I found this in an archive, in case anyone would like to read it. It was listed under funniest posts, but the link no longer works.

Renee

He Meant Well...

Posted by ellen - 3/4 (elanterm@co.jefferson.co.us) on Tue, Apr 7, 98 at 12:46

What's the best example of a well-meaning garden monstrosity you've spotted in your or your neighbors yard? These seem to be mostly the product of less-than-artistic but loving husbands trying to please their wives.

My vote goes for the strange, clumsy heap of rock and concrete my mother and I saw at a house she was looking at as a possible to buy. It was strangely pointy, almost six feet high, and painted white on the top, like artificial snow!

Before we dared ask "what is it?" the owner proudly exclaimed "It's the Matterhorn!" and triumphantly flipped a switch which caused water to squirt out the top like a psychotic fountain!

Luckily, we were able to contain our laughter. It turned out he had built it for his ill wife, who was an immigrant from Switzerland. She had lupus and couldn't garden anymore, but she could look out the kitchen window and see "The Matterhorn".

Mom did buy the house, and The Matterhorn was converted into what turned out to be a very attractive rock garden - with the fountain and "snow" removed!

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Follow-Up Postings:

RE: He Meant Well...

Posted by: Linda Campbell - Ia. Z 4/5 (lindac@netins.net) on Thu, Apr 9, 98 at 19:28

Garden Monstrosities...thy name is legion!!

How about the ubiquitous upturned bathtub as a shrine...complete with plastic madonna and plastic flowers? Or one of those metal garden carts planted in the same manner as an antique wheelbarrow? How about a white painted tractor tire as a raised bed? Or some one in the east end of town who has an enormous setting...at least 1 1/2 acres...full of little spotty beds..a round one here full fo geraneums and a square one there with petunias....each with a piece of plastic statuary! Lots of time and energy spent...but it just doesn't make it!! I live in Newton Iowa...Home of Maytag...lots of people get a discarded from the factory, stainless steel washer tub and use it as a planter!! Ugh!!

Linda C

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Idaho - cen Ca. (nsharer@qnis.net) on Sun, Apr 12, 98 at 22:46

Just remember us okies take companion planting literaly. P.s. Modona also attracts benificials. Scott

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RE: She Meant Well...

 Posted by: Carol - 6a (fuzzdu@vt.edu) on Mon, Apr 13, 98 at 15:12

SHE ment well. A neighbor made large rectangular raised beds alond her side yard to the street, they were dark brown and each about 3 feet high, 6-7 feet long and 4 feet wide. In the northeast they only bloomed for a short part of the year and after spending so much money on the beds she had no money for flowers. She had CASKETS in her yard! Creepy and ugly!! She planted them 16 years ago and they are still there!

But nothing beats that matterhorn! PU

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Patricia - England (patricia@falmouth.ac.uk) on Thu, Apr 16, 98 at 12:00

What about the ubiquitous garden gnomes! Especially the ones with fishing rods that stand around a pool or sit on concrete toadstools. Euk!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pam - 9 (Greentoesy@aol.com) on Sun, Apr 19, 98 at 0:45

My favorite "he meant well" are the retirees around here that put in "desert" landscaping which consists mainly of white or pink rock yards and to top it off, wooden tulips or silk flowers planted in them! I've lived in the desert all my life and have never seen either of these growing in the wild....ever!

ps...the Matterhorn is too cool!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Carol B W-FL 9/10 (wallywump@earthlink.net) on Mon, Apr 20, 98 at 13:31

Plywood cutouts seem to be all the rage here in my town.One I have seen around is a life-size silhouette of a man leaning(on a tree,a lamp-post,etc.),painted black with a real bandana around his neck.The purpose of this appears to be making you do a double-take.Fat-bottomed country folk bent over and displaying their undies(polka dotted) for passers-by are also numerous.Florida is the land of weirdness-practically every other house in our suburban neighborhoods makes its own unique statement.I can't even begin to describe them all.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pamela Rothman - 6B-Long Island (mirror@li.net) on Wed, Apr 29, 98 at 22:19

My least favorite garden ornament in the plywood small boy watering the flowers. There's a length of yellow plastic in a strategic place so everyone can get the idea. I say if they find small boys watering their flowers they have no one to blame but themselves.

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RE: He Meant Well...Postcript

 Posted by: Carol B. - W FL-9/10 (wallywump@earthlink.net) on Sun, May 3, 98 at 9:32

I always wonder about the people who LIVE in these "decorated" houses.I usually imagine that they look like little garden gnomes.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Mary - 3 (fishuntrap@juno.com) on Thu, May 21, 98 at 0:06

What about those big metallic-glass balls that sit on elongated pyramids? I wonder if people are communicating with aliens. p.s. it is neat to look at the reflection in the balls, but don't look for one in my garden.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: j. Handel - usda 7 (jhandel@winthrop.org) on Thu, May 21, 98 at 10:18

HiFolks,

I wandered over, by accident, from the container and perennial forums. This forum is too cool! If I could make my own contribution... an old toilet, seat up, overflowing with various succulents and sedums and a wire dress dummy used as a topiary form. Jean

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: kate coe/Pas.9 (ncoe@pacbell.net) on Sun, May 24, 98 at 23:54

I'm especially fond of home-made topiaries--on the way to the airport in Los Angeles, some patient soul has cut out I LOVE U in his boxwood hedge and kept them growing for at least 12 years. It's sweet and stupid at the same time.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pam - 9 (Greentoesy@aol.com) on Sun, May 31, 98 at 23:12

UH OH! Don't be insulting the gazing balls now! HA! Someone actually stole mine Superbowl Sunday and boy was I hoppin' mad! I have since replaced it (sorry Mary ;-) ) and moved it to my backyard where only I can enjoy it....BTW mine sits in a large terra cotta flower pot and has a companion amber colored bowling ball sitting on the ground next to it...hubby's contribution.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Alia @)-)--- - 5b NW PA (alia@io.com) on Fri, Jun 12, 98 at 0:15

There's this house not to far from ours, on the way to the greenhouse. Apparently, the owners took a long look at their lawn and decided that, no, it wouldn't do. Enter the scariest piece of cheesy landscaping ever seen! They converted their lawn into a bleak and barren barkscape with a large number of closely spaced and...unusual evergreen shrub-like things. Some weep, some spiral, some arrange themselves in tiers, some bush out, and others creep. Still others look like frozen, freshly groomed, electrocuted poodles. My husband, usually oblivious to landscaping aesthetics, said it looked straight out of Dr. Suess!

The worst part, though, is that these works of creative genius ;) were placed way too close to each other and to the house, about fifteen deep in a short front yard. A large scalped tree is only 2' away from the foundation--in a few years, this landscaping is going to eat these people's house and home.

At least they'll have ample space for Christmas lights...;)

Alia

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Nancy (nancy@pilgrim.com) on Fri, Jun 12, 98 at 9:55

How about a house that has numerous wooden cut-outs of cartoonish cats that are lined up like soldiers, positioned to march out on the street backed up by a bright yellow diamond shaped sign attached to a pole that says "kittys at play"? This in a neighborhood where sophisticated lawns are designed by "landscape architects" and maintained with tweezers. The last laugh is on them - I love diversity, weirdness AND cats.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Nancy (nancy@pilgrim.com) on Mon, Jun 15, 98 at 8:51

Uh-oh...just drove by the "kitty house" and noticed the "kittys at play" sign was removed. They must have been caught by the sign police.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pidge - 6-7 (molyneau@bellatlantic.net) on Thu, Jun 18, 98 at 20:37

Gnomes and gazing balls really don't cut it for me--and gargoyles are a close second for disasters UNLESS there is only ONE, which can be kind of kinky cute. I do have a stone sleeping cat who is subtly placed so he/she is only part of a passing glance. I do like great hose guides of vrious materials--iron (beautifully rusted), wrought iron, even some plastic if it's grcefully shaped.....

Yet I gav my daughter-in-law a concrete planter in the shape of a pair of lips. I think she was floored but she hasn't trashed it yet!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Julie - zone 8 (jraney@gte.net) on Sat, Jun 27, 98 at 21:02

Those little concrete donkeys look so out of place here in the Northwest, yet I see them in people's yards all the time. We have one house not too far from us (but out of sight thank goodness),that must have every possible cheap garden structure made, all put in a small front yard. It has the cardboard people bent over, the plastic mama duck and three little ones, the dutch boy and girl plus windmill (painted plastic, mind you), donkey and cart,plastic cats, bunnies, a few disney characters, including the seven dwarfs. Signs that say cat crossing. large butterflies on the side of the house, and I've forgotten the rest(I'll try to look closely again the next time I drive by)I love the title of this thread, because it is so true. A dear little lady lives there, and her yard, I am sure, is her pride and joy.Still it would be extremely hard for me to live next door and have to look at it all the time.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: bernadette - 7 tx (bernadet@swconnect.net) on Mon, Jul 6, 98 at 0:37

Sweet and stupid says it all. Some of the stuff out there is just too weird, but you know someone loves it, and that makes me smile.

...what about the people(my mother-in-law) who paint their houses that kind of aquamarine glow-in-the-dark color...I hate it and love it at the same time. My grandfather painted EVERYTHING that color!!! My husbands' grandfather did too. Hubby said his grandfather could build a lean-to anything. He built pigeon coops out of any and everything...he even built drawers for his tools under the house, kind of like the bottom of the house was a huge tool chest!!! Don't ya just love it!!!

The matterhorn is love.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Natalie - 5-upstate NY (natdave@berk.com) on Wed, Jul 8, 98 at 7:03

I happened to drive by my old house, one we moved out of in February. The people who moved in did a great job at fixing up the HOUSE, but I almost cried when I saw the plastic butterflies attached to the house, the big plastic flower/windmill-thing in my beautiful garden, and the Garfield, Sylvester, and Tweety lawn ornaments. My flowers are their best EVER, and they had to be tainted with such icky stuff! I'm starting a new garden at a new house, but that was my first garden, and I feel so protective.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Karen H. - Zone 5 (Peacelog@aol.com) on Wed, Jul 8, 98 at 18:09

You all have named almost all of them....except my two biggest peeves (no offense to anyone who loves what I would instantly ban!)

In the "growing things" category: muffins and cupcakes made of some evergreen. Top prize to a driveway lined with them. Lifetime achievement award goes to the landscape in Massachusetts that has its entire manor-like front acreage full of them.

In the decorations category: wishing wells which are too large, too gawdy, too cutesy, too new, or in the wrong neighborhood. I admire 1 in every, oh, say, 200 that I've seen!

:-)

Karen

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Nancy - 06 (nancy@pilgrim.com) on Fri, Jul 10, 98 at 1:24

Massachusetts must be the "gum-drop" landscaping state. I pointed this out to a friend of mine a few years ago and she's never forgiven me. She can't stop thinking of green gum-drops every time she sees a pruned evergreen shrub.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Natalie - 5-upstate NY (natdave@berk.com) on Thu, Jul 16, 98 at 22:25

Could someone please explain to me what the meaning of those "Easter Egg Trees" is? I'd never seen one until I moved to the East Coast from Oregon. They're everywhere, and most "bloom" until late summer...

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Lisa - 6 (Diskie@email.msn.com) on Sun, Jul 19, 98 at 20:36

First of all, let me say that I have 600+ flowers in my front yard alone...my neighbor has been buying plants faster than you can imagine. She buys plants with the tiniest buds, and plants them in the wrong daylight. They die after a week or two. She has basically a bunch of sticks in her yard now. It looks ridiculous, especially having me for a neighbor.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Tally - 9 (tacalver@utmb.edu) on Thu, Jul 23, 98 at 16:02

The house on the corner has a "fence" made of concrete blocks stacked up, behind the wire cyclone fence, some of them are painted that lovely aquarium blue, some yellow, some plain, they seem to be trying to concrete the yard in piece by piece, lots of statues, swans, madonna, the black stable boy, gnomes, none of them match, one of this, one of that, one of the swans is painted blue, but a different blue, the shutters have blue spots & yellow stripes. The most interesting part is that the front concrete shrine is contraindicated by the wonderful lush tropical plants growing in pots in the back yard!! There are PLASTIC flowers in the front window boxes which are red by the way.

My favorite remains the woman who carefully cuts pink, blue & yellow egg cartons into "tulips" that she sticks onto the ends of her big yucca plants!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: D Eaves - 5 or 6 (ptolemyrex@hotmail.com) on Sun, Aug 2, 98 at 12:04

I have read each response....what a lot of grins I got....I'm still smiling. Just remember guys, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess some of us just "see" better than others

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: MaryL - 10 (jen@strato.net) on Wed, Aug 12, 98 at 19:00

I can't resist this topic. 1. Yucca (sp?) plants that are decorated with the cup part of egg cartons stuck on their thorny tips. They are supposed to look like flowers. Most people use pink and white, but some also use yellow. From a block away they still don't look like real flowers. 2. Hot pink flamingos, ugh!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Auntie R - 8 TX (RARM1973@aol.com) on Wed, Aug 12, 98 at 23:49

I have never understood cement geese with wardrobes of clothes and homeowners who dress them everyday. Now a nice bowling ball or two or six....that, I can understand.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Sally - 5 (defords@aol.com) on Sat, Aug 15, 98 at 1:47

Ellen, are you getting tired of e-mail on this topic yet?

Somebody mentioned toilets--my mom had THREE of them, but not by choice. My dad is a packrat, and well, he just couldn't pass up these perfectly good potties... ("They might come in handy some time!!!") ...and they sat in the yard for ever so long, and well...

When a toilet is planted with flowers, is the seat supposed to be left up or down? :~)

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Jimmy & Virginia Aull - 8b (vaginjim@eatel.net) on Sat, Aug 15, 98 at 17:50

On the way out of town one day we passed a white house with purple trim and a driveway painted (are you ready for this) purple and lined with plastic pink flamingos. Is this class or what? No flowers in the yard...I guess they must not be able to grow them so they use the pink flamingos for "COLOR"????? How's that for TACKY?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Wendi Maxwell (bmaxwell@pacbell.net) on Fri, Aug 21, 98 at 16:39

I can't believe none of you mentioned the classic retiree's strategy: concrete front yard covered with red or white rock, with gold painted pushmower abandoned strategically in the middle!

How about those folks who decorate their fences with abalone shells and coconut palm masks?!

Seriously folks, I have a classic garden monstrosity myself... Two original, CONCRETE life-sized pink flamingoes with rebar legs! I rather like them hanging out by the Japanese maples near the pond and fountain in the courtyard... They add a certain touch of whimsy, and being antique, people never know if you're serious or not!

I guess I come by it honestly. We grew up in an old farmhouse out in the hot dry barren country. My mom had a big rosebush that clambered over the front porch. I remember how proud she was one evening when a man pulled off the road, got out of his car, and congratulated her on her roses. He asked for a cutting to take home. Mom said sure, and led him up to get his cutting from the rosebush that grew all the magestic Woolworth's red plastic flowers!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pat in Maine - 4 (johndros@ainop.com) on Sat, Aug 22, 98 at 5:20

I have something you all need in your gardens! One day while standing in my neighbors yard talking flowers my husband comes down the road with something on the back of his truck. It's going in circles and is very large and rusty. Of course we all have our mouths open thinking what could he be thinking (he's always bringing junk home). He proudly...and I mean proudly gets out of the truck and tells me he has something really nice for my gardens. It was a commercial sized air duct from the roof of a large building. It was so old, rusted and real ugly. He proudly said it was for me and where did I want it. It is way back in my backyard...up for adoption! LOL

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: bryan - 5a (silver@ebtech.net) on Sun, Aug 23, 98 at 14:49

i have collected rock from all the places i was based at in the service. this year after 14 years in this place i have planted them in my garden plots. they are planted so that only 1/3 of the rocks show. the best part or best shape and colour being in view, if you peek under and around the plants. my family said, i did what? there is no plastic,concrete or rubber tires to show off. but rocks and and two old found benches covered with broken flower pots, rusty broken tools [some found and some of my own] , a bunch of rusty horse shoes, and any other chunks of rusty metal. so as it has been said beauty is in the eye of the collector. after 35 years of gardening, this year i show off the above so called trash instead only plants and flowers!!!!

bryan

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Janet Neese - 5 (neese@rnet.com) on Tue, Oct 13, 98 at 2:22

I am on the floor rolling here, my ribs are killing me *grin*. But I have to say that the thing I hate the most in all the world, is when people plant flowers in the backs of animals, and heads. This gives me the willies *LOL*. But I have to admit I have strange things in my garden too. Probably the strangest is two old water fountains. My husband brought them home from work. He sealed the drains, and we use them for bird baths. The little birds love them, they can get right down in the water, and not worry about drowning. I even have a birdhouse made out of a mailbox. One thing though, we have put some junk to use that otherwise would be taking up space in a landfill. *G*

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RE: Boxwood trucking

 Posted by: Sara - NC (shuggins@kyrus.com) on Fri, Oct 16, 98 at 16:22

My favorite topiary in WNC is the boxwood tractor trailer that makes it's way down the bank. Complete with reflectors and hubcaps it is right across from the furniture maker. The highlight of our fall leaf looking!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Barbara - 5 (bbible@huntcol.edu) on Thu, Oct 29, 98 at 12:00

This has been fun. My least enjoyable one is the little wooden fat lady bending over with her undies showing. I am scared to death this maybe what I look like from my neighbors viewpoint. I am very aware when I am bending over who may be watching and what I look like so I sit on the ground a lot.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: S.Cunningham (hgcunn@cei.net) on Fri, Oct 30, 98 at 1:38

I can top you all..I have a friend that is always trying to

do something to make me angry and to yell at him.So one day he put a mans small white enamel urinal in an apple tree right by my walk to the front door of our cabin,where all our gardens are.It was just the right height.Well, I put a beautiful 2 ft rex begonia in a pot in the urinal and the plant was so lush and thick,all you can see is the white at the bottom of the plant pot.I have had more compliments on the height and the position of the begonia,and no one has seen a it is a urinal yet!He was so disappointed!

His mom is in her late 80`s and she said tell him "next time he needed to use the restroom he could do it right outside where the urinal was!!!! I love them both,he and his mom.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Abby - 6 (abecker@bcse.nec.com) on Wed, Nov 11, 98 at 10:22

I know of two. One house with a LARGE front yard has several large, unpainted, concrete animals (deer, mule, sheep, etc). I thought I was crazy at first, but they must move them around at night because once in awhile, the darn critters are rearranged. Either that or....?

Other one was a goose dressed up like a biker, complete with black leather bra, fishnets, leather helmet, and a cigarette hanging out of it's beak.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Beverly - 5 mid mich (bevjim1@aol.com) on Thu, Nov 12, 98 at 15:54

When my husband and I were in northern Michigan this summer we went by a home that, I swear, had almost all of the above mentioned ( I insisted we stop the car because I was in disbelief)......probably 30 -50 yard ornaments in the front yard.........pink flamingos, owls, gnomes, the wooden boy peeing, the wooden woman bending over with the undies, a wooden man bending over next to the wooden lady -the man patting her behind, mondona in the half bathtub, the trees were covered with lots of flat plastic multi colored spinning windmills & butterflys, spikes of spinning plastic flowers and birds, chicks and peeps, deer, gazing ball, painted tires planted with annuals, oodles of more plastic yard ornaments, some kind of design with plastic buckets, signs like cat crossing, guard cat on duty, give a weed an inch and it will take a yard and more and more and more. We couldn't believe it.!!! - it was sensory overload of bad taste. My husband's comment was that the people at that house collected yard ornaments the way I collect plants. (can never have too many!)

.....beverly

ps.......this was just the front yard!!!

When we stopped to look, the people on the front porch waived hello......proud as punch. Each to their own, I guess.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Victoria - 4 (glnbrook@telenet.net) on Wed, Jan 20, 99 at 11:36

Down the road from me is a relatively new house, not my style but okay, and the grounds have been kept well-tended, with trees added etc.; the people are not gardeners. Last summer they decided to put up a fence along the road on the front lawn, so they went out and bought those industrial/institutional-looking stone-like pre-fab blocks meant for retaining walls, and stacked them in a row for a fence! This has to be the winner for the most money spent on the most god-awful atrocity; there's a truck-load of the stuff there.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Shannon - 6 (SRob101959@aol.com) on Wed, Jan 20, 99 at 13:18

This is the funniest stuff I have read in a long time. Nothing can beat the Matterhorn or the fozen, electricuted poodles but near our neighborhood we have a giant stone pelican (This is Philadelphia mind you and I dont believe we have alot of pelicans around )Its sitting in a lovely yard of white stone watching over a white spray painted tire full of more white stones. Perhaps we will be treated to some silk flowers someday. There is also a church with 2 yew bushes nearby cut to look like big green crosses at the entrance. Talk about tacky!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Bobbi - 5 (bjk1@concentric.net) on Thu, Jul 8, 99 at 20:43

This IS too funny! Those yards with every knick-knack ever made remind me of the old cheesy putt-putt golf courses. And what about the Christmas yard displays with objects made of plastic, wood, metal and/or lights? I'm talking not just a manger scene or Santa display (which I'm sure is fine with lots of folks) but a conglomeration of santas, reindeer, angels, carolers, etc.

Now I need to say I really do find it amusing but very sweet at the same time. I am thankful for these kinds of differences. They make the world a more interesting place. Just don't mind if I quietly snicker from time to time. I'm sure my taste dosen't agree with everyone either.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: lotuslily - 7 NY (kahana@sprintmail.com) on Sat, Jul 10, 99 at 2:35

Hi, what a laugh, thanks. I thought the strangest thing I had ever seen was a herd of lifesize plastic resin deer, which I thought were real at first glance when walking past, and got startled, because we aren't rural enough for deer to be grazing in front of your house. Then just the other day,

I noticed these strange clumpy plaster & wire things, painted bright yellow and blue, which I think are some sort of sports figures or monsters, all over someone's frontlawn, they seem to be in some sort of death struggle,

near where I live. I almost had a car accident when I first saw them. This is the most original one I've seen. I have been thinking of getting a peeing cupid birdbath, but it will be out of sight from all, in my hummingbird garden. And, I like the kitties crossing the lawn, that's funny. So far, I have only minimal birdbaths and feeders, one of my own sculptures on the patio, trellis', and a victorian framed looking glass which is lovely to look in. Nothing ever goes in front of the house though, but now that it's been mentioned maybe I'll put a cat in front in the heather garden, just to annoy the neighbors! One of my neighbors has a graveyard on their front lawn every halloween, and someone near the blue and yellow monsters has every an entire lawn xmas display that makes las vegas look puny, with a train ride for all the neighbors and a live santa is there too!!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Becky B - 5 (alco@worthlink.net) on Sun, Jul 11, 99 at 0:36

Our youth group at church needed to raise money for their trip to New Hampshire where they teach Bible School for 1 week.

To raise money, they purchased pink flamingos. For $5 we could have this lovely bird placed in someones yard for 1 week. If they wanted it removed- they paid $5 along with the address they wanted it moved to.

When our minister went on vacation for a week, all the flamingos moved to their front yard. There was a flock of 20+ birds grazing in their front yard when they returned. It was hilarious driving by their house that week.LOL

Becky B

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Chris Uellner - 5/Mass (cuellner@hotmail.com) on Mon, Jul 12, 99 at 21:18

A friend of mine must have thought I needed a little tacky in my yard, because one day at Christmas Tree Shop, he bought me a pink flamingo (wooden, with the neck made of a strip of flat black metal). I took one look at it and thought "oh, what the h*ll", and stuck it in the lawn. I actually kinda like it now. Can the gazing ball and the gnomes be far behind?.............

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Taryn - 6 S. Ontario (bzoombuddy@yahoo.com) on Tue, Jul 13, 99 at 0:43

I moved a year & a half ago, but in my old town, just west of Toronto, I had your typical, very nosy older lady & her husband for a "cross the street" neighbor. She was the type who put a concrete block in the middle of her driveway, so no one would turn around in it.

Well, she had this concrete gnome & gnomette that she had hand-painted, & I guess some of the neighborhood kids took them to get at her. She must of called the cops, as the next "Crimewatch" column in our local newspaper said that there were a missing gnome couple, coloured red & yellow, etc, & anyone with any information should call this crimewatch number. We had never laughed so hard..

Two days later, we were informed (by the neighbor) that the gnomes had been returned to her front yard, & not used to buy drugs after all... She meant well, still does, & it still makes me laugh... Taryn :)

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Rhonda - TN (rhondagrace@hotmail.com) on Thu, Jul 15, 99 at 0:09

My favorite was one day driving by a house and seeing a toilet converted into a planter. In the winter Santa sits and waves to the people passing by.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Zeigler - 5 (jzeig104@inxpress.com) on Sat, Jul 24, 99 at 15:20

ha!! the one from beverly on their trip to northern michigan had me rolling on the floor!! that was great! my favorite around here is the 6 ft, 4 ft, and 2 ft bright orange plastic monarch butterflies on the sweet little old lady's totally white ranch house thats about 25 ft long altogether! there are the other assorted madonna's, globes,small skunks with chains in between them--(i really must check this one out further--it must have some meaning). but the best part is that the monarchs look like they have swooped down from outer space into this little disneyland and are going to take the house and the whole works with them!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Connie - 4 (tglash@athenet.net) on Fri, Aug 27, 99 at 6:24

Recently saw in another town about 2 hours from here a pair of toilets planted with half dead petunias and on the raised lids were "HIS" and "HERS" handlettered in poor handwriting. Also saw a few years ago the most lush, full of bloom hydrangea that apparantly wasn't colorful enough. Instead of white blossoms, this hydrangeas flowers were each individually spray painted a different color. Yuck!!!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Chris - 6 (GUSOOME@AOL.COM) on Fri, Sep 3, 99 at 9:37

I rode past a house in New Jersey where the driveway is lined with old carousel horses. Different

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: lynne - OHIO-zone 5 (rays@bright.net) on Sat, Sep 18, 99 at 21:25

On the main street of our town, in a high traffic area, a resident has a lovely and very lush tree in his front yard. Quite ordinary looking all summer, but come fall, when the tree sheds its leaves, all the branches are laden with wired-on plastic fruit that he has acquired at garage sales.

Possibly the tree could be a maple-"carmen miranda"?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Richard....AKA..Ole - zone 5 (richard@reliable-net.net) on Sat, Sep 18, 99 at 22:22

Maybe I'm Krazy...........

But I have fun.

I built this Wonderful Fountain that Really irritates

the Wife.

I made use of an old Toilet at the head of the Pond

and a small submergible pump that Flushes every

fifteen minutes.

Waiting for the next great Idea.

Richard

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Pat - 8 NW (patty_m_hill@hotmail.com) on Thu, Nov 11, 99 at 3:17

We have a house in our neighborhood much like that house in northern Michigin. I think there otta be a state law or good neighbor clause or SOMETHING...the number of lawn ornaments MUST NOT be allowed to outnumber the number of plants.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: David Freeburg - WA (Davidfreeburg@hotmail.com) on Sun, Feb 27, 00 at 17:48

the guy up the street has a yard about 25 by 25 feet, but in it he has managed to cram a dozen totem poles, a 10 ft. tall windmill, and a 15 ft. tall cross lit up with christmas lights that he plugs in every night, no matter what the season.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Cathtleen - 9 (Cattknap@aol.com) on Thu, Mar 2, 00 at 6:06

You all are toooo funny - what a riot to read about all the tacky yards all over the U.S.! So sick of all those plywood painted signs planted everywhere saying all kinds of profound things like "Bees Welcome Here" and "Grandma's Garden".....the country look gone stupid. I think the time is ripe for some tongue-in-cheek, David Letterman style garden signs - Whadda you think?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Skeeter - 6B - PA (skeeterdmg@aol.com) on Fri, Mar 3, 00 at 9:36

Oh....My sides hurt I'm laughing so hard.

My favorite is the MILLIONS of plastic Easter eggs that people hang from their bare trees every year.

Here is a link that might be useful: My Home Page

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Tracy - 5 (TNTmade@aol.com) on Sat, Mar 18, 00 at 20:34

A quick note on the status of the gazing ball. Saw a few of them at this year's Philadelphia Flower Show, half submerged in a water display. Very different, got lots of attention and a blue ribbon. Can a toilet revolution be far behind?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Helga - 4 (Mintgirl@usa.net) on Sat, Mar 18, 00 at 22:04

A long time ago as I lived in Seattle there was this home with a odd landscape design in my neighborhood. It consisted of a concrete frontlawn which was painted green and had small round holes with rosebushes growing out of it.

I have never seen anything as weird like this concrete lawn again!

Living now in Alaska I did notice two homes with those exotic pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments. They seem to pop up everywhere regardless of location.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Debbie G - Zone 5-Chicago (dandy_lion54@hotmail.com) on Sun, Mar 26, 00 at 18:00

I have mentioned this in other forums, but I hate those white plastic swans. When we are out driving, we can always tell when we are getting closer to a K-Mart because we see more and more swans on people's porches and up their steps.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Christie - 6 (bdheaton13@excite.com) on Fri, Mar 31, 00 at 14:51

Our favorite is a little house downtown with a collection of garage sale yard ornaments. In the center of their yard they made good use of a small tree that died. They use it to display their colored glass bottle collection. There must be a hundred of those things in all colors, one on every branch. Now that's recycling!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Amy - 10 (houghtons1999@yahoo.com) on Sun, Apr 2, 00 at 3:58

Oh my goodness, this is funny!!! I've been giggling for the past 20 minutes. Poor DH is TRYING to sleep. I have to add mine. These border on not funny, just very shocking.

The people on the block behind us have a tree that they mutalated themselves. I think they were going for the chainsaw sculpture look, it's a big branchless stump about 8 ft. tall in the shape of a Boxer (the type of dog). It's spray-painted fire engine red, with spray-painted bulging white eyes. It's ears and front legs are made of broken off branches apparently nailed or glued on. Oh, it's huge and it's quite a sight.

Another yard in our town, It's about 12 ft. by 15 ft., and it's been taken over by about 5 Little Tykes jungle gym type toys. I don't think these kids can actually play on the toys. They are jammed into this yard very tightly.

And finally you gotta love this, a hot tub, that is supposed to be the kind that you build a deck around to hide the pipes etc., sitting in the front yard, on the DIRT. They use it too.

It definitely takes all kinds.

Now, as I hide under a rock after admitting about the odd people of my town...

Happy planting

Amy

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Doris - 8 (muff55@juno.com) on Tue, Apr 11, 00 at 7:31

I just had a good cry: tears of joy over the matterhorn created with love; tears of sorrow over the toilet fountain created in spite; tears of laughter over all the "good stuff" appearing all over.

Has nobody noticed the "creative" use of tires?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Kevin - 5-6 (Kevin2396@yahoo.com) on Wed, Apr 19, 00 at 16:23

My neighbor decided to plant a garden bed (literally) He has a double size old iron bed in the middle of his yard that sits along side the toilet, and the rest of the before mentioned garden decorations.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Alli - 9 (ahill71@excite.com) on Wed, Apr 19, 00 at 20:45

garden gnomes...need I say more?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Nancy - 5or6? (bavington@webtv.net) on Wed, Apr 26, 00 at 15:17

I read this the other night and laughed myself silly! Now I have something to add that I had forgotton about until we went for ice cream last night and passed this house. In the yard tied up to a tree was a pony size horse made out of, well, I don't know what it is made out of. Everyday, it is in a new location somewhere in the yard! It is black with a white mane and tail. Its kinda cute!

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Jill (KLLAYER@MSN.com) on Sat, Aug 12, 00 at 0:09

I just received from my 11 year old son, a concrete

fire hydrant.......its to put in my garden, and also

as a "gift" for my miniture pincher. To be honest (i

know he won't be reading this), I was pretty horrified,

but like Bernadette said, it was given out of love. He

knows I love to garden, and love my little dog-so I guess

his 'gift' made sense to him. Thank God, the dog doesn't

use it like he would a real hydrent. He also supplied

the red and yellow paint to paint it, but I think I talked

him out of that ideal. Now, to just find a place to put it.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Nell - 6 (nmbenton@aol.com) on Sun, Nov 5, 00 at 19:02

A chidren's charity in Washington DC creates these installations that travel around to various downtown locations. One was a life size dinosaur painted all different colors and one was a mock Washington Monument about 12 feet tall decorated by the children. They are cute as a button and you just have to stop and study the details. Horrendous in theory but wonderfully executed.

Nell

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Zanne - Eastern KY(6-7ish) (Zannedjinmonet@aol.com) on Mon, Feb 12, 01 at 0:31

The yard in FL that I saw every day on the way to work with dozens of pink flamingos dressed for each season/sport event/political event... The "tire pyramids" painted and "planted" with bottles/toys of every color... The yards that looked like a grade school drama stage with wooden trees, people, cats, ducks, the whole farmyard... The cheep "windchime yard" that could double as the security system (not much wind, ever, for nine months out of the year)... Now, here in KY, the "target practice" lawns. The items in the yard are there to be shot at,( birds, deer, etc.), and obviously have been...alot...

I love the things people come up with. :)

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Becky 6 (bbcjraj@geocities.com) on Wed, Apr 11, 01 at 21:36

How about a concrete sea serpent about 3 ft. high in the middle of a rock garden with evergreen shrubs. This person's front yard has a steep slope which they mulched with rocks and have some scrubby brush plants. The sea serpent fills up almost half of the yard. A 3 ft. high sea monster head comes up near the steps. A little further down is the humped middle piece of the sea serpent and then over to the edge of the yard the tail emerges out of the rocks. I guess I could say that it does look realistic - as realistic as sea serpent pictures usually look!

PS We arent even near the ocean.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: karin (karin.bugge@latimes.com) on Thu, Apr 12, 01 at 11:51

How about a Ralph's shopping cart used as a planter.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: BerkshirePhyl z5a MA (My Page) on Mon, Apr 16, 01 at 15:44

A friend asked me to come over to the house her son and his new wife just bought to sort out a badly overgrown perennial bed. He was so proud of this house, and I could see he had been working hard at landscaping. Right in the middle of the front yard was a very large, perfectly round flower bed with concentric circles of different annuals. The crowning touch was the thoroughly shot up, life size, plastic target deer standing in the exact center of this bull's eye flower bed.

An homage to the fine art of deer hunting? or a warning to any deer who'd dare to nibble on the flowers? Hard to tell.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Meghane 7b NC (My Page) on Sat, Apr 21, 01 at 14:33

One of the yards I drive by all the time on the way to both work and school had a whole flock of realistic pink flamingos for a while. Must have had about 50 of them. It made me smile, which isn't easy for me so early in the morning. I guess the neighbors found it tacky or something, because they aren't there now.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: plants4all 7 (My Page) on Sun, Apr 22, 01 at 16:45

We can't forget the old tractor tires place on their sides and painted white. Here in Arkansas another unique thing

being done is someone will take an old iron bed frame and

paint it white then till up where the mattress should be and

plant- you guessed it bedding plants. It always seems to have a sign that says "my bedding plants". My oh my.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: paula ga (paula_brown_@hotmail.com) on Mon, Apr 23, 01 at 1:47

lmao at these posts, although i DO have to admit, i have a gazing ball, i think, if you have the right kind and place them right, they are real pretty. I only have ONE tho. I also have several small (1/2 inch tall) gargoyles a couple of real looking frogs and a little owl. I have a (mostly) fern garden and these are all hidden in amoungst the ferns and such so you have to actually LOOK to see them.... I dont have anything big, and i dont find these smaller ones tacky looking...

but like someone said earlier, to each his own!!!

Paula

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Duffy zone 5 Pa. (My Page) on Wed, Apr 25, 01 at 11:42

My five year old picked out a birthday present for me last spring, one of those plastic frogs with a motion detector in it so it will "ribbit, ribbit" at you as you walk past. Man, I hate it! But, of course, I can't let her know that, so I pretend it scares me every time, just to make her laugh but I'm also cursing it under my breath! Actually, DADDY is the one who paid for it, so I'm much more vocal complaining to him. So every time I see something in a yard I think is really tacky, I just hope it's a present from a loved child, and that they wouldn't REALLY want that in their yard otherwise.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Jane_in_IL5 Central IL, z5 (My Page) on Thu, May 24, 01 at 18:08

Does it count as being "odd" or "crazy" if I have JUST ONE of the aforementioned atrocities?? I ripped out a huge old shrub and was left with a sinkhole that I kept filling and it kept sinking. So I drug grandma's old white painted tire with the edge cut into neat points, out of the shed and put it to good use over the sinkhole. Has pink and yellow daisies in it and I'm not worried about the sinkhole, I just keep adding dirt for the daisies.

But now I'm afraid people on the "Favorites Forum" are talking about me. What can I do to get back in good standing?

PS - if you ever see a plastic animal in my yard, call the funny farm!! I'll go willingly!!

Jane in IL

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Miriam (DJohn31548@aol.com) on Wed, Jun 6, 01 at 23:22

I have a gazing ball- a gift from a dear one- which I had mixed feelings about until the day when a little neighbor about four years old "escaped" to our yard. As she came around the corner she spied the ball and stopped dead. The "00000h" she uttered was full of wonder and amazement.

I began to view the ball in a different light.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Atara 3b MB (My Page) on Fri, Jun 8, 01 at 13:27

I don't really like lawn/garden decorations, with the exceptions of things like trellises and the like. We have a small collection of geese and flamingos that belonged to the previous owner, but those are safely hidden away. Our neighbors (an elderly couple) have a slew of ornaments, but most of them are in the backyard.

Too bad our kitchen window overlooks their back yard...

The husband, however did have one specific lawn ornament that he wanted. And since it was sort of an inside joke between us (and I thought we'd never find one), I said, "Fine. If you can find one that isn't too cheesy, you can have a concrete skunk."

He found one.

I've actually gotten a few comlpiments on it. It's a very well-done concrete skunk, as far as those things go. In a year or so the feather reed grass should hide it well, though.

I hate gnomes, but my contribution to this discussion is in the link below...

Here is a link that might be useful: Scariest. Gnome. Ever. (!)

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Ooojenn z4MN (My Page) on Sat, Jun 9, 01 at 20:39

Oh, that is sooo hideous! My daughter came in to see what I was laughing so hard over.

I think most of us have some little lapse of taste somewhere, either inside our homes, or out. I'm really not the garden sculpture type, I just have a couple unobtrusive bird-baths BUT, hidden in the shrubbery (you have to know it's there to find it) is a giant concrete realistically-painted TOAD, maybe 2 and a half feet long. My kids love it. I've really no idea why I bought it; I didn't even have kids at the time.

One of my favorites bizzare yards is near some friends in Tampa. They've created giant spider webs out of string or rope. These webs hang from all the trees in their front yard, & even attach to the house. Giant artificial spiders haunt the webs & tree branches. I just love seeing people's tacky wierd creations-- of course that's easy for me to say because I live in the country & only have my own turf outside my windows.

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Timeout 8b-ALA (jeanneb00@home.com) on Sat, Jun 9, 01 at 21:44

I remember about 5 years ago all the rage among the college kids was to "kidnap" these lawn ornaments. The funniest was a plastic goose taken from a house in Iowa. A couple of weeks after the disappearance the couple received an anonymous letter with a picture of the goose at the Grand Canyon. Then came pics of the goose at the Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Bldg, etc. That goose went to the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, Wall of China...all over the world. And every time a photo was mailed to the family who lived in the house. The photo was always accompanied by some funny pun. It was hysterical!

It became kind of a "chain letter". Whoever had the goose, once they'd sent a pic to the family, had to find another person going somewhere the goose had not visited. That person got the goose, a list of locations visited and the family's address. I can't remember where I read the reports, but they were printed regularly for a couple of years. This apparently happened to lots of lawn ornaments, but somehow I got on the trail of that goose and always looked forward to the lates report on his travels. He finally ended up back home. What fun!

Does anyone else remember this?

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RE: He Meant Well...

 Posted by: Sadie_z5 z5 OH (My Page) on Tue, Jun 12, 01 at 16:14

I have to admit this is one of the best topics I've seen in a long time. I am reminded of a story about my neighbor...

My neighbor was a young man who lived alone and was *very* proud of his lawn (and yes, it was beautiful). He was so obsessive that we have seen him mowing at night, on his hands and knees with a magnifying glass, etc. We got a big kick out of him.

He got married, and decided to rent the house to two of his friends and move into his wife's home. The friends were intelligent and well traveled, but didn't have a clue about plants or lawns. It wasn't long before they had a massive grub problem, and brown patches from over-fertilizing.

These guys decided to try and remedy the problem by literally flooding the yard via a sprinkler that ran day and night. Imagine the look on the owner's face when he dropped by for a visit to find the yard brown, ripped up and under an inch of water!!

The house has since been sold and the new neighbors have fixed up the lawn, but I miss the good old days watching those well meaning, but garden illiterate young men.