Wish you the best Kat.
xokie

Hi Kat,
It is such a difficult thing to have a parent in a nursing home. Both of my parents died in 1997 and Mom tried to make the best of the nursing home but she really hated to be there.

Now my wifes parents are both in a nursing home and the step-father is such a whinner that they can't get anyone to share a room with him.

Sometimes the parents take it as a personal rejection even though they know better they don't feel better and lash out.

Perhaps we had better tell our own kids now what nursing home we want them to put us in since our turn is next.

My best to you, your mom and your family, Kat.

Linda

Kat, I wish your mother can find peace in the nursing home. My mother found peace in the Nursing home she went to for the last 6 months of her life. My mother passed this last New Year's Eve. She was suffering from liver failure and congestive heart failure. It tore us up to have to place her in the nursing home but neither my sisters or I had the room or the financal ability to take care of her.Just make sure your tell her that you love her as many times as you can. I still find myself wanting to call my mom and tell her something. This May I met two women on my tour bus at the Region 12 regional that knew my mother and grandmother when she lived in GA. as a young woman. I sat and talked with them for the time it took us to go from one garden to another and I had to tell them that she had passed away a few months earlier. I wish I could have shared that with my mom, it would have made her so happy to know that her friends were still thinking of her, friends that she hadn't seen in over 40 years.

Sorry about your Mamma Kat. It is hard for them to adjust when they are so used to being in their own home, but you just have to remember that she needs care that you can't be sure she will get if she is not in the nursing home. We have to make the best decisions we can when it comes to things like that. I know your heart is broken and I pray Gods peace for you both.
Sandra

Wishing you and your Mom the best with lots of hugs and prayers. Betsy M.

Kat: I hope that both your mom and you will be given the gift of serenity, meaning accepting the inevitable and making the most of it. During the two years that my mother spent in a nursing home, I saw all kinds of sick and/or elderly people: some had a smile on their lips and some were forever complaining, yet all more or less were living the same experience. It all boils down to attitude. You cannot change your mother's attitude but you can, if you wish, tell yourself that her anger does not make you guilty. Guilt is a useless emotion, it does nobody any good. Hope I am not guilty of serving up too many platitudes! Thinking of you!

We all salute you for doing your very best for your Mom. You're not alone in this situation, Kat. There are many others dealing with the trauma of a loved one who has to be placed in a facility for care.

You might not know that Garden Web has a Forum for those who are going through this very thing. I hope you can find this helpful for continuing support.

Here is a link that might be useful: Care Givers Forum

Thank you for your greatly support! I know I am not alone. I am really sorry what you guys have been through with your parents. I understand how it feels.

My mother had a good and bad days and never know what is her day everyday! Her legs wounds are very bad. She has been hitting her wheelchair and torned skin. her wound is hard to healing because of her diabetic. One day, I had to put some family pictures on the wall in her room at the nursing home. Boy.. It was so hard for me done this! BUT.. Mom's face was smiled and looked at those pictures. I have not see her smile for a long time.

I am hopefully that I will able to stay home in Arkansas until November. Now..I really need to catch up my yard work to do! Thank you again, Kat