Wow Bird Wing- that is alot of different sympoms on alot of plants!
The spittle bugs are kinda gross- but I havn't had perminant damage done by them- So I kinda just let them be- I don't know what would be good for them-
And holly hocks- well- the only ones I have ever had that didn't attract pests were in full brutal sun- too much for the pests to deal with I think- otherwise any grown in part shade have had the most varried bugs and blights attracted to them- I have almost given up on growing them as I do not like all the chemicals I would need to use on them to keep them healthy- but I will try again this year- in full brutal sun!
Phlox also succumb to mildew- which can cause the tips to bend and shrivle- but usually you can see the powdery black mildew on the leaves before the tips are damaged- my phlox wilt when they get transplant shock- or if they get too dry while the initial growth spurt is still going on- maybe they need more water- or amended soil- or mulch- but be sure to water in the am so they are dry when it cools down for the evening- also be sure there is good air flow around these guys- as with monarda and roses-
I think the mites are maybe aphids- some folks say a hard spray of water will knock them off- or a good covering of dishwashing suds will kill em- or a pyrethrum spray of even more chemcals are what I know of that may help this problem-
Be very careful with the fungus problem. It will spread! Do not allow diseased plant material to return to the soil in the garden or the compost bin- throw it in your trash bin- .do not use the affected plant as mulch- swipe any tools you may use on or near that plant with rubbing alchohol before using on another plant. I dimly seem to remember not to try to replant the same plant in the same area as the fungus spore will lay in the soil and can continue to damage the new plant- I am sure others know more than I on this- but I have had problems in the past with this myself.
There is definatly a learning curve to gardening- and sometimes- what I end up learning is that I won't even try to grow that ever again- like the hollyhocks - If they won't grow by my "rules"- few or no chemicals- and otherwise almost total neglect- I can't baby them along- I have too much on my plate to spend coddeling all the plants in each bed-
I stll have many wonderful plants to enjoy- but not the ones that cause worry stress and heart ache- I can appreciate the plants I cannot/will not grow in others gardens- and be happy for them-
I do hope your garden woes become victories soon-
Julie

Thank you for all the great advice julie, I do think alot of it might be the heat we just had. i did do some reading about spittle bugs and it does seem as though they don't do much but sit there and look gross. I've had this delphinium problem before but they're my favorite so I just don't want to give up growing them.

I do think that my gardens are getting pretty crowded (third year leap!) and i think some things have got to be divided or even just taken out. I took out some may night salvia and it already seems airier.

thanks again i'll just try and keep on it.