Why mail order? What you've described can be sourced locally. Pentas,yarrow,gaillardia can be found at Youngs,Pikes,Rountree,Kings,Colchester along with the short zinnias(mexican zinnias). I'd look to mail order to find the small headed,multi flower old fashioned tall zinnias rather than the dense blooming hybrids intended for mass planting at a shorter height. Butterflies love verbena bonariensis(sp) and later, the goldfinches put on a show of balance and acrobatics going for the seedheads. It reseeds itself and is easy to pull up and transplant or dispose of. It's bright purple heads soar above your other plants for a nice layered effect.
Save the mail order process for the really hard to find but not critical to your design plants.

Get yourself some inexpensive,small specimens of butterfly bush with a strong singular trunk/stem and start the process of making it into a tree. It takes frequent pruning during the season and deadheading to force new side blooms. Making a 'standard' of a butterfly bush gives you more sun to your garden underneath and more air circulation. Plus, you can fit it into smaller spaces. The dwarf white is the only one that doesn't want to go standard. It likes to sprawl or lean against a wall.

Where are you searching in the Charlotte area?
Can we encourage you to bring your business to dedicated garden centers instead of big box stores? I hope so. In this economy, our favorite garden centers need our business more than ever to survive.

Thank you so much Dottie for answering my question. I am not a Charlotte native and although I LOVE living here with my family, I've had some interesting experiences when visiting the local nurseries. I don't fit the regular "look" of the common gardener and when I visit mom and pop stores, they aren't really happy to help me unfortunately, so I've resorted to ordering mail order or visiting the big box stores that are a little more integrated. :)
I really would love to get some native plants too, so its a shame. If you know of any nurseries that would welcome me, please let me know :).
That is why I wanted to know if I could get any of these plants at Home Depot or Lowes.
Funny you should mention the butterfly bush; I had a white buddleia that I brought with me all the way from Jersey City and it grew and bloomed profusely. I love it, and I want a pink one now. I have a lot of room to plant which is one of the reasons I LOVE it here so much! I have Mexican Zinnias and Verbena Bonarienses and what you say is sooo true! It is a beautiful sight and I love showing my children the goldfinches. There was no nature in the city where I used to live, except maybe on rooftop gardens. heehee.
I've always wanted to try yarrow and gaillardia. They seem so easy and considering the droughts we've had, I'm hoping they are low maintenance.
Again,..thank you so much for your help and please post back if you know where I would be welcome to visit. I would love to help support local businesses if they were friendlier to me.

Be careful which variety of yarrow you choose, it can be very invasive. I have found that coranation gold is well behaved while appleblossom wanted to take over the entire yard.
A good short zinnia is the 'profusion' series. They do not suffer from mildew, they will attract lots of butterflies, they do not require deadheading to continue to bloom, they stay around a foot tall and come in pink, orange, white and cherry. They cherry color tends to fade after a day or two and kinda looks washed out. I grow it from seed but you can find it at some local nurseries.
Just as an aside, I don't understand what a typical gardener 'look' is. I have found that if you have a green thumb, meaning you have money clasped between it and your other fingers, any garden center is more than happy to help you spend your money.
Good luck and happy gardening!

Ooh,flourgirl..you like natives? I have a rather huge patch of native syserinchium. It's just past blooming but if you google it you'll see it looks grassy,loves clay and has the most darling blue flowers with yellow/orange centers. I also have the cultivated type with larger darker blue flowers. I had lots of the native type but my non-native yard guys keep spraying my unplanted side border and think what's there is grass or weed even though I LABELLED IT. Good thing I have plenty to replace them.
I also have a huge patch of perennial ageratum. It grows to about 2' tall and flowers late summer. Willing to share that with you also.It was moved here from Conn. , one of those passalongs from my Mom 35 years ago that I pulled and brought to Matthews and now to Weddington. It's not native but it acts like it is. It's a pretty light blue/lavender at a time of year when the blues are mostly gone.

I'm up for giving a tour of South Mecklenburg/Union Cty garden centers flourgirl. Weekdays or Saturdays, I'm flexible. I'm closest to 485 and Providence Road..where's a good midway point 'tween your house and mine to meet up?

Dottie,..you're sweet. Thank you for your understanding and willingness to show me around and share your plants!! Right now I can only plant a little because I have a 15 month old and I'm due in July, so its hard to move around. lol!

I know I'll enjoy the butterflies that these flowers will bring and I can manage to plant them close to my deck. My other two older boys and dh can help, but they have to be dragged into it and I'd rather not deal with their grumpiness. hahaha. If I had the time and less children, I would definitely love to go visiting local nurseries with you especially because it seems you are so close to me. I'm at the Mint Hill exit off of 485 and I go to your area about twice a month for homeschooling activities with my boys :).

Nc dirtdigger,..thanks for the advice on the yarrow. I will keep that in mind. I was thinking of moonshine but I will see about getting coronation gold instead. How tall does it get for you? I know it varies depending on where you plant it. :)

Thank you for recommending the profusion series of zinnias. Will the butterflies like them? If they will, this will be MUCH easier for me to plant! In the past I've planted the tall kind, but they do get powdery mildew and I can't keep them as pretty for long.
Ruthie

Dottie,..you're sweet. Thank you for your understanding and willingness to show me around and share your plants!! Right now I can only plant a little because I have a 15 month old and I'm due in July, so its hard to move around. lol!

I know I'll enjoy the butterflies that these flowers will bring and I can manage to plant them close to my deck. My other two older boys and dh can help, but they have to be dragged into it and I'd rather not deal with their grumpiness. hahaha. If I had the time and less children, I would definitely love to go visiting local nurseries with you especially because it seems you are so close to me. I'm at the Mint Hill exit off of 485 and I go to your area about twice a month for homeschooling activities with my boys :).

Nc dirtdigger,..thanks for the advice on the yarrow. I will keep that in mind. I was thinking of moonshine but I will see about getting coronation gold instead. How tall does it get for you? I know it varies depending on where you plant it. :)

Thank you for recommending the profusion series of zinnias. Will the butterflies like them? If they will, this will be MUCH easier for me to plant! In the past I've planted the tall kind, but they do get powdery mildew and I can't keep them as pretty for long.
Ruthie