"between a handgun and a nuke"?
This one will make you happy too if you remember "If I had a hammer".
Use a tweezer and take one pill bug at a time from the fig roots, place it on an anvil and hit it hard with a hammer.

What growing medium are you using?

Right now my area, it is those June Bugs that are eating the leaves of some of my fig trees during the night. Those bugs can literally strip all of the leaves off of a fig tree just like a locust plague.

Dan

Get the granulated bug insecticide that is safe for gardens. Make sure it kills pill bugs (I think its Bug-Getta or something like that). I think Corys has one. I use it in the vegetable garden. The pill bugs are murder on my new veggies, melons and strawberries.

Diatomaceous Earth. It cuts them up bad and causes them to dry out. It's nice revenge and is plant/people/pet safe.

Dan
I spray a squirt of "Bug-Be-Gone" on individual June Bugs on a leave and in a minute or so they fall off like stone. I save 50% on spray because I always see them two by two piggybacking.

ottawan,

I only see those June bugs at night as they go back into the grass/soil during the day. After eating their fill on fig leaves....they assume the piggyback and have sex. Right now it is like one big bug orgy/party going on in my backyard!! The blackbirds in my area have caught on to this natural cycle and gather under my fig trees in the early morning to eat the bugs as they try to bury themselves. Right now is the only time I LOVE to see birds anywhere near my fig trees.

Dan