Good topic! I have lived in Canada and England, and I take off my shoes when I enter a house. I was actually mocked by family members in England for this. Maybe they like rug doctoring their carpets four times a year - I don't know.

On the other hand, as a woman, if I go to someone's house for a party or something, I expect to leave on my clean shoes if they are part of my outfit (listen to me - I have outfits - hah!). I was pretty POed when a host I barely know made me take off my boots at her house once - I was wearing a dress and I had SOCKS on underneath. I was mortified. She said if I kept my boots on everyone else would too. I hate her. LOL.

I heard that in Thailand they take off their shoes in houses too.

Our American relatives mock us too. I'm not sure why or how this tradition started but it would be interesting to find out.

Gil, i don't have outfits - jeans and t-shirts maybe! LOL Sometimes i bring an extra pair of shoes or slippers, depending on where i'm going.

Welcome lobotome to the FN forum...

Oh yes, its normal that we take our shoes off at the door, infact we have a room called a mud room so we take our shoes off in there before entering into the kitchen. It is also custom to excuse yourself from the dinning room table when your finished eating. DH and I don't follow this one but back at home with my family we're so used to this.

Sharon

It's just a polite thing to do....respecting others' homes. But when going to someone else's home you do have to be sure not to wear your socks with holes in them, or socks that clash with your outfit.

Poor Gillian...I think I would be mortified too re...socks and dress.

Same respect as...as a guest you offer to help the hostess with getting the meal on the table, try to sample each food that the hostess made for you even if it doesn't appeal to you, thank them for the wonderful meal and you offer to help to clear the table after the meal.

One sign of respect that I do not see often, but is done at my parents' home...after the main course, the dessert is brought to the table BUT no one eats their dessert until after the hostess has hers and has sat down and tried hers. Otherwise...if serving a large group of people, by the time the last one is served the first ones may want 2nds of dessert and then the hostess never gets hers until much, much later. My DH's family is like that, they can't wait. My DH has had to learn to wait before eating his dessert when at my parents' home and here at our home.

Brenda

I will admit, I do wear my shoes in people's houses if I'll be there any length of time - arthritis in the feet, if I don't have decent shoes on, I look like I'm walking on eggs after a couple of hours. But I do always check to be sure they're clean, or take a clean pair.
Connie

Thank you so much for the wonderful welcome Marcia :)

Wonderful customs! I think it surely makes sense that we should wait for the host(ess) to start on hers first. My family is in your husband's category, but heck it does make perfect sense! *note to self* start new tradition.

Oh northspruce (Gillian), what an embarassing situation! I hope you weren't made to feel too embarrassed as the evening went on. I don't know of too many formal gatherings where we're made to remove our shoes (unless we know the hosts and party goers very well), so that was a weird one wasn't it?

Marcia, I also keep an extra pair of slippers for my husband especially since my husband's feet stink to high heaven!

Maybe THAT's why we Canadians are seen as so polite as a people in general, we are taught to think of our hosts before we think of ourselves.... just don't get on the bad side of me because my Irish roots tend to out shine my Canadian ones when that happens LOL!!

Connie,

I find no problem with people who take a pair of extra of shoes for inside use. That is still showing a decorum of respect for other people's homes. My mother in law has arthritis in her feet as well, I know that problems with feet can be excrutiating whatever they may be.

If my mom in law doesn't have her extra thick soled slippers or her moccassin type slippers with special padding, she usually explains her predicament and there are no problems with hosts. She doesn't drive and I've sometimes stopped at mutual friends' homes for a surprise visit.

Another 'no shoe' household here too. The only exceptions are those with arthritis (grandma and one older friend) and they both automatically bring 'inside' shoes with them, and women wearing nylons and dress shoes (because women's dress shoes don't have tread on them to track in anything. (In otherwords...those with arthritis and those wanting it... :-P ...nothing like 3" heals to cause damage...but they look sooo good...LOL)

I think the no shoes inside thing may have a lot to do with the fact that we have winter/spring (slush, mud, muck) 10 months of the year, and who want's all that in their house. (I wonder if places like Russia are the same...?) Not sure...all I know is that DH get's even more offended than me if someone wears them inside. (You'd think he did the vacuuming/mopping...LOL!!)

Brenda, my DH is the one who introduced the 'wait for the hostess' rule into our family. Funny, considering I was raised in a more (conservative/christian) family and he grew up in a houseful of 6 (insane/wild/party) boys and 1 (also crazy) girl, with one parent, but in many ways he has better manners than any of us (my brothers and I). Love my DH...The perfect combination of gentleman and crazy man...he brings out my WILD side...LOL!!Mmmmmm...DH...he's on his way home from Texas...been down there for 2 weeks working...I can't wait till he comes home...Grrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr ;->

Oops...got side tracked there...(what can I say...it's been TWO WEEKS...) So...back to manners...
Shoes in the house - bad (with a few exceptions)
Offering to help with meals - good
Waiting for the hostess - good
Please and Thank-you - good (of course)
Hi-jacking the thread with off topics - bad (Sorry all ;-)

Pet Peave - worst manners of all (IMO) - littering, on any scale

Welcome lobotome, from a fellow Calgarian. Add one more for 'in house shoe removal'.
We grew up kicking off our shoes/boots as soon as we got in the door. Christmas & birthdays are always a treat, you can barely get in the door for the assortment of shoes & boots of every description and size strewn about. Funny enough, my brother & his family spent 5 years in Texas where they became part of the non-removal group, and to this day (they've been back for several years) they still wear shoes around home. I almost feel uncomfortable kicking off my footwear when visiting them.
I do like to take along a pair of thick socks to pull on when visiting but then my feet are always cold.

And to the rest of y'all... you're too funny! ;)

The older the kids get the larger the pile of shoes at the door. There have been many times in the past few years when the kids have friends over that you can hardly step in the foyer 'cause of all the shoes there...size 10,11,12, 13's. Yes, even teenagers can learn to kick off their shoes when entering someone's home.

Verena, when DH comes home...how long is he usually home for?

Brenda

Interesting topic.
We have always removed shoes when entering someone's home. I, too, see it as a sign of respect in that I wouldn't expect someone to clean up after my (possibly) dirty footwear. My sons grew up doing that and it is automatic for them. Can become someone of a challenge when there is a pile of shoes at the door, but for every challenge there is a solution..lol!
There's been a bit of a segue into manners, particularly waiting for the hostess to start the dessert course. I had always been taught that it was very bad manners to start eating before everyone had been served - whether that was each course in a restaurant or waiting for the hostess to be seated if in a home. It's quite interesting when dining with a group that not everyone has that thought.
Margaret

Brenda, usually 6 days, though he's on call for the afternoon of his last day off so it's more like 5. DH has a week of holidays booked after this set though, so I'm going to get to have him all to myself (and Brayden, of course) for a week and a half. :-) Can't wait!! (We're going fishing, and I'm going to get to try out my new fly rod. Wooo Hooo!!) The stretches when he's away get really long, but then, once in a while, so do the days off... LOL ;-)

Footwear at holidays...LOL!! Mom usually invites half the neighbourhood for Christmas/Thanksgiving/etc. (usually 5-6 elderly friends that don't have any family nearby) so with our, ever growing, family we end up with a stack of shoes that threaten to take over the entire entry way (of course they can't stay out in the porch, because it's too cold, so inside they all come)...it's also entertaining trying to find your shoes at the end of the day ;-)

Okay, then also...how many of you set the table (not just when you have company, but on a regular basis) with the knife and spoon on the right side and the fork on the left side of the plate?

I get "lazy" and quite often do not give anyone a spoon and put the knife and fork on the right side...unless we have company.

What about serving the food...do you transfer the food from the pot into a serving bowl all the time to put on the table or just when you have company? I usually do it only when we have company. Why dirty another dish?

Brenda

Call me lazy, but if at all possible it's from the pot to the plate. I don't do formal meals (that will change I hope) so when we invite friends and family over we put the dishes and silverware(utensils) in the middle of the table and they serve themselves.

At my house it's REALLY special when I put the food into a serving dish and set it on the table ;) We're a very very informal family. I wouldn't know how to set the utensils if my life depended on it.... my sis in law (who I invite to dinner the most) would be able to do it for me... she's such a love!

Interesting topic. I do remove my shoes when I go into someone home as well as my own. I was raised that this was the proper thing to do. This winter our small community welcomed 11 immigrants from Africa to live in pur community and work at my work place. When they first arrived this winter,they entered everyones houses boots and all. They have since adapted to our ways. It gave us all a smile on our faces, just thinking that they thought nothing of it.
Shelley

Most of the time I just dish it all up, and bring it in to DH (he's spoiled, he knows it ;-) If I do up a 'fancy' meal (like for Valentine's or his b-day) I set the table properly, complete with candles/etc. But not most of the time. If we have company over, then I always set a proper table and use serving dishes.
Now that DS is getting a little bigger this is one thing that is going to change. Right now we eat in the living room and watch tv, with DS in the high chair, but I want him to learn proper table manners, and I think the 'family' meal times are important (DH agrees), so I'm working on the transition. Then it will be placemats and knife/fork/spoon and proper serving dishes.
Verena

I always set the table for supper, at least, and the forks and knives are always in proper position. We just put the pots right on the table, too. For special occasions, i transfer things to serving bowls, but not for every day.

Here's another question. Do you have everything matching in your dishes? Several years ago, i bought myself some Corelle dishes, "Calloway" design (with the ivy), and then got the casseroles, serving bowls and mixing bowls too. Even the placemats match. :)

When DH and I were engaged we went to the Bay in downtown Winnipeg and chose a Mikasa set of dishes. For wedding and shower gifts we received serving dishes, platters, gravy boat and sugar and cream sets plus all the dishes. I have picked some up at garage sales and at Value Village since then also. That is what we use for everyday use and for company. It is a 'large' set...for example, the cereal bowl is large enough to be used as a serving bowl. Over the past 24 years, thankfully, we have only broken a few plates and one bowl.

Brenda

Shoe removal? I tend to go barefootin' all the time and have to remember to put socks on when company comes... LOL (unless we are so comfortable with them that it doesn't matter! LOL). But, definately when entering someone's house we were raised that yes, you remove shoes unless the host/hostess says its OK to leave them on.

Serving up supper? We do set the table every night and my oldest is totally into setting everything "proper" because she just learned about that in school. (she's 10). I do just put the pans on the table unless its Christmas dinner or something like that.

Do my serving dishes match? No. I have a Corelle set (Rosemarie) that we got 10 years ago or so and it came with a serving bowl as an extra. We bought two sets at the time so we originally had 2 serving bowls. We now have one serving bowl (thanks to a previous kitchen with terra cotta tile flooring.... oh well). I use my casserole dishes to serve in or whatever other bowls/plates I have.

BTW -- I wanted the Callaway set but they were sold out at the time! I have some casserole dishes with ivy and also my teapot has ivy.

Ang

We do set the table for supper, and lunch on weekends, but it goes on the table in the pots. Serving dishes are mostly for company. I started something new last night. DH and DS's have a very bad habit of starting to eat before everyone's at the table (and sometimes before all the food is even on) so from now on, the food doesn't go on until everybody's sitting down. Now to train them not to dig in until we've said grace!
Connie

I have also noticed that in the home I grew up in and in our home...food does not get eaten until after grace is said. Rarely is food even put on your plate until after grace is said either. Whereas, in my DH's family that he grew up in...everyone sat down and dug in right away, no blessing and no waiting.

Brenda

Thank you so much for the wonderful welcome Marcia :)
That was me, but thatÂs ok, I'm sure Marcia welcomes you too ;)

Same with my side of the family Brenda, we always say Grace before our meals. Great Granny's ritual has always been respected.

Sharon

Eeek so sorry Sharon, her post was above yours and as usual, I screwed up! sheesh

Thank YOU for the wonderful welcome too heh heh *blush*

Grace before meals here too although neither of our families grew up with it.

We didn't say grace but we did have to wait until everyone was served with everything before we started. We also had to use cutlery in the correct hands (English), which I notice very few Canadians do. Doesn't bother me much but I was raised that way. Children had to ask to be excused after the meal. There was a whole list of archaic table manners that simply do not exist in North America, which my friends liked me to recite for them to giggle at.

Nowadays I usually multitask and eat in front of the computer or TV - I just do not have time or inclination to serve dinner. I'm sure if I had kids I would make more of an effort.

At our house it's 'come on in, and leave your shoes on'. Our apartment in Germany was ceramic tile throughout and that's when leaving shoes on got started - it was just too cold nd hard to go without footwear. Now we have laminate flooring throughout our house (ceramic in the bathrooms). There's a big rug at the entrance and everyone wipes their feet before coming further in. Winter and snowy boots are an exception, though.

We rarely eat at the table - I always dish up the plates from the pots on the stove (just the 2 of us) and we eat in the living room. I like special occasions where I set the table with the tablecloth, napkins, fancy dishes and cutlery. It feels so civilized.

Eeek so sorry Sharon, her post was above yours and as usual, I screwed up! sheesh

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, it's always Marcia!
(Brady Bunch whine)
LOL ;)

Sharon

Are you guys seeing the same thing I'm seeing, everytime I read the heading of this thread it says Snow Shoe removal, is it a Canadian Culture thing?

Oh geez, I said the S word!

Sharon

Hush! It's cold and threatening rain today, so I'm trying really hard not to even THINK the S word!
Connie

"Are you guys seeing the same thing I'm seeing, everytime I read the heading of this thread it says Snow Shoe removal, is it a Canadian Culture thing?" That's what I see everytime too... sheesh! how conditioned are we??!!! lol

I definitely make people remove their snow shoes at the door. We have a bi-level house and it's really hard going up a flight of stairs with your snow shoes on. :D

Too funny, Marcia....
Margaret