Peggy, I would keep the appointment you have and follow through on it. A secind opinion is always wise. See what he has to say and go from there. I want only the best for you. Linda

Peggy:

I've just recently started looking at the conversations page and have read your posts. It sure sounds like you do need to stick with it until you find a doctor who has the time and patience to listen to you and work with you. It also sounds a though you have several different things going on at once, and it never ceases to amaze me how a problem in one system of the body can affect another, as well as treatment for one problem causing another! The body is so complex!!!!

I am a retired cardiologist. You have been doing a good job in researching your meds and potential side effects, but if you ever have a specific question, I can try to answer it for you. The only other thing that kept coming to mind while reading about all your problems was that sometimes a psychologist or social worker who does counseling turns out to be more affordable than a Psychiatrist (MD). (And in my experience they often tend to have a more listening ear, rather than just start prescribing mood changing meds.) This coupled with a good internist or cardiologist who will communicate with the counselor when needed regarding prescribing medication can be a helpful combination. Antidepressants, when used properly, can really help stabilize things so that you are then able to work through the things happening in your life! I've even seen them work as great antihypertensives in patients who have a lot of bad things going on at home at the time, since how we are feeling can have a lot of influence on blood pressure some times.

I must emphasize that as a physician I know that I should not and will not, attempt to solve someone's medical problems on line! But I can be here for you to answer any general questions you may have......never lose hope - someday you will be able to look back on these days and be thankful you tredged through them, one day at a time.

Deb

Deb...so nice to hear from you!Is there a possibilty I am having a reaction to all of these meds? Is it considered appropriate for a doctor to tell you its not the meds..it's in your head? And how is one to take this? Just a continuous stream of increasing meds and never considereing the possibilty of decreasing a dose seems odd to me!

Deb, Would it be normal practice for a primary doctor to prescribe clonidine to a patient that has a documented history of depression, prior to his prescription?Even if it was 7-8-10 years prior? Is clonidine used for long term treatment of high blood pressure...being that is a fast acting med?This doctor does remember my prior history well? Heck if I know..he moved a few times and didn't even tell me! How much does he know about me or does he just read from the top page pretaing to my last visit...I know doctors are busy sometimes...but they should be good at what they do..right! Oh I don't even know how many records they have on me... but it is evident that we obviously can not discuss things...can we...clonidine can affect diseases of vesssels...what does this mean? I have a lot of questions...should I be ashamed or fear being locked up in the looney bin? another scrip will drive me over the edge I'm sure...unless I get some good answers to some of these questions!OH...about a month or 2 ago..I was feeling poorly and asked to go back on paxil...wow.. was that a mistake! For whom? me or him?Paxil and I were best friends...started in 93 until...98?Guess what was going on in my life then...I soon grew tired of hearing all of the counsoulers problems of their mother being a !@@#$ and one being so happy she divorced her alcoholic ex husband and got remarried,,but was upset because her dog was urinating on the carpet under her piano and was thinking about putting down tile.......shall I continue...about how I needed to take pills to cope because other people in my life etc. were behaving badly!Is depression a normal occurence to some of lifes ups and downs? An example would be..if this doctor got bad reputation or lost his practice and got slightly depressed...maybe it would'nt bother him at all maybe he has another job of some sort waiting for him etc. ..is this normal or should he take a bunch of pills?.....your comment is welcome.

You sound as though you have really had unfortunate experiences with the doctors you ended up seeing. Yes, it's not unusual for someone to prescribe Clonidine to a patient who had depression in the past - but ONLY if a wide variety of other antihypertensives absolutely didn't work. And at the same time, that doc should explain to the patient the slight possibility of the depression recurring and to be alert to this. Most importantly, as I said it is not a first line medication for HTN these days - there are so many others that have fewer side effects. Medicine unfortunately is not an exact science and sometimes trial and error is the only way to find which drug works and doesn't at the same time produce side effects in that particular patient. BUT you must have a good physician who is patient with you and gives you the time you need to express your concerns - and then keep that communication line open. Your problems all sound complex, making you the type of patient that needs an extremely good relationship with a very good internist. I'm never one to tell people to continually hop from one doctor to another, but it sounds as though you do still need to find that certain one doc who will take the time to work closely with you, and whom, more importantly, you trust. I wish that I could help you find that person, but being new to Florida and now retired, I don't have the contacts down here like I did up north! Be patient, keep on searching, and never stop trying your best to keep taking good care of yourself.

Deb, what is the cause of edema in your feet and legs? My left foot seems worse.redness and swelling and sometimes its bad on both...

In some patients, edema in the lower extremities can be a result of certain medications. Other common causes are fluid retention from a number of different reasons ranging from diet to any of several endocrine disorders. If it's something that is minimal and just seems to come and go, it's usually nothing to worry about - even if it is due to a medication that is important to take for other reasons. In other words, it's really not all that uncommon, and also usually not a sign of anything serious, unless it's severe and consistently worsening.

If you are prone to it,you can try to lessen or eliminate it by paying more attention to your diet and eliminate foods high in sodium. This means not just foods that TASTE salty (like potato chips, etc.) A lot of processed, canned and frozen foods have tons of sodium in them even though they do not taste "salty". Also, if at the end of a day you notice they are more swollen than usual, lay down on the couch with your feet higher than the level of your heart (or on the floor with your feet up on the couch) and you'll see the swelling go down within an hour or so - a good excuse to lay back and relax for a while!!

Oh,I know about the processed food thing,salt and retention of water .And a sodium restrited diet reducing Bp....I think this might be a circulation problem too? All of the different colors from very red..to purplish blue! My stress levels are not getting any better around here either...I had a phone call yesterday...from what I thought was a detective looking for my deceased daughter...concerning her boyfriend of which I have no idea where he is..as I have told eveyone in this state.Come to find out..it was her car insurance co. calling me! I was so hurt..that they took it upon themselves to continue to call and harass me from unknown number..after I have told them everything I know.I called the state ins. comission and filed a complaint.I'm hurting enough...and have plenty going on as it is...I just don't need any bull.Sorry for the select use of some of my words...use your own......Do they think I am hiding that nasty being in my pocket? Now if anyone wants to pay me a considerable sum......to try and find that thing...NO I'm so tired of being taken advantage of...they can find that thing if they try(maybe).....I just don't want to hear his name again!My daughter was of age when she died and she is gone from this earth and that skunk is not going to continue to bother me. I'm not going to let anyone bother me anymore....

I'm terribly ill this morning..I just took my blood presure it is 177/104 ...I wonder if the hospital will keep me or just send me home to these other doctors again?

Peggy, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Kat

Guess how my daughter died?Guess who wasn't around and was partying and could'nt care less? Guess who kept her secret for 6 months before she died to keep from hurting someone?My daughter was only 24 and had that same boyfriend for 5years.... she had a breast deformity...and was very self conscious.....so I'm sure she wasn't sleeping around...but who really knows....Guess who put my daughter thru 5 years of hell? Why was she so needy that she needed him? They had no children...I feel blessed...yet sadden.....I miss her so much.... Yes my daughter died from the complications of AIDS....

What is the difference between.. Family practice..internal medicine and DO ?

Well...I found a human with intelligence.. and he's a doctor,too! :o) He told me more in 20 minutes.... than the other one has in 7 years?... let's see where this leads too......... Peggy

A family doctor is a general practioner who practices the specialty of family medicine. Also called family physician, family practitioner.

An Internist is a physician specializing in internal medicine.

D.O. or doctor of osteopathy. Osteopathy is the body of medicine that originally used strictly manipulative techniques for correcting somatic abnormalities thought to cause disease and inhibit recovery. However, over the past century, osteopathy has embraced the full spectrum of medicine (to different degrees across the world), including the use of prescription drugs and surgery, in addition to manipulative techniques.

A family doctor treats all general problems with the body. He deals with diseases and illnes in all ages of a family and does not specialize in any particular area. He generally refers patients to specialists if he feels incapable of handling an area that requires more treatment than what he can handle.

An Internist deals with all of the internal organs of the body and is a tad more specialized than a family doctor.

A D.O. utilizes modern medicine and techniques, but is not afraid to look outside the box for what may be causing a problem. He also will refer to a specialist when he feels it is warrented.

I am glad you located someone who listened and took the time to chat with you. I hope you follow through with this person. Linda

It's not going to be a miracle over night thing! I'm so ill ..I can't drive right now. So this means my husband will have to miss some work to drive me to the appointments and lab etc...until I feel better. This sure does upset me. Oh well....I guess I'll have to adjust, to this as well. Peggy

So glad to hear you found someone who can communicate with you well! That is much more important than whether or not he is a Family Practitioner, Internist, or D.O. Linda gave you a good definition for each. I've known very competent and caring docs of all three categories that would be able to help you, so wouldn't worry too much about how he got to where he is now. If he is smart, can communicate and listen to you, and patiently work with you to help get you healthier he's golden! Good luck!

Deb

Peggy I am sorry about your daughter I will keep you in my prayers. About the sweeling on your legs . Have you had a cardiac cath or any kidney test?

Maureen, Thank you. I had every test done for the heart 6 years ago...I can't remember the blood tests for the heart though.All of those records are gone? This new cardio, did an echo/ultra sound and no blood. .........then I went to a new doctor for a second opinion yesterday...and he ordered extensive lab work/tests..for blood and kidneys today...I hope to learn more! I don't like going to doctors or taking pills..but I dislike, not feeling well even more! LOL You seem like you have some knowlege...as far as heart tests ,blood work and kidneys... Thank You! This new doctor is willing to be a decent person...and mentioned cushings disease? He also told my husband and me..that some of that medicine I'm on is bad stuff...he had put someone on the same stuff once..and found out the hard way! Thank you,again! Peggy

Peggy
Since you mentioned purplish red ....that could be circulation , swelling in the feet can also be from your kidneys or heart. So That's why I am suggesting echocardiogram, vascular studies or renal ultrasound, but then these are only suggestions because I am not your doc Peggy. Cardiac catherization would show if you have any blockage. High blood pressure ,if you read up on it can affect your heart and kidneys, that's why you have to try your best to control the stress so that the blood pressure can also be controlled. Keep in mind that your other daughter also needs you ,and you do need to take care of your stress so that you can be around longer. I know it's easier said than done but ..........

I know i need to lighten up on this forum usage,too! LOL I find it stressful at times?LOL...I just find it so interesting at times....

Peggy, Maureen is giving good advice also. YOU and YOU alone is the only person who can change your life and the stressors in your life. Remember I am talking from experience. As things get stressful here at home I sometimes vent here or when I get really stressed I walk away to keep my overstressed emotions and feelings from getting hurt and from hurting people here who mean the world to me. That is why I have not posted much lately.

As badly as you feel, you still need to focus on life and the joy in it. Yes, I know it is hard when you feel so bad and when nothing seems to be going right, but I then find a location either outside or near a window where I can see some of the majestic things that God has created and I have a long conversation with him. That tends to calm me and brings a sense of peace to my soul though my body may still hurt. I suffer daily yet I keep working and living and trying to find joy in the people around me and not focus on my own pains. It is extremely difficult at times as the sun gets hotter and I feel like I am going to colapse any minute at work. I sometimes don't think I am going to make it another minute, but God gets me through somehow. I keep focusing on the fact that my husband wants more train track and if I can just finish the day I can afford to buy some for him. That would bring him joy and thus me happiness.

I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter and the illness she acquired, but you are not responsible for the choices she made in her life as you are not responsible for the choiced your surviving daughter is making. You can attempt to force her to change her lifestyle but more than likely you will end up pushing her away. You can practice tough love and refuse to keep rescuing her when she makes mistakes. Sometimes she needs to learn there are consequences and she will have to pay the price not someone else. You can always be there with your arms open to love her and comfort her, but not enable her to continue in the lifestyle she is chosing to follow.

I feel your pain and in a way you are doing your journaling here on the forum and if that helps you release your anger and frustration then we will listen. You do need to get the anger out of your system and that is why I suggested you write letters to your deceased daughter and the guy she was with just to get the feelings out of your system. You then need to record the letters to a tape recorder and listen to them over and over until you get tired of hearing them. You will eventually learn to let go. When my mother died I had to write several letters to her about how angry I was with her and how I was hurt and then I began writing letters about memories and how much I loved her and she me. I am at peace and have fond memories and I no longer live with any regrets or anger. I still have stressors and I still allow them to cause my blood pressure to rise, but I am also witnessing firsthand how high blood pressure can destroy you body as that is my husband's main problem. His uncontrolled blood pressure and cholesterol through the years created the aneurysm that ruptured in his brain before I met him and created the heart attack and strokes he has suffered along with the clogged arteries in his heart and kidney and all the other problems he has. I am suffering from retinopathy due to my diabetes and high blood pressure. I am terrified of losing my sight and I am trying desperately to take as little medicine as I can and yet keep my problems under control. I check my blood pressure twice a day and I take the meds my doctor prescribes after I research them and ask a lot of questions. I try to be an informed patient and my doctor appreciates that.

I wish I had a therapist locally but I find it difficult to find someone I can trust. It sometimes takes me a year of two to get through the trivial things before I can open up and work on what is wrong with me. I have learned through my years of therapy how to handle a lot of problems but sometimes I need that professional to moniter my bipolar disorder. I have been in remission for 7 years. I still have minor mood swings and believe me I ask for the medication when I feel like I am losing control. I have no shame in admitting I need help at times and have found it very beneficial. I even had to put up with all the taunting by my own family that I was seeing a shrink, etc, but I know I did what was best for me.

Work with this new doctor and I hope he continues to listen and work with you. Peggy, you are lifted in prayer each day and I know God is holding you in His arms. Remember with God all things are possible. Linda

Linda, It's tough..I'm so tired and my feet and joints hurt so bad! I was doing so well...I started in the house and back in my garden...and then had that bad bout with the meds...and i don't have to tell you about life's other little ups and downs...My husband ripped out the bathroom and now it seems our help has been delayed! Geesh....and then my family on the west coast...and his family here on the east coast...and yes my daughter...her prince charming has reverted to a frog and she is accutely aware...of the circumstance!...of being stuck with all the bills of an apartment. I hope things are going well for you and that you and your husbands health improve and that you can enjoy the inner peace that you have,by taking it one day at a time with Gods help. Peggy

Peggy, I hope you are following through with your new doctor and adhering to his or her advice. I am taking things a day at a time and enjoying what I can from life. I spent the day yesterday (Sat) with Beth7Happy at the EPCOT Flower and Garden show and had a great time. We even got to see Davey Jones in concert. There were so many beautiful flowers and the butterfly house was wonderful.

I get tired of thinking of my glass as half empty so I have to focus on filling it up with joy. There are days when I feel as if there is no hope in the world, but then I focus on small things and life gets better. At the moment I am having to deal with my husband who can not find that small spark in life. It grows difficult at time and it hurts my sould to watch him, but I love him dearly and am here for him the best I can be. I am alwsays here as a shoulder to cry on or just an ear to listen for you and to share in your joys. Happy Mother's Day.

Remember - even though you have lost a child you still have one to love and that is one more than I have ever had. I have my cat and my plants but really would love to have had a child or two or three, but that was one of the things I had to accept that was not part of God's plan for me. I accepted it and move on, Instead I shower all the children I run into at Disney with my love. Take care, Linda

Well...I went to the head doctor! Nice trip! She said she wouldn't put another pill in here until a MD got everything figured out with the other meds,I'm on!And she agrees the swelling in my feet isn't from depresssion etc. either!......and yes this severe insomnia...is probably from the bp meds,too!And she wants me to feel free....to find a doctor that can straighten out all of these bp meds!So I'm back to meds and doctors......just like dumb me knew all along! Peggy

Well it sounds like you've had a busy day. I'm glad you went to see her and she has confirmed your feelings about the meds.

I sent you an email through Garden Web about Thursday.
Marion

Marion,I must have deleted it...I've been up since 1:30am an just took a 2 hour nap.I think I deleted it! Are we expecting rain for thursday? I know I can't take the heat with these meds and feeling bad,,,but late afternoon would put you going home to your family in rush hour traffic.We'll get it figured out.We can just chase and follow the shade here! LOL Peggy

Linda,I'm so glad you and Beth had a nice time at Epcot! My husband and I went to a couple of old nuseries Sunday,just to get out of the house because it was depressing!Wish I could have enjoyed myself more...but my feet were swollen to burst and I was so tired.It was nice to get out of the house...and see all of the plants. Peggy

Peggy, Have you a list of things you'd like us to do on Thursday? Should we bring a wheel barrel? We would like to come early AM so we can finish up before it gets too hot.
Marion

Marion, For the outside, it's just a million and one little messes!No sense in you bringing a big tool or cart.My garden wagon fell apart in the weather and as soon as I get the garage empty again I'll get a smaller wagon that pulls and rolls easier.(I lost both of my shoulders in a fall years ago)....I don't even know if it's worth all your time to come all the way up here!All of these projects are spread over the entire property.I need to weed and thin my bromeliads...but they'll eat you up! (I don't want them to eat you you up.)Just a million and one things to do around here.And most are just 10 minute projects.The heavy duty stuff will just have to wait,until I find some carpenters.I wish it was some heavty duty work you could tackle..but like always around here the big projects have always been put off or are on hold.You could just come up here and look around and give me some ideas...and see if there's any plants you want to take home with you..Maybe we could do this another time. Peggy

Peggy, Peggy, Peggy. What are we going to do with you?
You ask for help, then put your friends off time after time.
You say the jobs are huge and overwhelming, then say they are little messes. Do you ever go back and read the things you write?

Take some advice from an old lady: just get off your sofa and do it. I ache everyday from severe arthritis and I've had my share of tragedies in 88 years, including the loss of a child and a dear husband, so I know a little about all this. You are right, you'll never get over that, but that poor lost darling would want you to keep living and trying and hoping. She would want you to be caring for the living, including your plants and most especially, taking care of yourself.

Do this: spend 10 minutes each morning and 10 minutes each afternoon, no matter how bad you feel, cleaning up one little spot in your garden. Start at the front door and go clockwise around the house. Don't change from this pathway and don't jump around from job to job. Just 10 minutes at a time, but do it twice a day. Do it, do it, do it. Do it for this old lady. No more whining. If your friends want to come and help, let them and welcome them with open arms. But when they are there, let them work. This isn't social hour, its help to get you back on your feet. Remember that you'll never get on your feet while you are sitting on your you know what.

A lot of people wish you well, but you'll wear that out if you keep singing the same sad song. Shut off your computer and go do your 10 minutes right now. You people all spend too much time on this thing! (I tell my daughter that all the time too so I'm not just getting on you about it.)

88 and hurting, but still have dirt under my fingernails!
Maggie

Oh Maggie, I'm so tickled that you are doing so well.And these messes are a matter of opinion wouldn't you say?...being that they are sight unseen. And I haven't played games with anyone on this forum!And I would like to say I am in no dire need of friends on/from this forum also....because the truth is ...you never know what types you'll meet or invite to your home.I'm so tickled that you are doing so well and coping so well in your life...med,family,friend free? I manage to get a few things done and will continue to do...I'm a toughie like you! Peggy

Sometimes it helps to vent and express your feelings and sometimes you can find no one to listen. Gardeners are a special breed in that we care about living things both human and plant. I have met several people from this forum and they are great people. People who offer to help are rare and it is hard to accept help even when you ask for it. MsMarion and gang - go to Peggy's and do the job and get her to the point where she can continue to do upkeep. Maggie, you are right about getting up and doing something everyday. Wish I had the time right now to do more. I am one of those people who find it extremely difficult to ask for help and thus keep struggling on my own.

Life is too precious not to enjoy every minute dispite the pain. I know what it is to hurt, but I never give up or try not to. I have been to the pits of depression so know how it can affect people. I have been on the pinacle of joy and know that feeling. I am now attempting to survive day by day. Hubby is in hospital once again with congestive heart failutre and beginning renal failure and I have no one to turn to for assistance or help here. I just keep going and graying that God continues to give me the strength i need to make it through each day.

Please, accept offers of help, Peggy and enjoy the friendship and gifts these dear people are offering you. Marion and Lisa are sweethearts. I hope to meet you soon myself. Linda

Linda, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.That congestive thing can be a pain in the butt.I have known several people with it.The only thing I can offer to do for you at this point is pray for you and your husband and tell you, that you are more than welcome to e-mail me anytime and just talk about anything and everything!I don't think I'm having trouble getting e-mails?These health problems and the stress of everyday living can get worriesome and tiresome and just an ocassional chat can be comforting and take your mind off of a few things . e-mail me any time. and I hope I get to meet you someday,too. Peggy

thank you, Peggy as prayer is the best thing anyone can do. I am battling financial strain from missing so much work to be with Lee, health issues of my own, lack of sleep, and emotional distress along with dealing with Lee's children who regardless of his health are still pushing for him to travel 9 hours to Key West to attend his granddaughter's wedding, attend a 4-5 hour long reception and be around everything he is not suppose to eat or drink. The doctor has said no, but the kids keep pushing. I told him the choice was entirely his. I can't fight them anymore as I am too tired and worn out. Thank you for your kind offer and know you are in my prayers. Linda

Hey Linda! I'm a sweetheart too! LOL!
Kat

Peggy - did you really mean to say that you are hesitant to have anyone from the forum come to help you because "...you never know what types you'll meet or invite to your home."? You've asked for help so many times and now Kat, Marion and Lisa are ready to put on the garden gloves and help. (Kat - you ARE a sweetheart, too!) The first time I offered to come help was back in March and others offered then too.

I think CraneLady is trying to help and has offered some good advice. I suspect she truly is a toughie. (Maggie, I love the line "Remember that you'll never get on your feet while you are sitting on your you know what."! That one is worthy of a LOL.)

You can all stop your games! I sent an invitation and/or accepted an offer of help days,ago.I take that to mean in all honesty ...that I would have gotten an e-mail from someone by now? So who is playing games? Like I've said before, I have traded with people on and off of this forum and several have been to my home.And the norm has been prior contact via e-mail concerning a day and time.I have yet to be contacted as such!Correct me if I'm wrong! I have no intention of keeping...this part 3 thread going forever,either!..it's getting too long, today is wednesday the 17th isn't it?still no e-mail.....So if there's a game, it isn't on my end... All conversation has been on an open forum... for the entire world to see...and if there were games...it sure wasn't me! LOL 2a.m. and tired and have busy day ahead, daughter getting advice on oral surgery and I have a doctors appointment!still haven't gotten an email....so if I happen to get an e-mail today..LOL Should I make it a quickie for tomorrow LOL....if I had deleted e-mails that could have been mentioned on this forum,too! But like I said I have gotten no e-mails. Nothing like raising the excitment and expectations and apprehension of a first meeting or trade?...Peggy

Peggy I sent you an email which you promptly said you deleated! I am now going to leave this subject alone...I am very hurt and angry.

Marion, I said I might have deleted it! I'm hurt and angry,too!

I just checked all of my recently deleted e-mails.and saw no one from the GW forums.So does this mean there is a problem with sending e-mails? I have spoken with others from other forums....maybe it's just the Florida forum?

Will you all just stop it, please.

Yes, Kat, you are a sweetheart also. I couldn't remember who the third person was going when I posted. I am sorry for omitting you.

Peggy, I am sending you an email now. It is 6:32 AM. We will see if the email works. I know I have not received several eamils sent via the forum.

Before everyone jumps to conclusions and assumes the worst here - let's stop, take a deep breath and look at the overall picture. We are here to help one another and offer a hand of friendship via gardening. We always take a risk when we allow strangers to enter our homes, but if you never take a chance - you never know the joys of delight and the pain of disappointment.

Tiday is Wednesday and there is still time to get the xhow on the road. I wish I could come and assist also, but unfortunately my agenda is overbooked. Please, please everyone take that deep breath and let it out slowly and remember we are all gardeners who enjoy being around other gardeners and lending a helping hand when needed.

Linda

Linda, It's 7:10am ...and I did not get your email!Everything's fine here...there are always other days and other weeks..I've been up since 1:30 this morning or close to 2 am and I'm already ragged out!I just wanted to be prepared for possible company/visitors/guests etc., tomorrow. That's just the way I am! Nothing fancy, to put on a show...just to make sure everyone is comfortable....including myself! Thanks again...you saved the day,again! Peggy

And for everyone's information...I just updated my membership and edited my member page.I'll see if this helps with my future e-mails,coming and going.

Tested you updated page. Just sent email at 11:16