My little nursery jokes...

17 years ago

I have worked as the nursery manager for a full line garden center for over 10 years now, and I have either been there too long or I am having too much fun - you decide:

I have a 2" caliper bald cypress that died back to a 6" stump, yet sprouted generous adventitious growth. I've been playing around with it for a few years, snipping here and there. I have it prominently displayed with the price tag marked "$1699.00 or best offer"

In the spring I go to the Hobby Lobby store and buy plastic apples to hang from the fruit trees for sale. Get a lot of double takes on the cherries...

We shift a lot of can stock quite often, and sometimes the tags get lost. I'll be able to figure out what exact cultivar I got when they bloom, but in the interim they get a tag like this - "Mr. E Lilac", or "Mr. E Buddleia". This little joke comes back to bite me when the little old lady comes in and says, "I got the most wonderful lilac from you last year, and I want another one. It was a (here it comes...) Mr. E!"

And then the little garden railroad I have set up makes children of all ages smile....

I dunno, I think I been there too long...

brian

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Comments (5)

deeproots
17 years ago
thats alright, I'll make up the occasional latin name.
I once named a bunch of ferns after my favorite diseases.

there was this Basil I had (couldn't remember the name) it was the smallest lil ball... perfectly shaped and tight leaves. Of course I came up with a name for it... To this day I still get requests for "Basil- Drew's lil green balls"

I once had a guy named Raul, heck, I couldn't understand a word he said... and he couldn't understand me.
He'd end up limbing up all the weeping willows, he'd eat the weeds he pulled out of pots....
We had to fire him, as I felt anywhere there are alot of chemicals and someone is eating the vegetation there is a liability.
heptacodium
17 years ago
One of these days, when I decide to start my own nursery, I know what I'm going to grow...

I'm going to call the site of my endeavors Gilligan's Nursery.

Plant list:

Vodka Viburnum
Black Velvet Daylily...description involves something about yellow
Corona 'n' Limemound Spirea, and it's sister plant,
Tequila 'n' Limemound Spirea
Miller Lite Lilac
Jack Daniel's Potentilla
Budweiser Yellow-twig Dogwood
Pabst Blue Ash
Busch Mountain Ash
Mandevilla...Bougainvillea...Panch Villa?
Windsor Willow
Southern Comfort Spirea
Buschmill's Irish Birch
Berberis x bacardi
Captain Morgan Magnolia

The theme song for the plae will be sung to the tune of the song, "I'm too sexy"

I'm too sexy for my shovel,
too sexy for my shovel,
so sexy it bellows.

I'm too sexy for my rake,
too sexy for my rake,
so sexy it aches.

I'm too sexy for my sod,
too sexy for my sod,
so sexy I'm a God.

OK, OK, so we got too much sun on those days we laid 1800 yards of sod a day. At least we had fun.

Best thing I ever heard: a description of myccorhizae that compared it to Athlete's Foot, except good for you, er, your plant.
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paveggie
17 years ago
Brian -- too much fun! Keep at it.
botann
17 years ago
For those of you who haven't seen this site yet. It's a Hoot.

Here is a link that might be useful: Shady
Carrie B
17 years ago
Disclaimer: I'm not as creative as y'all. Somenone told me this one.

What do you call a crabapple in a yard with no trees?
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-Absence of malus.