That's really sad Dottie and I am sorry to hear that has happened. We are not too far away if there is something we can help with. -Tina

Condolences to you and your family. I believe your good memories will help sustain you in your grief. And, if you move to a place where gardening is not possible, you will have your past experiences as good memories, too. Sometimes we have to let go of both people and things, but we can keep them alive in our hearts and minds. Never forget the good parts of life. Allow them to flourish and bloom. Come back when you can.

I am so sorry to hear this Dottie. I hope things turn out ok in the end. Your GardenWeb family will be there for you if you need us.

I will add that there was something therapeutic about writing updates and getting feedback from everyone during the long drawn out tragedy in my family.

You're in our thoughts and prayers.

Dottie, please know we are thinking of you. Here is a bit of strange trivia: I just spent some time in GW trying to follow up on your reference to a "scuff," as in putting your daphne, pot and all, into a scuff. I couldn't find out what a "scuff" is was trying to contact you to ask you, and I see your note. What a jolt of sorrow. And a reminder of what is important.

Best wishes,
Carole

Thank you all for your kind words of support. It means a lot to me.
Tina, thanks. We've topped the hill of shock and confusion and I'm doing my best to find the safest downhill slope back to a new kind of normal for me and my family. I have good advisors and even better close friends. Now begins the months of paperwork.

Carole, you know when I described my luck with the daphne and the silly,lazy method of planting I should have better explained the process that worked so well.
Placement in shade in a slightly sloped location was very important.
Daphne are so sensitive to root drowning, especially in clay soils so the scuff amounted to using the heel of my garden boots to scuff a circle of soil loose to about 2" down, set in the potted daphne and push the loose soil up against the side holes in the planting pot to give the roots protection against air exposure.
This elevated semi-planting keeps the crown of the root and green growth safe from root rot and the primary roots do manage to find their way out the pot holes and into the surrounding ground and the ground below. Leaving the pot in place supports the crown and keeps it from drying out or being attacked by voles. At least that's what happened to my daphne.

Trying any other way to take a daphne out of it's pot and plant it high enough means you have to stake it and baby it with watering, not too much and not too little. It got a little run-off water from the lawn sprinkler system before the surrounding big trees could and it stood at the base of a big old tree for I think 20 years.

ncrescue, I've always admired what you do to salvage good plants before the bulldozer. Seems I always buy houses that back up to forests and ,except for dogwoods, I've had great luck saving and transplanting into the right place in my yards or friend's yards. The forest behind me is filled with mayapples,pawpaw trees,rain lilies and the edge of the lawn at the forest has native syserinchium(blue-eyed grass). That blue-eyed grass I will lift and transplant where ever I go and leave behind the seedpods.

Yes, John, I followed your difficulties and all your posts before and after. I feel like you all are friends although I never could get loose to attend your swaps, just a small one we tried in Charlotte.

Dottie- just getting back and reading this! I am so sorry to hear about your sudden loss! I hope and pray that you will find comfort in this terrible time. We will miss you, but when you can come back or need us, we'll be here. Best to you-