The people you describe can be fund in any group. Most are unsure of themselves and so cling to each other. There are others who would welcome your advances, also in every group, but you will probably have to make the first move. I hope you will risk being rebuffed, and make the move. Al

Al, thx for responding, I go out of my way to befriend these ppl, they truly act as though they're afraid that my skin color will rub off on them, so I don't bother anymore, they're not worth my precious time.

Some associations are like that. You don't even have to be differently coloured, either. Just from a different neighbourhood. Or with a different accent. Getting a cold shoulder when you're keen and busting to know can sting quite a bit. Been there.

Can you persuade a few friends to take the classes and form your own group? It works better, somehow, to be part of a group that visits and exchanges, and helps with the big chores, particularly for older members, or folk less able. Or shares a glasshouse. Or runs a plant table to raise funds. Or swaps seeds and slips both between yourselves and further afield.

Have a look at what the folk on the Rocky Mountain Forum get up to - and they're spread far, high and wide there! Swap meets and commiserations and sharing what works. Everyone from crusty old gardeners, to shocked newbies, stunned by the four-seasons weather in one day that they have in those parts.

And the member over on the UK forum who runs an annual seed swap...

A few of the forums can be a little unwelcoming, I agree - yet - there are always alternatives where the folk are friendlier. Bad manners, fortunately, aren't universal. :-))

I've been a Master Gardener for 15 years and I have found the best way to get friendly with people is to work with them. I still volunteer for workshops, farmer's mkt, worm composting and help desk. You work with people from other classes and suddenly you are friends. At first classes cling together and then there are social groups but suggest that at a luncheon that everyone mingle or seat at different tables. It works well here.

Penny

I agree with napapen. Get involved as much as you can. Do great work and people will visit with you and respect you for it. Talk with your board and ask them to encourage five minute ice breaker activities at the beginning of your meetings. Run for the board and make the changes your self.