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Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Posted by tobr24u z6 RI (My Page) on
Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 6:39

don't like it? And even ruder to regift it? I know HT members would not do this so I am just putting this out there as a hypothetical, but it does seem that a return record was set yesterday...


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

It may not mean they don't like it, it may just mean it was the wrong size, or they got two of them. Different reasons. As far as regifting, I don't see a problem with that either. If you don't need the gift, or it's not your style, but you know someone that would absolutely love it. Better to regift it then have it sit until you have a garage sale or a room fling.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I should of mentioned that size matters. But regifting just to unload it on someone else is still rude, IMHO, and I doubt it is given to some one that might love it...


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regifting is a cheapskates way to get out of paying for a present for someone else IMO


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Or defective -- so many products now are poorly made -- we didn't really "do Christmas" in my family this year, but in the past few years, we've always had some gift that needed to be returned because it came out of the box defective in some way - broken, missing something, flawed, just plain wouldn't work. Best ever was a name brand power tool a few years back that was plugged in, turned on, and began to smoke around the base of the electrical cord within about 20 seconds.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 8:43

A few years ago one of my daughters bought a digital camera, and then received one for a Christmas present at work. She re-gifted the camera to me. I did not have one and was thrilled to get it regardless that it was re-gifted.

I did not consider her a "cheapskate" at all.

Shrug


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

How about instead of listing the valid reasons for returning a gift, we list the reasons that the OP might consider are "not valid"? Like returning a gift because you really just wanted CASH? Or maybe that is valid too .....


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I'm with ohiomom on this one.

This year, I regifted a gift I received in 1994. You see, some dweeb gave me a baseball cap. I can't wear a man's baseball cap because, I actually wear much smaller sizes. And it was to NASCAR. Not that I hate it, but it's not my cup of tea. It was to the inaugural race of the Brickyard. I was saving it for just the right person. The person who received it, teared up. He loved that it was the inaugural Brickyard hat from the actual race, but loved it even more because his favorite driver won it. He even knew how many times he's won it. So is my regift ok because I waited so long and it's value has increased both monetarily and emotionally? Or is my regift ok because a dweeb gave me something I couldn't possibly have ever worn? All of that, and I still appreciated that he thought of me when he bought it. Far away in Indiana and still brought me back something. I loved that he went to effort for me. I can appreciate it and not keep it.

esh, I can't think of anywhere I can return a gift and get cash. Does that still happen?


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I have some gifts I received for many years others go to a thrift store immediately or are re gifted.
There is a notion that a gift is a meaningful representation of the esteem with which someone holds you.


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You're right rob, you can just get a store gift card, not cash. But that's pretty close.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

  • Posted by vgkg 7-Va Tidewater (My Page) on
    Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 10:07

If I get a BD or Xmas present that I really can't use I may later give it to someone who can use it. I don't "re-gift" it as another BD or Xmas present, just give it away without reason, just as a gift, even to a goodwill store if need be.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Unfortunately my home is full of gifts that people gave me that are not my taste or style or that I will never wear or use.

But I can't make myself get rid of them because of the thought, or fear I may see them and they'll ask about it.

My girls don't seem to have that problem, they thank the recipient and then give it to charity.

The problem with gift giving is many people don't truly consider why they're giving a gift and take the recipient's personality or needs into consideration. It's better for me to receive just a hug or a smile or well wishes than feel like someone just bought something because they felt obligated because of the occasion.

Money has nothing to do with it--I'd rather receive something useful like a can opener than a piece of jewelry or sweater that's not my taste or size.

If I thought someone turned in a gift of mine for cash, I'd never give them another gift. I go to a lot of trouble to select gifts, and the people in my life that I want to give cash to, I give cash to.

Usually younger people are the only ones I know that would take in gifts and try to get cash for it.

I don't like people telling me what they want for Christmas or their birthdays unless I ask. Hints are okay.


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Cheapskate

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 10:43

I don't give "with strings". Once given tis theirs to do with as they like. Maybe they needed the cash. Not mine to question and/or judge.

No "cents" left to give (^_^)


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You can keep giving all the cents you want ohiomom. Your currency is good here!


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I'll chime in on this topic since for the first time we gave someone a gift certificate at a favorite store this year. After last year I won't bother to spend my time on choosing something to fit the taste of this recipient. Previously I have made sure everyone knew that the gift could be exchanged or returned if it didn't suit. After all, there is nothing to account for taste and sizes do change. To my surprise, at the family gift exchange when she opened the Vera Wang sweater I bought her, she made fun of it and in general, embarrassed the daylights out of me. The gifts she has given me have been rather ugly concrete or polystone garden ornaments that I won't ever put in a place of honor but I do put them where they are useful and visible. DH said he knew a store she liked to shop at but didn't remember the name so he got the certificate. It turned out to be Steinmart, an overstock outlet. I hope she finds something that suits her.
In the meantime, my sisters have been very happy with their Vera Wang gifts.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

In my opinion, it's ruder to regift an item than it is to return it and get something you like better, or can use.

Regifting can turn around to bite you in the rear... especially if your circle of friends and relatives is small enough where someone might recognize the gift, or someone else should regift it again, and the original purchaser accidentally receives it.

I think it's better to return an item, and just get something you will actually use instead.

This is a small part of why gifts aren't so important to our family... we'd much prefer that you were just able to make it to the family dinner, so we can all spend time together. Stuff is meaningless in the larger picture... but time is precious.


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To me nothing is forever so no matter how appropriate the gift at the time, some day I will probably not want or need it anymore-goes for anything I give-the giving is the gift so I am not emotionaly connected with the gift itself-unless someone takes the opportunity to try and humiliate the me-wow, that would be a hard one...so often with these family gatherings you just have to think of everyone else and not torch the recipient.
I used to keep a big box of gifts that mostly my father-in-law gave me to use as gifts for showers and such of aquaintances-never close friends of course. He overwhelmed me with presents-all nice things but too much to use. I didn't feel any guilt about it as he wouldn't even remember what he had given me. It was like being given gifts for people-nice since we didn't have much money and he had good taste too.


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Hey Jodi, I wonder if you can help demi (((total wink, wink!))) Is it ok to throw out something if it cannot be returned (what if the giver made the gift)? Or, what does one do when it isn't their taste and cannot be returned? Is donating ok?

I have to agree with patriciae on the humiliating part. Who does that? Oh wait, I gave out my boss's gift to somme people while he was out and ONE of the remarks I heard I thought, hm, I'm glad she didn't say that to him!


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Ohio Mum in a case like you described I would contact the giver , explain the situation and ask if they minded if I gave the camera to my mother. Then its all open and above board.

Your daughter didnt give you the camera in place of giving you a presnet from her, it sounded like it was an "extra"

I am talking about a situation where the unwanted gift is rewrapped and given instead of the giver spending time /effort /money on choosing a gift .


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

For those that worry about regifting, what do you expect to happen to the item when you pass away. Better for you to regift or donate to some place that can use it than for the items to be tossed in the trash when you are gone.

This was told to me by someone downsizing as she looked at all the useful things that she had been given but were twenty years later no longer useful. In retrospect she was troubled by the thought that someone could have enjoyed items if they had been passed along.


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I don't give "with strings". Once given tis theirs to do with as they like. Maybe they needed the cash. Not mine to question and/or judge.

This is how I feel too.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 19:27

Ohio Mum in a case like you described I would contact the giver , explain the situation and ask if they minded if I gave the camera to my mother. Then its all open and above board.

"above board" ?????

Sorry you have lost me totally on this one.


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perhaps "above board" is an Australian saying.
"I am talking about a situation where the unwanted gift is rewrapped and given instead of the giver spending time /effort /money on choosing a gift . "

Your daughter didnt do this.

I was objecting to people who simply rewrap a present and regive it to somewone who thinks that it was the "regifter" who spent the time , effort and money .
that is what I meant by "cheapskate" cheapskate with their time and effort as well as money


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

YQ: Above board means the same thing in American English as it does in Australian English. What it implies is that the re-gifter is doing something dishonest and I think that's what OM is objecting to.

I personally don't have a problem in principle with the concept of re-gifting if the original gift is lovely and you are quite certain that the recipient will love it too. Once the gift is given, it is yours to do as you please with it to keep, donate or re-gift.

I have no problem re-gifting wine and spirits, nor do I have a problem receiving re-gifted wine or spirits.

I wouldn't re-gift clothing, but then again I would never buy anyone an article of clothing as a gift since I would never presume to know what the recipient would like and I would be surprised if anyone bought me an article of clothing. We just don't exchange those kinds of gifts.



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...in the eyes of

  • Posted by ohiomom 3rdrockfromthesun (My Page) on
    Tue, Dec 27, 11 at 20:52

WOW !! Tough crowd, glad I am not on some folk's Christmas list here :)

Ohiomom aka the "cheapskate"


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I would say... instead of regift, just donate the gift in question to a worthy local charity. Why would someone throw out a gift that's new and perfectly good? That makes no sense, and is simply wasteful.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I received a beautiful hand blown margarita set one year. The pitcher and the glasses, which came from an upscale store. I hate margaritas, not sure why the person thought otherwise. Put away in the top of my closet still boxed. Then I received a wedding invitation from someone who I absolutely knew loved margaritas. I regifted. Gave something lovely, to someone who loved it, and it is still in use years later.


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Would you have preferred a set of martini glasses?


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The bathrobe I'm using today is one that I gave my aunt in what turned out to be the last year of her life. When we had to dismantle her home after she died, I found the robe, complete with tags, hanging in her closet. I liked the robe enough to give it, now it's back with me.

i have also been on the receiving end of regifting. I gave a gift and received it right back as a gift the following year.

My bottom line - return the unwanted gift to the store.


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My sister once bought a house after the owner died. In the attic I found some of his clothes which I wore for years. You could call them a gift from the grave...


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Exactly, mrsk. It's like having your own little "store" at home. What exactly is the difference between going into your little stash of gifts which you keep in a closet at home and going to the store and picking something from their stash? Is it because the recipient would not be able to return the gift for cash? I'm not sure I understand what the objection is. Also, what if you are the kind of person who buys presents all year and keeps a stash handy for special occasions and holidays?

Although not technically a re-gift, sometimes we will give an item from our own personal art or antique collection that is unique and tailored specifically for the person receiving it. We gave our good friend, who is a photographer an antique (but usable) wooden camera, which she currently uses for her own creative endeavors and for teaching old photography techniques. Didn't cost us a dime but the recipient was over the moon with the gift we gave her. Both givers and givee were delighted!


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I think the difference, here, is that we're talking about a fictitious item that one receives and doesn't like... and then turns around and gifts it to someone else, knowing they probably wouldn't like it, either... but hey, at least you got rid of it.

Versus what you're talking about, Jerzee, which is giving a beloved item to someone you know likes it or will appreciate it... or having the foresight to buy some items ahead of time so you always have a gift on hand, just in case... neither of which constitutes "regifting".

Big differences in motivation, in my opinion.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Regifting because it's a cheap way to give a gift is totally different than regifting when you know that someone would love something you have no use for. Which is what I think we are talking about. jz, gave something she knew someone would love and use, so did I, as well as ohiomom's daughter. So, I guess it's a personal thing. And the motives behind it.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Thanks Jodi! There you go demi, donate it. Don't feel guilty knowing it'll go some new home that loves it. You don't have to throw it out (now I am serious, not winking) :)

Me too MrsK! I gave the hat to him because I knew he'd love it. So that is the distinction. "Giving to get rid of it" is rude. Returning isn't rude. Passing it on to someone who would love it more than you, don't we do that all the time? Does it matter from whom it came?


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Great Rob, if I can get over the guilt that the person might die right after I donate it. I'm working on it, and have to, because my daughters complained at Thanksgiving that they would have to quit their jobs and move back here to have an estate sale.

I told them no worry, I would change the will and bequeath the house and its contents to someone who would appreciate my stuff. ;)

Serious decluttering of drawers and closets and the attic are in order this year!

And of course, giving someone an item for whatever reason you know that you will never use or like, or haven't used, that you know they would love, is perfectly in order and "green."

I keep a "gift closet" with baby gifts, candles, creams, handtowels, wine and such so that I always have a generic gift and don't have to drive into town and fight crowds when I need a last minute gift. But something that someone bought especially for me because they particularly thought I would like it--I couldn't regift.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

  • Posted by kwoods Cold z7 Long Is (My Page) on
    Wed, Dec 28, 11 at 10:52

Isn't it the thought that counts? I would never give a gift, regardless of where it originated, that I didn't think the recipient would enjoy or find useful.

I don't think the origin of a gift matters. What does matter is that no one should ever be offended by the whole gift giving "thing". Just because I personally wouldn't be insulted at receiving a regift or if someone regifted something I gave them I shouldn't expect others to feel the same way. Treacherous social waters.

Booze and lottery tickets are safe gifts in my social circles.


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We have some non-immediate family members that used to return our gifts for store credit, or gift cards then convert credits and gift cards to cash.

We started buying them gift cards for restaurants and sub shops that they actually use.


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I cringe when I see so many people spending lots of money for 'gifts' for others and running the risk of the recipient not liking it. Such waste of money, not to mention the time involved.

We decided long ago what Christmas presents are for children. No one else gets anything. (Well, I give my adult son money.) Or set a cash limit on presents, perhaps $20.

I hate to see all the waste in the name of Christmas.


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haha JMC. I have a robe too :) It's my favorite 'inheritance'.


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I bought my mother a necklace once, I really thought she liked it because she wore it every time she came to visit. One of the strange effects of her dementia was brutal honesty and just before she died she told me that she only wore the "bl**dy necklace" to please me. I am still not sure I prefer the honesty.


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Do you still have the necklace?

Well, I don't prefer that kind of honestly either, but I have to admire your mom for going out on her terms.


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I've never regifted - never had the occasion to do so. But I don't see anything more wrong with it than taking a box-load of usable (to someone) stuff down to Goodwill.

One of my cousins used to send a beloved aunt flannel nightgowns and furry "wedgie" slippers every Christmas. She detested flannel and no 96 year old should be walking around in furry wedgies. In doing the death sort, I appropriated these things, still folded and boxed, tags still on. And make very good use of them, I might add - and probably will for the rest of my natural lifetime.



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Regifting puts a dent in China's economy. Therefore, regifting must be good.

-Ron-


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I think that's why I value the brutal honesty within my family so much... no one would ever do something just to please me, or lie to salve feelings... and that's the way we prefer it. If they don't like something, they tell me right away... and vice versa. No hurt feelings later, and no trying to remember who a lie was told to for what purpose...

Some people don't like brutal honesty, and some can't handle it... to be perfectly honest. But it's one of the things we value.

I get the distinct feeling that a lot of folks wouldn't hold up too well within the circle of my family.


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IMO, once a gift is given, its up to the person who receives it, to do want they want with it. Id I've done my job as a gift giver, I would hope its something they that like and keep. But if doesn't fit, doesn't work or they don't like it, then they should return it. Or even ask me, and I will return it for them. I certainly don't want them holding on to something that doesn't work for them just because it was a gift. AND if they want to give it to someone else, that is fine too. Its their gift now.

There is a joke between my FIL and BIL, each year they give the other the same pocket knife. Its been going back and forth between them for about 10 years now.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

Demi, Listen, truly listen, to your daughters. I've worn the shoes they're wearing.


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Ya know those Lexus commercials, where they play that stupid tune as some clever hint and then, voila, there's a $65,000 car with some hideous red ribbon on top?

Well, DW gave me a Lexus like that this year; tune, bow, and all, but the car was like some kinda weird green color and I didn't like it, so I re-gifted it to my cousin.


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We always laugh at those holiday car commercials - who gives someone a CAR out of the blue? They are running those car commercials for weeks - as if it persuades someone to do that!


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Speaking of car commercials. I chuckle every time I watch the one with the guy who looks like Santa. The guy looking at the Silverado pickup and says I'm a hunter...what do you hunt, deer, and then he looks up at the white beard and says, er, fish. So cute.


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The Lexus December To Remember and Acura Season Of Reason commercials just aired on CNBC a few minutes ago.

There's still time to buy that special someone a luxury vehicle before the end of the year.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

It goes without saying that it's up to the gift receiver to decide what to do with a gift they don't like or can't use... but the question was one asking which conclusion might be considered rude, and which might be considered acceptable. And it occurs to me that this is a question only brought to bear through our current materialistic, consumer driven society.

I know it probably wasn't meant in the spirit in which it seems... but the idea that gift giving is a job strikes me as though some people are feeling more obligated to shop and buy gifts because it's the expected thing to do, and less inclined to do so because they want to. It's so very "American" to be disappointed by a received gift, or to expect gifts.

To me, it's that kind of expectation that takes all the fun out of the process. But we do live in such a commercialized, consumer driven society that it's not difficult to see how easily the fun and spirit of gift giving can be deflated, and the entire process turned into a chore of sorts.

We're bombarded by holiday advertisements beginning before Thanksgiving, and only ending after the season is over with sales to rid warehouses and stores of this year's merchandise... and not long afterward, we're again bombarded as a new holiday is brought out and paraded before us in all its glittery glory. It borders on the ridiculous, I think.

In general, it seems as though Christmas shopping is just another tradition added to the list, another conditioned response to a season... we make lists, buy items, wrap items, exchange gifts, exclaim over them... all in an expected dance of seasonal materialism.

The moment it started to feel like a chore, when the magic and joy and the true meaning of it all began slipping away, to be replaced by a never-ending red and green season of plastic tinsel and brand names, I stopped and got off the merry-go-round of seasonal consumer materialism.

I think such magic is for the little ones, and it's to that end that our family keeps Santa and the tradition of gifts alive. For the adults, it's a chance to take advantage of the time that continually slips past, to gather and show how thankful we are for each other... with no expectations of gifts, no materialism, no brand names... just family. And every year, I'm struck at how fortunate I really am to be a part of the family I call my own.

Is it rude to return a gift? Is it rude to regift? From my vantage point, the entire season has become rather rude through our very commercial, consumer driven society. It's all very "American", isn't it?


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

What human culture has not developed rituals to express the value placed on people and special events?

I guess the real problem with human beings, though, is that we've allowed rituals to become mechanical. And gift receiving has become an entitlement for which there is often little real joy and even less gratitude.

I surely do not look at the world through rose colored glasses, but there's something endearing about the days leading up to Christmas. Maybe because I'm largely an observer having given up driving myself crazy years ago. Or maybe because my circle has neither needs nor wants that they can't and don't satisfy on their own any time of the year.

Chrismas Eve day was particularly fun. I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and treated myself to a new warm mist humidifier - 15% humidity is shockingly uncomfortable. Was bemused to see a small gaggle of men looking intently at the big wall display of "Snuggies". Another gaggle at Zales because the ad where Santa promises "she'll love it" resonated somewhere. Probably better received than a new snowblower!

But what some regard as runaway consumerism isn't going to go away by any group campaign that I can even imagine; has to be chipped away at one person, one family at a time... with imperceptible results on the world at large.


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A big wall display of "Snuggies".

****Shudders*****


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The Snuggie (as the ubiquitous someone said but not necessarily on Fox) has become part of the very fabric of our modern society. That's rich!


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Why in the world would one want a Snuggie when one can have the new Onesie?

I can't imagine the humiliation of buying one, much less being given one. It is only small children who would be thrilled by the idea and buy them for their parents/grandparents, I would think.

It's become a Christmas tradition joke around here: my DH cheerfully talks about the wonderful Snuggie (now the wonderful Onesie) he shopped all day to find, and my laughingly murderous look I shoot him.

I've never been able to resolve my thoughts about re-gifting. I think some people made very wise observations that a true gift comes with no strings. But I would really rather not be told that the gift I chose for a person was regifted because of any reason other than they already had one. It's really rather silly of me, but please - just do it and don't tell me.

Of course we all have been given gifts we honestly don't have a use for. I donate mine, I just can't bring myself to rewrap and give it away to someone else as a gift, although I really can't come up with a logical reason why there would be anything wrong with that if I thought the person would really want the object.

I do re-gift christmas baked goods given to me because I don't tend to eat it - but I never give it as an obligated gift, it always goes off to my husband's office where those guys will happily eat ANYTHING, including pizza found in the break room, left over from the day before! ;)


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omg..I received a snuggie the first year they came on the market. And no, I didn't regift it. I haven't a clue where it is, and won't spend any time looking for it. But the person who gave it, thought it to be a wonderful gift. And I received it in kind.


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All this angst over gifts-so American. We have to emote over everything..giving a gift means you are thinking of someone no matter how intimate, automatic or culturally bound and getting a gift means you have been thought of under the same possible range of circumstances-give and get the thought and you too will be freed from any guilt about passing the material object on to someone else who might actually want it or if it is just another stop on the way for that material object at least be the sort of person who will give it to the Humane Society thrift shop or the Goodwill-my two personal favorite charitable stuff donation places-places who seriously appreciate the actuality of the material thing.


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The whole idea behind gifts is giving to someone something you know they'd like, but probably wouldn't buy for themselves. If you don't know someone well enough to buy a gift you know they'd like, then you take your chances. My wife and I go round and round about this. She loves the idea of gift cards, and I hate it. To me, it's impersonal. To me, it says "I don't know enough about you and your interests to find a gift for you, but I have to give you something, so here go buy your OWN gift."

If I were to give someone something and then find out later that they returned or regifted it, that would be on ME, not them. If I'd put more thought into it, that wouldn't happen, and it WON'T happen again.


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Bill-I think that gift cards have their place-the impossibility of chosing the correct gift for any teen-the nuances of teen fad and fashion being what they are, plus you are actually giving the gift of going shopping which for some people is a seriously great gift, else wise I agree, it is a cop out. I dislike that a big chunk of the gift card can go to "fees"


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Some people don't like brutal honesty, and some can't handle it... to be perfectly honest. But it's one of the things we value.

I get the distinct feeling that a lot of folks wouldn't hold up too well within the circle of my family.

Our family is similar. I wanted a pocket camera one Xmas. My kids got me a really nice one but it was larger than what I wanted for my needs. DD on the other hand happened to really like it. So she kept it and gave me the money to pick out my own. Everyone is happy.

On the other hand I had several nice family fur coats and jackets that I would never use. DS mentioned his girlfriend would probably like them. I wrapped them and gave them to her for Xmas although they were not her only gift from us. She loved them. Made her "family".

I choose gifts with the giftee in mind. It might be from a store, eBay or my own closet. it might be brand new or it might be old. But it generally is something i know the receiver will really enjoy. I don't gift strangers. I try to stay away from registries. But my family ha all have Amazon wish lists and we tattle on each other about likes and wishes. LOL


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I agree with Sushipup, and have decided that except for a few children, I'm done with Christmas. It's mostly about our economy getting its "end of year fix" anyway, and honestly how many people need more junk laying around the house? I'll still do Christmas cards, and perhaps a cash gift or gift card here and there, but I'm done going through "the motions". (Besides I don't even like half my family anyway.)

This year my son turned 18 and we blew off Christmas and took a trip to a warm and exotic place instead. :)


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I've done that in the past, too... just completely blown off the holidays and gone on vacation, instead. Back when I could afford it... in another lifetime, it seems... the ex and I took off for 10 days during the Christmas season one year... we packed up the car, grabbed a wad of cash, and headed south to visit some friends in the New Orleans area. We completely avoided the giant commercial rush. We were able to enjoy the city at our leisure, without the huge crowds associated with certain celebrations. It was rather nice.

Maybe someday we'll be in a position to do so again. There are other areas of the world I'd like to visit, and this time I have a more enjoyable traveling partner.

And as for honesty... I couldn't even imagine having to grin and bear a gift I just didn't like, or fret over what to get someone else if I didn't know what they liked or wanted. The grandkids are fun to shop for, because anything pleases them when they're little.

We secretly make it a habit to find at least one loud, obnoxious toy for the grandkids, paybacks being what they are, and all... hey, we did warn our kids that being a grandparent would have some fun perks! ;-)

But seriously... the whole holiday thing has just become so overdone... it's nice not to have to worry about all that decorating, all that shopping, all those gifts and cards, all that money spent, whether or not we're forgetting anyone, whether someone won't like a gift, etc... we avoid it all by only buying gifts for the grandkids. We don't exchange gifts between adults. The whole thing revolves around the little ones in our family... and it's much nicer and more relaxed this way.

Besides... not everyone in our family has the money to spend, and this takes that worry off the table.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I ABHOR obligatory gift giving. I don't celebrate valentine's day for that very reason.

If someone sees something they think I'll like and buys it for me for "no" reason I feel it's more of a true gift.

This year I forced bulbs for gifts. They're beautiful, they last a month, when they're done the vase is cheap so it can be reused or tossed as can the rocks and bulb (if one is not inclined to put it in the garden). Total cost - Around $3.00. Total effort - around 10 minutes to start and then filling the water for a couple of weeks. And everyone wants one.

That, and flavored alcohol. It's either drunk by the recipient or used at parties. Either way, it's useful.

I agree Jodi, the holiday is absurd if done to the extent advertised. Some good food and family, some fun stocking stuffers (dental floss, razor blades, fuzzy socks and chocolate are always welcome), a couple of games and little gifts for the kids and I'm good to go.

I do regift. And everyone knows I don't keep what I don't want, but I do try to match it with someone who WILL want and appreciate it. I also have a gift box for last minute gifts, but as I've taken time to carefully choose things that I think would be used, it's hardly impersonal.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I have a snuggie...and and worst yet...it is zebra print! teehee and my kids have snuggies, too. turning aroune and walking away in shame ;). But, seriously, I love my snuggie like crazy! It is so cuddy and we keep the heat down. Just so ya know we use them like blankies, I am not doing dishes in it or answering the door!

I was tempted by the pajama jeans (on clearance) at BB&Beyond today. lol Mylab, the forever lazy...it has a hatch, too. Also on clearance - should I tell your hubs?
lol

Life is too short to hang onto things you don't need or want. Best to pay it forward if someone else might appreciate it. I will say though I received this as a gift and can't use, etc...I wouln't like make a show that I bought it for someone. I have one such gift I just recieved that will be donated to an auction/fundraiser this weekend.


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RE: Is it rude to return a gift just because you

I've only re-gifted once, if memories serves correctly. However, I see nothing wrong with re-gifting IF you are giving the item to someone whom you think will truly appreciate it.

Besides, re-gifting is actually a very "green" thing to do.

Actually, now that I think about it, I've re-gifted a couple of other things into "white elephant" gifts, but does that count? :)


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