Such a strange day today! Doctors visit didn't go well as far as the meds. But I did get a slight reduction in amounts or switching meds...I have a week to think about it! The echo looked good...now a angio/catherization?... Then I come back here to check on the FL forum and notice a fellow gardenener has an ill husband! Then to top it all off...we were informed that some friends in GA were in a serious vehicle accident,near their home! These stressful sad days..I abhore them! Peggy

My detox program seems to be coming along nicely! Thank goodness.it'll take a few more days to get the wobble out of my legs..GEESH! Too much of a good thing? I'll slap them into another zipcode..when I get my strength back! LOL Peggy

I still feel good today! or even close to feeling great! But I haven't taken my meds yet this morning either! I just told my husband...I can hardly wait to see what happens today.....after taking them ! Am I a @#$%^ ? They wanted me to go see a head doctor.and I refused...and then they offered to write mental health med. scrip ! Am I dealing with pill pushers here? I researched all my meds on the computer and adjusted the amounts myself..and it seems to be working! They just want to keep adding meds?....is this normal practice? Keep adding.....but never take something away or decrease the dosage of 1 or 2 meds? Peggy

Peggy,
If your treating physician has suggested a 'head doctor', definitely do it. We all go through times that are tough and from what you've told us, this point in your life qualifies as tough. Why not get a little help to get to the other side of it? We don't hesitate to see other medical specialists and I don't think we should hesitate to get professional assistance with mental health issues either. You are not supposed to go through life sad, anxious and emotionally stressed; help is available.

Five years ago I was going through a bad time: bad job, family issues, a critically ill friend, money problems, no apparent way out and no end in sight. I wasn't sleeping, I was drinking too much, I was gaining weight, and I was ignoring my garden! Just a few warning signs, huh? But I was tough and strong and capable and ... well, you get the picture. I finally asked my doctor for something to help me sleep through the night, thinking that might solve at least one of my problems. He was pretty insightful though and asked me a couple more questions about what was going on in my life. Suddenly I was crying and giving him the whole story. He prescribed anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds which I immediately started to take. Within two weeks I was feeling better and was able to take some control over my life. Soon I was once again able to plan for what I wanted and to make decisions. Eight months later I was able to stop taking the meds. I honestly credit this doctor with saving my life --- and my garden!
Every once in a while we ALL need help. When you feel you are in a downward spiral, you need someone to reach out and help you stop the spin. Listen to your doctor. Talk to a mental health pro and consider the prescription. No shame in it. When you are feeling better, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it.
Kate

Kate, I am in a mess..I guess I will have to do that..at least there will be another ..doctor involved. These blood pressure meds I'm on, have lots of side effects...maybe another doctor can help figure this long list of meds out!and if worse comes to worse.. my remaining daughter can always seek an opinion from an out of town lawyer depending on what the medical exaiminer finds..if worse comes to worse, right ? LOL Peggy

Take the list of meds to your pharmacist and tell them you are confused about what you are on and the combined effects. If you are using more than one pharmacist, stop it and move all prescriptions to one place. This step is easy and you should do it today. Go talk to them; they can help you.

That's the problem...I use the same Pharmacy at the same location..and he has a couple of questions too!One night I called the location that was open 24 hours.he told me to go to ER,because of my heart rate.etc. ! But my druggist that I use next to my home..said they red flag bad mixtures right out of the computer...but he can't commit to a comment on one of the scrips......he told me to talk to the doctor! I have told the doctor I thought Ineeded a reduction in meds maybe and thats when they metioned the head doctor..and I found that highly offensive especially after the doctor at the ER said"what do they have you on this stuff for" So there you have it Babe. LOL Peggy

Peggy, it is scary to me how the doctors push so many pills. It's confusing, and I don't blame you for second guessing them. I wish it was easier to get alternate information about medications. I'm afraid I don't have any advice on that, other than try to do some research online like you've been doing. But work with your doctor on it. Let them know what you've learned and what your concerns are, and how you'd like to lower you dosage, etc...

And about the "head doctor"... I can see how you would find it insulting. But I think back on my Mom's life, and now I can see it so clearly. It's tragic. My mom died from depression. Sure, the diabetes is what killed her, but if she hadn't been depressed, she'd probably have taken care of herself. But she didn't. She allowed her disease to kill her. She had no will to live, and she was like that for 20 years. God, I wish I had realized that and had done something for her - like dragged her off to a head doctor. I might still have my Mom to talk to every Friday night, and she might still be here when a I need a shoulder to cry on.

So I guess what I'm saying is, don't turn down an opportunity, as weird as it might seem at the time, to do something good for yourself. You sound like you have the right attitude and you're trying to do the best for yourself. That is more than half the battle.

Good luck to you, and I hope you find a doctor that really works with you. Be upfront when you see a new doctor. Tell them your concerns, and tell them you need them to explain everything to you - and tell them you don't want to be popping unnecessary pills! Sometimes you've got to shake them up a bit to get them to remember it's YOUR health they're dealing with.

LOL..went to the doctor and asked for a referral to head doctor..because of stress to meds etc. And he said are you sure you need to...and I said of course, because my gastriologist...wants me to start treatment for Hepatitis C,too........and we all know that's heavy duty stuff! LOL So, we shall see what happens next....primary doctor and 4 blood pressure meds...Cardi. 1 med......gastro..super heavy duty stuff for hep c he wants me to start ...and now a head doctor...if they can find one that takes my insurance. Sounds like fun......NOT! Talk at ya later, Peggy

Nicki, Thank you!...I need all the help I can get! And you can always use my shoulder if you need to...evidently I can take a bit...LOL I'm serious...if you ever need to talk ,let me know........that's the only way we will all, make it in this world.by helping one another..... Peggy

Some mess huh!My primary is 40 years old,and i have been seeing him for a couple of years...he sends me to gastro. and cardio. ...and now looking for shrink...he doesn't really seem to be in a hurry though...and it was at their insistance ..last week.He said he was going to find one just for me!LOL I'm almost too afraid, to ask.LOL The cardio. guy has already told my husband and I, he doesn't know what small vesssel disease is,he's 43. Beam me up Scotty!....... Peggy

Peggy,

I say go with your gut. If you think something is not right ...then something is probably not right.

I would call your insurance company and express your concerns. Most insurance companies have doctors that work for them and could give some advice.

It also might be worth traveling a little further out of town to find a docter you are comfortable with.

You could also check into more natural meds. Having said that you need to talk to your doctor about it. Tell him you are not comfortable with everything he is prescribing and you would like to try a more natural/holistic approach.

I wish you the best of luck. Keep doing your research, and ask all the questions you want. Knowledge is power! Sometimes all we need are straight answers, and feel well informed about the situation to feel better. YOur doctor should never make you feel stupid. If he does maybe you should find a doctor with better bedside manners.
I have switched docters because they were condensending to me or didn't want to answer my questions. They want me to take there word for it. Well guess what? I got new doctors. I know this makes me sound all gun ho, but I am actually a mild mannered person (usually)and it takes alot for me to get upset, especially to the point where I would switch doctors.

Good Luck

Oh by the way...I'm sitting here with $2600.00 worth of meds,for a month supply mind you...and the treatment is for 48 weeks ...the gastro. guy ordered on my 2nd visit..I got nervous...oh and my remaining daughter (22) managed to get a D.U.I right 3 days before Christmas...I wasn't doing christmas anyway....because Chandra had passed away the year before near Christmas!... and my husband and I went for a counsulation with the gastro...because the meds are heavy duty and I got nervous....and that's when they recommended a head doctor..that was in Jan. I have since learned..that it is common practice to seek a counsoler before...taking the meds for Hep.C...it's almost law? So now I have his office and his pharmacy driving me nuts.wanting to know when i'll use and buy more meds!...I have asked them,"why did you order the meds before me talking to head doctor?... His little office gal said if your aren't going to use the meds....send them back. I called the pharmacy in Orlando and told them my doctor said ,maybe I should send the meds back? ROTFLOL....they pharmacy said..you can't send that stuff back...I said I know...but I was following a suggestion. LOL We are talking a little more than rude here ..with all of these "professsionals"and who is in need of a head doctor!the gasro. had an appointment for me to learn how to take the injections...everything was fine..until I asked for a consultation with my husband.and all in the meantime I'm dealing with blood pressure meds. and not feeling well! Things have to get better...LOL OH I haven't had a decent nights sleep in 2 or 3 months...because of these meds and anxiety? LOL Peggy

Just got the phone call...they just found me a head doctor(female) and she has been in practice since 2002 and in this town for 2 years...this should be very interesting. Seems the cardio. and this gal were at the same hospital before coming to my town. So now ,I need to find out how long the cardio. has been in practice?....all young chums...from the same hospital out to spread their wings and get a going practice.... I'll keep you informed...hope you don't mind. Peggy

I have good news at last!The cardio. agreed to and likes the way I adjusted my dosage of meds and pleased with my progress and blood pressure! I don't have to see him again for 5 months! Whew...1 less doctor! LOL...I did tell him though,that if.. he gets famous and rich to toss me a few bucks...for me medicating/doctoring myself! 1 doctor down...3 to go!...and I have to work on this insomnia thing..I need sleep desperately!.. LOL It's been rough..you have no idea! I feel better and would like a little company and help potting up a few plants....so if you have a day to spare or a few hours..when it's cool outside..I'd love to have you over for a visit and send you home with a few plants... Peggy

Ariel,You are a doll! I have had serious problems with being assertive in the past...and was used for a door mat! I'm trying to break that bad habit!LOL And it seems to be coming along nicely......I was fit to be tied! Peggy

ROTFLOL...My husband and I had a good laugh! While at the cardios. office yesterday..the doctor suddenly remembered what small vessel disease is. LOL I mentined this to my husband and he said..maybe he was just stressed out the other day and didn't want to discuss it or was mad because I refused an increased dosage of meds... Bad days? We all have them...right ? Peggy

Oh gawd, Peggy! They could make a sitcom based on how your doctors treat you!

Hang in there. At least you are finding humor in this... :)

And I hope your daughter is doing OK, and has learned a very serious lesson. She does not need to be going around worrying you like that - on top of everything else you're going through.

I hope you're getting some rest, too.

Take care,
Nicki

Nicki, i don't have to tell you what kind of trouble my daughter has herself in, do I?Fines you wouldn't believe,points on her driving record ,probation,car booted,loss of driving privledges for a short while,victims impact panel,probation.....big bucks and a lot of places to be and things to do...while trying to keep a full time job! You KNOW,I'm worrried about her..she is a very pretty girl..but I do wonder about some of the things she does and some of the company she keeps...they love those bars. I'm not too happy about this boy she is dating,either..nice looking boy..but he thinks he's the gift to the earth...and probably the ladies,too! He has been in trouble or a user...and doesn't have his own car...and told us ..when he was drinking one night...after we caught him driving HER car that wwe co-signed for... that he has a drinking problem...and has no business owning a car...he is 24! I'm sorry I'm telling all my problems...but hey..I have to talk to someone!...AND NO...not a shrink! He/she couldn't give a rats petunia! Peggy

Still no sleep! 3-5 hours a night!for 2 months? I know its the meds!I can't close my eyes...they are fixed wide open!I have taken a small tranquilizer..and passed out for a few hours and then BINGO..wide awake again! I called a mental health nurse at a hospital...yesterday...she told me to find another primary doctor...geesh this is going to be fun! I don't feel lucky..for some reason LOL. Our truck has been in the shop for 4 days,for ball joints? we should have gotten a loaner...I'm going stir crazy! Almost got ripped off by a plumber too...but we got that little problem fixed..and saved mega bucks!The tub is in..all we need now is dry wall and tile...I've had the tile for 10 years ..ready and waiting LOL.Geesh if those nice guys finish the project they have..I'm next in line? Hope so.. I also met a lawn man at the 7-11...that is in dire need of a new truck...he was under the hood and the truck is old. I wonder if he could give me a hand?...I sure don't need to get caught up with a crack addict,again..(don't ask me)!I am wide awake but yet don't get anything done...I want a doctor to explain this! LOL...its like an anxiety,obsession compulsion thing...I'm on this forum a lot...I am even waken out of sleep with dreams about this forum... I want my 8-10 hours of sleep back! I'm not as tired as I used to be...and my blood pressure seems good... but hey...this wide awake thing ain't my cup of tea either...and yes all my drinks are decaf...Peggy

Well..I took the tranquilizerers ..2.. because they are small..with my night meds last night...I slept until 5:45 this morning Yippie..but I feel like a truck hit me!I also have a lupus type lesion on my face close to my chin...Lupus eryth..? symptomatic? or systemic...car is still in shop so I have a picture on the digi...that we don't know how to use...I mention this to my primary...back in Jan....guess I'll take the lupus test...all of these meds and illnessses are so intertwined....yuck! I hope someone figures out something...quickly! Peggy

Well..that mad rush stuff is out of my system..I hope! Still not sleeping though.....I read some of these meds take between 4-14 days to leave your system? I hope someone is adding and subtracting these days as they go by ...I need all the help I can get!...and my Truck/car is still in the shop...grrrr Peggy

LOL...Did anyone hear on the news last night..where they wanted to start shrink therapy on- line..for a big fee of course!LOL ..and I guess they'll be fighting about that,too..some think it's a good idea....some don't and it being too hard to monitor for scamsLOL And here I am chatting my little head off.LOL Life is...so odd/funny sometimes..LOL Peggy

Good ol 3a.m..seems to be the magic number here lately! One of these meds..the primary gave me(that was my idea) months ago..that I learned from a ER doc.. on one of my visits....is recomended not to give to someone with a history of depresssion! hmmm You know I wouldn't even be worried about my blood pressure if the nurses and docs hadn't made me so nervous about it!LOl ever time they take my blood pressure ..they freak! I even went to the doctor one time because I had been dizzy for a couple of days and thought it was vertigo or something. Years ago mind you...and they took my blood pressure..turned white..started tripping over one another...and the next thing I knew an ambulance was there to pick me up....my hubby held the door open for them...he had no idea they were there for me! FUN (not) Why am I having such a hard time with all of these doctors and meds and different personalities? Why did the doctor give me that medicine because dumb me requested it ?......it is a very old medicine..probably older than he is...if it was such a good med...why didn't he think of it ? I have mentioned this to him several times....has he looked up the name of this med yet or did he just write out the scrip? And by research..I don't mean just the little scrap of paper the med/pharm reps give him when a different one sees him every couple of days hawking their wares/products!LOL Peggy

Our truck still isn't ready! I'm gonna blow a gasket for sure! LOL Peggy BTW...this is at a dealership! geeesh!

Can you imagine how much fun it is for me, to get up at 2 or 3 in the morning and have to be quiet as a church mouse ..to keep from waking my hubby up? I'm wore out when he gets up! I call it..."I wore myself out,waiting for you to get up!" LOL Peggy

Surprise!it's 2a.m. again!I guess I'll be wrestling this gator of problems...all by myself.....as usual! Check out the medicine.. clonidine...and depression and small vessel disease and....Diovan..for vivid nightmares etc...triamtrene hctz...and toprol XL and ativan..they took the lotrel out of this list..guess what the mls are or were on these meds..and they do it by weight?...hmm last BBq I had I couldn't even drink half of a beer because i got drunk LOL...and that was years ago. How many pills did i list...wonder if I missed one? I'll find it when I go to take all of them again this morning and at bedtime....geesh Peggy

I have printed out some info. sheets on these meds and will be getting my records from the hospital where I had the heart catherization done in feb/mar 2000...do I have small vessel disease or not?LOL who was right.. that doctor or these? LOL Peggy

Peggy
Stress and high blood pressure just don't mix. I know it's very hard to control the stress sometimes, but you have to try. Gardening can be a very good stress relief. Soon you decrease the stress, the blood pressure pills will also be controlled. I will keep you in my prayers.

wELL.i GUESS THE BATTLE STARTS BRIGHT AND EARLY THIS MORN WITH THE DOCTORS..HOPE EVERYONE'S RECORDS ARE COMPLETE..WITH THESE MEDS. AT THE HOSPITAL AND PHARMACY AND DOCTORS OFFICE.i CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS...i KNOW SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT..AND THIS CLONIDINE HAS CAUSED ME TO SMOKE TRIPLE WHAT i NORMALY DO...THIS SHOULD ENCOURAGE THE DOCTORS..TOO... HOPEFULLY! i AM THE ONE THAT CHOSE THIS MED....THEY DARN WELL BE ABLE TO PROVE OTHERWISE......WOULDN'T YOU THINK?

Check out clonidine at what meds .com and tell me what you think.LOL

That is quite a lot of meds Peggy. How high does your pressure run?

Hi Peggy! I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so poorly! I don't know about your mobility, but have you tried taking walks to calm some stress? What about journaling, writing things out? I know these are going to fix your problems, but it would possibly let some of the feelings you have about everything get out of your head and possibly let your mind sleep a little.

What about finding a place that you know you are comfortable in at your house and make that your sleeping area instead of the bed?

Teggy, I understand your frustration and concern. I also understand about stress and high blood presure. Mine was reading in the 210/115 area the past couple of weeks when I was unable to sleep much and stressed over my husband, finances and work. I finally had to let go and let God before i could relax -OH and BLOW UP at a very dear friend. I screamed at her for over five minutes like a fish wife. It was not a pretty sight but my blood pressure went down some after that.

I know that you need ONE DOCTOR in charge of your medication and you need to make him aware of any new meds that ANY OTHER doctor prescribes. If you are not happy with your care, then I would suggest seeking a second opinion from another doctor or seeking ANOTHER DOCTOR. I have had to become picky in who provides my medical care. It took me over 8 years of trial and error in Tallahassee before I put together a wonderful team. Believe it or not it was headed by a medical psychiatrist who understood pituitary issues and diabetes. He was in charge of my meds. I also had a gastroenterologist, an endocrinologists who acted as my primary, an allergist and a gynecologist. These doctors took wonderful care of me and I had every confidence in them. When I got married and moved to Sebring I lost my team and was unable to find one a doctor I trusted. My health went downhill. Here is Orlando I found a decent endocrinologist, but I will never find one like I had in Tallahassee, a fabulous internist and had been seeing a cardiologist and an arthritis doctor. I finally got tired of everyone prescribing something different and have settled with my endorinologist and my wonderful Internist. He is like an old country doctor with the latest smarts. He even calls you at home to check on you if you have been really sick and when my husband was in the hospital he noticed I looked bad and made me sit while he took my blood pressure, etc. He is a jewel.

One good major doctor is worth his weight in gold and it make take several attempts to find one you can work with. Where exactly do you live? I can contact my source and do a lot of research and see if I can point you in the direction of a wonderful doctor with a great reputation. I have a lot of contacts in the medical world who know doctors across the state and can give me good advice. I go online and do a lot of research into their education, practice, etc and have been known to go sit in their office and just talk to some of the patients about the doctor and how they feel about him/her, etc. It is worth the effort.

As we learned by my husband's latest trip to the hospital, a lot of doctors have not been honest with us about his health. We learned a lot of news that made me very very angry. We have an appointment with his cardiologist who did not practice at the hospital he was in, and we are going to have a very long and honest discourse on my husband's health, his future and why we were not told these things. I feel sorry fot that doctor somewhat as he is not going to enjoy seeing us. He is also the cardiologist I had chosen here and I just do not feel comfortable with him anymore.

SMOKING - worse thing you can do for any type of heart condition. You know that so I will not preach other than to say that it constricts your blood vessels and makes your heart have to work harder to force the blood through your veins and arteries - thus higher blood pressure. Also not good for your lungs who work in connection with your heart.

I was unhappy seeing a psychiatrist for the first time years ago. My gastroenterologist referred me. (I had the same gastro man for 30 years and trusted him with my life). I spent over 25 years in therapy and learned that a psychiatrist is one of the best friends you can have though expensive. I also was a door mat and I attempted to please people regardless of what it cost me to gain their approval. It cost me and my insurance a lot of money for me to learn ONE VERY Important sentence - IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM UNLESS I ALLOW IT TO BE MY PROBLEM. I learned to let go of a lot of garbage in my life and I learned to let go of a lot of thoughts and things that used to bother me. I am not saying I have learned to let go of everything, because I haven't. I still get upset with myself if I think I have offended someone or if I think I have done something wrong. I still tend to obsess other things from time to time. I am having to learn to let go of my horrible stress and smothering of my husband and let God handle it. I can not change anything other than my own attitude and if I allow myself to stress out and have a stroke or heart attack - then who is going to take care of him let alone me. It is hard knowing that there is no one out there to take care of you if you get sick or really who would care other than the cat and your husband. I have two brother and neices and nephews, but I was a late in life child and they were always jealous of the treatment I got from my parents and thus they have little to do with me and have turned their own children against me. I hace chosen to no longer let that hurt me. I just tell people I have tow nale relatives. I still take meds for anxiety attacks. I can obsess over the strangest things. My latest is that we are going to run out of water. There is no sleep when you are anxious and stressed. I know those nights. I walked the floor for hours at a fast pace trying to outwalk my thoughts and to wear myself out physicall7y so I would fall asleep.

Depression can kill you. I attempted suicide several times in the past due to it. A psychiatrist is nothing to be ashamed of and I think the crazy people in the world are those who do not seek their help when it is needed. I recognixe the symptoms in other people and I am a good listener. My doctor told me that I know about as much about psychiatry as he does with the exception that I can not prescribe meds. Not sleeping and insomnia are sure signs of depression and with everything that is going on in your life it is to be expected. I take Zoloft for my anxiety and depression. I had been off of it for nine months, but asked the doctor for it due to current circumstances and he agreed. Knowledge about your conditions and meds is the best medicine you can have. I have been known to question my doctors about meds and remind them of what I am on and that I read that you do not mix these meds together. This has caused them to look up the med and agree with me. If a doctor refuses to listen to your concerns then he is not the doctor for you. I had to take the bull by the horns one day and I literally sat on the floor in front of the door so that he could not leave and told him we were going to sit and talk and he was not leaving until I got answers. After that he came out to the waiting room to get me and we walked arm in arm to his office for a conversation before my exam. I have learned to become assertive and take control of my own health since that day. He had to stop practice due to acquiring Hep C from a patient during brain surgery.

You do have a lot going on in your life and you will stay in my prayers. I have just as much stuff but in some different areas. My doctor has said I am the healthiest sick person he has ever seen. He said most people with my health problems would have become bed ridden invalids thirty years ago, but he says I take each new thing in stride, make a few adjustments and just keep on going. He is amazed at how I handle problems with my health. I told him I was the only person born in the hospital in my family, that I had had medical issues since I was three months old and it is just a way of life for me. I have a lot of odds stacked against me with my family history and the health of my own brothers. Almost everyone in my family died young due to either heart attacks or stroke. My father and mother lived the longest and my Mom died of a heart attack and my father suffered several strokes and died from cancer. One brother has had a heart attack and colon cancer and my other brother has had quadruple bypass surgery on his heart. Thus I am very concerned about my health but I do not let it rule me if I can help it. I do know where you are coming from and understand completely. Sometimes I get rebellious and take myself off a lot of my meds and start over. Sometimes when I become insulin resistant and they have to hospitalize me and fast me for days before reintroducing food and meds they take a new approach and slowly readd things one by one. I have learned how to adjust my doases and which meds I have to have. I use the otherhs on a PRN schedule. You know your ownself best and if something doesn't feel right I go with my own gut feeling and I do research and I pester my doc to death until he orders the tests I ask for to seek answers and generally I am right on the mark. hang in there, my friend.

I am sorry for the loss of your daughter, especially around Christmas and know that it will always hurt. You are hurting yourself though by not celebrating the season especially if she loved Christmas. It is a wonderful time to remember her and her life and to celebrate life yourself. My husband did not want to celebrate the first Christmas after his wife's death - especially in our home which had been their home. He knew how much I loved Christmas and he made reservations at Disney (luckily they had had a cancellation). That started a tradition for us where we spend Christmas at Disney (his children did not want me in their homes for Christmas that year and thue he said we will not do Christmas with them with the exception of maybe going over for a morning or day to share with them or have them come to us).

As for your other daughter - she is going to have to hit rock bottom before you can help her. She is at an age where she does not wish to hear what you have to say and the more you say the more she will do the opposite. Try to keep her near you the best you can, but sometimes you have to practice hard love. I know it is extremely hard for you having lost your other daughter, but you can not help someone who does not wish help. I have a stepson that is extremely irresponsible and he knew that everytime he got in trouble he could call Mom and Dad or his siblings and someone would bail him out. He is an alcoholic and has been into the hard drugs. I sat down with the family and told them the best way to help him was to harden their hearts and tell him that they are no longer bailing him out of his situations. He has been in jail, his wife left him and he was on the streets. He called everyone for help, but no one would send money or do anything. Finally one of his brothers caved in when he called and said he was going to die on the streets if he did not come and get him. The mistake Kurt made was not setting down conditions. Thus Lee is starting the same crap he has always done, but he is discovering that there is little or no help forthcoming and his brother told him that either he seeks help and straightens up or he is out the door on his own. This boy is 34 years old. The family did him a disservice by babying him. I know that from my own experience. No one would allow me to make a mistake. I have since learned that you pay for your mistakes and sometimes it hurts. I never had legal issues, but I learned what it was like to have no food, car etc.

Peggy, my heart goes out to you. I have learned that things in life are not that important, but taking care of yourself and living each day to it's fullest the best you can is what matters. Take life one day at a time. Have you tried keeping a journal at night when you can not sleep? Write all your feelings, anger at your daughter passing, anger at your living daughter, anger at your own health, anger at your doctors and even ager against God for allowing all of this to happen to you. It will help you get a lot of the mess out of your system and it will allow you to let go of some of the stress. I have found it to be great therapy. It also wears you out emotionally and physically and will eventually allow you to find sleep. Take sleep where you can find it. I have been known to go to the woods by a steam and take a nap. It was the only place I could find peace.

I am here if you need someone to chat with and I would love to come see you. My problem is I am allergic to tobacco smoke and thus can not go into homes where people smoke, but I can sit outside and share time. Let me know what would be good for you and I will see if I can work something out as regards work. Know you are thought about and cared for. Linda

Well.I'm back...and yes I had every adverse reaction to clonidine ,,but the impotence LOL So we are going to try 2 clonidine and up the diovan..Geesh I have been so ill.....and that boy doctor tried to dance me around...he should have never wrote that scrip!But it's my fault because I asked him too! I told him flat out..game over we have a mess!severe insomnia..is very unpleasant..trying to function on 2-3 hours sleep a night,for days and weeks at a time..it is torture ..flat out torture!So..I guess we are off on another adventure?..I just want to feel better! I have no idea what might happen next...but I'll have to deal with it...my blood pressure wasn't too bad today...but not great 142/92 at the office.it has been as high as 210/107?...thats when all of this fun started.....many years ago...and if this doesn't work..I'm looking for another doctor.

If we were closer Peggy, Chris and I would come and help out in your garden. :( Many thoughts and prayers sent up the coast...

Misti,Thank you! I know you would..when I saw your post about the trip looking for bromeliads...you reminded me so much of me,in my youth...I know you and your husband are great/good people...

Oh Peggy! I just am checking this part of the Gardenweb for the first time. Am I out of touch or what?! I feel so badly for you. I think Linda gave you some good sound advise. She has been through so much also that she is a great resource. I have difficulty sleeping also. Neck and back and other joint issues make it tough for me to sleep. I say that I "cat nap" or should that be "Kat-nap" LOL!
It is so hard on you night after night and I think it really has changed my whole personality. I do see a "shrink" and I am not afraid to say so. He has helped me.
I do hope you get your meds and health straightened out. I will be praying for you. May God bless,
Kat

Hi Kat,I have noticed that many people on this forum have different hours of sleep.It is rough isn't it! I sure do like my sleep and miss it...I just don't like feeling bad! Yes,Linda sounds like she has had it rough too...I'm in such bad shape..I can barely help myself.LOL I would love to meet some of you,on this forum...and if Linda can suggest another doctor for me in this town....I'll more than gladly take a look/see...I know there is something missing with the crowd of doctors I've met lately...If you still want to take a trip up here sometime ..let me know...I am horribly embarassed at times with the condition of my home...but I'm working on that petty issue,too.LOL

Hey. Peggy - it is not about the house - it is about the person. If people can not look over the mess to see what is important - then they are not worth knowing or having around anyway. When people are sick or don't feel well - we should never expect a perfect house. My garden went to hades while my husband was in hospital and there are days I barely make it to work and back. I have to choose what is important and sometimes it is taking care of me and of course spending my precious time off with my husband. I do what I can with the other stuff. I just decided to choose how I wanted to be remembered when I am gone. Do I want to be remembered as the person who kept a Better Homes and Garden house or as a person who cared about people and spent time helping others, spent time with family and friends, spent time doing things in the community, etc. I think you get my point. So I do what I can around the house and I spend the majority of my time with people.

A wonderful cardiologist here in Orlando is Dr. William Story. Dr. Glenn Pfaff is a great internist and very caring. What town do you live in? Linda

I just checked your page. do you still live in Vero?

Hi Peggy,I feel your pain&frustration,I have Irritable bowel,started with food poisening,needless to say 11 yrs later& 7 doctors later,Im living a near normal life as i can,trust your gut others have given you great advice,I ran from those doctors that told me it was all in my head or pushed med's on me I didnt need,I have a great doctor it took several meds at different doses to work for me,everyone's immune system is different,So hang in there,theres light at the end of tunnel.

Linda, Yes I do live in Vero.And I have an emergency situation...I need a doctor for my blood pressure ASAP that takes medicare!Here in Vero Beach or close by. Would you beleeve my husband and I just had it out with the doctors again,this morning? Yesterday they increased my Diovan from 80 to 160 and still told me to take all the other meds too. I asked the doctor if the Diovan came in 40 mg...he said No! I wanted to try a 80 +40 for a total of 120 instead of going up to 160 so quickly.The doctor told me NO they do not come in 40. Well I searched on the computer...and found out they do have a 40...so then I called my pharmacy and YES they do come in 40...and they told me to tell my doctor to call them. Diovan also comes as Diovan HCT...which contains a diuretic... SO I take that to mean...instead of me taking the Diovan and triamtrene ...I could maybe take the Diovan HCT ...and have 1 less presription and bottle of pills to deal with!? My primary and cardio. doesn't know that Diovan comes in 40 mgs.??? I need another now and,TODAY for a second opinion! Someone help me please! I was so upset..I called my husband home and had him call the pharmacy too...to check the info.I hate to be carrying on like I am..but I'm so upset..I feel like I'm having a heart attack! My husband was with me at the doctor's office yesterday and heard this doctor tell me that there is no Diovan in 40 mgs. Do you know of anyone I can call to report them? Or a refferral service? I guess i will spend all day..looking thru the yellow pages........

Well I tried to get in to see the head doctor today...because i don't know if I can make it to the 15th and it's a NO go! I also called my doctors and told them they were mistaken about the Diovan not being available in 40 mgs...no one has called to apologize and I have an appointment on the 8th for a second opinion on these blood pressure meds.I also took a small tranquilizer to calm me down....and had a big cry! I haven't cried about my daughter yet..just sniffles......I'm crying enough today to make up for lost time....maybe it will relieve some of the pressure.It has hurt me so much to know that these doctors really don't know what they are doing...or saying.

Peggy, I just got off the phone with a physicians referral service in Vero Beach and they gave me some leads to check out. If you so not mind sharing the name of your current cardiologist and your curren family doctor, i will check into the ones I was told were personally known and check them out. I also am awaiting a return call from our cardiologist here in Orlando to see if he knows of anyone in your area. I am working on this and glad you have an appointment for a second opinion on the meds.

I am very happy that you are crying. It is a good sign and it is something you have needed to do for a long time. I am sorry that I do not know the circumstances surrounding the loss of your daughter, but I do know that God never gives us more than we can handle though we do not always believe it. God has the ability to instantly perform a miracle as he has done for me with an ovarian turmor that he caused to disappear, but a lot of time it is how we handle the adverse things that come our way that he uses for his glory and he rewards us for our faith.

Journal writing is one of the most emotional and relaxing and inexpensive therapys around. I am serious about sitting down and writing a letter to your daughter to tell her how much you miss her, how much you love her, what you miss about her nothing being around, talk about some of the wonderful memories you have and tell her how you feel. Write a letter to your living daughter and express your disappointment, anger, frustration, love, everything. Write a letter to God telling him about your anger that he did not save your daughter. It is okay to tell God you are angry. In the beginning those writings will be angry and full of bad words, etc but as the emotions begin to lessen as tears fall and fall and fall you will begin to write calmer and as you continue to write you will begin to learn about yourself and the depth of your faith in God. I have had to do that numerous times and have volumes of journals. I am not proud of some of the things I have written but they were necessary for my healing and they helped me heal. They helped me learn about myself, and they brought me oh so much closer to God. When I feel my blood pressure going up I begin writing and in the end I am emotionally drained, exhausted and sleep the best I have ever slept because everything I had been mulling over in my mind and holding inside had been let out.

You do need your meds regulated and if they suggest placing you in the hospital for a few days to wean you off meds and begin new ones then please do it. Meds can screw up your life as my husband is discovering and as I discovered years ago. I no longer blindly take meds without knowing everything about them and I discuss each one, side effects, etc with my doctor before leaving the office and then discuss any concerns with the pharmacist. I am here. I will send you my home number via email in case you need or want to call me sometimes. I have unlimited long distance so I can always call you right back if you say this is Peggy and I have a wrong number.

My heart and prayers are with you, my friend. Hang in there and that is an order. Linda

I have already begged the nut hospitals in both counties to take me...but they told me that ain't no way to get my blood pressure meds fixed...that's not how the hospitals work!And I begged the head doctor to get me in sooner...but NO.. me being a new patient...no can do! Which I understand she has her way of doing things....so hey my doctor must have told her it is not an emergency ???LOL

Peggy, I understand your frustration. Best way to get into the nut house is to tell them you think you may hurt yourself since you are feeling really down. Of course you will then be there for at least three days. If you admit yourself voluntarily you get to ask to leave after three days. You can always go to the ER and tell them the same thing and ask to be voluntarily admitted. Peggy, I am trying to help you because I care and hear someone crying out for help. I don't know what else to do at this point. Linda

I wonder..if i'm being bounced around between these 3 doctors..because they don't want to clean up each others slop?I heard this saying years ago..from a doctor when seeking a second opinion for a gangleon(sp)cycst My youngest daughter had removed from her wrist, when she was 5? The doctor I called for a second opinion said"you're not asking me to clean up someone else's slop,are you"...

Peggy, I don't know if you are currently seeing any of these doctors but they were suggested by my cardiologists as being decent. He said you really need to be seen by a top person and said the Mayo Clinic in Jacksoville would be a good place to go for an inpatient stay to get you sorted out and meds regulated. Here are the docs he suggested and I checked on several of them.

Cardiologist

Seth Baker (He is a DO and they tend to use different methods sometimes and I really like them. He specializes in Internal Medicine along with Cardiology and would be a great regular doc) or Charles Celano (he is a medical doctor and cardiologist specializing in cadiovascular disease)

Family doctor/internist

Robert Moore, Dennis Saver or Joshua Shipley

They should all take your insurance.

If you are currently seeing any of these then you may wish to try another. I hope this helps and Peggy, I only wish the best for you. I have traveled miles just to get good medical care. When I was in Tallahassee I traveled to Jacksonville and Gainesville for second opinions and I was referred by my local doctors. You have to work to find a good medical team and no they do not always think they are cleaning up another doctor's slop. If they are truly a good doctor then they are concerned about giving you the best care. I do not always tell them I am seeking a second opinion but that I am seeking a doctor who knows what he is talking about and who is genuinely interested in trating my problems and providing quality care. I have sometimes gone through three or four docs before finding one I felt good about. I have learned to do my research and to ensure I have the best care avilable. I am still looking into physicians in your area and will let you know what I discover. I CARE ABOUT YOU and I AM CONCERNED. Linda

Linda, Thank you..I have an appointment in the next town..for monday..I'll need my husband to drive me..if I don't feel better by then. Those doctors are excellent I have heard about them...but they couldn't get me in. Please keep that list for me. or hope it doesn't get cancelled.LINDA..you are truely amazing!!! THANK YOU!!!! I did manage to get 6 hours of sleep last night. I do need a new doctor...I have enough scrips for my neighborhood as it is.....