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Kiniptions, of the Garden-Variety

digit
13 years ago

I came across a new word recently: paninate.

It is a combination of "panic" and "burninate," as in to "immediately set fire to." Whatever prompts the episode of panic has to be burned, or otherwise gotten rid of, immediately! Throwing it in the garbage can is okay - as long as there is a securely tight lid and the truck with the HUGE metal clamp is coming within 48 hours to lift the can and deposit its contents into the blackhole of the municipal waste-stream.

Paninate responses fall somewhere on the Kiniption Spectrum of human behavior.

Sometimes, gardeners paninate because of insects, insect damage, and suspected disease events. Those prone to this response are highly suspicious of anything growing in dirt.

Characteristic moments of bravado occurring thru the growing season are common. They are attempts to overcome unreasonable later paninate episodes. Spreading various types of teas, even urinating in compost, are sometimes attempts to deal with the impending paninate.

Usually, self-medication is ineffective, altho' stiff shots of alcohol immediately before harvest, preparation and consumption of garden vegetables usually have a prophylactic effect. Otherwise, alcohol should be discouraged within the garden and kitchen environments.

How about you? Are you subject to paninate responses to garden-variety vegetables? There is professional help available.

digitSteve

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