My favorite and preferred way to get your soil revivified is to apply LOTS of either composted manure (horse, goat, etc) or straight rabbit manure, composted or not. I achieved a startling change in my front yard from pavement-feeling clayey stuff to an incredibly springy, almost turfy feel by distributing the waste from my 100+ rabbits and then adding redworms. The resulting texture brought in the rest of the native worms, who took care of integrating the top with the old soil, and now I have a yard I could grow pretty much anything in if the dog would quit trampling it. :) My roses and other established plants get frequent doses of fresh rabbit manure and worm castings (rabbit manure won't burn but you do want it away from the stem about an inch for air), and my Queen Elizabeth generally gets pruned down from its habitual 8-10 FEET of height about four times a year. :) BUNNY POWER RULES! :)

YAY! The deed is done, the saga is over. Granny Marsh has all but 'fessed up. I think I devoured half the milk chocolate bar she sent reading posts and Member Pages the past few days! LOL! Yes Shirley, the flying scary monkeys were from Wizard of Oz and are probably responsible for many youthful nightmares to this day. Anyone in a flight path from Seattle to Michigan, watch the skies closely because I'm going to release a batch of them to thank Granny Marsh personally for her good deed and wicked secret-keeping ways. Like the bumper sticker I saw said: "Don't make me release the flying monkeys!" Shirley, hats off to your son for pursuing law enforcement-that is a most honorable calling and I'm sure will pay off handsomely in the future. If he needs a sleuthing tutor: you have my email! I still had you in mind for my Pal, because you're so nice. Also Carol/Veeja who is always looking out for me, but now looking for her dahlia tubers LOL and will get them SOON, I promise. I don't want to send you junk tubers that won't grow- be patient! And don't forget Earthly who I was soooooo sure was my sub Pal, or Dianna Mud Mom who sends things to me out of the blue! But no, 'twas the Finn from Michigan and very much fun to try to figure this out. Couldn't have done it without the clues, Granny! Thanks again. What a terrific group of people! And now I can say Thanks Cassie for a great Secret Pal swap.

Thank you for that prayer, Toni! It was lovely! Happy Mothers day to all of our Mothers in fact, Mothers in waiting and Spiritual Mothers, and even to our male "moms". You are all very precious and very appreciated! Giving birth to a child does not make one a mother, it is love, attention, caring and devotion that does that. Being a mother is holding them close when they hurt or are fearful, laughing and crying with them, knowing when to let go and knowing how to let them come home again, even if just for a few minutes. It is support, cheerleading, playing the 'bad guy' when needed, encouraging them to grow, and try new things, even when all we want to do is keep them close. It is accepting the decisions they make for their lives, not grudgingly, but with love and understanding, even when those choices are not ones we would have made for them. It is loving where they love... and standing back and not getting in the middle. It is giving our opinion, then stepping back to let them be the person they choose to be. And it's even standing to the side and letting them deal with the consequences, good or bad, of the decisions they make. It is being there for them, even if the consequences are deserved. Blessings to all of you who have faced or will face these challenges and who do so with love, because a Mother's job is never done. Kathy Kathy

Hi lyfia! and congratulations on your baby girl. I have a 10yo dd. Both dh and I are introverts. I was painfully shy as a child. Neither of us had a lot of parental support growing up, and I think this is a major cause of our social insecurity. My DD is probably the most extroverted person I've ever met. She will go up to anybody and strike up a conversation. She went on a sleepover with a group of girls she never met last week - no fears, she said "It's another chance to make new friends!" So, your daughter is not absolutely destined to be shy or insecure. I didn't do anything special. I couldn't stand being cooped up in the house when she was tiny so we went to the park almost every day. I soon met lots of other moms (depite my shyness) and other kids her age. The going to the park and hanging out lasted for her first five years, by which time she had a large group of people she knew, and felt comfortable with the moms as well as the girls and boys. At five she started school, and that went very well for the first couple of years. She loved her teachers and got along well with the other kids. But in second grade the whole alpha girl/wolf pack mentality kicked in and she just didn't understand what was going on. The playground can be a really cruel place. In addition, she was getting tons of homework that seemed downright silly and timewasting, so we decided to pull her out of school for a break and try homeschooling. The homeschooling was my dh's idea. I felt dd was much to social to do it. As it turns out, the socializing she gets from homeschooling is far superior to that at school. DD has kept a couple of friends from school, some old buddies from the park days, and has scads of friends from dancing, science class, Girl Scouts, gymnastics, swim team, etc. - and is able to interact with them all without the kind of survival-of-the-nastiest mentality that comes when you put 50 kids of the same age onto a playground. And the greatest thing about homeschooling is that you get to stay close to your kid. When she was at school I really felt like my role as a parent was being supplanted by teachers, school administration, and most of all, by other kids. Now we are just as close as when she was younger, and I think that bodes well for when she hits the adolescent years. But I didn't mean to write an ode to homeschooling! Really, my main thoughts are: *Stay close to your daughter. There's no such thing as too many hugs and kisses. *Don't compare her to other kids. Yes, other kids will talk sooner, walk sooner, be potty trained - whatever. Let her go at her own pace. They'll all walk and talk sooner or later. *Take all parenting books with a grain (or a pound) of salt. In fact, I would minimize the reading of parenting books altogether. They make you paranoid. *Get out of the house. Expose her to lots of other kids and adults. *Let her be alone sometimes (as she gets older.) Let her learn to enjoy her own company. *Have people over. Family, neighbors - the more people she meets the more she'll feel capable of dealing with. *Don't worry about making mistakes. I sometimes think that my own concerns about dd - that she would be shy and extra-sensitive like her mama - actually helped her out. For example, I didn't want to leave her at kindergarten (the parents were allowed stay for the first day) until she finally said "I think this would be more fun if you went home." I guess what I'm saying is, let her be the one to decide when she is ready to fly solo, rather than pushing her out of the nest. Okay, this has been way too long a break from work! You are a great mom, and your daughter is going to be just fine. Amy