well, I just looked at some pictures of spider mites and from what I can tell they all seem to be yellow or orange... the ones on my plants are actually grey/brown.. they just look like little spiders... any insight would be appriciated...

Spider mites are barely visible with the naked eye. Usually the back of the leaves on affected plants will feel gritty. By the time the webs appear you have a full blown case. Check the back of the leaves with a magnifying glass.
I've had good results with spraying the plants with insecticidal soap, such as Safer's or using Trounce, also made by Safer's. Yes, spider mites will kill your plant if you let them.

Here's a link to the houseplant forum. There are very some knowledgeable people there who will surely give you good advice. I don't know how to make it a clickable link; you'll have to copy and paste.

http://forums2.gardenweb.com/forums/houseplt/

Good luck with your plants.

my houseplants have suffered from scales and so what I had done is use insectical soap. However since these pests (all types) do travel from one plant to another, I decided to envelop all of them in large plastic bags before spraying to ensure I got every and each bugger. I suggest you use the same methods before gassing them. It's easier and also should be a one time process only.

Ianna

ok, thanks very much. I will check the houseplant forum and give spraying them a try. I can actually see them though, they are visible but very small spiders... maybe they are super-mites. lol.
thanks again. :)