That's funny to picture, christinmk! ;)

In the garden sometimes I'll grab a plant twist-tie to hold my hair in a pony tail while I'm weeding. One time I forgot it was there and went to the store with my high-class garden-style hair ornament. I got a few looks.

Another time, I discovered that my garden boots were leaking, so I wore a pair of my husbands boots while working in the garden. They were too big and I tripped over them, fell on the handlebars of my wheelbarrow, then onto the ground and landed on my face with the contents of the wheelbarrow on my back. Fortunately, no one was there to see this acrobatic performance except my cats. They looked alarmed. I looked bruised. LOL

I find quite a lot to laugh about in my garden but since little of it translates well to others, here's something I found humorous last year:

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Photos were taken through a window screen so I apologize for the blurry images.

I just find it amusing when I plant something tall at the front of the bed with something that grows half its size behind it.

Q#1: Am I planting while sleep-walking?

Q#2: How can I keep doing this?

I've begun just planting things and letting them duke it out and after a season or two I'll move a plant if it's blocking something shorter. Who knew painted daisy grows nearly 4 ft. tall? Did I have a blackout when I checked the plant details?

I was cutting back perennials and caught something moving out of the corner of my eye, just over my shoulder. I looked and there was a giant praying mantis stuck to my back, just below my shoulder, Just where I couldn't reach it. I instinctively freaked out and was dancing and jumping but it was just in a spot on my back that I couldn't reach. I whipped off my shirt in the middle of the yard to get it off. I know they don't bite, I'm not afraid of them, but it was so creepy and staring at me just out of reach that I reacted instead of thinking.

I then gently shook my shirt and released him back into the garden. Hope none of the neighbors were looking. . .

CMK- Abominable Snowman...LOL!

Oldgardener- Oh my gosh, what a picture! Too funny :)

Gardenweed- Great photos! I'm printing them for my mom...she'll love them.

Gottagarden- Yikes! I would have probably done the same thing.

As for me, my humorous garden moments, usually involve a barn kitty 'helping' me (they're very cute by the way) or horses snorting at me, saying...is it time to eat, yet?

One funny thing that happened last month (not really garden, but outside) my husband was draining the horses' water tank and was kneeling down to screw the stopper back in. Well, of course, all of the horses are right there 'helping' and Mac (the oldest boy/horse) leans down and pulls my husband's ski cap...right off his head. Then Mac dangles it in front of my husband, stepping just out of reach...just like a little kid would do.

I almost fell over laughing and Mac kept taking a step back as my husband was stretching out, trying to grab his hat. I won't recount exactly what my husband said...but it made me laugh so hard, I was almost crying. My husband finally stands up, grabs his hat...and tells Mac...#$*# Mac...quit playing with my hat!

This is what happens, when you have horses, who mistakenly think they're dogs...or maybe small children! Probably my fault, I tend to spoil them a bit :)

-oldgardener, glad you were not hurt!

-Eileen, LOL! Yes, why is that?! And why is it that in a garden plan everything BUT the main focal plant thrives? Love the pics of the Robins. Hope we will be seeing them soon, they are always a sure sign spring is on the way ;-)

-Brenda, I would have gone into panic mode and stripped my top off in such a situation too!

-LL, I ADORE that story with your hubby and Mac! Too bad you didn't have a video camera with you- I'm sure that would have won a Funny Home Video contest ;-)

Another funny story from me. This happened a few years ago, while I was out weeding the pathway. Now my pathway is lined with large rocks, under which ants LOVE to make nests. My hair was pretty long at this point (don't pull it back either) and was brushing up against the rocks as I was squatting down to pull the weeds in-between them. Yep. The ants had been disturbed while I pushed the rocks aside and they started crawling into my hair!!! I was hopping all over the place while madly flinging my hair around trying to get them all out. Thankfully I did, or the next step might have been dunking my head into the rain barrel, LOL!! ;-D
CMK

CMK - eeeeewww!! Ants in your hair? I'd have run screaming for the hose or the birdbath, whichever was closer! Does anyone remember the Charlton Heston/Eleanor Parker film 'The Naked Jungle?' And you hit the nail right on the head that the focal plant is the one that shrivels up & dies while the accessory/companion plants grow & thrive with exuberance!

LL - holy cow, what a great visual you created of Mac holding your hubby's hat in his teeth and backing up a step at a time! My cousin has always had a horse or two and I hung around and rode whenever it was offered so I can just picture that hilarious scenario. Hope your mom gets a kick out of the photos. When I posted them on a photo thread, someone commented the caption could read, "Look at the six-pack abs on that pool boy!"

This isn't technically a garden funny but... My gardening friends/neighbors decided to load up some living room furniture that another neighbor down the road had set at the roadside with a 'Free' sign on it--white cloth-upholstered sofa, loveseat & arm chair [read: retirees]. To carry out their plan, they needed my truck but since neither of them can drive a standard shift, they asked for my help. They loaded up all the furniture, I drove it the quarter mile to my neighbor Yvette's house. They started to unload the furniture but I suggested they go into her house and have another look at what was already in her living room before unloading. After about 10 minutes they came back out and decided what she had was actually nicer that what was in my truck. So I drove the living room set back to where it had been at the edge of the road (5-6 houses down the road from me), they unloaded it and Carlo decided to arrange it nicely so others would actually stop and take it away...permanently! They flipped over the FREE sign so it would show that instead of the SOLD!! they'd written on the other side!!! The three of us about died laughing as Carlo was arranging the furniture on the lawn just SO!!

Great stories!!!

LL, I can only imagine the big horse smile Mac must have had on his face as he played keep-away!

Brenda, for some reason I thought praying mantis had a nasty bite. Or am I mistaking them for that other biting alien in a movie I saw back in the late-70s?!?!

You made me think if a funny story......
DH, my son and I had just left a nursery with 6 big spiraea shrubs in the back of the car. Fortunately my son likes to take the long way home many times, so we took the quite leisurely way and not the highway. It's a very good thing we did because as we turned a corner (on a fairly busy road) all of a sudden from behind the sun visor in front of my husband a huge praying mantis crawls down the windshild. INside the car!! We both about jumped out of our seats. He pulled over and carefully removed it from the car.

So away we go, and not 1/4 mile further down the road, ANOTHER ONE crawls down the windshield! WHAT?!?! These guys crawled from all the way in the back of the car to the front windshield. So, we removed that one. The entire rest of the way home I was facing backwards scanning the car the entire time for more to pop out. Scared the daylights out of us!

One other story.....
I like to weed in the rain since they're so much easier to pull. One afternoon after work it was raining very hard, but I decided to be a good little gardener and get out there and weed. I was on a roll. It was the time of year when the huge crabgrass takes over and it's so rewarding to pull one huge clump and clear out a big space of dirt. I was very near the end of my weeding when I pulled a big hunk of crabgrass out. Little did I know that under the roots was a yellow jacket nest. UH OH! They started swarming after me. So there I am, soaking wet, hands absolutely covered in mud, running like a maniac back and forth across my backyard screaming and swatting at my hair which they were very intent on getting caught in. My hair was already soaked and add to that all the mud that came off my hands onto my hair I'm sure I was a sight to behold. (A few deer probably got a chuckle that day)
When they (and I) finally calmed down I grabbed a can of Raid and gingerly crept back up to the nest. They had definitely sent out their signal because they were coming back to the nest in droves from all directions. GOOD! I filled the hole with the foamy poison and waited. As a dozen or so more would hover over the foamy nest I would squirt them dead. I literally emptied an entire large can of spray as they came back to the nest, one patient squirt after another. This took me about half and hour or so while I was continuing to get soaked. At least I had pretty much finished my weeding before my adventure.

Too bad, or maybe a good thing, no one had a camera to record some of our little escapades, isn't it? LOL

Some of my funny garden occurrences also involve removing clothes outdoors in the garden - what's a girl to do when the bugs crawl up her shirt or pantleg? The first one that came to mind happened many years ago when I was pregnant and was in the garden wearing a slinky jumpsuit (this was the 70's). I felt a bee fly up the loose leg and heard it buzzing so since the jumpsuit had elastic at the neck and waist I immediately pulled it down practically to my ankles and the bee flew off. I sure hope none of my neighbors was watching or they'd have seen a woman with a big belly standing in her underwear trying not to scream. I did get stung on the thigh and it wasn't really funny at the time but when I told DH later I had to laugh at the mental picture of 'stripping' in the backyard.

I've had several experiences of walking in the forest surrounding my garden right thru a red ant nest and feeling them crawl all over my feet and legs and having to stomp and jump around like a maniac - it would look hilarious on a video. I think I'm getting better about looking where I'm walking altho I still wear flip flops which aren't the best when encountering those little pests.

Oh goodie! A chance to introduce another generation of Gardenwebbers to the infamous "Dog in Elk" story. Nothing in my life could approach this. There's a manure pile one I'll look for.

It's long, but I think worth it is worth the time and ribs bruised from rolling on the floor laughing

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Anne V - 01:01pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Okay - I know how to take meat away from a dog. How do I take a dog away from meat? This is not, unfortunately, a joke.

AmyC - 01:02pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Um, can you give us a few more specifics here?

Anne V - They're inside of it. They crawled inside, and now I have a giant incredibly heavy piece of carcass in my yard, with 2 dogs inside of it, and they are NOT getting bored of it and coming out. One of them is snoring. I have company arriving in three hours, and my current plan is to 1. put up a tent over said carcass and 2. hang thousands of fly strips inside it. This has been going on since about 6:40 this morning.

AmyC - Oh. My. God. What sort of carcass is big enough to hold a couple of dogs inside? Given the situation, I'm afraid you're not going to be create enough of a diversion to get the dogs out of the carrion, unless they like greeting company as much as they like rolling around in dead stuff. Which seems unlikely. Can you turn a hose on the festivities?

Ase Innes-Ker - I'm sorry Anne. I know this is a problem (and it would have driven me crazy), but it is also incredibly funny.

Anne V - Elk. Elk are very big this year, because of the rain and good grazing and so forth. They aren't rolling. They are alternately napping and eating. They each have a ribcage. Other dogs are working on them from the outside. It's all way too primal in my yard right now. We tried the hose trick. At someone elses house, which is where they climbed in and began to refuse to come out. Many hours ago. I think that the hose mostly helps keep them cool and dislodges little moist snacks for them. hose failed. My new hope is that if they all continue to eat at this rate, they will be finished before the houseguests arrive. The very urban houseguests. Oh, god - I know it's funny. It's appalling, and funny, and completely entirely representative of life with dogs.

Kristen R. - I'm so glad I read this thread, dogless as I am. Dogs in elk. Dogs in elk.

Anne V - It's like that childrens book out there - dogs in elk, dogs on elk, dogs around elk, dogs outside elk. And there is some elk inside of, as well as on, each dog at this point.

Elizabeth K - Anne, aren't you in Arizona or Nevada? There are elk there? I'm so confused! We definately need to see pics of Gus Pong and Jake in the elk carcass.

Anne V - I am in New Mexico, but there are elk in both arizona and nevada, yes. There are elk all over the da*n place. They don't look out very often. If you stand the ribcage on end they scramble to the top and look out, all red. Otherwise, you kinda have to get in there a little bit yourself to really see them. So I think there will not be pictures.

CoseyMo - "all red;" I'm not sure the deeper horror of all this was fully borne in upon me till I saw that little phrase.

Anne V - Well, you know, the Basenji (that would be Jake) is a desert dog, naturally, and infamous for it's aversion to water. And then, Gus Pong (who is coming to us, live, unamplified and with a terrific reverb which is making me a little dizzy) really doesn't mind water, but hates to be cold. Or soapy. And both of them can really run. Sprints of up to 35 mph have been clocked. So. If ever they come out, catching them and returning them to a condition where they can be considered house pets is not going to be, shall we say, pleasant.

CoseyMo - What if you stand the ribcage on end, wait for them to look out, grab them when they do and pull?

Anne V - They wedge their toes between the ribs. And scream. We tried that before we brought the elk home from the mountain with dogs inside. Jake nearly took my friends arm off. He's already short a toe, so he cherishes the 15 that remain.

Linda Hewitt - Have you thought about calling your friendly vet and paying him to come pick up the dogs, elk and letting the dogs stay at the vets overnight. If anyone would know what to do, it would be your vet. It might cost some money, but it would solve the immediate crisis. Keep us posted.

ChristiPeters - Yikes! My sympathy! When I lived in New Mexico, my best friend's dog (the escape artist) was continually bringing home road kill. When there was no road kill convenient, he would visit the neighbor's house. Said neighbor slaughtered his own beef. The dog found all kinds of impossibly gross toys in the neighbor's trash pit. I have always had medium to large dogs. The smallest dog I ever had was a mutt from the SPCA who matured out at just above knee high and about 55 pounds. Our current dog (daughter's choice) is a Pomeranian.A very small Pomeranian. She's 8 months old now and not quite 4 pounds. I'm afraid I'll break her.

Lori Shiraishi - Bet you could fit a whole lot of Pomeranians in that there elk carcass! Anne - my condolences on what must be an unbelievable situation!

Anne V - I did call my vet. He laughed until he was gagging and breathless. He says a lot of things, which can be summed as *what did you expect?* and *no, there is no such thing as too much elk meat for a dog.* He is planning to stop over and take a look on his way home. Thanks, Lori. I am almost surrendered to the absurdity of it.

Lori Shiraishi - "He is planning to stop over and take a look on his way home." So he can fall down laughing in person?

Anne V - Basically, yeah. That would be about it.

AmyC - No, there is no such thing as too much elk meat for a dog." Oh, sweet lord, Anne. You have my deepest sympathies in this, perhaps the most peculiar of the Gus Pong Adventures. You are truly a woman of superhuman patience. wait -- you carried the carcass down from the mountains with the dogs inside?

Anne V - The carcass down from the mountains with the dogs inside? no, well, sort of. My part in the whole thing was to get really stressed about a meeting that I had to go to, and say *yeah, ok, whatever* when it was suggested that the ribcages, since we couldn't get the dogs out of them and the dogs couldn't be left there, be brought to my house. Because, you know - I just thought they would get bored of it sooner or later. But it appears to be later, in the misty uncertain future, that they will get bored. Now, they are still interested. And very loud, one singing, one snoring.

Lori Shiraishi - And very loud, one singing, one snoring. wow. I can't even begin to imagine the acoustics involved with singing from the inside of an elk.

Anne V - Reverb. lots and lots of reverb.

Anne V - I'll tell you the thing that is causing me to lose it again and again, and then I have to go back outside and stay there for a while. After the meeting, I said to my (extraordinary) boss, "look, I've gotta go home for the rest of the day, I think. Jake and Gus Pong are inside some elk ribcages, and my dad is coming tonight, so I've got to get them out somehow." And he said, pale and huge-eyed, "Annie, how did you explain the elk to the clients?" The poor, poor man thought I had the carcasses brought to work with me. For some reason, I find this deeply funny.

(weekend pause)

Anne V - So what we did was put the ribcages (containing dogs) on tarps and drag them around to the side yard, where I figured they would at least be harder to see, and then opened my bedroom window so that the dogs could let me know when they were ready to be plunged into a de-elking solution and let in the house. Then I went to the airport. Came home, no visible elk, no visible dogs. Peeked around the shrubs, and there they were, still in the elk. By this time, they had gnawed out some little portholes between some of the ribs, and you got the occasional very frightening glimpse of something moving around in there if you watched long enough. After a lot of agonizing, I went to bed. I closed the back door, made sure my window was open, talked to the dogs out of it until I as sure they knew it was open, and then I fell asleep.

Sometimes, sleep is a mistake, no matter how tired you are. And especially if you are very very tired, and some of your dogs are outside, inside some elks. Because when you are that tired, you sleep through bumping kind of noises, or you kind of think that it's just the house guests. It was't the house guests. It was my dogs, having an attack of teamwork unprecedented in our domestic history. When I finally woke all the way up, it was to a horrible vision. Somehow, 3 dogs with a combined weight of about 90 pounds, managed to hoist one of the ribcages (the meatier one, of course) up 3 feet to rest on top of the swamp cooler outside the window, and push out the screen. What woke me was Gus Pong, howling in frustration from inside the ribcage, very close to my head, combined with feverish little grunts from Jake, who was standing on the nightstand, bracing himself against the curtains with remarkably bloody little feet.

Here are some things I have learned, this Rosh Hashanah weekend:
1. almond milk removes elk blood from curtains and pillowcases,
2. We can all exercise superhuman strength when it comes to getting elk carcasses out of our yard,
3. The sight of elk ribcages hurtling over the fence really frightens the nice deputy sheriff who lives across the street, and
4. the dogs can pop the screens out of the windows, without damaging them, from either side.

What I am is really grateful that they didn't actually get the damn thing in the window, which is clearly the direction they were going in. And that the nice deputy didn't arrest me for terrifying her with elk parts before dawn.

and that's why I have CATS, not dogs.

I am just loving all these funny stories guys!!!!

OMG. I think the Dogs in Elk story just about blew this city-girl's mind. I had no idea Elk bodies could be big enough to harbor dogs?! Wow.

Last year I found one of those huge party trays of shrimp out in the alley garden. Don't ask me HOW it got out there. Probably a neighbor or someone walking down the alley with a tray of shrimp (?) dropped it. I was debating if I should clean it up or not, but didn't get around to doing anything. The next day the shrimp were gone, except for the tails. I'm thinking some lucky neighborhood cat got a windfall of shrimp that day, LOL. I feel bad for the owner that had to clean up the litter box the next day though :-D
Not sure why the Dogs in Elk carcas story reminded me of cat(s) eating a seafood platter story, but it did. Lol.
CMK

idabean, I remember reading the dog in elk thread back then.

I had hesitated to click on it at first because I didn't understand the title of the thread, but every day it got longer and longer, so I finally clicked on it and was glad I did. It was hilarious.

Glad it has new fans. It went viral....ended up on newswires and way out.
I am looking for another one called "Bird Poop Saga" but so far no one has found a link that is still active.

There's a raft of compost stories that will make you cry.
Marie

Idabean! SWAOMCM (spitting wine all over my computer moniter!) My stomach is hurting from laughing!
Thanks for the laugh! Nancy

Dogs in Elk! Dogs in Elk!

I tried to find the Bird Poop Saga with the Wayback Machine but it wasn't there. Boo hoo.

I copied "He Meant Well" and "Dogs in Elk" onto my computer. I wish I had copied the other hilarious threads from long ago.

Renee

A newer classic, for those of you who need some coffee through the nose.
Renee

Here is a link that might be useful: Attacked by a Jar of Jiff Peanut Butter

So funny! What a day brightener!
kay

Today, it was very windy and I went out in the kitchen garden to put one of the arches back in (which blew over) but it was one I moved a few weeks ago, so it was only part way in the ground. Anyway, I'm walking around, checking on the plants (as the winds were dying down a bit) and sure enough, here come my 'helpers' to see what I'm doing. The barn kitties (especially a few of them) love to walk around the kitchen garden with me. I think they believe it's their garden, but I can play it in, too...when I want to. They also seem to think the fairy garden was created just for them, so they'd have a shady place to sleep in the summer...but that's another story.

So, we're walking around the garden, fixing the arch, checking on the plants, and finally I just started walking around, figuring out what I plan to move, in the spring. Then, I realize, two of the barn kitties are following me, even as I walk around in (seemingly endless) circles...and I swear, they're offering me the occasional opinion, too.

The funny thing is...they're not there for food. I had fed them only a few minutes earlier. They just seem to like walking around the garden...and adding their two cents. I wouldn't be surprised if they take credit for the whole design. "Oh, we suggested the table in the center...and the arch looks so much better, since we had 'the girl' move it. Don't you love that purple clematis, on the arbor?" :)

-LL, I was wondering how you were doing when the news said that your area was getting super strong gusts the other day.

Ha! Your kitties must be "real" gardeners. Only real gardeners walk around like that, lol! ;-)
CMK

CMK- That's true...we're usually the only ones walking around in circles, muttering to ourselves...although I'm not sure if it looks better or worse to say I'm talking to the barn kitties, even if they might be 'real gardeners' too! LOL

Glad to have turned on another generation of people to Dogs in Elk. What a yarn! I don't mean I don't think it is true, but the way the author spun it is like a classic bar story....on....and on....on....no don't stop! What happened next? Well, then we were all rotfl.
smiles!
Marie/idabean