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Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Posted by florey (My Page) on
Mon, Aug 27, 12 at 15:28

Why?
Why so flat on the affect?
How did she end up there?

Those who, as kids, were left out in the rain, so to speak.
Unloved, unwanted, the extra kid in the house. These are the kids who were not encouraged to study , or even be curious about their world. They never learned that they count. They never learned that they are loveable, or have known that they are loved.
Now she is accepting a substitute.

She probably doesn't even know that sex, not only can be, but is supposed to be, sharing, fun, connecting, loving.

I've been thinking of this girl on a stoop, I saw for a minute last year, in a far town, who, when asked for directions, the answering was taken, over by a nearby young man.

Uh, oh,
She didn't have much going for her. Blah looks, chubby, no personality, or curiosity, no evidence of enough interest in life for more than minimal brains, passive. She didn't look like she'd even be good at her job - she was just there.

There may have been dope or power issues that's not unlikely, really.
She is one of the flotsam and jetsam of life, dully washed up on an unwelcoming shore. Never been anywhere, done anything, no voice, no life.
Degraded.
Some people can come back from near the end of the line, her prospects did not look good.

She has no chance at life. No past to speak of, or she would be there, and no future.
Maybe that should be in capital letters.
NO FUTURE
No HOPE

Those are the one who are most likely to get sick or mistreated.
Who gets all washed up young? why?

On the one hand I know that this is part of life, and that you can't help everyone.
Also, as people age, or sicken, out of this 'industry' some do go on to do other things. What?

On the other hand ...
What can be done? Early enough to do some good?
A new mind set, on what?

Is the issue unloved kids?

...

How do we even talk about this?

...

[Well, with casinos, one part of the population will have more jobs.]
Those comments can go on the casino thread.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Ok let's step back and start again - what is this about? Kids that never become productive because of choices they make early in life? Who's to blame?


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I took it that her parent(s) made bad choices. What the young lady lacks is self-awareness. How can that happen? It should've come, but hasn't yet. It may never come. Or is it that you were putting yourself in her place, not that I know who you are, but it might be something I would think. But for the grace of God, there go I!

And it makes me think of Precious. I love the end of that film. Should read the book. I love that she is fearless even though she has so much to overcome. And has overcome so much. I want to believe it is possible. It's probably a fantasy, but it's better than believing it can't be done, realistic or not.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I took it that there are a lot of suppositions going on here.

Go to Baltimore on any nice day and see neighborhood after neighborhood of marble stepped rowhouses complete with step sitters. Better yet, watch them ritually scrub down the marble with Bon Ami and a pumice stone.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

If I understand the point of your thread, I think it to be an excellent one. No matter who wins the election, that administration will continue to have this deadly serious job to continue to tackle.

For these people incapable of helping themselves or their offspring (one must have tools for that after all, be it the innate knowledge they are blessed with, shown by example or carefully taught, early enough in life that they can believe that their great effort and hope will actually pay off, significantly)

- for these people, humanity is obligated to do as much as we can, while continually learning what will help and be of greater benefit, what ideas and tools show the greatest success for the greatest amount of disenfranchised of our country - while understanding that it is unrealistic to think we will be able to help everyone learn how to have a life worth living.

A live worth living is the point for which we all strive. Without the basics of human necessity and the security in knowing that the necessities will be there tomorrow and next week, one can not possibly judge and expect those in need to attain that life which is worth living.

But if we ever stops, regardless of the excuses about why, with TRUE effort, drive and true desire in striving to help ALL these people, we will pay dearly for that worst sin humanity can commit.

My opinion


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Duluth, She was remarkably passive. Her life had no seeming relation to herself. She did not have the interest in life or prospects of the 'jersey shore' crowd pre fame. They have ways of passing time, and have efforts that they value, tans and laundry ...
She was so blank.
Stoop sitting can be one of the pleasures of life. She was waiting for nothing. Not even angry.
The not-ness was one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen.

David talked about suffering kids around the world. This is one of those.

Nobody talks about the end of the line for the unlucky.

Again:
Those who, as kids, were left out in the rain, so to speak.
Unloved, unwanted, the extra kid in the house.
Some people are embarrassed or resentful of their own kids, say, not enough of a chip off the old block. Or, they were waay too strictly and oddly raised , or a Farkle who looks too much like Furd Burfle. Some people with these childhood circumstances and situations can start out as middle class, But, what's missing can cause a suction down.
That's where a positive culture can help.

There but for the Grace of God, go Any of us. Bad choices, distancing factors, and fewer opportunities, for generations, probably. Some familial, some due to other circumstances.

Should we talk about resentment, failure, hard luck,
or, the why of prostitution?
Or how a wonderful 4th grade teacher can open worlds?
Or a child friendly/fostering - neighborhood/religion/hobby/etc.?
Or wishing for a more supportive child culture, less worshipful of the extreme?

I don't know what efforts will help. In what direction?

I do like the use of the old fashioned words whore, whoremonger etc..
It's a more jolting, separating term, from a middle class existence than sex worker.
This is not mere failure, it is exploited failure.

I'm only tugging at the corner of something here. I hope you can come up with new ways of looking at things.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Are you quoting someone else's writing here, florey? Just curious; it sounds familiar.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

If so, I'm not aware of it. I'll take it as a compliment, if my writing is improving that much. Cool.
Maybe it's just familiar expressions.

What's familiar, is probably the situations.

Precious, sounds like a step up. I've seen the actress not the movie.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Florey, how do you know she was a prostitute? Was she wearing a sign? Did someone tell you? It sounds to me like she might have been mentally or emotionally deficient rather than someone looking for a "John". It seems odd that she would be sitting on a stoop since anyone living at that address would be looked at pretty hard by the police as being responsible for her presence. The residents would have been out there shooing her away.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

On the other hand she could be a very much loved and wanted child with 2 parents and 3 sisters who were A students and went to college. It happens. Sometimes it is not the parents. Sometimes it is mental illness and sometimes it's just a hard headed kid who never finds the road back.

But yes for many it has become generational. Drugged up parents and an environment that is not conducive to success. But there is still a refusal to take these children while they still could be saved. Parents rights and all that. Entitlements based on how many kids to feed. Then there are the agencies that are supposed to protect these kids once they are taken from the home. Again it's a crap shoot. For every loving foster parent who is trying their best to give these kids a break there is another who just wants that government check.

Older kids get warehoused. We haven't come far from the old orphanages of "Annie." We have "shelters" now. Can't have well run orphanages. Sheleters get overcrowded and kids get "sheltered " in juvie. Or sent back to crack head parent who has managed to look "clean" for 3 months.

If the child is a in an unfit environment they must be removed. By unfit I mean dangerous. But the media focuses on and the children's agencies follow that focus to remove kids from homes because mommy or daddy spanked them. The crackhead however gets the kid back over and over and over. Loses one to the system and just pops out another.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I can only do what I have done is do what I can for the ones that I come in contact.

I worked for a company that was in the business of educating disadvantage youth. My contribution was taking extra care for the ones I recognized as your subject describe. There were kids that never received a easter basket in their life. Do you think a 16 yr old girl would cry when she received a Easter Basket. Yes she did. I made 5 that year. The basket was filled with teen goodies. Lip gloss, books, lotions, gift certificate to drug store and no Easter Basket is complete without a Big Chocolate Easter bunny.

It does not take much to make a child happy and make it possible to soften them to want to go further in life.

You do what you can.

Our Gov't and media could help by not vilifying the poor. It makes the weak minded think that it is justified to attempt to ignore we have a problem in America and children do not need to be punished to make them feel they are special or rich because they can buy dinner.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Posted by sleeplessinftwayne z4-5 IND (My Page) on Mon, Aug 27, 12 at 23:34

"Florey, how do you know she was a prostitute? Was she wearing a sign? Did someone tell you?"

Posted by florey (My Page) on Mon, Aug 27, 12 at 15:28

"I've been thinking of this girl on a stoop, I saw for a minute last year, in a far town, who, when asked for directions, the answering was taken, over by a nearby young man."

Yes; I'm wondering about that, too. The prose is very nice, though. Good cadence.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Very well written, I saw into her eyes. I think what I was getting at is, even if it is her parents, no matter where the problems lie, she needs to realize what's going on. It's her life. Wakeup! Who among us doesn't have an excuse? Yes, very much, but for the grace of God, could be every one of us.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Yes, why don't you lecture her here on our forum--shape up, girl! That obviously is the solution.

Of course, she is not reading this forum, but don't let that stop you. Just keep lecturing her here on this forum, telling her to shape up even if she doesn't know that you and this forum even exist. Well, it will make you at least feel better, I guess.

Kate


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Kate,

I'm one of those. Nobody is lecturing. I cannot tell you what I've overcome in my lifetime. I am not spectacular. I'm as ordinary as they come. She too can hope. Just like the girl in Push (Precious). She doesn't have to take it any more. I didn't. I found out neglect was a form of child abuse until about a decade ago. Made a lot of sense when I heard it. Never been shoved, burned with cigarettes, or told I was worthless, but I sure had that hole. I do feel better after healing. Moreover, I hope she learns how to feel better. I hope this brings you understanding.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Are you thinking about the old song "MacArthur Park", elvis, where Someone left the cake out in the rain?

I simply don't get the leap from a momentary encounter to a catalogue of this person's life.

I'm not cruel or heartless and I know there are as many hard looking people as there are doughty looking passives - bet they've got a story someone could write, too. Being weighed down emotionally gets in the way of any kind of positive help you might want or need (because you're human or it's the job you get paid to do) to render. Carrying someone's offloaded baggage - real or imaginary - gives too much power to the offloader.

I've always been a peacemaker; I don't confront or knowingly hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm not an angst-sucking sponge. And over the years I've had opportunities to be just that.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I have to go back to the "sitting on the stoop" thing. I checked with an acquaintance who happens to be a police officer and he laughed. A prostitute sitting on a stoop is in more trouble than being charged with prostitution. She wouldn't last an hour before being picked up. She can be charged with trespassing, loitering, creating an attractive nuisance, obstruction of traffic and several other charges outside of the charge of prostitution. In most places you won't ever see a prostitute sitting down because if you are on your feet and moving even a little bit you cannot be arrested unless you are actually caught in the act of selling your services.

He also said that there are a dozen reasons why a girl such as you describe would be sitting on the stoop, none of which involved something illegal. If the girls living conditions were not known to the local policemen already, they would try to keep track of her and if it looked like a problem existed, they would either send out a police investigator or someone from Social Services to check on her welfare.

I won't say that we don't need to have concern for those who seem lost but sadly, there are those who are lost that we cannot help beyond a certain point. That does not mean that they are victims who can be trained to perform at levels that you consider normal or that someone is responsible for their lack that must be punished. Did you consider that young man was her relative or caretaker, rather than her pimp? Or that he answered because she did not have the capacity to give directions?


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I grew up in the days before air conditioning and TV. Houses in those days were built (in the midwest, anyway) with generous front porches and wide steps, and sometimes on an especially hot evening, our whole family would sit out in front, the kids on the steps, and engage in family small-talk and chit-chat--it was a time to cool off and enjoy some family togetherness.

I imagine there are many other reasons why people sit on the front steps. Myself, I remember those occasions rather fondly. On the other hand, maybe she is the hopeless young woman the poster imagines. Sitting here at our computers and typing She doesn't have to take it any more. I didn't. isn't much help, however, since she is not inside at her computer reading Hot Topics and therefore has no way of knowing that she doesn't have to take it and that others have not. As I said before, lecturing (OK--you like "giving advice" better?) to the computer is a waste of time.

Kate


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Sorry it doesn't help you Kate (obviously you've never been there, but you sure know all about helping every last person who is in that sort of situation. They're all so poor and helpless, they need you to help them each and every time. Pat them on their pitiful lil' ol' heads and they'll be all better now), but I hope someone else comes across it, understands more deeply than you do, and finds their hope. Their own empowerment. Why you want to steal or demean hope is quite puzzling???

Mostly, I find it amazing that you can know so deeply, everything about me and the intentions behind my comments, while telling us all to stop supposing about the lady on the stoop.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Rob, I have come to the conclusion that much on this forum isn't about the topics, it's an opportunity to lash out about God Knows What kind of baggage that people are carrying around. For some, it's a need to disparage and insult other people that they perceive not "one of them."

I understand what you are saying, and why you said it.
BTW, I'm glad you realized what could be an impediment to living the best life you can, acknowledged it, dealt with it, and have learned.

If only we could all do the same!

We can see anyone and come up with a narrative--sometimes be absolutely accurate, sometimes way off base. Assumptions. They can get us into trouble, and they can save someone's life.

We tend to make assumptions that confirm what we tend to believe.
In that regard, making an assumption that someone is a "victim" is no different than making an assumption that they are a "criminal" or choose their life.

The fact is we just don't know until we know.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Thanks Demi! I think, pondering her possible life is wrong if we mean her and her only-but seeing her as a representative of certain lifestyles and how to best alleviate those circumstances is fine. Deep thiking is an important endeavor. Least, I think so!

I figure having as many sides to an issue as possible makes the best determination, but maybe, it's that validation was being sought. Did the OP actually have a point in all of this? I thought it was merely an observation that prompted their dialogue and wanted to open up dialogues to others in order to facilitate an understanding or for problem solving. I must be naive!


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Somehow the thought that sitting on a stoop was a sign of illegal activity never would have occurred to me or that an empty expression identified that person as a sex worker, or that a stranger getting a glimpse of that person and stoop would be able to draw accurate conclusions in that brief amount of time.

The original conclusion was ugly. There is no possible way that the conclusion had any validity. It was all made up in the mind of the person who got a glimpse of a person in one short moment of time. Why? Who knows. Maybe she believes that all passive, doughy, small town females are whores and that sitting on a stoop is an offer to sell. Maybe she just likes making up stories to showcase her "compassion". Maybe she actually believes her story is the truth. Show me some evidence, please.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Exactly, sleeplessinftwayne. For once we agree.

Kate


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

She was one of a group / stable. The oily young man kept insisting on taking control of the conversation.
I'm not acusing a person, I'm horified by her being trapped in it.

There was stuff on e news about girls backgrounds. It wasn't good.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

She was one of a group / stable. The oily young man kept insisting on taking control of the conversation.
I'm not acusing a person, I'm horified by her being trapped in it.

There was stuff on e news about girls backgrounds. It wasn't good.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Okay - so e news had this article on the very "stoop sitting whore" you chanced upon to ask for directions?

Forgive me, but that would be like me having the now deceased idiot gene pool loser in a ghillie suit fly over the hood of my car after he was very suddenly thwarted from creating a fake Bigfoot sighting.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I have to believe my policeman acquaintance. This just would not have happened. Such a gathering would have had the attention of the police almost immediately with the purpose of moving them on.

First we have a lone, passive, doughy, small town whore sitting on a stoop with her pimp in attendance. Now we have a group/stable and the young man is now oily? Just how many prostitutes does this small town have anyway in order to have a stable of them working the same location? I have always heard that prostitutes are very aggressive about possession of a good location, sharing it only with a very few others for safety's sake. It would not make sense in any way as it is vital to avoid the attention a stable would attract from the police as well as the fact it would cut into the available customer base and the asking price. One thing a pimp does have is a keen business sense if he has that many girls and this scenario would be bad business.

With that many girls available there must have been a parade of cars pulling up. I would not have stopped for a minute, lost or needing directions be da**ed. Talk about making yourself vulnerable!!

I'm with Kate. That dead guy in the gilly suit really gets around.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

I'm not Kate.

If it was florey's intention to tell a story that could spark thoughtful discussion, that's one thing. To insert one's self into the story is quite something else.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

Sorry, for the grammatical and spelling errors, Duluthinbloom. I agree with you both and didn't make that plain. Thanks for the ghillie suit reference. It was very appropriate and timely.


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RE: Passive, doughy, small town whore, on a stoop

In reflection, after re-reading the entire thread several times, I've come to agree with you both.


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