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Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Posted by Bothell none (My Page) on
Wed, Nov 21, 12 at 14:29

This has been around for years, but I still find it funny

"Dear Family & Friends,
I know that you were eager to accept my family's invitation to Thanksgiving dinner when you found out that the famous Martha Stewart would be joining us.
However, due to scheduling conflicts beyond her control, Ms. Stewart finds that she is unable to grace our table this year. With that in mind, there will be a few minor changes regarding the meal and decor, as outlined below. Please be aware of them, and adjust your appetite and dress appropriately. Thank you.

1) Our driveway will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After several trial runs and two visits from the fire department, it was decided that, no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
2) Once inside, please note that the entry space will not be decorated with swags of Indian corn and fall foliage. Instead, I've gotten our daughter involved in decorating by having her track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was her idea.

3) The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this is Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the paper Cinderella dinner plates, the leftover Halloween napkins, and my famous Garfield cup collection.
4) Our centerpiece will not be a tower of fresh fruit and flowers. Instead we will be proudly displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper and macaroni. The artist assures me it is a turkey, albeit one without wings, legs, or a beak.
5) We will be dining somewhat later than planned.
However, our daughter will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure she will be happy to share every choice comment her mother made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims, stuffing choices, the turkey hotline, and, especially, her husband. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 7:00 AM upon discovering that said husband had only remembered to pull the turkey from the freezer at 6:00 AM, and that the thing was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

6) As an accompaniment to our daughter's recital of these events, I will play a recording of Native American tribal drumming. Curiously, the tribal drumming sounds a great deal like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, but that only enhances the holiday appropriateness. If our daughter should mention that we don't own a recording of Native American tribal drumming, ignore her. She's only eight; what does she know?

7) A dainty silver bell will not be rung to announce the start of our feast. We have chosen to keep our traditional method of assembling when the smoke alarm goes off.

8) There will be no formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask all the children to sit at a separate table.
In a separate room.
Next door.

9) The turkey will not be carved at the table. I know you have seen the Norman Rockwell image of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. Such a scene may occur somewhere in America , but it won't be happening at our dinner table. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in the kitchen at a private ceremony. I stress "private", meaning "Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children, or older, helpful grandparents into the kitchen to check on my progress. I have a very large, very sharp knife. The turkey is unarmed.
It stands to reason that I will eventually win the battle. When I do, we will eat."

10) Instead of offering a choice among 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You still have a choice: take it or leave it.
That concludes our list of alterations. Again, I apologize that Martha will not be joining us this year. Come to think of it, she probably won't come next year, either."

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Too cute, and too true!

Thanks for sharing.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

That was funny and the first time I've seen it! Hope you don't mind if I pass it along.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Cute! And such are the realities of a true American family gathering! ;-)

Where something is always spilled, broken, or likewise made into an unexpected mess of epic proportions... where the turkey slices are anything but perfect... where there's never enough oven and stove top room to have every dish emerge perfectly done at the same time... and if you want to announce dinner being served, you locate the door to the garage where everyone is gathered, shivering without jackets, laughing, drinking various alcoholic beverages and smoking around a single ashtray!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

That's hysterical; had never seen it.

I really do have to smile when I thumb through the "holiday" issues of Martha Stewart Living. I never seem to have time to carve a wood block to print invitations (or place cards) on my home-made paper. I believe a potato would work in the absence of an honest-to-goodness woodblock.

Hollowing out a gourd to hold a few springs of bittersweet would be nice for a centerpiece, but so would a crystal compote with Sweet Gum tree spurs adding an apple, pear, plum, and cherry.

Found a couple of sets of pilgrim candles - obviously used before since they're now headless. But Martha had ideas for that - chisel out some turnips to hold tea lights.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

That was funny, Bothell! I had never seen it before. I laughed all the way through, and DH finally asked me what was so darned funny. Thanks for sharing, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Nik


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

That was fun I read it to my office mates they all got a kick out of it!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Thanks! Glad everyone enjoyed it. Here's my personal contribution to T day humor. The year one of my pumpkin pies was served with a mound of whip cream in the center of the pie - because I saw the cat on the counter sniffing at it & being somewhat paranoid, I cut the center out & filled it w/whip cream. Nobody died or got sick so you're all hearing about it first.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

That was fun.

If an HT guest would have been coming, the list would have included extravagant cranberry sauce made with fresh cranberries replaced with the traditional canned Ocean Spray complete with rings!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Bothell, very funny! Did not hear it before. I am quite sure that everyone can see her- or him- self somewhere in that scene
Permit me to add one which is my personal favorite because I now can relate to both cultures.
The conversation is between two youngsters - one, American; and the other, English.
The one is explaining the meaning of Thanksgiving and ends with "...too bad you guys don't have Thanksgiving in England."
"But we do!"
"You do? When?"
"Fourth of July!"


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Thanks for the laughs!

I can relate to the table decorations. One year my mother had laid the table with good linen, silver, china, and crystal. The young Brownie Troop daughter of guests arrived bearing her hand-crafted Idaho potato place card holders. My mother helped her set them around the table with an only slightly forced smile.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

"Found a couple of sets of pilgrim candles - obviously used before since they're now headless. But Martha had ideas for that - chisel out some turnips to hold tea lights."

Tooo funny ;D


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I've never seen this before either but I love it! Long gone are the days when I tried to make everything picture perfect for holiday meals. Simply impossible with a family gathering of 20 + ....at least this family!

I do like to set my table in a festive way and use all the"good stuff" but all that really matters to me now is that we are together, laughing , yes the odd argument , that the turkey isn't over cooked and there is enough leftover for my turkey and stuffing sandwich on spongy white bread next day!


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Had the pie incident happen once with a B-Day cake and a hungry dog instead of a cat... a small portion of one side was built entirely of frosting, but no one noticed, and the party went off without a hitch... besides, it's only dog saliva... way cleaner than the human mouth any day of the week!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I used to have Thanksgiving here and set a pretty table. I inherited a huge antique Leeds serving plate trimmed in feathery green edging, circa 1820 or so. The story was my grandmother bought it at an auction for a quarter when she was first married. The table was all set with the empty platter in the middle to make sure there was room. The turkey came out of the oven, I went in the dining room for the platter and on it lay my orange tabby cat, Louie all tucked in. We grabbed the camera and have it saved for posterity. Washed the plate, and we were good to go. With six animals running around, stuff happens.


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I can attest to that, Lily! Great story! :-)


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Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Funny stories. I also made a cranberry sorbet one year that was jostled out of it's mold after I tripped right outside my hostess' front door. She conspired with me to cut off the bottom that had hit the front walkway, and we considered it as good as new.

We are doing readings of things that we are grateful for at my family's celebration this year ... its a deal that kind of comes and goes for us, but I made drop the original post into the basket instead of writing something personal. :)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Love it!

Our first Thanksgiving as a married couple had us putting a little bit of ourselves in the pie we made to take ... both of us cut our thumb slicing the apples using one of those V-slicers.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Would you be willing to share that picture, Lilly? What a sweet story!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

You people are not doing much for my appetite here.

I've been reading a bit on the internet about Thanksgiving.

"There are two birds," Rosenblatt explained, "the presidential turkey and the vice presidential turkey, which is an alternate, in case the presidential turkey is unable to perform its duties."

Rosenblatt is the one who donated the turkeys that got pardoned, but, in my wee little brain, I took it quite literally.

Which brings me to my last quote that popped into my lil brain before I head off to eat...

""It's hard to soar with the eagles when you work with turkeys."

So long, turkeys!!!

Hope you all have a great day!!!

Hay


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I cooked apples this morning for fried pies for a gumbo dinner I'm hosting Saturday.

I had just added 5 pounds of sugar (maybe 4, didn't they change the sacks of sugar?) to a large container with a spout and apparently did not put the top back on securely.

Pouring the sugar directly from the container over the boiler of cooking apples into the boiler, the top fell into the boiler along with all of the sugar and overflowed the pan onto the cooktop and smothered the propane burner. I managed to save the apples by straining when I got to the bottom of the pan, saved enough of the liquid and was just going to clean up all the sugar on my stovetop, countertop, floor and the propane burner when I turned and knocked over the pan of hot apples and juice all over my wood floors.

The last hour was spent cleaning up the mess.

Good laugh for me!

The good thing is, I rummaged in the freezer and found another quart of the much preferred fresh peaches I put up this summer to make peach fried pies tomorrow.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Oh demi - what a tragic story (and an awful lot of cleaning up). Hope all is well since then ....


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I envision Paula Dean "Oh darned, I spilled the shu-ga, y'all." ;-)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Thanks for the laughs. Thanksgiving and Christmas family dinner stories tend to be funny - at least the next day they are.

One year my sister and I made Thanksgiving dinner for our fairly new respective spouses. We went all out and made pumpkin pies although with store bought pie crust shells. Made the filling and baked them up, added the whipped cream and then went to cut them up after dinner. Well, turns out that bought pie crust shells have a piece of waxpaper (invisible to the naked eye) on them. So, yep, the waxpaper on our pies is still there, right between the pie crust and the filling. We scrapped out the filling, took out the waxpaper and piled everything back in. It was messy looking but still good. The really sad part is that our mother taught cooking classes for years, obviously a gene that we missed.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Demi...that sounds like a real mess.

I can add to the funnys today. SIL called and asked me to bring my turkey baster. Daughter calls and asks me to bring coffee and some homegrown carrots which she decided to make. I walked the dogs and husband said when I returned grandson called and asked me to bring whipped cream or Cool Whip. I happened to have bought creamy Cool Whip two days ago and had it on a shelf in the refrigerator. I packed all the stuff up and we went over. I handed the Cool Whip over and daughter got this look on her face. I said>>what? I just bought this two days ago. She said it's yellow and peeled off the lid. It seems while I walked the dogs, husband put some fresh pineapple in a cool whip container which was sitting right beside the REAL thing. So pumpkin pie had no topping this year....


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Demi...that sounds like a real mess.

I can add to the funnys today. SIL called and asked me to bring my turkey baster. Daughter calls and asks me to bring coffee and some homegrown carrots which she decided to make. I walked the dogs and husband said when I returned grandson called and asked me to bring whipped cream or Cool Whip. I happened to have bought creamy Cool Whip two days ago and had it on a shelf in the refrigerator. I packed all the stuff up and we went over. I handed the Cool Whip over and daughter got this look on her face. I said>>what? I just bought this two days ago. She said it's yellow and peeled off the lid. It seems while I walked the dogs, husband put some fresh pineapple in a cool whip container which was sitting right beside the REAL thing. So pumpkin pie had no topping this year....


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

None of your mishaps matched an old neighbor of mine who set his wood deck and home on fire with one of those turkey fryers. It's bad when the Fire Department has to put out Thanksgiving dinner... and your house along with it.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

OMG, Heri. Today?


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

No this was a few years ago. My old neighbor's wife saw a demonstration of a turkey being fried on a TV program so he purchase one of these turkey fryer contraptions (which I hope have been improved upon since) and invited a bunch of friends and family over for fried turkey..

Anyway, after he put the bird in its bubbling oil bath the oil started to boil over beyond a sheet of cement board he had under it and on to underlying wood deck. He foolishly tried to cool it off with water but it then lit on fire and started the deck on fire and, in what seemed like two minutes , the back wall of the house as well.

If anyone had a fire extinguisher this would never have gotten out of hand.
This was beyond a "someone left the cake out in the rain" type cooking related mistake. These people were humiliated in front of their Thanksgiving guests, the neighbors and the Fire Department who were professional and did not openly laugh, but you could see they were rather amused.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

My husband told me a neighbor two doors up was deep frying a turkey on his porch. I told my family, I hope he didn't burn the whole block down. But all was well when we returned. I read every year people doing this.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Heri, the very best wild turkey I've ever tasted was fried in peanut oil using one of those very large propane fired deep fryers. We set it up several yards down the sidewalk, just in case... and had a fire extinguisher handy, just in case. I all too clearly remember an oil fire in my Mom's kitchen when I was a child, and have been extremely wary of fire or the possibility thereof ever since, and insist upon being adequately prepared. One never knows.

If I recall, there's something about oil temperature, oil depth, pot depth, flame height, displacement room, speed of dipping the bird into the oil... or something... but I do remember that we cooked a fairly large bird in a mere 45 minutes from start to finish, and it was the most tender, moist turkey I've ever tasted! Crispy on the outside, but fantastic inside!

We'd never do it again, just because of the amount of oil needed, its cost, and the fact that we'd need to fry a lot of things to make it all worth while before properly disposing of all that oil... and that's without mentioning cholesterol numbers associated with all that fried food!

There are three things I never mess with, or am extra careful of... electric, gas, and fire. I know enough to know that they are not my areas of expertise, and I should step back and let a knowledgeable expert handle them! That would be my husband. Plus... he's a way better cook than I to begin with, and I don't mind admitting that one bit! :-)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Blfenton, funny story about the pies!

Perfectly understandable though, if you didn't know--those wax papers are difficult to see.

I knew my mom pulled out a bag from the turkey but I didn't know she pulled TWO bags out--one with giblets and another with bones or something. The first turkey I made for my first married Thanksgiving I left one of them in the turkey cavity. My parents had driven out 13 hours to see us and I was so proud of my new china and lace tablecloth and my first Thanksgiving dinner. Then DH carved the turkey and eventually we found the plastic bag--my dad seemed to think it was funny.

SO many people in this part of the country fry their turkeys and it can be quite dangerous. Of course most people know to do that far away from the house and with a fire extinguisher nearby. Poor fellow must have been very embarrassed and wish he'd ordered a smoked turkey or something!

Lily, no topping? Well, sounds like your family depends on you to always have what people need, that is something they will always remember.

After a rough night of getting sick after I returned home from my friend's house (had to be something someone brought, I NEVER get sick) the Sprite and crackers are fortifying me and those peaches are thawing and so the fried pie making begins.

No, Heri, I'm about as far away from Paula Deen as you can get. I am identifiable as a Southerner from my manner of speaking, but I truly don't have much of an accent.

And I did not say one bad word when that mishap occurred, only chuckled! (There have been days when a da** or he$$ might have been heard)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Turkey frying has set a Chicagoland homeowner back $80K this year. Maybe do not try this *inside* of your garage? Maybe realize that the turkey will displace some of the hot oil, which will flow over the sides of the fryer, onto the flame below the fryer? Whoooossshhh! No garage. (I think he escaped serious injury.)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Turkey frying has set a Chicagoland homeowner back $80K this year. Maybe do not try this *inside* of your garage? Maybe realize that the turkey will displace some of the hot oil, which will flow over the sides of the fryer, onto the flame below the fryer? Whoooossshhh! No garage. (I think he escaped serious injury.)

That's an awesome idea!

*says the woman with a rickety wood garage standing right in the perfect spot for a greenhouse*


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

My husband is in a pretty intense argument with his brother right now. Brother and his wife and a bunch of their 'best buds' went to the family cottage for the week-end. Proceeded to get sloshed (I'm assuming.... that's what usually happens, and the pictures on FB would confirm) and then deep-fried a turkey on the deck. Right beside the cedar cottage. About 4 feet away from the large propane tank. Luckily no one was hurt but the deck is now a greasy, disgusting mess - probably ruined. Brother is smart enough to know better.... but once the PAH-TY is on... all bets are off.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

the deck is now a greasy, disgusting mess

On the bright side, it's now fully sealed and waterproofed.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Fri, Nov 23, 12 at 11:20

*says the woman with a rickety wood garage standing right in the perfect spot for a greenhouse*

"giggle"


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

True, Hamiltongardener. :) Too bad it's not a nice, even finish instead of the splotchy, spotty mess it is. Plus it's a bit slippery.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

"giggle"

It's all about priorities.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Plus it's a bit slippery.

That will make for some interesting attempts at BBQ in the future.

Keep a camera handy at all times.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

demi - glad you're feeling better, hate to get THOSE bugs!

Speaking of the giblet packet (thank goodness they are now in paper bags) ... I'm pretty sure that in the last 20 years, it has been cooked EVERY year at my house. Just can't see to get the hang of finding it ... and me thinking they left it out "just this once". Apparently it was hiding in the neck cavity this year. Why? the rib cage is a huge space, why not put it there where it is easy to find?!

Sigh, maybe next year ... well the cats enjoy it cooked anyway.


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No, Heri, I'm about as far away from Paula Deen as you can get. I am identifiable as a Southerner from my manner of speaking, but I truly don't have much of an accent.

Understood. I bet a lot of us are different than what folks perceive us to be, appearance and otherwise. My comment came about because of her use of tons of sugar in her recipes as you were doing there with the 5 pound bag fiasco.
Paula is a rather sweet lady though and has done pretty well for herself and her family - financially and otherwise. So, if you were compared to her it would not be the worst thing.


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Demi...hell and damn would have been the mildest words I would have used in your little mishap.

Rilie... I'm guessing brother-in-law and buddys will sober up and have a cleaning party this weekend. What a near catastrophe.

I have cooked more than one bag of giblets left in the bird. I'm guessing Daughter didn't yesterday, but she has too in the past.


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Haha, Heri, yes, I get the "sugar" thing. Funny, I don't recall opening a bag of sugar all year long until then, I seldom use it except for baking or a teaspoon or so in spaghetti sauce.

I liked watching Paula Deen when she first appeared on the cooking show scene, but it seemed after she gained notoriety the recipes became a little silly with so much sugar and butter.

Also, comparing her older shows with the more recent it's quite apparent she has a much more intentional, pronounced
southern accent than she did have--no doubt to market herself.

The way I'd want to be compared to her is her hard working determination to provide for her family as a single mom and her cooking talents. Of course, that success has been parlayed into a multimillion dollar business and I salute her for those accomplishments, as well.

Other than posters that have shared their photographs, I don't have a specific idea of any of you, but a general idea--sort of a blurry ghost like persona, but no specific facial features or hairstyles or color, or body image.

I think we would all be more careful with our words to one another and our judgments (myself included) if we had actually met. I will say that this group of posters, collectively, possesses a great deal of intellect, talent and other admirable traits.


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What a lovely thing to post demi.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

We haven't had our Thanksgiving dinner yet. I just got home from the hospital Wednesday afternoon (almost two weeks there - lots of "bumps in the road" but I am slowly - very slowly - recovering). DH bought a fresh turkey Tuesday but neither of us have had the strength to cook the entire meal. It took me 3 hours yesterday to make pumpkin pies, even with store-bought crusts. Could only work about 15 minutes and then back to bed to recover. This morning I broke up the dried bread for stuffing. Later, today, I'll put the giblets, onion and celery in the food processor so that all will be ready tomorrow morning. I was counting on DH to do a lot but for almost 2 weeks he got very little sleep and now has developed stomach problems and is almost as wrung out as I am.

But, the fact that I am home, recovering from something truly awful (DH was wondering if he would be spending the rest of his Thanksgivings with just the cats) is the best thing for which we are thankful.


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dockside- I'm thankful that you are on the mend from what ails you and that you and your DH will have a calm Thanksgiving. Do take it easy, both of you. (((hugs)))


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Fri, Nov 23, 12 at 13:24

Dockside I am glad that you and your DH have a "thanksgiving", which can be any day/month together....yes much to be thankful for.


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Dockside, I must have missed your illness. It seemed you've been here posting all along but time plays tricks with me. Anyway, I'm glad you're home where you belong, and I hope you and your husband have the best Thanksgiving ever and continue with your full recovery to good health. Take it easy and rest . ..after you "pig out" on T-giving dinner.


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Dockside, I hope you recover quickly.


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I noticed a little discussion upthread a bit re deep fried turkey--we have done it with great success--and it only takes an hour! Jodi's right about the peanut oil--delish.

Cement patio out of the wind is a good (safe) spot ;)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

FYI-the giblet bag is put in the neck cavity to make the breast look smooth and plump-always check-you need to be washing that area anyway.

I would love to see the picture of the cat on the platter-orange is my favorite color of cat-it sort of makes you think of those Midieval presentations of swans and peacocks with the feathers on!


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Thanks for all the well-wishes. I am totally awed at the caring and concern of our friends, relatives, and most of all, neighbors who "looked after" DH, brnging meals for him to eat (and later for us to eat when I got home). My favorite cat, a Maine Coon, "punished" me when I got home. Wouldn't come near me. But, yesterday morning he got over his mad and has been by my side continuously since then. How I missed him and DH said he missed me. DH would call me and then hold the receiver to Max's ear so I could talk to him. Max would lick the receiver (licking is one of his ways of being affectionate). So, it's good to have him here beside me now.


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Dockside, I'm positively green with envy--Maine Coon is the most incredible breed. If this wasn't a shed-free household, I would have one--sigh.

I wish you all the best for a comfortable recovery ;)


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Dockside..I totally get it about your cat. Cats are like that. Yesterday when I was gone for over six hours, my dogs would have thought we were gone for six weeks. They leaped and jumped and danced. The cats sat there looking at us with malice in their eyes. Their food dishes were almost empty and their servant, me, wasn't there all day to meet their every need. But then they warmed up. I love Maine Coons. In all my 15 cats over the years, I never had one. What's his name? You'll have to share some of your dinner with him.


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The Louie cat- on- the- platter picture was taken a long time ago and not with a digital camera. I'm not quite sure if I know how to get it on here. It was priceless. He was a doll, sometimes a pain in the butt, but always unpredictable.


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"The Louie cat- on- the- platter picture was taken a long time ago and not with a digital camera. I'm not quite sure if I know how to get it on here."

You get a couple of refrigerator magnets and post it on your frig. Set the (digital) camera on a surface to hold the camera steady and snap away. You might be surprised at just how good a picture you get that way.

Same thing if you can't read the fine print on something and you can't find your glasses.

Hay


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I have a wooden door on my refrig, but I'll try later to anchor the picture another way and snap a shot of it...Thanks , Hay.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Here's our Maine Coon, Max, with the perfect hourglass on his nose.


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Oh, I love him. He's a real beauty.


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Magnificant guy, Dockside! His whiskers are just purrfect. Thanks for sharing. Just having a guy like that around must make you feel better. ;)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I had a Maine Coon cat in VT as a young married but he had to go when the baby came. Loved that cat and talk him to talk.

In appreciation, here are some "sayings" by famous and not-as-famous people;

Charles Leadbetter, on scaling

"There are Chinese restaurants everywhere, but there is no Chinese restaurant chain. The McDonald's model scales. The Chinese restaurant model spreads"

Corey Robin, on capitalism

"The moral secret of capitalism is not that we are free to choose, but that we are forced to choose"

Jane Smiley, on men

"Men are competent in groups that mimic the playground, incompetent in groups that mimic the family"

Demian Farnworth, on failure

"Failure can be a great teacher�especially if you learn from someone else�s failure"

Thomas Nagel, on science

"The world is an astonishing place, and the idea that we have in our possession the basic tools needed to understand it is no more credible now than it was in Aristotle�s day"

Will Davies, on cleverness

"One of the problems with clever people is that they transport their cleverness around like confetti, to chuck at people whether it's wanted or not"


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

What the heck, have a few more; it's late:

Quotations

Jaron Lanier, on stupidity

"An individual best achieves optimal stupidity on those rare occasions when one is both given substantial powers and insulated from the results of his or her actions"

Colin Blakemore, on near-death experiences

"Have you ever noticed that more people come back from Heaven than from Hell?"

Jack Shafer, on politicians

"Telling the truth is not great for campaigns. If it were, more people would be doing it"

Nicholas Beale, on complexity

"Biological systems are almost always more complex than you think � even when you allow for the fact that they are more complex than you think"

Francis Spufford, on beliefs

"The world cannot be disenchanted, and the choice before us is really a choice of enchantments"

Mary Beard, on matriarchy

"The myth of matriarchy is one of patriarchy's oldest inventions"

Le Corbusier, on drawing

"I prefer drawing to talking. Drawing is faster and leaves less room for lies"

W.H. Auden, on weddings

"Marriages should be celebrated quietly and humbly, because they are the beginning of something. Loud celebrations should be saved for successful conclusions"

Salman Rushdie, on censorship

"If the creative artist worries if he will still be free tomorrow, then he will not be free today"

Noam Chomsky, on monarchy

"Royalty serves a useful purpose: The pomp and ceremony helps undermine respect for state authority"


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Marshall--thanks for a great contribution to this beautiful fall Sunday Morning!

I enjoyed those. ;)


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Love it! My two Thanksgiving disasters:
1. One year, I decided to thaw my frozen turkey outdoors, the temps even at night were over 32. So I set my turkey just outside my back door. Thanksgiving morning, I opened my door to see turkey had been partly consumed by some animal(s). Sent DH out on a mad drive to find a store open with a fresh turkey or turkey parts available.
2. One year, we were invited to in-laws. BIL was making giblet gravy. He wanted to separate the giblets so some people could have plain gravy. He set up the strainer and proceeded to pour all the gravy down the sink. Thank Heaven for canned gravy! Please laugh even if I've told these stories before!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Those are good ones.

Particularly the animals that had an early Thanksgiving.

I heard a noise the other night and found one raccoon hanging on the side of my trash can holding the top open (it's on hinges) and his partner in crime diving in and getting dinner.

I always wondered how they did it, as when I open the trash something has always chewed a large spot in the bags and dragged enjoyed bread, vegetables, etc.

Animals are quite resourceful, especially taking advantage of humans!


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Good Sunday morning to you, Demi. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

Jannie, those were hilarious! I just something similar with a batch of tomato seeds that I had been processing for seed saving. I carefully poured off the fermented and floating debris, added water, repeated a number of times, then poured the last through a sieve to large. That was not funny.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

What a beautiful cat, Dockside, and what beautiful scenery in the background. So sorry you had to be away from your kitty, and in the hospital of all places. Glad you're home now. I hope that your energy returns quickly! Nik


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

Demi...I had a pet raccoon for two years, and he was like a toddler son. They are indeed smart little creatures with an uncanny ability to figure things out. A friend told me she saw a whole family standing on each others shoulders to reach the lid.


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RE: Thanksgiving Dinner humor - we can all use a laugh

I came home from work one day to find raccoon's had opened my side-by-side refrigerator/freezer. Mama coon decided the frozen side was inedible but the fridge side was spread across the kitchen floor like a smorgasbord-pretty much sampled and un-salvageable. The damage they did coming through the ceiling was more costly.
On a camping trip through the Florida Keys, I had raccoon's open and rob a ice chest that I struggled to open.
They are smart and they work to get their Thanksgiving dinner (regardless of the date).


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