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janann_gw

Spouses of Hosta lovers or Hosta Lover's Lovers

janann
10 years ago

From time to time I see posts mentioning spouses. And I have met couples who are both enthralled with hostas, and garden and shop for hostas together. Then there seems to be those whose spouses could care less and don't want anything to do with gardening, or maybe garden, but don't want anything to do with the hostas. My DH has been really darn patient about the whole thing. (Being married to me, he has to always be darn patient. :) ) But he has also been such a good sport and such a help with the harder things, such as digging in the bricks, or going with me to lug home heavy rocks, etc. But he was such a dear this week while I was gone, and I came home to a lovely surprise of him having dug in 37 of the 42 new stepping stones! (I will try to get a photo of this later and add it.) But I just thought it would be a fun topic to discuss. Are your spouses a part of your hosta gardening? Do they not like it? Tolerate it? I am just curious because, as with my girlfriends here, for the most part our DH's just seem to stand back and wait for us to need them for the hard labor.

J

Comments (35)

  • coll_123
    10 years ago

    Mine could care less. He did help me stack some stones for my raised beds because I do a bad job at that and he has more patience with it. But he has no real interest in the garden or my hostas.

  • jadie88
    10 years ago

    My man works loong hours (he is a medical resident), so I don't expect him to help out a lot. The garden is pretty much "my empire of dirt."

    What I do love, though, is that he really enjoys and admires what I do. He loves all the veggies from the garden, and he oohs and ahhs appropriately at the hostas. I love to grow stuff, he loves that I love to grow stuff, and we are happy as can be. :)

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    My hubby is appreciative of the veggies too! And he likes the garden, just not excited about the hostas. They are fine, but he would never plant one himself or go look for one. But he did point out that there was a hosta named Grand Master, and was happy when I got it, as he is a marathoner, and now a Grand Master. :) So he does have a hosta of his own. So that is why Sheila and I went to visit Jim's on a kayak goddess outing and left the hubbies at home.

  • User
    10 years ago

    About 40 years ago or so, my DH had 20 hosta (the green/white ones) that he bought and planted, and then through the years he divided them to populate the entire neighborhood and points beyond. He always thought that was IT with hosta, until I sent him my first online bare root order for several hosta from Plant Delights Nursery. He was amazed at the plantaginea blooms, and loved the bright leaves of Dick Ward and a couple of the others too....even though I was frustrated that some I ordered did not happen to be what we got!

    He left Mobile Memorial Day last year, and did not return until February this year, getting his house up north ready to sell......so I had the whole place to myself. He thought I had a max of maybe 120 hosta when he left. MMmmmm, he has a pretty good idea now that the count is around 350, and I won't disillusion him. He is the technically oriented, helps me with the chemical solutions to things, both hosta and other plants. He always has loved gardening, so we share that passion. He loves that "MY" hosta garden is so unlike anything he's ever seen any place else. He thinks it is another world, and that it is a result of my imagination. It is true, he is so logical, I am so intuitive. Plus, with no depth of experience growing hosta before last year (to speak of), I may indeed have a different approach to it. No prior expectations, so I am delighted with the whole garden.

    Right now, he is clearing out camphor tree seedlings, so I can locate in-ground hosta, along the driveway near the street. How he tolerates working in this heat and humidity, I do not know. His favorite hosta is Avocado, then Sagae.

    When I get the outdoor solar lights setup, we will have our cocktails and hors d'oeuvres in the middle of the fragrant hosta patch. Don't think you can beat that for a happy evening.

  • hosta_freak
    10 years ago

    My DW couldn't care less what I do. Let's just say she 'tolerates' my hosta addition! I spend most of my time when I'm in the garden,by myself. Although,she went with me a couple times,and actually picked out some nice hostas in my garden. Phil

  • don_in_colorado
    10 years ago

    All that, and great taste in hosta as well, eh Mocc? Sounds good!

    My wife, generally, has become an enabler. She often helps me pull weeds in the garden, but her Multiple Sclerosis symtoms flare up suddenly and fiercly when she's outside too long in high (80+ deg.) temperatures which often limits her to spring/fall participation. But that's all fine, she does what she can, when she can. She's slooowly coming around to the point where she can recognize and point out certain hosta (Guacamole, Luna Moth, Great Expectations, Paul's Glory and others she surprises me with) The only real issue is, she loves the lawn in back, I think it's a waste (of COURSE)! and we're toe-to-toe on that point of contention right now. She's been adamant, and I'm not going away, so... But that's really just a matter of taste, nothing pertaining to the gardens ever really escalates into a 'real' argument, just a lot of debate, y'know? So I have to say she appreciates what I've done with the hosta beds more and more as time passes. She was in awe of Jim Hartmann's (idiothe) threads of his garden pics, I think I showed them to her last night. Thanks, Jim; That's exactly the beautiful ammunition I need! ; )

    I'm optimistic she'll progress further in her coming-around.

    Regards,
    Don B.

  • robo (z6a)
    10 years ago

    I asked my husband for some information for this thread. Unfortunately I am competing with about four rye and gingers and Battlestar Galactica so his answers were brief.

    Interest level in hosta from 1-10: "6"
    Would visit hosta nursery with me: "yes." (Note from experience: one hour time limit for nursery visits)
    How many hosts in our yard can you name? "Two for sure. No, three!"
    Any per comments on hostas? "Thumbs up."

  • almosthooked zone5
    10 years ago

    My DH says "what ever makes you happy dear, why so many, they are nicer then I thought and how much more manure do they need? He has helped me considerably hauling sod out, Soil in helping with my projects like haul and collect rocks and driftwood that I can not live without. Now that it is filling in we sit back and he is actually commenting on it looking quite nice and restful. He never asks how many hosta or what I have spent .
    HAPPY WIFE..... HAPPY LIFE

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    LOL! I love all the different answers. Don please know that I have a dear friend with MS too. I ride Bike MS here in Iowa every year, and will as long as I can ride a bike. So bless her heart for helping when the weather permits. And bless your heart for trying to understand her attachment to the grass. If you just plant a few more each year, maybe she won't notice the grassy area is shrinking. :) But I love the different degrees of hosta spouses we all have. I forgot to mention that my hubby did actually water some when I was gone. And he actually added 10 feet onto the backyard hose so that I can now reach the corner of the rock garden! And he is attending the anniversary party tomorrow with me for the Russ O'harra hosta society here in IA. So we will see how that goes. But he gets to eat, and that always makes him happy. :)

  • TheHostaCottage
    10 years ago

    I am lucky because we both have the same addiction to hostas!

  • Pieter zone 7/8 B.C.
    10 years ago

    My DW loves to garden, but her focus is in a slightly different direction, if she had her way we'd have naught but lilies and roses. She can certainly name a high percentage of my hostas and has tolerated my forays into seedlings to the extent she actually was the one this spring who suggested we put up another shelving rack to hold all the trays with seedlings, gotta luv-er.

    After years of mugwamping about it she finally took the bull by the horn this spring and started to make hypertufa pots in a variety of shapes and sizes, using whatever we had kicking around that she thought would look nice. The bulk of what she made was INSIDE other containers in order to get a more finished look to them. She's planted them with mostly alpines and succulents and she sold quite a few of them in our yard sales in the spring. The partial bag of portland cement is still in the carport and she observed the other day that she's better use it up on some more pots before it absorbs too much moisture out of the damp fall air around here and hardens into a hard lump. I think I've helped creat an obsession here.....

    Pieter

  • WILDernessWen
    10 years ago

    He's taking me to Mr. Cory's Wildfower Gardens tomorrow for the 1st of our one- tank- trip vacation. I get to go golfing later in the week. I golf about as well as he gardens. Not!! Give and take, it's all good! WW

  • donna_in_sask
    10 years ago

    My husband is my workhorse...I tell him where to dig and he digs. He likes his vegetable garden but he leaves the flower gardening to me. He has never once told me to rein in my plant budget, but then he knows me well...I'm the thrifty one, so won't go too crazy.

    I asked him if he knew what hostas looked like, he said yes...they look like green leafy vegetables. THIS is why I don't allow him to weed the garden.

  • don_in_colorado
    10 years ago

    Janann, THANK YOU for riding Bike MS, we appreciate that very much.

    Great thread, too!

    Regards,
    Don B.

  • flower_frenzy
    10 years ago

    I do all of the gardening at our house. My DH was forced to work long hours pulling weeds, hauling rocks, etc. as a kid by his parents and it kind of soured him on the whole gardening experience. He is very helpful mowing the lawn and doing the big jobs that I'm not strong enough to do, though. He'll also walk around with me from time to time, letting me show him all of my hard work. He likes to sit in our garden and he says he finds it relaxing. I know he appreciates it, and I don't mind being the one to do most of the work because I actually find it enjoyable.

  • MadPlanter1 zone 5
    10 years ago

    My DH, like flower-frenzy's, had to work in his mom's vegetable garden as a kid and feels that was enough for a lifetime. He's great about helping me with the heavy stuff like wall building, mulching, and digging in compost, never says a word about my gardening budget, and even enjoys showing people around the garden. As far as he's concerned, all hostas are green, but if I want them, it's fine with him. He's even willing to stop at hosta nurseries and will do the watering if I can't. So he does the mowing, I take care of the garden, and we're both happy.

  • marricgardens
    10 years ago

    Mine doesn't do much gardening except the vegie garden. BUT, when I need help moving large plants, building new beds etc. he's there for me. He does go to nurseries with me and if I need to find him all I have to do is look in the hosta section!

  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    10 years ago

    Mine doesn't garden, but he will use a weedwhacker in the open areas that I haven't gotten to since the pups destroyed the yard and weeds have taken over. He often used to whack everything including the new plants I had put in. I tended to point out to him (in the nicest possible way of course) that the hosta and astilbe and Japanese painted ferns were not weeds. He sounded so pleased several years ago when he told me that he would be sure not to destroy the hosta because he knew what they looked like at long last. Yippee. Sadly, the hellebores, heuchera, astilbe, and ferns are apparently still on the hit list.

  • hostahosta
    10 years ago

    My DH is NOT a gardener, nor a hostaphile. He is very happy that I have a hobby I enjoy so much, but doesn't take part at all. He did go to Cory's with me once (because two other couples were going also, the husbands being golf buddies). We dug about 50 hosta from Mr. Cory's hills and DH toiled and sweated to push the wheelbarrows loaded with hosta UP the narrow paths to the parking area. That was three years ago. I've invited DH for a tour of 'our' garden this summer thinking He might like to admire my work and learn some names, but that has yet to happen. It is funny though that he knows exactly how many different cultivars I have in the garden!

  • bragu_DSM 5
    10 years ago

    My DW is coming around. She' on this health kick, and loves to weed.

    I let her.

    She kept complaining years ago about me building pergolas and planting hosta under them, eating away at the yard.

    That much less to mow.

    When things started to look good, she started inviting friends over.

    But you know, nothing is ever done enough to have people over.

    Excuse the work in progress, so many projects, so little time. You are in the middle of one, see something else, and end up having bunches of things going on simultaneously.

    Am I the only one like that?

    Went to a hosta nursery several weeks ago, mail order place in middle of an Illinois cornfield that doesn't mind visitors.

    I dragged her inside.

    She started picking up hosta. "This is cute," she'd say.

    So I got a bunch of starts. Fifty bucks later.

    We got home, she asked if I got anything I wanted.

    I just grinned.

    "You did fine!" I said.

    *I got a convert* and a big start on the mouse ears family.

    It all worked out just fine.

    She's coming around.

    ^_^ --~

    dave

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    I love everyone's stories. It is fun to see how much input everyone gets from their spouse. And it is nice to know that I don't have the only spouse that isn't really into my hosta love, but tolerates it. Though he did enjoy the Hosta Society anniversary party today. He said he had fun. Though there were forms on the table to fill out with your top 10 favorites and top 5 favorite minis. He said he couldn't name ten. But he could name five. The reason he could name five is that we are raising kittens that were born to a wild cat at a friend's hosta farm. So my son named them all hosta names, Queen Josephine, June, Whirlwind, Captain Kirk and Gunther's Prize. And he knows all the kittens names, so he knows five hostas. LOL By the way, anyone need a kitten? :) They all need homes. Dugan, my lapsitter computer kitty, doesn't want another kitty in the house. Let alone 5 more.

  • User
    10 years ago

    One option for keeping uninformed partners or non-gardening partners from weed-wacking the good stuff, is not a name tag so much as a sign with a $15 or $20 written on it, that will strike where it hurts, in the ole pocketbook. It will help the learning curve a lot.

    When my DH was weed wacking with his electric trimmer, he happened to drag the cord around a young ginkgo biloba tree I'd been babying for several years. He totally ringed the bark down near the ground, and effectively killed the upper growth. It is again sprouting from the bottom roots, but it is a slow grower, and probably won't be my height in what is remaining of my lifetime. So I bought a new one, the same height, and showed him the price for his inattention. Even in Mobile where trees in 15 gallon containers are reasonably priced, this was a $100 tree. But it is taller than me, and will be planted after the contractor finishes our renovation projects. Maybe this winter when it gets cool. I love the yellow fan-shaped leaves of the ginkgo which all fall on one day.....makes a great garden tree with no root problems. But it is a slow grower, so start as big as you can afford.

  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    10 years ago

    Hahaha. Love that suggestion, moccasinlanding!

  • keanaz5a
    10 years ago

    My DH does the edible food gardening and the lawn. I am in charge of all the decorative gardening. It's funny that he teases me and roles his eyes when I come home with more hosta and asks where am I going to put them and says we won't have any lawn left. But, he now knows some of their names and watches them closer than I do in the spring and tells me when the pips start showing. He does help with any of the hard work that I can't manage. He has dug many, many holes for me among maple roots to put spin-out bags in. And, I'm sure he appreciates them. He did tell me that he wants some really big ones. I think he's converting....lol

  • bragu_DSM 5
    10 years ago

    *This was so good I had to bring it back to top of thread*

    I love the stories.

    I especially like the *price tag* idea.

    Perhaps I should share the story where my DW missed with the hammer and broke the 40 percent off vase (for $45) I was going to put a plant in ...

    "That was a pretty vase," DW said.

    And DH bit his tongue, and didn't say a word. Stitches in tongue were expensive, though ...

    dave

  • stoc zone 6 sweden
    10 years ago

    My friend is coming around to appreciating them.He asked me to pick out 2 for his parents grave at the cemetery.I ordered him Big Daddy and Fragrant bouquet,he likes the blues as do i.

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Well my DH wins the prize. He hasn't divorced me or threatened to take away my spade, yet. I don't know if all of you saw the photos that Jim (Idiothe) posted of Sheila and I with our kayaks and bikes and the car completely loaded with hostas? Well in order to do that we loaded all our gear in our boats. It is my hubby's car. (both our names are on it, but it is his vehicle 98% of the time.) I drive the used Mommy van that gets used as a truck for hauling mulch and whatever. But the kayak rack is mine, and I can't load boats on my van due to a bad shoulder. So..... he is very particular about his car. He hates me putting the rack on, he will not drive on gravel, etc. So with my bad shoulder, and the heavy boats, I couldn't lift my end of Sheil's up very well. So the J cradles kept twisting and falling down. I finally found a man to help us. We finally got it loaded, made it home... and there are dents all over the top of the car. Bad dents, like really big hail. :( Like will never come out. I feel awful, I do. Whats done is done, and he isn't holding it against me. But he is so sad. And I am too. But I did get all my hostas home! So he wins the hosta hubby of the year award. I need to get those trophies made, don't I? Anyone want to nominate their Wife for the Hosta Wife of the year award?

  • Eleven
    10 years ago

    My DH loves that I love hostas and gardening. He's so enthusiastic about being supportive that he says silly stuff like "Oh, look! You have hosta pips!" when the daffodils come in the spring. He knows the word pips. =) And he says the likes "the blue ones and the ones with the red stems." But I'm the digger and mover of all plants and small rocks. With my tendonitis so bad these days, he doesn't mind being volunteered to move the big rocks and help cut down weed shrubs to make room for more hostas.

  • beverlymnz4
    10 years ago

    Well, my husband loves gardening with me. He helps with heavy work and design. I have the big idea - "A garden bed here with big curves and rocks around the tree." He draws it up and puts it in. Usually better than I had originally planned. When visiting Harbor Lanes Garden, I forgot to ask him which hosta he wanted. Oops. That was a mistake I won't make again. So apparently he likes hosta as much as I do.

    -Beverly

  • trudy_gw
    10 years ago

    janann, we enjoyed you telling us about your kittens at the ROHS Anniv. Celebration. What a fun time we had.
    Any taker for the kittens with the cool hosta names!

    My hubby has been a very helpful hand in the gardens over the years. We know sell hostas at a local farmers market. It is fun to hear him talk to folks about hostas, he knows a lot more than he thinks he does. He explains to others how he learned about hostas through osmosis! LOL.

    I just gave him the hosta quiz.
    Level interest in hostas: 8, this was more than I thought he would say
    Would visit hosta nursery with me: yes, I asked him why, he said he enjoys looking at new hostas
    How many hosts in our yard can you name? 30- but I really think if I took him outside to our garden he could name three times that amount, plus he could tell you what some of my seedlings were and what they are named.
    Any per comments on hostas? He said he has really enjoyed the hosta friends we have made over the years, by attending many hosta conventions and friends gardens.

    Enjoy reading all the comments!

  • in ny zone5
    10 years ago

    My wife was a music teacher and I was an engineer. She likes to read a lot, has a library of all books she has read. I like to garden, have a collection of hostas and dwarf conifers. So each of us have good hobbies and can do those by ourselves. We respect each other. Her comment that things are too overgrown in some places gets me to cut things back.

    I was able to teach our 10 year old living-with-us grandson how to garden. He manages now our (now his) small vegetable and fruit garden, and his grandma loves the harvest he brings in.
    Bernd

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Trudy, The hosta kitties have yet to find their forever homes. Though it will be a week at least before they can go. It has been so funny to see how much their names fit them. My 13 year old named them. They came from Kat and Gary's hosta garden. So we thought hosta names would be fitting. Whirlwind is very tiny, but he doesn't realize it. He is such a little Whirlwind even though Captain Kirk is three times his size. Captain Kirk is the adventurer. He is the first one to explore new territory. Gunther's Prize is a prize, he is such a purrbody and a love. Queen Josephine has little white gloves. Bronson didn't notice that when he named her. And she loves to be held and cuddled and loved, such a little Queen. And June is more of a Junebug, flitting all around. But they are adorable and need homes. We have allergies and have one Devon Rex who doesn't bother our allergies. And he doesn't know he is a cat. So if anyone in Iowa knows anyone that needs a hosta kitty, we have five who need homes. So for anyone who has been searching for a Gunther's Prize, here is your chance to have a beautiful streaked kitty. :)

  • janann
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Trudy, The hosta kitties have yet to find their forever homes. Though it will be a week at least before they can go. It has been so funny to see how much their names fit them. My 13 year old named them. They came from Kat and Gary's hosta garden. So we thought hosta names would be fitting. Whirlwind is very tiny, but he doesn't realize it. He is such a little Whirlwind even though Captain Kirk is three times his size. Captain Kirk is the adventurer. He is the first one to explore new territory. Gunther's Prize is a prize, he is such a purrbody and a love. Queen Josephine has little white gloves. Bronson didn't notice that when he named her. And she loves to be held and cuddled and loved, such a little Queen. And June is more of a Junebug, flitting all around. But they are adorable and need homes. We have allergies and have one Devon Rex who doesn't bother our allergies. And he doesn't know he is a cat. So if anyone in Iowa knows anyone that needs a hosta kitty, we have five who need homes. So for anyone who has been searching for a Gunther's Prize, here is your chance to have a beautiful streaked kitty. :)

  • Eleanor B
    10 years ago

    I'm the gardener/landscaper in our house, but DH is always willing to help....dig holes, dig up plants I want to move, carry bags of soil, spread mulch....
    He praises and admires my work. As a Star Trek fan, he can identify exactly one hosta in my collection, "Captain Kirk."

  • hostahillbilly
    10 years ago

    this is a fun thread thanks for starting it

    I have traveled home from hosta shopping trips with hostas in my lap & between my legs, nuff said.

    Bevie is the hostaholic, I'm the helper-bee, though she let me create a few beds in recent years. As the maintainer of the labels, I can name quite a few, but 'Love Pat', 'Big Daddy', and 'Abiqua Drinking Gourd' still confuse me unless I l know them by bed address!

    Now back out to the garden to dig up a few shrinking plants to see if it's tree roots or voles . . .

    hh