. trim the lower leaves that extend out horizontal and create the narrower upward reaching form. Watch out for the sap, it has alkaloids and some people are very sensitive to it.

Also wit the macrodasys glochids, you will get them in you no mater what you do. I take elmers glue and smear it on me and use a hairdryer to dry it and then yank it off. I use tongs and a kitchen knife, utility knife, scalpel , or my husband fancy Japanese scriber if he is not looking. I know, I be bad. I wipe it off and return it clean and very dry.

Thanks guys!
I got a saw and sawed away at the opuntia. it was kinda tough. And i used some tongs to pick it away, i hope my mom doesn't find out about that... There was some dead cacti under the mass of opuntia that i guess disappeared under there. I might take the whole plant out. its very large, im not too fond of it, and im short on space. Maybe plants some Oreocereus there.
I did get glochids in me, not as bad as usual though. I was hurt more by the agave spikes. i kinda just went ham on it and ripped it apart. It also kinda ripped me apart but i guess thats Karma. Used a shovel to rip away the off-sets, and it looks much better already.
Now i just gotta get that Crab Grass... ughh.

@cactusmcharris ill gladly plant some opuntia for you if i got a little cactus prize in return. :P