I would be glad to help you with ideas.
Send me an email and we can talk . ( gardnwatch@aol.com)
Things are probably not near as bad as you think they are.
I might even have some plants I can give to you for that cottage look you want.
I'm in the Baltimore County area
Also, a bunch of us Mid-Atlantic gardeners hold a plant swap twice a year, and there is one coming up in a few months that you might like to come to for ideas and advice from alot of knowledgable gardeners in this general area.
Look in the Mid Adlantic gardening forum and read about the swaps we have. You don't even have to swap.. we give them away.

Bonnie

Do you have pictures? You might be being too hard on yourself. You can get a good grounding in basics by buying your own copy of The Well-Tended Perennial Garden by Tracy Desabato-Aust. Figure out the light and soil conditions in your garden and then work the design with what you have. Your hostas are crispy because your gardens are dry and/or there's too much sun where they are. Brugs are best as pot plants. Echinacea and Monardia will take over your beds if your'e not careful, but they are easy and love sun.

Soil & light first. Design second, care and maintenance ongoing.

No Cynthia, I'm really being honest. I've read and poured over lots of books (not the one you mentioned though) and although I do know the theory it's difficult for me to implement it when I'm out there with a spade in hand.
Your garden is just beautiful! It is EXACTLY the look I would love, but I believe it just looks casual and in fact is put together very carefully. (Read that in one of those books!) It must be a joy to live with a garden like that! I will try to post some pics. when I find out how. Thanks for the input.

Look around when you're driving around and see what works for others (e.g., neighbors, commercial, etc.) You could also try going to some of the nearby gardens (National Arboretum (sp?), Brookeside, etc.). Lastly, most catalogs have predesigned gardens. You don't have to buy from them, but you would have a design ready to go.

Jen

sandra christie - I share your pain.

graywing
I'm not a total dud gardener, and I can actually grow stuff that other people find difficult (not clematis or forget-me-nots though!) I love starting things from seed. It's the arrangement of plants together in a pleasing fashion that is so frustrating.
I may try the suggestion above from avoirgold to follow a predesigned scheme, but when I look at gardens like Cynthia's I couldn't even begin to break down the different elements that were woven together to create the overall composition.

Cynthia, did you make those beds from scratch?

If you like growing from seed, you should take a look at the winter sowing forum.