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Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Posted by haydayhayday none (My Page) on
Mon, Apr 1, 13 at 9:49

I never thought I was that kind of person, the person I'd be feeling so superior to. I've been in denial?

For me, currently, it's Goodwill for long sleeve shirts and Walmart for the tee shirt that goes under it. In other times, it's been other things.

Do I need another tee shirt? I have, I think, at least a hundred.

Just now this realization hit me when I'm trying to find room for some of my clothing in my bedroom, NOT just my closet.

I suspect that I do it, embarrassing to say, as a means of relieving whatever stress I might be under. You think?

Why is it so soothing?

Hay


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Because you're a hoarder and are compensating for life's losses by surrounding yourself with stuff?


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

To me, shopping is just the opposite. Totally stressful. I've never understood the people who enjoy "retail therapy".

My shopping expeditions are planned like a military exercise.

I make out my list, choose the least busy time, go into shop, find what I need, pay, then skidaddle home before the cold sweat gets too bad.

Your mileage obviously varies.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I find shopping stressful. Luckily the Republicans and Democrats haven't passed a law requiring attendance at shopping malls or the pledging of allegiance to gods of mart.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

"retail therapy"

I feel better already. I'd forgotten this term, but it does demonstrate, I think, that I'm not the only one. It does seem to be a somewhat common phenomenon.

I hope you, you who are not compulsive about it, aren't feeling superior to me.

I have taxes to do and all I can think about is Goodwill.

Goodbye. I need to do some work so I can afford to go shopping. Oh, the misery.

Hay


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'm a total sucker for retail therapy. Having something new just brings me a sigh of relief. I feel like I've accomplished something, like crossing something off a to-do list. I don't know why, and it's always short lived, but buying stuff makes me happy.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Tools and plants. Not so much clothes and jewelry, though I like them just fine. I try to stay out of the tool section, you need it, I probably have two of them, mostly hand tools. Went digging for a hammer the other day...I had four. But plants? I'm a sucker. I have two trays and two rose bushes that I'm looking for spots to plant...my truck just naturally veers into a nursery when I'm driving down the road.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Hay, you could try doing your laundry more often so you won't need so many fresh shirts.

Shopping isn't therapeutic for me. I like online shopping far more than shopping in person, at least for clothing.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I don't think it is.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

SOME shopping soothes me. Shopping for clothes makes me depressed because I am obese and it is hard to find my size of clothing unless I look on the internet or go to expensive specialty plus stores which are way out of the way.

However, shopping for plants and seeds and gardening supplies makes me very happy.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

If I have to shop, I find it stressful, like a task I have to do.
However, when I needed a car , I had all the time in the world, and I didn't mind the research and bargaining.

Other items I've bought like comfort food:
1) recorded music
2) kitchen pots and pans -for about a year or two- I just had to have French cast-iron (4 pieces), or a used Griswold skillet (2) and some cool copper pots (8).

I guess I bought them because I had a new stove I was happy with- or maybe because it was like a sacrifice to the kitchen remodel that really needed getting done and I was postponing.

Anyway, those addictions are gone and it could have been much worse-


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

And I was just telling my DH this morning that I need a new pair of shoes. For no reason. Just because.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I dont find it at all soothing, quite the opposite. I detest malls, havent been in one in three years. The ability to accomplish shopping via the internet is fabulous.

I do love to go to upscale, fine furniture stores though. If I need a piece I know that with great patience ( key) I can eventually find a very good sale that will make it affordable if I've been careful with the budget and have planned by saving.
Sometimes though, the wait ( again, patience) takes several years before success is enjoyed. I recently replaced some 30+ year old end tables, but I saved and looked nearly a decade before finding exactly what I wanted at a price I found agreeable. I had a very difficult time finding something I really liked, I haven't been so fond of furniture trends for the past decade or so, its all been way too big, way too fussy for my taste.
Furniture shopping or fabric shopping to recover furniture or windows is the only shopping I enjoy - probably because I never intend to buy when looking, so no stress at all is involved- I only look and be informed of what is out there and the cost involved so I know the great deal when I see it, if there is something Im looking to replace. That type of shopping without buying is something I love to do.
That, and going to brand new, high end open house homes. Most certainly not going to buy there either, but its fun to see what is trending in nice homes.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

You know you're a consumer driven nation when... shopping is thought to be soothing.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

"You know you're a consumer driven nation when... shopping is thought to be soothing." or something is lacking perhaps?


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I love the hunt of shopping for bargains, but mostly in the second hand market.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Shopping is not soothing for me. Nothing like being reminded how out of step I am with our national consumer culture and fashions.

I can take brief forays into non-traditional retail zones. More than 45 minutes at a conventional retail store and I'm ready for the looney bin. And no more than one store per weekend unless the time expenditure is less the 15 minutes per store.

Since I've discovered farmers' markets and the local co-op, grocery shopping is no longer the onus that it used to be. Trader Joe's must be designed for people like me; the entrance displays orchids, cymbidiums, miniature roses, and cut flowers to lure the innocent inside.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I, also, detest shopping malls. Once per year is too often for me. The big box hardware store is about the only place I enjoy going now. (I like the little box hardware store better, but it's further.) Even half-price day at the thrift store, which I used to love, doesn't move me in the least. It's a chore now.

Here's hoping I still enjoy shopping for plants in the spring.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

My mother was a shopper. I can remember as a child running to keep up with her from store to store to store and being totally exhausted by the time we got home. However it was rarely for herself and she managed to get amazing bargains on a regular basis. She would check out the better clothing shops and then we would hit the fabric stores to see what was available along with patterns. She was a talented seamstress and most of my good clothes were her handiwork. She was really amazing. My sisters never appreciated it even though they benefited from it. Somehow I was the only one who learned from it.

I can't say that shopping has ever been soothing. It can be psychologically satisfying though. Getting a task done, getting ready for a new project. I do need to slow down though. My mind is more active than my body.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Hate it, hate it, hate it. Except for food shopping, which I do only on an occasional basis.
desirai, shopping for clothes is supposed to depress you so that you shop, shop, shop your way to happiness. It doesn't actually matter what you look like or what your weight is - it will still be wrong.
When it comes to new furnishings, or counter tops, paint colours, carpeting, etc., my partner and I agree upon a colour and then he goes out and sources the item. My job is to approve of whatever he purchased, since I refuse to take the trouble to browse through those stores. Works for us.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I hate shopping for a specific item. I also hate malls and rarely go there. Plants and antiques are my weakness, and I love to browse for what strikes my eye. I also love my Community store where I donate regularly and also shop there for sports clothes. I DID get a great lamp there last month for $5 , 1/2 price for seniors. It was way underpriced because it has a great pottery base which looks to be the work of an artisan.

I HATE car shopping so I'm lucky husband does. He dislikes all other shopping though. When he got a bee in his bonnet that he needed to trade in his car, he ended up trading both cars in last week for two new ones. He did the research , he narrowed it down, he test drove, and I went and signed the papers. My only input was one of them had to be another Prius. My eyes glaze over at stuff like that.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

My wife shops, I go buy something. She enjoys going to 20 stores looking for the same thing in each. I know what I want, where to get it and I just go buy it. I did begin to get stressed while looking for a new tractor, ended up going back to the 1st one that I seriously considered. Now I am looking for a special gun and every time I think Ive got it straight, I change my mind. Clothes are simple, couple pairs a jeans, couple flannel shirts, Im done.

I think vehicle shopping is the easiest, didnt always feel that way till I figured out how to do it. I jus call 4 dealers, who ever quotes the lowest price for my specs gets the order. Usually from 200-500 over their cost satisfies me..


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'm with Nancy... shopping is not a soothing exercise, at all.

I dislike crowds, and can't afford to buy that which I want, and sometimes not even that which I need. It reminds me that product quality has taken a huge dive while prices have continued rising. It reminds me that we've become a society of consumers where everything is disposable.

It also reminds me that there isn't anything one cannot market... 'a fool and his money are soon parted'.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Most shopping I don't find soothing.

But I'm with the others here who say plants, seeds or garden related stuff is the exception. I love window shopping in a nursery or garden centre or seed catalogues.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

So far this spring , shopping for plants isn't working out because of the weather. I did see a few stores finally put out their pansies, but with temps in the mid 40's and a wicked wind, who wants to be planting? Our community garden opened today. I'm guessing no one was there. We will try to get some spinach in this week. Already we are in a rain deficit,. so what's new?


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

  • Posted by vgkg 7-Va Tidewater (My Page) on
    Mon, Apr 1, 13 at 17:49

Shopping has 2 sides for me.
It's a Dread if it's for items of need.
It's Fun if it's for items of want.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I do like to shop--for clothes, shoes, a new vanity for the bathroom, plants, books, electronics, movie tickets, anything to do with making jewelry and ebay is my friend, food, furniture, obviously anything. I like to see "what's new" and decide whether it will work for me or my family. I like malls, thrift shops, home goods stores, grocery stores, hardware stores, any of them. I don't shop a lot but I do like it when I do.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Shopping has never been "soothing" for me

Every few years I like to take a trip and update my wardrobe with a few new pieces but that usually does not take long.

I used to like shopping for the house but that's pretty much done with the exception of a few pieces that are difficult to find--a case of I know it when I see it so that's always fun if I happen to come across one of those items and even more fun if it is a good deal. Right now it is an elusive corner cabinet for a daughters bathroom just the right height width and style.

I do not like buying items that do not look or remain serviceable so shopping less often and being selective about quality and value give me a good
feeling.

Nope. Not a shopaholic

Also our lifetime motto and that of my financial advisor
"Spend less now--spend more later" has always been in my mind
If you don't blow money it can work for you and make more.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Soothing or stressful? It depends. If it's something I need for an upcoming event in the very near future, and I can't find it, it's stressful. Otherwise, it's usually very enjoyable for me. I've always loved shopping. Shopping with my grown daughter is one of the most enjoyable experiences there is.

I do love getting new things, especially things for my house.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

My broker just gave me "permission" to cut loose and spend some.

The only time I really enjoyed shopping was when we were all house buying (especially the first time) and filling our nests. The antiquing stopped about 15 years ago though - we antiquing friends arrived at the "we've got enough" crossroads virtually at the same time. Fortunately, I had only one field that really grabbed my attention for most of my collecting years, but toward the end, stumbling across a piece was a rare event.

Clothes; you've got to have clothes so that's always been regarded as a chore.

Now the only thing that would make me happy is to find a really nice set of every day dishes. I have beautiful fine china, but every day is pretty tag end. I look only when I happen to be somewhere that might have a selection, but something is always wrong - dinner plates the size of a Cadillac hubcap, etc. etc. Don't know exactly what I want but will know it when I see it.

Somebody mentioned pots and pans - could use a replacement or two in that category, also.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

"I love the hunt of shopping for bargains, but mostly in the second hand market."

I'm with MarkJ on this one. I very rarely feel like shopping for brand new. I'm the thrifty type big time.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

hmmm, pots and pans--I need a flat griddle for scrapple and grilled sandwiches. Okay, off to the stores.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

My antiquing stopped too after 40 years of weekly auctions and shows. Stopped cold turkey when I realized there is not a square inch of space left in this house. I do occasionally yearn for the old days when the hunt was as exciting as the find and then bringing it home and finding a special place for it.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

you arent going to beat a good cast pan/griddle for scrapple and sammiches. We buchered 4 hogs this year so II boiled up the neck bones(customers never want them) and made 3 large loaf pans of scrapple. Sure wish ya could have shared in some of that. The best I've ever cooked up.

This post was edited by fancifowl on Mon, Apr 1, 13 at 19:59


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

If it is for sale I enjoy shopping it.

It is soothing for me to have what I want, when I want it, and do not have to make a special trip to find what I need or want.

Shopping is soothing for me because I love the hunt and big purchases (cars and houses) I love making the deal.

I love power tools, cars, garden plants, house plants, cloths, housewares, I can walk around a home improvement store, stone yard, lumber yard for hours. Because I am out so much I run into the deals. I never shop sales. Those are retail sucker got you events.

I usually have what I need when the occasion arise. If there is a special event I always have the special outfit hanging in my closet. If you wait until you need something you will pay top price and it usually is not what you want but a need which forces you to pay the top price.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

HG, I could spend hours at the local garden center, in their greenhouse... and not buy a thing. It's that scent of moist, healthy earth and live greenery, along with the warm humidity and slight odor of plant decomposition! It's intoxicating, as far as I'm concerned!

But honestly, I like to trade plants, divisions, seeds, or tubers... instead of purchasing... if I can. There's something special about having a piece of a plant that someone else has nurtured... and giving them a plant that I've spent time growing and caring for.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'm with MarkJ on this one. I very rarely feel like shopping for brand new. I'm the thrifty type big time.

Much of the stuff I want is no longer made, or they've changed how it's made, so my only options are to buy used, or shop online for NOS - New Old Stock.

Too much new stuff is way overpriced, so I let others take the huge hits in depreciation, plus pay the brick and mortar taxes.

I use many brick and mortars as showrooms, test sites and return centers as I buy most stuff much cheaper online.

I've generally been seeing fewer and fewer Hot Deals in brick and mortars over the past several years and when I do stock is very limited.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

If you wait until you need something you will pay top price and it usually is not what you want but a need which forces you to pay the top price.

Sometimes, but not always. Just bought my "mother of the bride" dress recently. At Neiman Marcus. On sale. Unbelievalby inexpensive. When DH saw the price tag when I got home, he said "you should have bought 2".

I don't have special dress occasions very often, but when I do I like to go shopping for something new. Even if there's something hanging in my closet, I'm usually going to buy a new outfit for the occasion. Just makes me happy.

I use many brick and mortars as showrooms

Did anyone see this -- a camera store in Australia. No way I'm paying $5 to go into a store to browse! I hope the trend does not make its way here.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'm use many brick and mortars to inspect and demo many electronics, then buy them cheaper online or used.

After inspection and demo, I'm not interested in buying many products as I'm not happy with the build quality, features or performance.

I've scored many hot deals in brick and mortars in the past when they had relatively lax price matching policies.

Often a competitor didn't have something in stock, or the items were slightly different, however they matched the price anyway.

I buy many things online as brick and mortar mark-up on many products is insane and/or selection is extremely poor.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I suspect an attitude like that one will not gain them any new customers, Jill... and may cause current customers to shop elsewhere on principle, alone. I wouldn't pay $5 just to look at anyone's merchandise.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I agree, Jodi. Even if I knew the store had something I wanted, I'd probably find someplace else to buy it. But, I wonder if this is a trend in Australia? Maybe YQ will see this and give us her take.

I think they'd do much better with price matching than this policy. I've had good luck with big stores price matching. Or I should say DH has. I hate doing the negotiating and leave that up to him.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I do not see any difference than people paying a Sam's Club or Costco to shop. Those are mysteries to me. Why would you pay somebody to shop in their store?

I have shopped in these stores and there is no difference in price than shopping wisely at stores that do not charge you a membership fee.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

We've shopped near a local wholesale club for many years, yet never shopped there even once until last year.

Last summer we shopped there as a guest for the first time, however we didn't see anything we typically buy that we couldn't buy cheaper at other stores with no membership fees.

The selection was extremely limited as well.

Several years ago I saw a wholesale business advertised on an infomercial on the public access channel, so I figured I'd check them out.

Before I entered the store, a girl working the register said I couldn't even look around until I bought a membership, or a $5 guest pass.

She said I'd get my $5 back once I made a purchase of $5 or more, so I bought a 6 pack of paper towels for $5.99. There were no other products in the store that were even close to the sales prices at other stores.

We get better paper towels for less money at other stores when they're on sale, plus we get store coupons as well which can be used on anything in the store.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Shopping is soothing when choosing and buying for our grandchildren.

It's unsettling when witnessing rude, disrespectful and judgmental behavior of retail customers.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Shopping is not soothing to me. I find it breeds discontent. Mainly because I often do not have the money to purchase what I want. If I stay at home and work in my garden, I am perfectly happy not knowing about that outfit at Kohls that would look adorable, etc. I only go to the antique stores if I have the money to purchase. DH likes to go to look around. Not me, I am better off not knowing it is out there. Plants of course are something else entirely but I get to interact with them, care for them and love them instead of placing them on a shelf that needs to be dusted.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

We enjoy browsing even though we'd never pay the crazy prices for many things we look at.

Boats and RVs at the malls are a good example. We like to look at them, but would never buy brand new models.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

HG, I could spend hours at the local garden center, in their greenhouse... and not buy a thing. It's that scent of moist, healthy earth and live greenery, along with the warm humidity and slight odor of plant decomposition! It's intoxicating, as far as I'm concerned!

For me, the window shopping is usually to get some good ideas for next year... or at a time like now when I WANT to start the garden but it's still too cold and I'm going stir crazy.

I'm very careful about trading plants, tubers or cuttings. I've been through raging soil problems in the past due to being given infected plants from other gardeners.

Seed trading is good, but I don't count on getting the seeds as advertised. Many home gardeners can't be sure how their plants were pollinated... could be crossed with just about anything from a neighbours garden.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Even if there's something hanging in my closet, I'm usually going to buy a new outfit for the occasion. Just makes me happy.

jillinnj, it is just like shopping when I go to my closet. It is new and the tags are still on them. I usually have 3 events a year I know I will need to have something special. So I try to have at least 3 special outfits. If I find more than that I have options. Most of the time I have 5 to choose from. I do not buy a outfit unless I love it. I have certain colors that are my favorite and there is a certain cut I like.

I'm very careful about trading plants, tubers or cuttings.

The only thing I know of that is a problem is hostas. I do not trade them because of the virus. I have a collection and I have not added any in many years and I do not want to lose what I have. What has stopped my trading is the sky high postage. I can purchase more plants locally than trading once you add the postage.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

MarkJ: "Boats and RVs at the malls are a good example. We like to look at them, but would never buy brand new models."

I hear you; same with cars & trucks. I could never bring myself to spend the kind of money they want for a brand new car.

There are a lot of really worthwhile causes I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on. It's all about priorities: your money, you decide.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

HG:

"I'm very careful about trading plants, tubers or cuttings."

Marquest:

"The only thing I know of that is a problem is hostas. I do not trade them because of the virus.

I've done a LOT of gardening over the years.

I'm always advising anyone who will listen to me (limited, I know) not to take plants from other people's garden. You can almost be guaranteed to bring something terrible along with it. Something that will be almost impossible to eradicate. Been there, done that. Seen it more than I care to.

And the plants that people will gladly give you? The most prolific spreaders. The ones that you'll be spending the rest of your life trying to keep in check.

The exceptions? Maybe Hostas since this new virus seems to be new and was most likely spread by professional garden centers.

Hay


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

And the plants that people will gladly give you? The most prolific spreaders. The ones that you'll be spending the rest of your life trying to keep in check.

Not true. At least not true for me. I have shared a lot of plant because I love it so much I want to share with a online buddy. I have some online garden buddies that we have never met in person but are as close as a neighbor. If they say they want something I post I am happy to send them a piece. I divided a daylily that was so slow. It is a beautiful spider and they are slowwww. I had it for 3 years and it was still only two small clumps. I sent him one clump.

Everybody that sees my Canna Stuttgart wants a bulb. Everyone they had brought one was virused. Another plant that the growers have ruined. I have had mine for 9 years I send people a bulb every year.

I guess you have been trading with some evil traders.. LOL

Look she is a beauty...
 photo daylily2.jpg


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

"I guess you have been trading with some evil traders.. LOL

Let's look at a typical plant swap

New Hampshire Swap at Gardenweb:


"Please speak up if anyone wants Geranium phaeum. They reseed enough so that I always have extra, but maybe by now everyone who wants it already has it? I can also do Geranium macrorrhizum.
Some things I have but won't bother with unless anyone wants:
catnip

...

Geranium phaeum gets about 18" tall I'd say. It self seeds quite well.

...

I would like to get some Dame's Rocket if anyone has that plant.

...

Also have already potted up some Geranium macrorrhizum

...

Likely I'll dig up some Oswego Tea...it's pretty agressive, but I like it.

...

Evening Primrose- likely we ALL have some of that, but I find it very pretty, so will pot some up.

...

Ajuga (dark leaf variety)
petasites

...

Anyone want some Ladies Mantle (Alchemilla Mollis) ?

...

I have some large ferns that are used as background contrast for my hosta. They have gotten out of control and I am going to pull some. Does anyone want any?

...

Anyone interested in some baby cosmos? The pink/white giants? (5 footers) I have a bazillion (well, not quite that many) coming up in my spaces that I don't want, and will pluck & plant if anyone's interested. Otherwise, it's pluck & compost...

...

Jerusalem artichokes
lady bells

...

Ribbon Grass

...
'Bumblebee Tree'

As you can see by this picture, it obviously spreads:

...

Bugleweed

...

Oenthera

...

Ajuga (Reptans Burgundy Glow)

...

Oregano

Mint

...

I forgot, Kelly also has chives that she will be bringing.

...

If I have time I'll go down in the field and dig up some of the sunflowers that are appearing everywhere. I won't guarantee100% that they are the giant ones but I'd say the chances are 50/ 50.You might also be interested in my jerusalem artichoches.

...

Susan jerusulum artichokes

...

Thanks to you I remember what the 'Bumblebee Tree' is. It is a Jerusalem Artichoke that I received from you in the Spring.

...

monarda bee balm red/purple
nyosotis -forget me nots
lysimachia clethroides gooseneck loosestrife
lily of the valley

...

-Ribbon grass-trade with caution, this spreads a lot

-lily of the valley

...

*mint? (very invasive)
*chives? (you can't kill them)
*bamboo (green, running, but only if someone wants it)

+++++++++++
+++++++++++

You couldn't pay me to take a plant from someone at this swap. Who knows what evil lurks in that soil.

Hay


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I usually have 3 events a year I know I will need to have something special.

Ah, that makes sense. If I had that many dress up events, I'd do the same. For me, it's just the occasional wedding or bar/bat mitzvah.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I hear you; same with cars & trucks. I could never bring myself to spend the kind of money they want for a brand new car.

There are a lot of really worthwhile causes I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on. It's all about priorities: your money, you decide.

Luckily there's no shortage of people borrowing money to buy depreciating assets, thus keeping the second hand market supplied with reasonably priced vehicles and toys.

Good news for parts suppliers, resellers, flippers and mechanics as well.

Many of my tenants and many of our employees could buy decent homes with the money they've spent on new vehicles and toys alone.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Jill, you'd be surprised at how many and what types of places are willing to bargain to get your business.

My Mom once bargained for a very expensive evening dress at a shop, and walked away with one hell of a deal! There was a gorgeous dress in her size hanging on a rack, but it had a broken zipper. She walked away with a $2000 dress for under $200! She replaced the zipper, herself.

Me, I like flea markets and second hand shops. One can always bargain for better pricing!

HG, I think it greatly depends on whom one is trading with... I prefer to trade with people I know.

I have had both good results and some poor results buying through Ebay... the majority good... though for the small prices I pay I can't really complain about poor seed germination or a plant that doesn't grow exactly as expected. I already know I'm taking a chance... it's part of the deal. My best insurance against poor results is to do my research first.

But then again, I've had some very poor results shopping through some big name catalogs for plants, too... so, it's safe to say that there is a chance we take whenever we shop sight unseen, and it pays greatly to do one's homework first.

If our local selection was better and more affordable, I wouldn't have to look elsewhere for products, and just "window shop" at the local garden center to get ideas. Though, I do still enjoy walking their greenhouses just to inhale that wonderful scent, and spend a little time in that environment!



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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Yes Jill I am begging for dollars for scholarship funds for disadvantage youth. I try not to look like a beggar. I get invitations to donor events and we have an Awards dinner for the scholarship fund. They are all black tie.

It is helpful that I enjoy shopping. I could not afford evening attire for 3 events if I did not get them at a good price. You do not look worthy of their donation if you show up with the same outfit. They are so pretentious but hey I want/need their money.

I am like Mark's Mom though. If there is one thing wrong I am going to ask to see the Manager for my markdown and I want it to be a deep markdown.

If it is not a specialty car I agree with Mark, you waste your money buying new. That worthless piece of aluminum foil with fingernail polish loses so much value as you put the key in it and drive it off their lot you should see 100 dollar bills flying out the tail pipe. I want a return on my money and a car does not do that for me.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Not for me. I hate shopping. My kids had to drag me to the mall to buy new clothes after I lost a lot of weight. What an ordeal.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I agree that buying new cars is like seeing $ bills blow out your exhaust as you drive off the lot. Which is why we leased for the first time in our lives two brand new 2013 top of the line cars last week with a total of $3200 out of pocket, plus trades. We will have them each for three years 36,000 miles. Both cars are covered in a three year warranty, and both cars are tops at keeping their value. Our four year old Prius, which we traded, is selling now for $20,000 at the car dealer.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Jill, you'd be surprised at how many and what types of places are willing to bargain to get your business.

Oh, I do know! I'm just not good at it. It makes me very, very uncomfortable. I don't know why. I love a new car, but I hate the process of buying it. My husband, on the other hand, loves it. I always want to crawl under the desk and hide. The last experience, they were down to haggling over $200. I mean, really! $200. My husband said no, and we walked out. My son and I both told him he was an idiot for passing up that car for $200! He said let's just get in the car and drive around the block. Before we got out of the parking lot, his cell phone rang and they were willing to do the deal.

Years ago, I was looking for a light for over my kitchen table. I had no idea you could bargain at a retail lighting store. I fell in love with a light but it was over my budget. I was ready to leave. My now husband (then boyfriend) said what do you want to pay for it? I said why? You can't negotiate in a retail store. Well, I told him how much and went to the other side of the store. Like I said, just makes me uncomfortable. He got me the light at the price I wanted to pay. I couldn't believe it. It still hangs over our kitchen table in our house.

Marquest - we used to cruise every year, so I had a few black tie outfits. I didn't mind wearing them on each cruise. Maybe because it was never the same people. But, for events at home, I always buy new. Also, don't like wearing the same thing. I totally get the have to look the part to ask (beg!) for their money.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I have never haggled over prices in a brick and mortar store. I think at TJMaxx one time I asked about lowering the price on something that was damaged ,but it was a no go. I think they send damaged stuff to another outlet like Big Lots or Ollies.

However I was wonderful at haggling at antique shows. Never ever paid full price. Always , is this your best price or can you do better, then the game began. Would you take ---, no, but would you come down to -- till we agreed. Or at the end of a show when they didn't want to load stuff back in their van, I'd come with cash way below the asking price and usually got it especially if it was a bad show for them. Fun times.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Some places won't bargain, but in this sort of economy I think more stores are willing to come down in price if you ask, mainly to keep customers coming back... plus, a lot of places have large markups, and can afford to give better pricing as long as one asks. They'll never volunteer... but it never hurts to ask. What's the worst thing they can say? No? Okay... then you simply go elsewhere.

It's even better when the salesperson works on commission... or gets bonuses for numbers of sales.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I agree that buying new cars is like seeing $ bills blow out your exhaust as you drive off the lot. Which is why we leased for the first time in our lives two brand new 2013 top of the line cars last week with a total of $3200 out of pocket, plus trades. We will have them each for three years 36,000 miles.

Leasing a vehicle IS blowing money out of the tailpipe. If you want a good value, buy the vehicle after someone else has returned it from leasing it.

But if you want the security of having a reliable vehicle for years to come and aren't worried about the money, then you should lease. Sure you pay more, but you get a new vehicle every two or three years.

When my kid was younger and I was on the highway a lot, I had older vehicles and all it took was a breakdown or two. Sure, I had CAA and family members to call, but it still sucks to be broken down with a toddler in the car. After that, I spent the extra money in order to always be driving a new leased vehicle.

Now that the kid is older, I am back to buying vehicles because leasing is the worst value for your dollar.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Speaking of haggling, I'm very disciplined and never get emotionally attached to the deal, so I walk away over relatively small amounts of money.

Often after I hang up, or walk away the seller changes their mind, then I often negotiate an even lower price and/or negotiate for some extras.

After walking away from many deals I'll often see that the sellers have reduced their prices even lower than my first and second offer that they originally rejected.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I do not drive enough to lease a vehicle. I do what Hamiliton said. I can deal and I go when they are getting their next year vehicles in for the new year. The Jeep I have now was the showroom demo that I got for 15 thou off and minus all the options that were in the vehicle at no charge.

They tried to add the options on to the sale price after they gave me the price which would have brought the price back up to discount. I got as far as my car before they came running after me.

The Subaru that I traded last year was 10 yrs old. There was nothing wrong but once they tell me a car will need work I get rid of them. If you do low mileage and garage kept it is a waste to lease. I need two cars because of my housing so I have the Jeep for that and the car for running around town.

It sounds like it is not possible but if you get a good salesman that you deal with often he can be your friend at getting you a deal. My Subaru salesman has checked out of state Subaru dealers and because he loves to drive will go to another state pick it up and bring it back at no charge. I flew him to Louisville one time. I have a lot of FF free tickets. I tell him what I want to pay and he goes on a search. Sometimes it takes him a few weeks but he delivers. I have had him as my friend for 15 years. He said his wife asked him if he is having an affair with me.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Our financial advisor recommends leasing cars and renting homes. Of course, I'm not going to be renting a house after owning houses since I was 22. He , who lives in a spectacular home, said if his wife died tomorrow, he'd sell and rent. BUT leasing cars is the best way for us. Driving a brand new car off the lot is instant depreciation, and we wanted this years models. I wanted to keep the old Prius and lease a new one after trading in the Maxima. Husband didn't want to do that so we compromised. We drove the Maxima 61,000 miles in 12 years. We drove the Prius 21,000 in four years . We are perfect candidates for leasing. The old Prius is now for sale at the dealers for $20,000. We have two 2013 top of the line cars with all the bells and whistles and three year warranty. In three years, we'll turn them in and lease again. (OR maybe buy the Prius if the offer is good)


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

When it comes to cars, we've been more than lucky... or at least, in the right places at the right times. It greatly helps that my husband knows what he's looking at and listening to, mechanically speaking.

We paid almost nothing for a small car with low mileage that spent its life as a tow-behind for Winnebago vacation travelers. After basic maintenance and a new set of tires, and a minimum of normal repairs along the way, we've gotten our money back many times over! And the plus is, it gets excellent mpg!

Between my husband, my son, and a couple of other "car buddies", there's no shortage of deals to be had and nothing that can't be fixed at minimum cost. I'm just so lucky in so many respects!


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I've bought most of my cars, trucks, vans, motorcycles, boats, quads, RVs, campers, trailers and equipment used for pennies on the dollar.

I've sold many for more than I paid for them after working them/using them for years.

There are fewer people cable of, or willing to fix many relatively minor issues, so I've scored some really good bargains.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'd like to hear someone explain why leasing a new car is cheaper than buying a new car.

I can appreciate some little things might push things in that direction. Maybe.

But, if there is a big cost of instant depreciation just by driving a new car off the lot, the leasing company will incur that same cost and will have to pass it on to you, the lessee.

Nothing gained there.

Where's the gain of leasing over buying? Weigh that with the added expense of having a middleman between you and your car.

Interesting. I'd expect that in the biggest deals, like airlines leasing planes, (doesn't that happen?), it's because of tax advantages, but I don't know. Just speculation.

Hay


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

One thing I don't like about driving valuable vehicles and toys is that I'm always concerned about scratches, scrapes, dents etc.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Mark if I remember you are in NY area. Every time I am in that city it always stands out to me is it is a badge of honor to have a dent or two.

Hay it is a financial benefit if you put serious mileage on your vehicle per year and if it is used for business. The rent thing I cannot think of a good financial or a personal comfort win.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I'd like to hear someone explain why leasing a new car is cheaper than buying a new car.

It's not. It's the worst value for your money... *noting Marquest's response*... for your personal vehicle. If your business is paying for the vehicle then that's a different ball game.

The rent thing I cannot think of a good financial or a personal comfort win.

I think it depends on the lifestyle.

For people who are in mobile jobs, buying a house is never a good solution. The cost of selling your house every couple of years will outweigh any equity you build into it. Probably by a lot due to the nature of a mortgage.

So the rule of thumb is if you will need to be changing your house (or your car!) every couple of years, then rent (lease), don't buy.

But if either the car or the house are longer term than that then buy, don't lease, or you are throwing money down the drain.

Of course, I am excluding any extraordinary circumstances like the housing market suddenly jumping in value substantially... or buying a cheap broken down house and fixing it up to sell for a lot more money...

This post was edited by hamiltongardener on Fri, Apr 5, 13 at 10:42


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I am familiar with people who lease vehicles and do so for business, tax, and other purposes... and people who prefer to buy new or used vehicles, for various other reasons... like establishing credit, etc...

I would guess it's a personal thing that has different benefits for different people and their lifestyles.

If I could afford to plunk down cash money for the new car I really wanted, I'd do so... but since I don't drive anymore, what would be the point?

We like our little car... it's roomy enough to comfortably carry two dogs and their crates and gear, our gear, tools, and still gets excellent mileage.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I believe markjames is in upstate NY, not in NYC. In NYC, very hard to not get some dents and scratches. Outside the city, it's like anywhere else.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

If you buy OR lease your car ,the minute you drive it off the lot it depreciates. For those of us who drive 10,000 miles a year or less, it pays to lease. My cars are maintenance free for the three years we have them. Completely covered except for regular maintenance like new tires if they need them. Otherwise we ride and never worry about car repairs. The Maxima at 12 years old was starting to cost us money. The Prius did not cost us a dime in four years. It's for sale for $20,000 at the dealers. We probably will never own again unless we buy the Prius we are now leasing. More people we know lease now as opposed to owning, including our financial adviser.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

It's hard not to get dents and scratches in any busy parking lot, or any city with limited parking. Convenience stores are the worst.

Just an hour ago a woman parked so close to my van that she couldn't get out of her own car, then ran over my bright orange safety cone as she drove away.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Many of my tenants rent since they want mobility, they don't want the responsibility of maintenance/repairs.

In the high property tax regions they can't afford the property taxes unless they're split with numerous other tenants in multi-family homes.

I have 2 new tenants that sold their homes due to property taxes and school systems alone.

Many rent in nice areas with bad school systems until their kids are old enough to attend school.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

If you buy OR lease your car ,the minute you drive it off the lot it depreciates. For those of us who drive 10,000 miles a year or less, it pays to lease.

It actually works opposite to that. If you are driving so little, you are carrying a disproportionate cost due to that "instant depreciation".


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Shopping at the following places makes me feel good:

Home Goods

Garden Centers

Trader Joe's and Whole Foods

The Dollar Store (most dangerous)

Bed, Bath and Beyond

Kohl's

Life is too short not to feel better by shopping.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Lily my example is how I save buying vs leasing.

My Jeep was 38 thou sticker. September the new models were coming in. The 38 thou was a showroom vehicle but they deem it as used. Dropped price to 28 thou. negotiation begins from the dropped price. With specials Jeep was offering at the time and negotiation I got the vehicle down to 18 thou.

If you drive that vehicle for 10 years and it is garage kept and low mileage you save on the front and back end. I have saved a lot more than if I had leased. As I said it has low mileage at this point it only has 15 thou miles on it. I have not had one moment of trouble. All it needs is an inspection once a year.

Compare that to a lease and all the plate transfers, down payments every year or two and the years of not making a car payment and it is a win for me.

I know for personally reasons a lot of people like the smell and pride of having a new car. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. For me my cars are for getting to point "A" to "B" and I do not want to pay a lot for that and I could careless if someone thinks or say it is not new. Added to that I do not like cars they are just necessary. I like other things more.

I just want a car that when I put the key in it goes and does not give me any trouble. When it gives me trouble it has to go. I give her a bath, food (gas) (oil) new shoes as needed (tires) If her stomach hurts she will get new (brakes) anything else inside her body she does not get. She gets to sit on a lot as I driveway in another vehicle that will get me to point A and B with no trouble.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

frustrating shopping morning for me. The gun shop only offered me 400 bucks for my tricked out .22AR. that'd been a $250 loss in 6 months on it. Thats not so bad, I could deal with that. I chose 12 guns which I would like and only 1 was available at the wholesalers for order! The bad part is, I have to wait 2 weeks till I have the $$$s for the gun. Now I am stressed, which stressses out the wife, cause I like to get my way. When she gets stressed, she goes shoppin. Its an ugly situation. but, Im trained to deal with ugly situations, thanks Uncle Sam.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

I don't get to shop very often, other than to obtain necessary items... we just don't have the budget to buy things I want at the moment. But even during times I have had a more than adequate budget, I really can't say I enjoyed shopping.

When it comes to buying things for myself, or gifts for others, I'm very adamant about finding exactly the right items... and if I don't or can't, I'd rather buy nothing than settle for something I'm not really happy with.

The husband abhors shopping, and usually waits in the car... with a plea that I take as little time as possible.

I used to enjoy craft stores, garden centers or specialty plant stores, and I have my favorites when it comes to clothing and other items.

But if at all possible, I'd rather avoid having to shop. Soothing? No. What I would describe as soothing is working in the gardens, or spending time with family, or reading a good book... and in the evenings, soothing is cuddling with my dog while watching a good movie, with the old man close by working on his electronics.


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RE: Why is Shopping so Soothing?

Wandering around aimlessly, browsing goods just to see what's out there, is good sometimes. It's semi-mindless leisure time with some movement (walking) thrown in. Unless I see something really useful and unique, I rarely buy, but if I saw a spiffy t-shirt or sweatshirt, I'd buy it.

Generally I loathe shopping. DH loves shopping of any sort, so he does all the grocery shopping and the miscellaneous shopping and he gets the urge to check out any new store that comes along. Every once in a while I get the urge to go out and see what's new. Not often, maybe once or twice a year.


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