(((Hopeful)))I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Marion

I wish to express my sincere condolences at the loss of your beloved sister. You were being watched and visited by your mother's spirit. She was preparing you for your sister's passing and letting you know that she was there with you and that your sister would he with family and friends and would not die alone. What your sister experienced is a normal occurance. She was being welcomed to the after life. I will elaborate to give you further evidence both from my father's passing and a near death experience I went through.

I literallu died and was brought back to life at the emergency room. I floated above my body and watched the activity taking place below. It was such a peaceful feeling and then I felt someone tap me on my shoulder and I turned and there stood my girlfriend's mother who had died ten years ealier. She took my hand and we began walking towards this bright but yet soft light. There were shadowy figures walking around in the light and I was happy and glad to be in this beautiful place. I couldn't wait to get to the entrance so that I could see all the people. Suddenly the most beautiful angel you have ever seen appeared in front of me and told me that I would have to turn back because it was not my time. I was devastated but the angel showed me the image of my mother praying and crying and my father looking distraught and I knew I could not leave them so I turned back. Once again I floated above my body and then as the doctor administered a powerful drug into my veins I drifted back into my body and woke up back in this world. I have been there and experienced it personally.

I was with my father the day of his death. I had a dream the night before and I was visited by my mother who said she needed Daddy and he was coming home. I had a long conversation with her and she told me about heaven and how beautiful everything was. She told me I would be okay and it was time. The following morning I went to the extended care facility where my father was and I knew the time was drawing near. Later in the afternoon my father began speaking to a spot on the wall below the television and he kept up a conversation with people I could not see. He said, "Yes, Lord is has been a nice life here on earth and I'm looking forward to heaven. Yes I can see you and I want to have you hug me. I am worried about my baby but I know you will take care of her." His conversation took place for over ten minutes and continued off and on the remainder of the evening. My brothers were there and when Jackie came up and touched the bed he looked at me and told me to make Jackie stop rocking the boat. When Anthony came up he told me to make him stop eating the end of his bed with the bulldozer. The last thing Anthony did before my father fell ill was to take his bulldozer, dig a hole in the backyard and bury all of Daddy's stuff. He told my father he would never use it again. When Anthony's wife touched Daddy he screamed like a banshee and like he was being burned with fire. He looked straight at her and said, "Get away from me devil." Jo was nice when she wanted to be but she was evil and vindictive to peoiple. Daddy saw her real soul. I had been told to ask a person two questions to determine if the end was near. I was the only person Daddy would talk to outside of his conversations with Jesus. I asked him if he had seen Momma and he said no, but that he was going to be with her in a little while. I then asked him if he had seen any angels and his response was, "Can't you see them? The room is full of them and one is sitting next to you with her arms around you." I then had to tell my father that I was going to be okay and that I could take care of myself. I had to give him permission to die. he went to sleep, stopped breathing and that was it.

Yes, the angels come in many forms, I have had visits from my mother and father and other angels all my life. I have had several miraclous medical cures that doctors can not explain. People are visited but most do not take the time to listen and hear. You were blessed with your mother's presence and the scent of her perfume was her way of telling you she was there.

I hope this helps some. Linda

Hi Hopeful -

I'm sorry about your sister. This must be a really hard time for you. Hang on tight, you'll be ok.

I don't think you need to find an explanation or even try to understand what happened. But please don't doubt what you or your sister experienced. When my Dad died last December, there were some odd things that happened and I finally just decided that even though I didn't understand them all, I know that my Dad loved me and that what went on was part of him saying goodbye. There's so much we don't know and I guess I'm of the opinion that we're not meant to know a lot of things.

But there are some things you do know. You know that your Mom loved both you and your sister. You know that your sister is not suffering now. And you know that your sister would not want you to be in pain because of her passing.

I talk to my Dad all the time. Does he hear me? I like to think so, but I don't know. I keep talking anyway.

Why not buy yourself some of that fragrance and enjoy it. It will comfort you and bring happy memories of your sister and your Mom.

Maureen

My thoughts and prayers are with you. When my father in law passed away a few weeks ago, I was sitting on my patio in the wee hours of the morning and heard windchimes. There are no windchimes even close - never heard them before or since. I asked my daughter in law if she heard them - she had not, but we received word about 15 minutes later that Grandpa had passed - about fifteen minutes ago......! Sometimes things happen that are simply to give us grace and peace. We can question them, or not ... sometimes it's just a gift given to us. We can receive - or not. Bless you.

Not many things harder than loosing a sibling. I am so sorry for your loss. And Beth, for your loss also.
I think anything is possible, especially when dealing with emotions as strong as those associated with a death. Since my mother passed in February I've had several moments when I felt her presence so strongly it seemed otherworldly. My brother has shared with me that he's felt it too.

I like Maureen's suggestion: buy some of the fragrance and enjoy the memories it brings you.

Hugs,
Kate

Pat, I'm sorry for your loss. Beth, I'm sorry about yours also.

Lynne, Kate - thank you. Pat, I agree... yes do buy the perfume..

Pat, I am so sorry for your loss.

Ginny

I am so sorry.
I went thought the same thing this summer. Donna was a first cousin, 1 year younger than me. Both my Mom ( and her mother) co -parented her . It was easy because we lived about a mile from grandmas..... and we could ride our bikes back and forth.
So for me....she was one of my siblings.

I know that telling yourself " it happens to people all the time" is the intellectual thing to do to comfort yourself. But when it happens to you and you cant breath cause it feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest........ all the emotions win. Brain looses.

I find what helps for me is to have a separate calendar.... days marked for milestones in the decease life. ( birthday anniversaries etc ) .

Once again , I am sorry.

Hopeful, so sorry for your loss. It is not so strange. I think it was just a way of your Mother and Sister letting you they were both at peace and perhaps together.

When my Dad died, I had 2 experiences similar. One night the rocking chair was rocking on it's own, I was thinking of my Dad then and had this incredible feeling he was in the room with me. I could even smell his Old Spice! Another time I ws driving to Sanibel (my dad love to fish and all aquatic animals) I was feeling sad and thinking of my Dad and asked him to let me know if he could that he was ok. Then I apologized to God for 'testing' him. As I looked to the right side of the causeway a pod of Porpose all started jumping and walking on their tails. I never had to ask again.

I am most thankfull for all the kind responses. My sis suffered for so many years and now it,s finished. But boy I sure will miss her. I found your answers very comforting. Scents of Heaven, I expected you would have something special to say. I hope all is going better for you. Cindy, your story of the Porpoises reminded me of a similar incident that happened to a fellow environmentalist that was working on protecting the Manatees. She was feeling discouraged and while sitting on the boat ramp at Turkey Creek she asked God if he wanted her to do this and if so please give her a sign. She said minutes later a manatee surfaced right next to her and spit water on her. I can sense the excitement you must have felt seeing the Porpoise dance. I have a feeling this thread could be turning into something very positive. I truly appreciate the opportunity to share thaughts and experiences.

Hopeful, one of the things that amazed me after my Mother died, she had struggled for a couple of years. I was her only care giver. When she died I had this huge relief wash over me. I almost felt guilty! I was not worring about her every minute of the day, I was not concerned if she was comfortable and being treated properly. It almost frightened me that I felt so light! I had been worring if I was doing the right thing. It was an amazing peace that came over me knowing she was with God and no longer suffering.

I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful response. It helps to hear others experiences and kind words. Cindee, your post about the relief that follows was timely. My niece who actually spent 3 to 4 hours every day in the nurseing home with her mom for the past l8 months confessed a sense of relief and felt guilty. I assured her with all she had done in the past several years for her mom she had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about and that I have so much respect and love for her for all she had done. I will share your post with her. I also was guardian for my Mom and had to make all the tough decisions but also felt guilty for the loss of stress and worry I had experienced. Sometimes I still wonder if there was something different I should have done. I think we need to realize we can't fix exerything, that's Gods job.

Hopeful, I also experienced a fweling of guilt when my father died because I was free to live my life for the first time in seven years, yet I do not regret the time I spent with him or my mother. When my father died (my mother had passed seven years prior) I knew that I had given him everything I could give that was in my power. I have two brothers that are fifteen and seventeen years older than me and they were both married. I am the one who stayed at home with my parents and took care of them. I had little money or a life of my own from birth to age forty-four when my father passed. I devoted my life to taking care of my parents and giving them anything and everything that I could that they wanted. My mother had always wanted to fly so we went to two away football games where she got to fly and she died after one of our driving out of town game trips. She died happy and I know that I did the best I could for her. My father wanted more than anything to take a road trip to Minnesota, but I could not take a month off work to take him nor did I have the money. My brothers are both worth a million dollars and they would not take him. I took him to see relatives and places I could afford to take him. I did the best for him and I spent a month sitting by his side at an extended care faci;ity while he slowly died from cancer. My brothers did not volunteer to be there and came to see him about once a week. Whe both my parents died I had such a sense of peace because I had done for them what I could, but I also felt guilty that I felt so free of worry and stress and pain once they passed. I had a dream shortly after my father died where both he and my mother visited me and told me it was time to think of myself and to live. They told me not to count on my brothers for anything and to make a world for myself and not let what my brothers had to say make me back down. I have attempted to do what they told me and for the most part life has been good. I may never be rich or famous but I enjoy volunteering at Give Kids the World and being with my plants and friends. I think my father guides my hands with my plants and helps me to grow things that usually will not grow. God put me here to be a caregiver and I took care of my parents and now I am taking care of my husband. God is blessing me in so many ways and he sends me reminders of my parents by allowing them to be angels to me and visit from time to time. There is truly an afterlife as there are angels and visits from those passed over to comfort, warn and protect us. Know you did the best and treasure the memories and keep them alive. Celebrate birthdays each year with a cake, etc and have scrapbooks or photoalbums to look at each major holiday. Keep their memories alive and your life will be more enriched as you hold and treasure the love they gave you while still alive and you will be rewarded by frequent visits or hear the soft whisper from your mother of sister when you need it to help comfort you or to tell you things will be okay. Hold those strange and unusual events close to your heart and feel the comfrot they offer.

Beth, my heart goes out to you as do my prayers and condolences. Linda

Pat, Beth and anyone who has experienced loss - I guess that's all of us - there is another site on the GardenWeb you may want to check out. It's the Grieving Forum. A few weeks after my mother died I visited there, then spent most of the night reading the posts and crying. Actually it was a good experience and helpful to see that so many others were feeling the same things I was feeling: loss, guilt, relief, pain, that strange expectation that something else is going to happen, a sudden intense fear of losing other people in my life, etc. Give those folks a try and see if the site helps. If nothing else, you may have words of comfort for someone else in pain.

Kate

Here is a link that might be useful: Grieving Forum