wanted: have - something to pass the time till we thaw out!

21 years ago

NEW WORDS FOR 2003

Essential New Words for 2003 editions for the workplace vocabulary

BLAMESTORMING-- Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was

missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER-- A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on

everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS-- The process by which some people seem to absorb success and

advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY-- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream

only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM-- An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING-- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube

farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO-- The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs-- Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies

turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home

with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY-- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

whiney.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE-- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE-- The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the

rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often

profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to

solve.

404-- Someone who's clueless. (From the World Wide Web error message "404

Not Found", meaning that the requested document could not be located

[lost].)

OHNOSECOND-- That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that

you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFies-- Well Off Older Folks

CROP DUSTING-- Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube farm,

then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust-- leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

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Comments (2)

dahlea
21 years ago
Lol, I love it!! My mom sent me an email about 'New Medications for Women'-here it is.
ST. MOM'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P e p t o b i m b o
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D u m e r o l
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
low I.Q. Causing enjoyment of country western music.

F l i p i t o r
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

A n t i b o y o t i c s
When administered to teenage girls, is highly
effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

M e n i c i l l i n
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B u y a g r a
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength Buy-One-all
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J a c k A s s p i r i n
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

S e x c e d r i n
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not
now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

R a g a m e t
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

And the best:

D a m i t o l*
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
up to 8 hours.
katbird
Original Author
21 years ago
lmao!! Those are too funny!!! I gotta forward those along to some friends!!!
Thanks for bringing laughter to my day!!
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