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pllove_gw

Wishing for help.....

pllove
18 years ago

I'm tired in body and mind...and have myself in a bind!I sure could use some companionship and help in getting a few things cleaned up around here. I have so many plants that need to be dug up and many to be potted up and many to be nursed and many given away... I wish I could find several people to come and play...for a couple of hours on any given day. I don't even want to talk about the inside of my house...I feel like a louse....

Comments (41)

  • nebancsvirag
    18 years ago

    Seems like you are a wee bit overwhelmed.
    Now do like i say,
    go, get a glass of cool sherry or beer or long island ice tea.
    Go sit down under the shade of the old oak.
    put your feet up.
    sip a bit of sherry or whatever.

    contemplate the tone of the birds singing their hearts out to you.

    It is getting a little better,,, yes??

    See,
    It works everytime.

    Just keep happy thoughts, and come ,visit when you can,
    we are always here.

    irene

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Irene, Thank you,for your kind words. I just realized you are going thru a rough time,yourself....ROUGH is Rough ! Hope all is going better for you. I guess we will all, make it....one way or the other. Peggy

  • solstice98
    18 years ago

    I received this as an email from a friend today and thought this was a good place to share it. We do all go through bad, bad times and turning to friends is so necessary to get us through them. I've just come through one of the roughest 18 months of my life and often turned to the GardenWeb to take my mind off my problems. Along with job problems, a surgery, my mothers surgery, and a couple other family crisis, 6 months ago I lost my best friend to brain cancer and I miss her everyday - she was my friend, my next door neighbor, my Survivor watcher, my vodka sharer, and my gardening buddy - but this message made me realize I have many people to turn to - and all are special. And I appreciate each of them for the spot they fill in my life.

    I don't often share problems on this web - even talking about it here makes me feel a little self-indulgent - but the comfort this forum brings to me can't be overstated. Even in the worst of times I've been able to lose myself in the tales of plants and bugs and what mix is best for potting soil. This community of gardeners is the best therapy there is!

    Kate
    (scroll down for the message on friendship)

    ***************************
    RE: FRIENDSHIP

    When I was little, I used to believe
    in the concept of one best friend,
    and then I started to become a woman.
    And then I found out that if you allow your heart
    to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.

    One friend is needed when you're
    going through things with your man.

    Another friend is needed when you're
    going through things with your mom.

    Another when you want to shop,
    share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

    One friend will say let's pray together, another
    let's cry together, another let's fight together,
    another let's walk away together.

    One friend will meet your spiritual
    need, another your shoe fetish, another
    your love for movies, another will be with
    you in your season of confusion,another will be
    your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.

    But whatever their assignment in your life,
    on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day,
    or whenever you need them to meet you with their gym
    shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from
    making a complete fool of yourself ... those are your best friends.

    It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
    but for many it's wrapped up in several...
    one from 7th grade, one from high school, several
    from the college years, a couple from old jobs,
    several from church, on some days your mother,
    on some days your neighbor, on others your sisters,
    and on some days your daughters.

  • nebancsvirag
    18 years ago

    That so lovely solstice98
    How true, we all hit a rough patch once in a while, it is how we deal with it that seems to make a difference.
    Reminds me of the first driving lessons in New yorks icy winter.

    DONT slam your foot on the break, just stir into the skid.

    Believe me, i am stirring like crazy, and no breaks.

    You all keep a smile on your face, and a song in your heart,
    irene

  • solstice98
    18 years ago

    Irene, I love that! I learned to drive in North Dakota so I understand exactly what you mean.

    From now on, if I'm going through something tough and someone asks me how I'm doing, I'm going to tell them I'm just "steering into the skid"!

    My mother - a real character - is coming up on her 89th birthday and when people ask her how she feels she says she's "sliding into homeplate".

    Kate

  • julieyankfan
    18 years ago

    It's really true how you have different friends for different things. I wonder what my friends view me as? Makes you think.

    I was in the middle of 2 messes that were taking over my life and they both cleared up in the same week! I was in shock after dealing with it for so long and then having it over with, well almost. I'll never be over the medical stuff, but it could always be worse. You learn to deal with it.

    And you garden to keep your sanity!LOL Enjoy today!
    Julie

  • nebancsvirag
    18 years ago

    Pllove,
    So,How is it going today??
    Thinking of you,
    irene

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Irene, You are such a sweet person and I'm glad to hear you are doing better! But, I can't lie...I still feel horrible I'm having it really rough..don't let me upset you...I get myself into some doozies! It is going to take awhile to get this one cleaned up! Things were neglected around here for a couple of years...before all of the hurricanes hit...for many reasons,including my health and then in Dec. after Frances and Jeanne hit us...my 24 year old daughter died and I just seem so overwhelmed and lost and don't know where to start with all of this mess!....I need people! I need help ! I need companionship! I need ideas! I need fun! I need laughs! I need people! I need a garden buddy!.... I have no idea...how I ended up with a computer..as an only source of contact with PEOPLE..in this big world! Without this computer..I'd be SUNK! I have been with the same man for almost 30 years and have a house full of pets..which I'm grateful for....but I still need other people... my remaining daughter is 22 and is no longer living at home...and never did enjoy plants and animals...So this being alone thing is really bothering me big time! I'm stuck like chuck! I don't go out much...I've shopped till I almost dropped years,ago... Why do I have this house and yard if I can't/don't enjoy it? How did I miss the boat on the HOME thing? Why are good people that enjoy some of the same things I do...so hard to find in this great big world? Peggy

  • nebancsvirag
    18 years ago

    Peggy,
    My heart breaks for you.
    There are tragedies in life,
    and then there are real tragedies.
    Sometimes, going back to basics might be the thing to do.
    If you found the computer- this was meant to be a connections for you with like minded souls.

    Still, hearing another human voice, and feeling a touch can not be transferred on the keyboard.

    Wish you lived closer to me,

    I have plenty of hugs to go around.

    In the meantime, you need to nurture yourself, in anyway you can at the moment.

    There are a great bunch of people here, and believe me, they have lifted me out of the black pits many times.

    Do keep in touch, and never feel you are not amongst friends.

    Irene

  • solstice98
    18 years ago

    Peggy, it IS hard to connect with people. Don't feel alone in that. It's why so many of us love this forum so much. For some of us it's about the time. My day is taken over by the job, then I get home and have my 5 animals to deal with. The housecleaning, etc etc etc. The only time I have left to connect with people is broken up into 15 minute segments or after midnight! The computer is perfect for that I guess. It's always there when we have time.

    There's nothing that can substitue for the loss you experienced. And I can't begin to know how bad it feels. But we can be the shoulder you cry on, when you need to.

    You might think about a part time job - just to get out and communicate with real people a few times a week. Or volunteering. It may sound corny but volunteer work has saved many people who needed to feel needed again. And so many organizations need help.

    Of course, nothing could be better than a part time job at a nursery and now is the time of year they need extra help! Get your name in before the college kids get out of school!

    I think you need to get out of the house and you are the only one who can make it happen. I've been married 30 years too. Wonderful guy, but I would have to shoot him if I didn't have something else going on in my life too.

    Take the step - I just know you'll be glad you did.

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Thank you all,for the kind words!It means so much to me,and it is all true!It's been rough around here for a very long time...I haven't worked outside of the house in almost 13 years and turned to food for friendship and comfort and have gained an extra 100# to carry around..my hubby loves food and learned to cook...great hobby?....I wish it had been home improvement/handyman LOL lucky ain't I...I started hauling junk out of this house...to the dump...charities...yard sales and found homes for some of my pets(birds) & sold my trike motorcycle a couple of weeks ago...boy that hurt..but it cleared up space in the garage after 4 years of just sitting there. I still have lots of stuff to get out...I don't know if he'll get rid of his STUFF or not...he's not moving very fast. LOL I put down 9 yards of mulch in the front yard...still need 2 yards??? My back yard is trashed! It hurts to even go out there! I've done a couple of plant trades to thin out some of my plants..I'm a hose dragger..and the draggin' has been rough..my hubby put in a hose valve in the back yard in about an hour after I have been waiting for 16 years...having to go thru the house to the front yard to turn the hose off and on...16 years of waiting...better late than never? Uh...gee thanks honey, LOL grrrr Well,today is doctor day..yuck! Maybe I can pot up a few plants today...or box up up some more junk..or pull a few weeds..... Peggy

  • Nicki
    18 years ago

    Oh Peggy... I'm so sorry you're going through a bad time. You've suffered so much, and you have so much healing to do.

    What do you think about this crazy idea?
    How about hosting a "plant trade" of sorts at your place. There's no better way than I know of to get a bunch of like-minded gardeners in one place!
    Don't you worry one bit about the state of the garden or your house.
    In fact, my idea is to give each of us a chore when we arrive. Someone to spread mulch, several of us weeding, some transplanting, repotting, cleaning up... plus some plant swapping going on.

    Should I start a thread about this over on the discussions side?
    I think it would be fun. I'll bring cookies, a shovel and some clippers. :)

  • solstice98
    18 years ago

    I've got a favorite pair of gloves that have pulled weeds in this yard for so long they are itching to try it in someone else's yard! Any weekend in April works for me.

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Nicki, I don't want anyone to knock themselves out...around here! Mostly.. take some of these plants home with you and tidy up and lighten my load. My trip to the doctor...didn't go so well...I have to go to a specialist Thursday and these meds are giving me a rough time...? Heck if I know..I feel horrible!!!!! Peggy

  • nitelite
    18 years ago

    Pllove,

    I have read your post[s], and my heart cries out for you.

    I am not an 'active' talker in the threads, I've never had much chance to meet anyone from here, but some might remember me from last year when i 'almost' went to a plant trade that i didn't get a chance to go to...

    I can sympathize with what you must be going through.... not wanting to get into much detail, but I'm a 27 year old who is the sole caregiver to my mother, who can't handle this florida humidity to enjoy the gardens i create for her. Whos eyesight is deteriating and she can't enjoy doing her geneology work anymore [working on finding a good eye doctor for her]

    I'm lucky, I'm still able to 'be all and do all' for my house...

    I am unsure how far you are from me, but if you seriously are wanting some assistance, send me a message,

    Have car, tank full of gas, and come with a shovel, rack, trowel.

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • Nicki
    18 years ago

    Peggy, the only weekend that won't work for me is the 8th and 9th. I have a wedding to go to... But any other weekend in April is fine. I say we all shoot for April - the weather is still bearable!

    Looks like Kate, Carrie Ann and I are able and willing. You just pick the date, and if it's OK with you, we can put a post over on the "other side" to see if others might like to swap plants and help you clean up a tad.

    I hope your health issues are fixable. I'm sending healing vibes your way.

  • msmarion
    18 years ago

    Peggy, I'm ready to help. I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. I have ADD and some days I just don't know where to start. I make a list, whether it's something that I can accomplish today or something that needs to be done that I'm not sure how to do and DH has to help. It's a great feeling just to cross something off the list. I also understand about needing someone other than your husband in your life. We own a motorcycle shop and work together so we are together 24/7 and he's not a work in the yard kinda guy, although he will help if I need him or if I need something built. My last request was a compost bin. It may take a while but he'll get to it. This forum has changed the way I feel about life and about gardening in FL.
    I think a work day is just what the doctor ordered!! I'm just not available April 1 or the last weekend (it's Bike Fest in Leesburg). Sorry to hear you sold your trike we could have gone riding together. Getting on my bike and feeling the wind in my face is like digging in the dirt and nurturing my plants, it's good for the soul. I'll check with Butterflygardener and see if she can lend a hand. Keep us posted on the date and we'll see what we can do.
    Marion

  • scents_from_heaven
    18 years ago

    Teggy, I feel your pain. I have suffered for years the agony of wanting people to share life with and not making connections. I lost my mother and father and drifted for several years in a fog of depression and self-loathing and I am sad to say an attempt to end it all. God was not ready for me to leave this world and thus I am still here. I have discovered that I am a people person big time. I am surrounded by people at Disney day in and day out and the best thing I ever did was take a job there. I also discovered that by volunteering a little of my time to assist others made me feel happier and helped me get healthier mentally. I understand what you are going through.

    I have Mondays off sometimes and I always have Tuesdays off. Unfortunately my Monday and Tuesday are tied up this week, and Tuesday afternoons are tied up for several more weeks, but what are you doing next Tuesday morning? Give me directions via email and I am heading your way. You are stuck with me now so I hope you know what you have gotten yourself in to. My motto is carpe car keys and carpe cushion. I seize each and every day as if it were my last and I treasure each minute of it. If I can drive miles to pick fruit, meet people at plant swaps, etc. then by God I can deive miles to help a friend in need. I know how precious just a word or a few hours together can be. My email is loverofdisney@hotmail,com

    I expect to recieve an email by Tuesday at the latest. I would like directions to your home and your telephone number. I will send my telephone number in return. We can at least begin a telephone contact program and anticipate the sharing of yard duty together. Oh, I am getting excited thinking about it and if there is anyone else who has Tuesday off they can join us. I am getting excited already thinking about assaulting weeds and digging in dirt and having fun with a new gardening friend.

    Carpe Computer, Peggy and carpe friends. Seize the computer for contact with others and seize offers of friendship and help. We are here and I will be there once I know where there is. Linda

  • Nicki
    18 years ago

    That's right - last weekend in April isn't good for me, too. ;) Thanks Marion! You and my Dad would show up and wonder where the heck I went off to...

    What do you think, Peggy? Weekend of April 15th or 22nd?

    A few of us can meet at your place, and before you know it, you're all ship-shape for summer.

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Thanks for all the nice things and conversation...and friendship...but like I said..I get myself into some doozies! My blood pressure can't seem to be controlled and all of the meds are'nt working,interacting and side effects...so now a heart doctor has me...in his grip or care?... and going to test me and add more meds??? darn it..I'm not a pill popper...but Im so stressed...I asked for a tranquilizer...I'm going to get me some peace and tranquility...one way or the other LOL... I just can't take the suckers until this bad medicine is out of my system...I was at the ER last night... and the heart doctor that gave me that bad stuff didn't tell me to stop taking it...until I had already taken one today on top of on top of 3 or 4 other meds for blood pressure!Maybe tomorrow will be better... Let's take it day by day and see what happens...I hope I'm not bothering all of you...but stuff happens and it's usually a doozie!....Peggy

  • Nicki
    18 years ago

    I hope they get your meds straightened out soon. It peeves me when Doctors stick people on meds, then don't communicate with them.

    When you feel like you want people to come over and help you out, just announce a "Plant Trade and Garden Clean Up" event, and you'll get more help than you know what to do with. :)

    Take care - and just concentrate on your health. That's the most important thing.

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    I'm tired today! I spent almost the entire day outside yesterday..it was fanatastic! I boxed up some plants to send to someone, and potted a couple of plants. ..while my hubby was tearing the bathroom apart..to completely overhaul.. LOL No party at my house any time soon.. darn it ! ..No potty for the potters! Sure would like to get a few people here,though...enough plants for everyone. I even thought about a drawing for my black bat and wedding vine...I have so many plants..I don't know if I should try and take more on in trades...I wish someone could preview the mess I have and give me some ideas!LOL Peggy

  • nitelite
    18 years ago

    Peggy,

    I actually have off from this friday afternoon to wed. evening...

    If you want help, I have a day I can spend...

    Just tell me!

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Carrie, I would love to spend a few hours with you,on one of your days off! I sent you an email...I live in Vero Beach...it's a drive for you and I'd worry...but if you drive alot and like it...hey! And please remember it's rough around here...I call it rougher street!LOL everything is a mess...and I'm not exaggerating either! ..consider yourself warned! LOL But if you like plants,animals,food...there's somethin' here to enjoy...or if you like repairs/decorating on a shoestring budget...you can go wild and have a blast! LOL and of course there's the friendship...ah! You don't need to bring a thing...when you come..just an emergency kit LOL...while you're on the road.. water,phone,my number... Peggy

  • nitelite
    18 years ago

    LOL,

    Just replied to your email, wish i had read this first! I'd have some comments to make on the whole 'remodeling on a shoe string budget'...

    We do the same thing here at my house!!!! lol... we bought a fixer-uper.... and boy, it needs it in many places! lol...

    I'll await your reply to my email!

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Oh...........shame on me! This invite goes to any one and everyone any time and every time! ..Some days are just a little rougher than others! Oh and Carrie...I haven't gotten your e-mail unless I've deleted it....I do-z that some times :o( Peggy

  • msmarion
    18 years ago

    Peggy, I'm only 45 minutes south of you. Let me know which day you'd like me to come up and help you out. I have a wedding on Saturday, but I could come up during the week.
    Have shovel will travel!
    Marion

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    Marion, Enjoy the wedding! Carrie and I have been conversing by e-mail for the last couple of days...and we are hoping to ,get together Saturday! If her and I don't decide to condem this entire property. :o( I would like to have you come up ..and visit and take home a couple of plants next week...and maybe you can give me a second opinion !LOL Let's keep in touch... I have just about talked myself out..with Carrie.. until 1:30a.m. this morning...and filled her in on all the bad news around here....the house and yard being in bad shape...and having a house full of pets.including a snake and lizards... If you aren't frightened...so far... ask Carrie to fill you in! LOL Peggy

  • msmarion
    18 years ago

    The only thing that frightens me is falling off of my motorcycle!! I'd be glad to help you out. Let me know what day next week works for you. I'll see if butterfly gardener is available that day.
    Marion

  • pllove
    Original Author
    18 years ago

    WOW! What a day...Carrie made it! Didn't get too much work done.I felt lousey...and talked too,much ... and enjoyed every second! But several plants found a home with her...nothing fancy...but plants to a good home is a good thing...right? I enjoyed her companionship and wish her well. I'm tired...but I have a smile on my face! Peggy

  • nitelite
    18 years ago

    We all have lousy days... and again, i tried to tell Peggy I understood... since I live and deal with my mother who had health issues as well...

    I'm used to my mom 'getting up, working for 2-5 minutes, than sitting down for another 10-15, than getting up again for another 2-5 etc.' On moms really bad days, she enjoys the outdoors, relaxing, and chatting with me and 'supervising' my work, even telling me what to do! lol..

    My backseat was loaded down with wonderful babies to take care of... Even her neighbor gave me a few babies to take home! [night blooming jasmine, mixed 4 o'clocks, amaryllis] from Peggy, I received many many many plants!

    I had a great time, her front yard is FULL of wonderful plants.... and i was given many many many babies... we didn't get to deal with her back yard...

    I took my time going down to vero beach... and not sure why this happens, but the trip home was quicker than the trip there!

    This morning, it was my plan to wake up early and take care of all these wonderful babies... [the night blooming jasmine needs to be planted today because it is a small plant that is already 3feet tall!] But, i forgot about the time change.... so instead of waking up at 6:30am, i woke up at 7:30am, lol... than i wanted to read and post on the forums.... so, hopefully soon I can get out there...

    I really did enjoy myself Peggy!

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    Marion, Feel free to drop me a line..if you would still like to come up. I might have to take you up to our POA clubhouse to use the potty,though! LOL Peggy

  • nitelite
    17 years ago

    Hello Everyone!

    Peggy, just wanted to show you what I was able to do with the plants you sent home with me!

    Here they are! Enjoy Peggy and everyone else!
    {{gwi:753754}}


    {{gwi:753756}}


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    {{gwi:753759}}


    {{gwi:753761}}


    {{gwi:753762}}

    Here is a link that might be useful: Full album of garden beds both full and empty - Mystik Nitelite

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    Oh Carrie, I'm so tickled to see your place! Everything will fill in nicely! I had no idea...you had all of the cute garden art..and you told me you had plenty of garden area.. WOW you weren't kidding LOL..after you get everything planted let me know and I'll try to send you a small box of other plants! I'm so happy for you!Did your mom ever research all the plants and print care sheets? Good luck...Ya know I love ya'....Peggy

  • nitelite
    17 years ago

    Peggy,

    What you saw, was just 'parts' of the front yard... and the 'Garden of Eden' [my mom's personal garden] She's the one that is really into garden art... That rock you see in with the Hawaiian Ti's, that my mom bought for 9 bucks... I want to learn hypertufa so i can make my own rocks. [she wants more]. The rabbit in there as well, is my moms... she wasn't happy with it being in with the confederate jasmine...

    What I didn't show, was the 4 foot eucalyptus tree I got this weekend... It will go over to where the other one is....

    And, I finally got my 'mail order' in about an hour before I left for work. So, tomorrow before I leave for work, I'm going to have to plant the 4 brugs i got, 3 will go into nice sized pots on in the ground...

    I can tell you, that whatever you want to send, I can take! lol...

    My mom is 100% happy with the plants I received at your place Peggy, this weekend, I'm going to work on making lists so she can print out the 'care' sheets for them, along with the plants i got in the mail today...

    She doesn't want me to change a think in that corner with the Ti's and bromiliads... she thinks its perfect, but i've been thinking... [i know, dangerous right? lol] but there is mother in law tongue that i've been battling with removing for 5 years now. i like the plant, its just too darn invasive for my taste! it pops up everywhere i don't want it to be!

    So, i was wondering if i put like a 6-8 piece ofpvc pipe with a cap on the bottom full of very very small 'holes' for drainage if i could 'contain' some MiL tongue... and maybe put it a little bit behind but between the very middle of the Hawaiian Ti's... hmmm, thinking can be dangerous! lol!

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    I'll think of something!..we should have spent some time out back...we missed something that's missing in your bed...of course!Don't put mother-in-laws in there...they're pot hoppers LOL I guess you figured that out! Start thinking about mulch and compost...that'll keep you entertained...until I think of something. LOL Darn it ..I had the green Ti out back and a couple of other things..it does need some green.grrrr and maybe a tad bit more color just a tad. I'm mailin' or your drivin'? LOL Peggy

  • nitelite
    17 years ago

    Peggy,

    I wont be doing any extended driving trips for a few weeks.... lol.

    It does need some green, but of course, it would really get mostly shade under that stubborn oak tree.

    I have so much that I have to plant right now... I've got some glad bulbs that I wasn't able to plant in the ground, I had to take them to my 'potting area' out back because the squirels like to eat/or dig up my glad bulbs.. I have about 35 that are starting to sprout there, once they get a bit bigger [and look less like food for those 'rats'] I plan on planting them in the ground out front...

    Really, I am totaly excited about this front yard... I just wish my brother would bring more pieces of trunks and limbs home soon, so I have more 'material' to use for making garden beds.

    Now i feel a bit overwhelmed! lol...

    Once I get a lot of these plants started and they go out of dormancy, I will take some pictures for all to see...

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    Carrie, Where did you put the orchids? How about the begnias? Let me know when the bleeding heart gets a couple of leaves and if the king's mantle and night blooming jasmine roots. Peggy

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    Anyone else want to come and play for a couple of hours ? You are welcome. Peggy

  • nitelite
    17 years ago

    Peggy,

    The orchids and kings mantle are in pots to root... the night blooming jasmine i have planted in the ground, and the begonias are in pots until i decide where I want them to go...

    I will definately let you know the status of the bleeding heart... I'm keeping my eye on it...

    Blessed Be,
    Carrie Ann

  • pllove
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    Oh Carrie, Put the bleeding heart where it gets a tad of sun/light. My large piece has some green growth..but I had another smaller piece in a pot that wasn't getting enough light? I put it next to the other...I'm so ashamed that I almost lost that plant...after all these years. Peggy

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