Anyone know of a good marriage councelor in Pittsburgh?

15 years ago

I hate to use this forum in this way, but everyone here has been such a wonderful resource for garden wisdom that I feel like I can turn here for help with my marriage. After all gardening is a very appropriate metaphor for marriage as it takes constant, caring, and hard work to watch it grow. You see, the situation is that I had discovered about a month ago that my husband was having an "emotional affair" with a woman from work. We have been trying to save our marriage and have even started to go to counceling, but we don't think we are getting anything from the person whom we have been seeing. We've just talked about our families - with absolutely no help with dealing with our current situation or our actual marriage thus far. Of course, we are both new to this and don't know what to expect, but I was hoping for a little more than a family tree. Needless to say, this experience has been traumatic. We are both dealing with this as best as we can, but we want to save our marriage if possible. Every site that I have found seems to talk about councelors who are involved in a church, but my husband is not Christian. This is hard enough, but to have difficulty finding a qualified person to help us is adding to the problems we are experiencing.

I just beg any responders to not criticize me for trying to save my marriage. Some of my "friends," don't approve of my choice and would rather I dump him and move on. This is a source of additional pain. The 12 years I have known my husband and the 6 years we've been married are too much for me to just throw away without pausing and reflecting what is best for me. This all is out of character for the person I know, or though I knew, and well, quiet frankly I really don't want to divorce unless there are no alternatives to my well-being. I am aware of how common infidelity is and I don't know if any of you have experienced a similar situation, but any advice is more than welcome. Thank you for your help.

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Comments (7)

rjhouse27
Original Author
15 years ago
Whoops - I mis-spelled counselor.
Lcgrace Mahoney
15 years ago
Sent you an email!
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Lcgrace Mahoney
15 years ago
I can't offer any referral, I'm so sorry.

You're looking for help in finding out what's best for you and your relationship, and that's a very good thing!

I wish you all the best in your search for contentment, understanding and happiness once again. Hopefully someone will pop on here and be able to offer advice.

There are quite a few counselors and therapists out there to be able to speak with. The first few visits will prob be about backgrounds, family tree and how happy the 2 of you were growing up. It may seem like no help at all but this "stranger" needs to be familiar with who you are.

I went to a therapist twice to help me deal with anxiety issues. Basically, I wasn't sleeping well and needed a time out for myself. I was overworked. There were a few things that I took away from my visit....she asked if I had a happy childhood. Were my parents happy. I could remember that my father worked swing shift and did alot of side jobs. We went to church a few times per week. We went on family vacations. BUT Were we happy as a family? I really don't think I've ever known what happy is until I started gardening. I am truly happy in the garden.....and would have never questioned it if I never went to that therapist.

Sorry for rambling on and being personal but please try to be patient while a counselor is trying to get to know you. Be honest with them and let them know that you're feeling a sense of urgency to get to heart of the matter.

Hugs, LC Grace
gigisgarden
15 years ago
I know of a good one in Butler if that is not too far. Actually they are a husband/wife team which is nice because neither one can say the counselor only sees things from a woman's or man's point of view...if you know what I mean. If you are interested, I will get the phone number for you. My husband and I went to them several years ago and found them helpful.
rjhouse27
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you so much for all of your kind words! I am optimistic. I know exactly how you feel in the garden. I hope to have that same feeling in my marriage! Butler is a little closer to me, so I would like that number please. Unfortunately, I was not able to get the email. I created a new email address - jendoggyhouse@gmail.com that might work. Thank you again! I so appreciate all of your support!
gigisgarden
15 years ago
Sent an email to the address you posted.
ambleside
14 years ago
Seems I am 2 years late in reading about your post. If you still need help you can e-mail me at: scamblex3@yahoo.com
We have some information that may help you. There a lot of good tools we can share with you that may help you. Hope this finds you well...