Well said!!!
I agree completely with everything you said! So... Thanks for that!

I lurk a lot more that I post for this very reason. I do love everything I read, I have been both entertained and educated. What could be better that that?

Some forums do seem to be a little more "Clicky" than others. Maybe people just feel comfortable responding to people they have known for a while.

Thanks again!

I don't think you should take anything personal on a forum....people don't even know you...this forum may be the exception because a few of us actually do KNOW others.....unless someone attacks you personally though I would not let anything get to you. I know that when I post I dont always get a response either...but I just never really thought about it. I guess I could see where it might hurt feelings ....kind of like being in a room and no one speaking to you.....I think sometimes people just don't see a need to respond...although a simple thanks is always good...but that does not even happen in real life all the time. People get busy and sometimes a response is too much to think about....but thank you for bringing this to my attention...I never thought about it before....but I will be more mindful of it from now on.

Interesting topic!

I'm on the forum at least 3 times a day (yes, an addict) and read just about every post. I couldn't possibly respond to each one. If, however, anyone has felt slighted by my lack of a comment I am truly sorry. I do experience it on some other boards and understand it can be frustrating. I honestly don't think most people mean to slight anyone. I try to respond to all new posters and if I see a message that hasn't received a follow-up I try to make one.

Having said that though, I think many folks respond to people, not to ideas. You might nod and mentally agree with an idea, but it's the person you respond to. So, how do you make yourself more of a person?

I think one thing that will help people respond to you quickly and easily is if you post a name. Really it doesn't even have to be your real name if you don't want to use it, but a name makes you a person. And its easier to type! I'm not sure that to many people "Solstice98" has an identity and a personality, but I think "Kate" probably does - at least to the frequent visitors or others who have been around here since 2001 like I have. If you were to go back and look, you would see that I almost always sign my posts, even if I have multiple messages under the same topic heading! I do it automatically but it's probably a forum version of saying "I'm here!!! It's ME!!!" lol. I do the same thing when I call someone: "Hi, this is Kate". I even do it when I'm calling family members. ("Yeah" they always say "I know it's you.")

Also, if you have a long forum name you make it harder for someone to respond to you personally. "Imagardener2" is a clever name - and I know you recently chose it - but maybe if you signed yourself as "Ima" at the end of your message you would get more specific responses. I'm just guessing, of course, but the interaction on the forums is fascinating to me and I have thought about it quite a bit. On this forum I know people and they know me. On the quilting forum I'm a relative newcomer (not quite a year) and although I'm part of the group, it's not the same. Others on that forum get together for a quilting weekend at least once a year and have formed real friendships. They are nice to me, but I'm just somebody who posts there. And on the Kitchen Table forum I either get no response or a negative one, so I rarely post there! This Florida forum remains my real on-line community. I hate to think you or anyone is feeling left out, but I'm sure it happens all the time. Your comments will make me more aware of how I respond to posts.

Kate
("I'm here!!! It's ME!!!")

Thanks to all (scott, trini and Kate) who posted a response.
So nice. And yes trini you said it: like being in a room and no one talks to you.

It can be kind a clicky here but not a bad way, just people talk to people they know (of course).

Kate you are one of the friendliest. My observation was a general one. I really feel it most when I wander over to other forums that have a dedicated group and aren't as open armed as here.
But still it happens here and there really isn't a solution. Like you said not every posting can be responded to.

It seems quiet...subdued on the forum lately. Probably the cold but perhaps the economy.

Wishing everyone warmer and greener days ahead.

Denise

Denise, I am so sorry that people do not always respond and yes, it does feel like you are at a party or group and no matter how hard you attempt to join a conversation you are totally ignored. I have felt that way myself lately, but my feelings have been on the surface for about two years now and more so the past three months. It hurts when you respond to a post with others and the poster mentions everyone by name and gives them a response and ignores you as if you never posted. I generally attempt to respond to posts where no one has posted a response, but like I said I have not been in the proper frame of mind lately to respond much to anyone. I am happy to say that I am slowly returning to my normal self and will be responding a lot more and if I get ignored I will just post louder. *grin* I have lots of knowledge, resources to acquire information and I am a researcher and writer and photographer and well you name it I usually have done it.

Kate is a great one for posting and responding. She is a warm and kind hearted person who likes gardening and sharing her garden with people. There are wonderful people here and attending plant swaps and such helps to incorporate you more into the group as people get to put a face to a name. HEY - maybe that is an idea - maybe I will start a post where we post our pictures and a wee bit about ourselves. I know we are supposed to do that on the member page but sometimes people do not always list anything. Maybe if we did a picture and listed our location such as Orlando, Boca Raton, Sarasota, etc then the local gardeners could plan a get together to meet one another and we could go from there.

By the way, everyone, I AM BACK and full of energy most of the time and the stress is running away more and more everyday. I have not felt this relaxed in a long time and I am feeling a lot more upbeat and carefree. Look out garden web and buddies- I am back and ready to garden and party.

DonÂt allow lack of response to prevent you from posting. You will eventually get responses and you will wonder why you ever felt left out.

Linda - the mad photographer gardener who wears the safari hat with mouse ears.

"...post louder..." - I love that! LOL

I am glad that you got a giggle out of that Kate. I figured it is the same as if you were in a loud crowded room and people were ignoring you that if you talk louder or evem shout then you get their attention. *L* Linda

Hey, don't forget, some of us don't get to lurk as often as we'd like. So, older posts get pushed to the back pages. If you're like me, it's hard to remember where and what I've posted, and sometimes I even forget to go look at my old posts to see if anyone has answered MY questions.

We're not ALL (meaning: "Not me, not me!") ignoring you.

Half the time, SOME OF US (meaning: "Me! MEEEEEEE!") can't remember what we're doing here.

And, I'll finish up by saying I am ever so thankful that all of you take the time to post any thing and every thing here at GW. I feel it's because of all of you that I come away from this site a better and smarter person. :-)

Ima or Denise.
Personally I forget to sign my name and it isnt anything personal. Well if being lazy is personal then maybe so LOL.
I also don't have time to respond to everyone nor would everyone want to hear what I have to say for that matter but I know what you mean and am sure I too have taken over a few posts. Some forums are HORRIBLE about that.
I use to go to one forum that the same two individuals would always be the first to answer and then the conversation became a discussion with THEM and my question went out the window. There are also a few who are darn right mean. I hate to say it but the more organic and earthy ones are so opinionated they get really UGLY because they all think THEY are RIGHT and I just sign out. This forum and garden junk seem to be the friendliest in my opinion.
Regarding your not getting a response.
I posted on the gallery side of Trash to Treasures and i think it has been there several months with no response. Also I finally responded to some poor sole on Farm and Garden about his duck because no one had answered him,,,,it was from JULY!!!!!!
The other thing is that our minds wander,,,, some more than others and I feel that often you will see some of that personality in a post. Like right now I am rambling and off topic and if we were here in person i would ramble and get off topic too!Wait, is that a heron outside????LOL
What I really hate is when someone answers with,,,
i don't have an answer but I'm sure someone else can help you. Well, why did you write?HMMMMMM
I Love everyones garden names and imagine what that person must be like and why they chose that name.Afterall,we don't get to choose our birth name but in this forum we get to choose our own name.How cool is that??????
But, to those enquiring minds who want to know ,sign me
Tanya

I think you have to have a pretty thick skin to post on forums - period .
It is so easy to feel slighted when that was never the poster's intent .
One of the greatest warm fuzzies is to see one of your old posts return .
It's natural to want to feel acknowledged - to have our efforts confirmed .
Guess we're all just human here !
Here's to more warm fuzzies and pats on the back for all - Mary

Nativemel = Melissa

Hey Goldenpond, sometimes I post that "I don't have an answer, but I'm sure someone else can help you" just to bump the old posts back up to the top and hopefully garner some new interest in them, but I don't know that I've ever done that on this website.

Native mel,,and here I thought you were Melvin!
Mary I agree about thick skin but it is nice to make friends which I feel blessed to have done on this forum.
I also think Denise, that sometimes because we get so MANY posters that some posst go virtually unnoticed. Check out some other forms and you will see the same post hang around forever!

Ima, I've often thought the same thing. But I've learned to let it go. I know how busy I am, and maybe have done the same thing. And of course, my memory isn't what it once was, so I might have even forgot.

well thanks everyone (you know who you are) for your nice posts. I forgot to check the box so I don't know the responses are here until I look.

the mood has passed and I am less sensitive now. tomorrow? can't say. :-)

Denise

Glad to hear it. Just remember that people on forums don't really know you....so its not personal :-)

Oh gosh, oh dear, is Denise thinking bad of me...oh dear here I am a friend of hers (At least I THINK I AM) and I didn't answer her post or say hello, or even wave until today...PHEW....I'm here girlfriend!!!! Whatcha need??

Denise, darlin', I hear you about how important it is to not take it 'personal'! I have had my feelings hurt and have lost friends here because some people do not write like they think or re-read before they hit the submit button. Lots of times I just lurk because I 'don't want to fan a flame' or just think people get Wayyyyy too dramatic. And (((((LINDA))))) Good to see you my sweets! See how my mind wanders?

Anywho, there have been times I have responded just to get things off my chest, then I don't hit the submit button, I just feel better for speaking my mind...to myself! lol

In the meantime, been thinking of you Denise. My camera is dying and I cannot afford to get it fixed, but i do believe one of the Dr. Carolyn seeds from you last When-vember is fruiting!! YAY!! I thought I lost all the seedlings, but this one cherry, the one under the pergola NOID with large cherry fruit is ripening yellow to white! YAY YAY can you say YAY??? It was a plant in an old peat pot. I only used peat pots back in fall when I first started seeds (mostly YOURS) so I am Hip-Hop Happy to have these guys growing, especially after losing so many to frost. Love ya babe and all you other sweet people who brighten my gardening life.