Breath deeply for they are our future.....
Sounds like you have lots of customers.

So, South Africa is no different from the rest of the world after all.
Is there any chance that you can post some pictures of those beautifully extravagant plants, before the kids have got to them of course!

Oh just give them a big pot of nightshade to chew on.

Now, now Mich!

When I see a child being rude or doing something they should not I take the time to correct them......though some parents do not appreciate this....other parents do.

I love kids enough I fostered six of them in addition to my own, but.......

I found two of them trying to push a broom handle through a seven hundred dollar ventilation fan when their parents weren't ten feet away, not watching them. Thank God for grids.

They've picked off the blossoms, loaded up plants with pea gravel, walked to my private pond (parents told them to go amuse themselves) and proceded to pelt frogs and my twenty dollar exotic fish with rocks, tried to break into my pig sty when their father was told it was private property.

No, the "kids" aren't the problem. It's the mature sensible adults who accompany them.

You need a sign that reads......No leash on the children, no service!!!!! That would piss off the conservatives and the irresponsible parents.Lol, retail, you gotta love it.. If not, be a grower.

My Favorte was the mom who let her 2 year old daughter climb onto our bedding rack and sit thier while she shopped out of eyesight. UMMMM NO. I took the girl down myself and handed her to the MOM who said "Oh I never worry about her she just likes to climb." Yikes! I too will correct the children who throw rocks, stay in the parking lot, ride the carts, play in the fountains, Sword fight with the rakes inthe store. 99 % of the the parents pick up on it... the rest well you know the rest.

"My pet hate, children who cannot behave in the nursery"

I don't limit that sentiment just to the nursery. I can't stand ones who just cannot behave period. Actually Calliope had it right... I always feel a bigger urge to smack the parents than the kids. We used to have a gift shop and even in there they let them roam free. I am amazed when I talk to some of these young parents today and hear they are afraid to discipline their kids in public because other people jump on them when they do. That is a sad state of affairs...they are afraid of being arrested for child abuse!

I drew up the plans the other day for the layout of my small start-up nursery...it included a play area for the children (because my grandchildren will enjoy it also). Now... I have to think about what to do about the adults who carelessly amd thoughtlessly destroy your plants. :) (I always observe other customers when I am shopping).

I agree with Bruce. I would correct the children. If the parents are offended...then...oh well... it will probably be more profitable if they are and don't return. :)

Daisy,
I think you had a brilliant idea when you included a small play yard alcove for visiting children to your nursery.
It says to the public that you invite parents and children into your establishment but there is a special place for these special little beings.

This 'kids room' also provides you with proper artillery if and when a child and parent are demostrating rude or destructive behavior.
You can tell them to go to ' The Happy Place' or leave your establishment... in tact.

I had a family in once with a grannie, two young adults and a toddler. The toddler was fussing, so grannie told the mom to just put the baby down and let it run. I spoke up and said kids weren't allowed in the nursery, unless they were physically attached to an adult. I even put up signage one year specifying it. Tell you what they do then........they park the poor tykes outside and go shop and leave them unattended. Note Bene........it is your property and you are liable for injuries! I'm afraid saying the parents weren't watching them adequately isn't gonna cut it.

I have even seen young mothers bring newborns into g'houses in summer when the thermometer hanging on the walls said 105 degrees. On these occasions I addressed the young women and told them the environment was not fit for a baby to be in.

Once when I worked at a garden center, we caught kids drinking the blue died water out of the display fountains. Yuck.

The bottom line is just what Agastache man says. I shut it off for retail.

Yikes! Glad I don't own a nursery. :P

I have heard horror stories, though, at my work. I work in a bakery, but not at the front serving customers. I work in the kitchen area. But it's a haven compared to what some of my co-workers deal with.

We used to sell gourmet coffee (beans) in a large display shelf. The shelves themselves were divvied up into compartments, and in each was a contraption which allowed for the easy dispensing of the beans with the simply turn of a large, bright... shiny... metal... handle.

As you probably have guessed, more than one awe-stricken toddler has given in to the urge to grab and twist the glorious thing which attracts their attention. As the $12/pound coffee spills out onto the floor, the toddler is struck in awe and remains motionless. It's usually only when the parent (who was usually looking at the cakes and/or pastries) notices, that the horrible carnage of precious imported coffee stops.

And that's not even talking about the kid who licked our display cases...

-Audric

LOL. Gottcha beat for grossness with another anecdote. Our family eats out very rarely, but one night we went to one of those self-serve restaurants with the steam tables. The signs remind customers to please take a clean plate when coming in for seconds, but there stands this almost adolescent boy starting to pile spaghetti onto his dirty plate. He eyes the pizza behind it. He changes his mind. Then he takes his germ-laden fork and scrapes the spaghetti back into the serving dish in the steam table.

That about did it for me.

No matter what story gets told, I can beat it. I can say this because I spent 18 years working at a zoo. You would not believe the crazy things parents, teachers, grandparents, teenagers, toddlers, stoned druggies, young lovers will do in a park filled with caged animals. Luckily whenever I now encounter someone doing something stupid with a child (their child!) all I have to do is recite one of my zoo classics with all the gory details, ending up with a "I wouldn't let them do THAT if I were you".

PS - the worst accident I have ever witnessed wasn't even at work. It was at a bowling alley and involved a distracted young mother and her friends, and ignored toddler and the ball return machine.

As the season progresses each year, Wholesale sounds better & better! Luckily by Spring my memory fades.

When we used to put fine bark between the benches, I had a 30's something 'new boyfriend' trying to impress his ladies young son, about 7-8 years old. The 'adult' actually got down and did a snow angel in the bark, cajoling the boy to join him. The boy clearly not thrilled with this guy anyway, refused. Now I know it came literally came back around to bite him on the behind! He was complaining of slivers before they left. I had to really try hard not to smile too big as they left. Patricia

Ah Parenthood:)

My boys are now 14 and 12. They knew from the beginnign of their fragile lives the old Bill Cosby adage..."I brought you into this world, I....well I'm sure you remember the rest.

But if anything, it irks my oldest to see "lil" rugrats act out of common courtesy. I have seen him come down on his lil cousins at public places if they became young hooligans.

Reminds me of a story my neighbor once told me. This gentleman is quite open about his opinions b....but truly would not hurt a fly. One day he was at the local grocery store and was in the checlout. A young mothere aheead of him was quite rattle trying to find her money to pay her bill, while hert young one in the cart was being loud and screaming all over the place. This lady was truly discombobulated digging in her purse while junior is being a holy terror. (And during this whole affair she is not even telling Junior to please behave) MY neighbor related that he bent down and whisper3ed something to the young one....and the child went stock quiet. The mother had not witnessed the exchange but was quite pleased to see her child behaving abd proceeded to leave the store much more happy. Meanwhile as the cart is being wheeld out the lil tyke is staring at my neighbor wide eyed and mouth dropped the whole time. I asked him what he had said to the young one. He simply stated to the child if he did not be quiet his lips would be ripped off. Yes some of you may read this and think "how ghastly" to do that toan impressionable young child....oh the shame of scarring a child. My first thoughts were even "rather extreme"? But my first reaction was to laugh my head off.

Did this convert the child? rather doubtful...but the point was made.

My 5 cents worth
NEil

Thanks, mich... believe me, I will probably put more thought into the design (and safety) of the play yard than I do in the whole nursery! :) Don't everyone get me wrong... I love kids... "good" ones. Love watching their faces and wishing I could see what is going on in their heads. (I can't stand what some people have done to their kids with the "sparing the rod" concept). Kids get bored while you're shopping and sometimes they don't mean to get into trouble...boredom leads to some creative ideas for self-entertainment. ;) So, to allow mommy more time to shop, give the kids their own area. It even could include something creative or educational for them to do... maybe even something relating to the nursery. Gotta work out some ideas.

This post has ended up being really funny! I'm still laughing at the picture of the coffee beans and the shiny knobs! :) TriangleJohn, it isn't only with caged animals! We are in the far north... in "moose country". We stopped to see a group of moose mommies and babies in a marsh beside the road (keeping our distance). A car from out-of-state pulled up with Mommy, Daddy & kids under 6 yrs. Mommy started taking pictures and then told the little kids to climb down and stand beside the moose! My hubby quickly went over and told her that a group of 1200-1600 lb. mother moose protecting their babies was NOT a good place to send your toddlers! Unbelieveable!!

Calliope...although John could probably top us...I have you beat for grossness. I worked in the ladies department of a store years ago. An upset customer complained about someone hiding under a rack of clothes. I calmed her and called security to investigate. It was a round rack of ladies silky nightgowns and to security's surprise they found a young teen boy under it...with his pants down... and... well you can imagine what he was doing. Needless to say we had to dispose of the rack of gowns... and the courts got him some professional help. :)

I believe these out-of-control children are a result of people worrying about what they do to "an impressionable young child". I was strict and felt I spent all my time yelling at my kids. Recently I mentioned this to my daughter (who is now a mother) and told her I was sorry I had yelled so much. I was amazed when she said, "Mum, we don't remember anything like that! All our cousins just told us they always wished you were their mom! Why do you think they spent all their time at our house?!" That made my day.

Took my young kids (3 and 6) to a museum at a house in town once. It was full of antiques, doll houses, and even a dress of Dolly Madison's. As we were leaving a very very old curator hurried after us and stopped us at the door. My heart sunk...thinking 'oh my god, what did they do??' You can't believe my surprise when he said "We just wanted to thank you for having such well-behaved children and to tell them they are welcome anytime!" And I had thought they were not behaving!

So... I guess the point is, in regards to this post... not only should we police customers and their unruly children... we should also take a minute to thank the ones who are well-behaved... maybe even give them a little plant of their own. You wanna talk about winning a customer for life!? Beats expensive advertising. :)

Another note... why should any of us who want a retail nursery have to go wholesale just because some customers can't control their children??

I love a "My story tops your story" posts but if you want stories to top them all you should talk to a fireman.
Anyway, I once cut through two wooden banister rails to release a childs head trapped there. It, the head, went in but would not come out. The width of the head was three times the gap between the rails. A phenomenon with a Freudian explanation I am sure.

I actually like kids (well behaved ones). Either a play area or maybe a sign 'PARENTS WILL BE SMACKED IF KIDS MISBEHAVE' , looks like the route to go.

I have a small garden railroad set up in the nursery - a pretty good deal for me, let's me actually play sometimes at work! When i put it together, I gave some thought to the potential problems with kids, even to the extent of lining it with barberry...

I have had nothing but fun with this attraction, we get school groups, daycare, scouts, etc., family outings, all coming to the garden center to see the trains. Personally very rewarding, not bad for business, and the kids are gems. Sure they want to poke and touch, but have all been very well behaved. in 6 years, only one child has actually run wild - while his parent simply watched!

If i had started this post, it would have been titled "Stupid Adults!!!!!" Retail is wearing me down a little (grin!)

Brian

Garrickza, we all feel the same. We like the well behaved ones. And we don't really dislike the others...most of them are just very unfortunate in the parents they got. :)

INKognito, that is amazing. Also, I am sure you could top us every time on phenomenal and especially "grossness" stories! I could never handle your job. Takes a special person for that.

Brian, what a great idea! I wanna come play at your nursery too! Until your post I had forgotten that my uncle is leaving his garden trains to me. It may be all engines (about 6 of them). My uncle had a thing for the engines and I don't think he ever bought the cars! :) But one thing I love to do is design and build the buildings and scenes. Gee...my hubby has HO and I have N-scale... then I will have the large garden ones too!

Come to think of it... all those trains would have paid for my nursery! Hmmm... maybe I should sell my doll collection... :)

This posting reminds me of this picture. I'm not sure why, I guess it's the title.

The entire video can be seen here. They're from a website called Homestar Runner, which has some funny animations in it.

-Audric

Audric,
That was just too damn funny !

I want to hire this guy to do my website.

... just a thought : instead of the website announcing that it is 'Loading', it could say ; 'Getting Loaded' .

.. now I want an icecream with jimmies.

im still laughing about the kid worrying about his lips ripped off!

Sue
"The one thing all gardeners share in common is a belief in tomorrow"

Audric,
Another Teen Girl Squad fan! I have the t-shirt, too.

INK wrote:
I once cut through two wooden banister rails to release a childs head trapped there. It, the head, went in but would not come out. The width of the head was three times the gap between the rails. A phenomenon with a Freudian explanation I am sure.

Didn't you bring that up when Mich was posting about her wrought-iron fence design, a year or two ago?

First a caveat, yes...many parents do a terrible job with discipline and in general watching of small children. I do not mean to defend these clueless folks....but really!

If you run a business other than an adult bookstore you have to realize that people in general go shopping with their children present. So I read about:

You place 50 varieties of coffee before a harried parent that he must concentrate on to select his choice.

You place bright shiny knobs at eye level to attract your customer's two year old child's attention.

Who here thinks a two year old, even a well disciplined one, will resist those knobs without constant (second by second) monitoring?

Who here has perused 50 varieties of coffee comparing decriptions and prices while watching a two year old every second?

"No problem" you say. "Just put the kid in a shopping cart". Right. And then when the child screams to be let down again another helpful poster on this forum will whisper threats in the child's ear.

I know, you all have seen egregious examples. I still suggest a little tolerance for the accidents that can happen when a two year old gets out of sight for 10 seconds.

I also suggest you refrain from making any death threats or suggestions of bodily harm to a customer's child in an attempt to help the customer with discipline. If you get caught, a loss of business may be the best possible outcome.

""No problem" you say. "Just put the kid in a shopping cart". Right. And then when the child screams to be let down again another helpful poster on this forum will whisper threats in the child's ear.

I know, you all have seen egregious examples. I still suggest a little tolerance for the accidents that can happen when a two year old gets out of sight for 10 seconds.

I also suggest you refrain from making any death threats or suggestions of bodily harm to a customer's child in an attempt to help the customer with discipline. If you get caught, a loss of business may be the best possible outcome."
Ah Just Trees...let me remind you this was my neighbors story....not this posters illusion to altering the young lads facial appearance. It is not my style to physically harm a young tyke.....no matter what they are involved in.
It was however my practice....and never needed ...to swat my boy's bottoms if they publicly displayed rudeness, destructive tendencies or out and out bad behavior.

Im sure your attention to the detail you described in dealing with unnecessary behavior...but as a father it comes down to one basic fact. It is the parents responsibility to monitor and correct the childs actions in nurseries, stores and other places that people occupy.
I too think tolerance must be demonstrated for the child, but certain tendencies that arent dealt with early....can grow into bigger issues.

I was in a box store today, and a lady with a child who was perhaps eight or ten was reluctantly tagging behind her as she headed toward the checkout lane. He was not raising his voice, nor did he look like any victim of social neglect or abuse. She was a pleasant looking woman, young enough to be his mother but definately a matron. What he was saying, slowly and in a normal tone of voice (and that is what gave me goosebumps, he seemed so sincere) started out with I am going to kill you. She ignored him. Then he says I'm not going to go with you. She kept moving through the line, eyes forward. Then he added, I'm going to pee on you. It kept going on and she kept her composure and ignored him. It must have worked, as he diligently followed her through the line and out the other end, but the sincerity and depth of the threats coming from his mouth were chilling. I honestly don't know how I would have handled that barrage, but suspect it would involve dropping his pants and warming his butt. She appeared to have the upper hand, although a score of people had to listen to the verbal abuse. I still don't know what to think of it or how I'd have handled it, but I won't forget it for a long time.

Calliope,

The words, tone and scenerio you describe are frequently used by kids with attachemnt disorder. The reaction or more corectly non reaction by the Mom is the best way to handle the child who is looking for a reaction.

Describing it as chilling is exactally the way it feels.

If I had witnessed the scene I would have given the Mom a hug and 'you're an awesome MOM'

Been there, Debinca.

I wondered about that Deb, as I noticed that even though the kid was acting out, she seemed to have control over him. I drew no judgements at all to her method of reaction to him as it seemed to work. I did feel sorry for her. I worked as a nurse in another life and one of my specialties was in peds. I have seen a variety of emotional disorders but nothing like this. Attachment disorder wasn't one I've ever dealth with. Given his age, I wonder what his prognosis is.

I once stood in line at the register of a tiny town's only grocery store. Before me was young woman and her daughter. The child saw a display of cheap plastic toys and begged for one. The mom explained that she had already picked out a toy and that she wasn't getting a second one. The girl threw a escalating screaming fit, a full blown tantrum. This went on for a while and the young mother never gave in but was so embarassed by her daughters behavior. She was almost in tears when she turned to me (a total stranger) and said "I don't know what to do". I explained that she should remain calm and only pay attention to her child after she quiets down. This is what my mama did raising a large group of unruly kids. If she said "No", she only said it once, she only said "stop it" once. You learned the hard way. Let the child scream and let her learn that a tantrum was no way to get a reward. I ended my advice by praising the mother for NOT giving in. Everyone in line had to put up with this child's screaming fit - but we were all glad to see the mom learn a lesson on being strong.

My mom would've made a spectacle of removing the first toy from the purchases and if the begging continued she would have removed some toys from our room when we got home. No negotiation, no excuses, no talking it over. You learned that you lose when you ignore mama's requests. She was tough, and we were a rowdy bunch of boys. Today it hurts to see childen controlling their parents.

Hurray for you John and your mother. Some parents who are knew to parenting often have doubt in correcting their children. I have found that a parent with experience, when correcting another's child, if the correction is done with thoughtfulness and consideration that the correction is well received.

By not jumping to a conclusion, being calm, taking the time to explain to a child, showing understanding of the parent goes a long way.

Good examples of handling the problem of children in the garden center in this thread is to have an interesting area for children. Have a plant section for children, give the children inexpensive and easy to grow plants. Create interest and teach respect.

Please, however, keep in mind that a garden center is just absolutely packed with dangerous material of every descripton.

Pesticides, fertilisers and chemicals legally considered haz mat. Sharp tools. Ladders. Hoses in walkways. Toxic plant material. Heavy material stacked on pallets. Electrical sources in a wet environment. Machinery. Enormous fans and heaters capable of making mincemeat out of any items going past a screen. Gas lines. Transient people milling around (even pervs garden), cars pulling in and out of parking spaces (even people who get out on sunday only and shouldn't be driving).

If you invite people into this environment, their safety is your responsibility. Children can't read and arent' expected to know about danger. It's YOUR responsibility, whether parents control them or not. IOW, cover your behind and carry good liability insurance.

As a child, I remember the signs that read, "You break it you bought it".

Maybe, that line placed at about five foot five inches, and another that reads, "You break it, your parents buy it" posted at say two and a half foot high might get the idea across to parents.

Terran

"Even Pervs Garden" - I'm off to get a t-shirt printed!

Kids are more than welcome in our retail facility. A bit of noise now and then but that's what kids do. I'm glad moms and grandpas feel comfortable bringing the kids in, having a cup of coffee, and enjoying themselves. Kids especially like the free little bags of popcorn. We welcome and encourage families.

There is reason to be afraid to discipline children in public. I have a friend who had a young daughter who was misbehaving while they were eating out. She did not respond to verbal correction so he took her out to the car and (horror or horrors) spanked her. Someone saw it and called the police. Nothing much became of it but just that record keeps showing up. Applying for just about anything can require a poice background check. He can not be a Boy Scout leader because of this incident.

This week a friend told me about a mother she knew who once slapped her hysterical, thrashing child in desperation so a nurse could treat her. The nurse reported the mother to Child Protective Services.

Attachment disorder is a new term to me but anyone who wants to better understand today's crisis in parenting should either watch Supernanny or read "Hold on to your Kids, Why Parents Matter."

What is intolerable to watch is not bad children but incompetent parenting, and no one needs the business of incompetent parents because the damage done by the kids cancels out its value. Trust me, your other customers (including those with better behaved kids), when they see the damage being done by the kids and tolerated by you, know they are paying for it and would rather see you take a stand. The incompetent parents need a motivator to learn how to control their kids, and being asked to leave a store might just about do it.

Put in a kids play area. Tell kids and parents that the rest of the store is for either adults, or kids who can behave like adults for the time they are there. Growing up IS the objective of childhood, and they should welcome the opportunity to practice it in small intervals.

Those who are afraid that their brand of discipline will subject them to police reports if done in public should investigate alternative ways of public discipline. As I think about the lip-ripping-whisperer, in addition to the fact of a stranger's speaking to the kid, and what he said, one other reason it was effective was that he got down to the child's level to speak. Parents tend to say or holler out corrections that probably sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, when it is far more effective to kneel down, make sure you have their attention, LISTEN to them, and then remain firm in what you expect of them and the consequences if they persist in behaving badly. Parents need a clear understanding of acceptable behavior, need to communicate that to their children, need to engage with the children and need to follow through on reasonable consequences (spankings and swats are hardly ever truly effective in my experience, and I don't think do much to improve the overall relationship). It won't spare them from the embarrassment of a tantrum, but over time the rules become better ingrained than they would with absent-minded yelling, emotional spanking and the like.

As for shop owners, totally agree kids need to be kept on a short (metaphorical beyond a certain age) tether and not taken if they are particularly destructive. But yes, do remember your audience. And don't be afraid to show little ones in a positive way the right way to investigate something of interest ("no, we can't pull the petals off, but look over here, do you see how the new leaves are brighter green," etc.). Trust me, a relaxed parent will buy more from you. :-)

It's a fine line between wanting kids with their parents in your establishment--and protecting your assets. If I see kids running, etc. I try to talk to them in a friendly way and see if that helps. Usually they're just bored because mom/grandma has been looking at the same table of plants for five minutes. I even point out a place where they have room to run if that's all they want to do.
But if they're climbing, throwing things, punching down the leaves on waterlilies, picking flowers, I firmly stop them and tell them that they aren't allowed to do that here.
If they persist, I bring the matter to their parents' attention, that usually works. One time I did tactfully, I hope, point out to mom that it might be easier for her to shop if she brings someone with her to watch Junior, and she got the hint and did bring someone with her next time.
Kids can be great and I fully want to encourage any who want to garden, but I also see a lot of kids that aren't watched by their parents at all as they shop, and that's not cool either if they're tearing things up that cost me money, then I'm going to stop it.