Game bird, Your list of 'requirements' is pretty exacting and there are not many vines that will perform that way on such a narrow trellis. Most vines I've grown have branched out just fine, although as Moni mentioned, sometimes you have to take some time early on to direct the plant's growth horizontally through the trellis, arbor or fence if it is growing strongly upright. Sometimes I spend a little time 'weaving' a young vine horizontally early in the season, but even when I don't, they eventually grow laterally on their own even if their original growth was mostly upward. Most vines climb as high as they can and then when they reach the top of their support, they go sideways, or droop and hang back down. Some will climb onto the roof if you don't prune them at the top. After all, they are programmed to grow upward and don't have a self-limiting gene that makes them grow X number of feet and then just stop growing. Asarina (vining snapdragon) is a slower grower but might not be vigorous enough to outcompete the mint or to give you the shade you're seeking. Black-eyed Susan Vine is a very lovely annual vine. I grow it on my garden fence and it seems to spread upward and sideways both, although sometimes I do take a few moments to weave it sideways to spread horizontally because it reseeds every year and doesn't always reseed evenly and I don't like big gaps in the wall of green. Both Cypress Vine and Cardinal Climber have a lighter, airy foliage. They'll climb as high as the nearest support but don't get terribly heavy due to their airy foliage. They'd only give you light to moderate shade though, not heavy shade. American Cross Vine might be a good contender. I have it in very poor clay soil and it climbs a 7' arbor and pretty much stays there. It gets only rainfall (as little as 18" or 20" in a drought year) and no irrigation, though, so that and the concrete-hard unimproved soil where it grows might be limiting its size here. It is semi-evergreen and hummingbirds love it. It is tougher than it sounds, though because it grows on an arbor with the yellow-flowered 'Flava' trumpet creeper vine, and the trumpet creeper vine does not outcompete it. Mina lobata is an annual vine with gorgeous flowers but is very vigorous. Mine climbed its trellis and then started climbing the wall of the house. If you grew it, you probably could prune it back weekly after it reached the top of the trellis, but it certainly wouldn't stop trying to climb higher. If those were my trellises, I'd likely plant moonflower vine because of the sheer beauty of the vine's leaves and flowers. It doesn't start blooming until mid-summer, but once it is blooming, we make it a point to be out in the yard when the lovely white flowers begin opening up in the evening. They all open up quickly and at about the same time and it is spectacular. I think it spreads out a little more horizontally on its own than its relative, the morning glory. It also has a lovely fragrance from the time it blooms in the evening until the next morning when the flowers close up. Other than cross vine, I don't know of any perennial vine that will remain the size you want without pruning and they likely will need some training to get them to spread outward and not so much upward. Some of the annual tropical vines like allamanda or mandeville would be lovely, but you'd have to plant new ones every year or dig them up and overwinter them in pots indoors. Dawn

Although my husband is now in a nursing home there are various pads that you can purchase to place under him. Although Walmart seems to have discontinued them pads for children's bedwetting or even mattress pads worked for a short while with my husband. They can be washed and since they have a plastic middle layer last a couple of months. Another product I have used is https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FED594/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1  One thing that you could mention to him is that without wearing something to absorb the urine his wet clothing will cause him to have a very itchy red rash. Is he at the point that you must assist him with bathing? If he is watch the area leading up the crack between the butt cheeks for redness. This is one of the problems that can send people to nursing homes which is another thing that you should mention in passing.

LOL DLD! I used one of those old stove without an electronic ignition at a day camp I ran once. To light the oven you had to light a newspaper roll and hold it in the back of the oven where the pilot was. I can't believe we were using that with kids around, (it was always a fun adventure using that stove). One day while making cookies with her group of campers, a counselor had all the hair burned off her arm. The newspaper roll went up in flames which she dropped on the cement floor of the camp field office and she was stamping up and down to put it out with kids jumping up and down next to her screaming. I happend to be on the phone with the camp secretary at the time and I said, "Sorry I can't hear you too well there's a fire in the field office," to which she replied, "the field office is on fire?" at which point I could hear the director in the next office yelling "WHAT!" He was down at the day camp in a New York minute and I had an electric stove the next day!!

These small company guys are not computer tech guys, they're on the job guys. Hands-on guys. Guys who define themselves as being the company. They assume you are hiring them for their expertise and don't like interference. Fewer of them have an Office Girl to answer the phone these days. The cell phone has changed the way they work, but not necessarily for the better. They are multitaskers who don't physically visit the computer very often. They're in the truck running from one place to the other and you're on their to-do list, along with the gas station and the school conferences and the donut shop and all the other construction jobs that are currently underway. Welcome to the 21st century. Took me 6 months to realize this. I actually believed that the company phone number and the standard modes of communication were the appropriate ones. Even the company website contact list is wrongo with my cabinetmaker. He has an office phone, a company phone, phones for the other two permanent employees in the office, and his cell phone. It's the latter that is the only one which works for me, but even that is problematical. If DH phones him, the topic is more likely to be addressed than if I launch the topic. This is a reality and I cannot change it, have to accept it or I will just make myself miserable. "Oh, yea, you did email me. What was it about again?" is a typical response. Making a formal appointment to talk in person or on phone is helpful, but be sure that you have an itemized list and it's a conversation that has a beginning and an end with a definable middle. Should have followed this advice myself. I was dumbfounded that I had to ask for a bill in print. Am still awaiting it. The emailed bill is a comic piece, but it's his best effort at putting words into print. So it goes.