Pesky, Very sorry for your loss. I hope you and your DH can get through the coming days without much more damage to either of you. On the subject of your vertebral fractures, please do some research on your own so you can be a little knowledgeable when you next talk to your doctor. I fractured one a year ago in the middle of my thoracic area. The X-ray report said it was a compression fracture. I'm positive the doctor didn't look at the X-ray, just read the report. I looked up that type of fracture and most look like cracks on the front side of the vertebrae. I was told to rest, take medication, and that it would take about 8 weeks to heal. 9 weeks later I was still in a lot of pain, in fact, it had gotten worse. I had an MRI and was sent to a specialist. It wasn't just cracks, a big chunk out of the middle of the vertebrae had broken loose and collapsed into the spinal cord area. The additional pain was the herniated disk that was caused later by the fracture. This was a type of fracture that would not heal without help. I ended up having an outpatient operation called a kyphoplasty where they inflate a small balloon to reposition the bone fragment, then inject bone cement to hold it in place. I could tell the difference within 2 days and felt much better within a week. We're waiting to see if the disk will need surgery or not after the inflammation has a chance to subside. This may not be your situation, but I wish I had pressed to have the specialist's opinion early on. It would have saved me 6 months of pain, and possibly prevented the disk problem from occurring. You really need to be your own advocate with the doctors, and if you aren't getting the answers you need, find someone else. I couldn't take the vicodin, so they prescribed something else for me. If you're unhappy with it, ask for a different medication. Some people get rigid braces to help keep the vertebrae immobilized as much as possible so it can heal. The first specialist I saw was surprised that the doctor had not recommended one. It may or may not be appropriate for you, but doesn't hurt to ask. The large (11 x 14) gel packs were a lifesaver. Much more comfortable and convenient than ice packs. I've seen them on sale at Amazon and other places on line. Sitting for any length of time was hard for me. I was most comfortable in our small recliner, not totally reclined, but enough to take the pressure off. You might see if that helps. Please take care of yourself and do what you need to make sure you are getting the proper medical advice for your specific situation. I will be sending you positive and healing thoughts.

Today we got a money order. It was dated 1/9/09 so she bought it AFTER she said she fed ex'd it to her mom. Whatever! It was for the full amount of the past due medical bills, minus the $5 because she said she found an error. It was $363.92... but she still hasn't paid for November & December's bills. I'm not complaining, just noting the irony that she'll subtract $5 but still owes nearly $100 on the medical, $1,000 to the attorney and $1,800 in support (DH was adding them all together when he said $3,000) Consequences? They don't want to put parents in jail. I guess as a last resort, they will. The papers she was served with say right on it that she can be put in jail or pay a fine. That is probably why she paid. She still owes $1,000 to the attorney. I guess now she is supposedly working. She had gotten a job for a major package delivery company over the holidays and was trying to keep it secret. She apparently is still working there, IF she isn't lying. Who knows? When DH told her he lost his insurance, she said she would see about putting SD on her insurance but right now she's on COBRA until she's hired full time. It didn't sound right to me so I don't know if I believe ANYTHING the woman says. Of course, I didn't believe she would pay but she did. We'll see what she has to say about the attorney's fees. Oh, her wedding that she asked me to bake a cake for???? She told SD that she won't be able to get married this year after all because she has no money, she has to pay child support. (yeah.. again, it's our fault!) She doesn't mention to SD that she's still married to her big sister's daddy. I had a heart to heart with SD tonight and told her that I don't know what she's being told but I have NOTHING to do with the court case. (her mom told her she was served with papers from me and DH) I told her that we didn't 'steal' her from her mom, her mom decided to move away and 'gave' her to us. (her mom keeps telling her we took her away from her mom and won't give her back) I told her that we are not trying to keep her from her mom, in fact... DH is having to 'force' BM to pick her up herself, that her mom wants grandma to come get her but we know SD wants her mom to so that is why DH is making her. (BM was telling SD that we are trying to keep her from going over there) and I told her that if her mom calls, I answer the phone and give it to her ALWAYS. (her mom has been telling her that she calls but we won't answer the phone because we are trying to keep SD from her) I also told her that her mom is her mom and nothing is ever going to change that. I told her that I'm sorry she has been hurt and that it hurts me to see her suffer and that it hurts me even more when she treats me badly, like it's my fault for what her mom is doing. She was crying and looked over to me and broke down even more, telling me how sorry she is for being mean to me all the time. I told her that I understand why she does it but that it's not okay to treat someone bad and expect them to be nice to her. I told her how I raised my kids to treat others the way you want to be treated and when she treats me bad, then that's how I think she wants me to treat her. I told her I don't want to treat her like that, I want her to be happy here, that all we want is for her to be healthy, happy and be the best her she can be. She came over and we hugged, I told her I love her and she said sorry again. I have to admit, it was emotionally draining for me because we've had talks like this before.. never this emotional, but she always reverts back to treating me like crap when she comes back from her mom. (I do have issues with trusting her after we've been through this so many times & I do get hurt when she goes back to treating me badly) I didn't bad mouth her mom at all, but I did tell her what the truth is and I told her that I won't lie to her, if she wants the truth... she can ask me and even if she might not like the answer, I won't lie. I'm pretty sure she already knows the truth about her mom... after all, she knows her mom WAY better than I ever will.

My SM #3 is this way PO1. She has a good heart but it annoys me to no end. She publically takes all the credit for us skids and our achievements but married my dad after I was an adult and all but 2 of our children were already born. She has just met my brother and his wife and their kids this past year for the very first time... She's been married to my dad for almost 10 yrs and has never met my brothers fam or even talked on the phone. Mostly because my brother was estranged from our father.... Anyway-- on Facebook she writes to my niece and brother and SIL, I am so proud of you, I love you and miss you!! And then she has some crap about 'interests' watching my children and grandchildren grow. I hope to have great grandchildren one day. She has one adult son that is estranged from her bc he is a jerk and he has no children. So the grandchildren would be our children. I personally haven't seen her in quite a while none of us have but she acts like she saw us yesterday. She was signing her cards to us 'momma(insert name)' and we are all adults. My sister finally said, please stop. We don't mind the kids picking a nickname for you like Nana or grams but we aren't calling you Momma. We have a momma and we don't know you that well. People always write on her fb 'hope your kids and granbabies are well. And I just wonder if they are confused.

Sorry Caroline I am sitting here laughing my fool head off. Of course I am also glad it happened to you and not to me. If anyone could pull this off it is you. Your bathroom woes brings back memories of my own remodeling problems with my so called contractor. Just think in a few weeks (if your lucky) you will have a beautiful bathroom to relax in. Just be careful climbing into that tub in the meantime. lol