Hi. I lost a daughter last year as well. I didn't want to plant a tree or anything else that could die, so I am going to pick a bulb variety, probably pink tulips, and plant some every year. I hope to put more pockets of them around the yard every year. At least some should bloom every year, some will multiply, and it won't be high maintenance or very expensive to start.

If I had the time and climate, I would also consider a small herb-rose garden - border of santolina or chamomile with lavender surrounding an english rose (maybe heritage). It would be sweet and pretty.

Wishing you peace and happy planning for this special garden.

I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's passing, panda and also yours, aohara.
A memorial garden is a great way to honor a loved one who has passed. I started one last fall for my Mom who passed in August. I am putting some of her favorite flowers in there and I planted a couple of lilac bushes in the corners of the garden.
Forget-me-nots are good for a memorial garden too. I need to get some this spring.
You can usually find packets of seeds pretty inexpensively. And I don't think it is too late to start some now....You can get a whole lot of plants for next to nothing with seeds...
If you have anything to trade there is the exchange forum on here, also, where you can get plants for trade.
Good luck with your project.

We are frozen solid here in PA right now, but when it gets warmer, say early May, e-mail me and I would be glad to send you some plants for your garden. I also have alot of seeds from last year. I can include them too!

Good idea on forgetmenots, Lucia, and thanks for the offer barefoot. Our daffs are blooming here by DC and it's supposed to be 70 this weekend.

Violets are very easy and I always remember picking them as child. They'll spread (perhaps too much) but are very reliable. Violas are nice too, like a small pansy. They have little "faces" that kids are always drawn to, and they self seed reliably and come back year after year.

My heart goes out to you and aohara. It is my absolute worst nightmare. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I'm crying just reading this.

Both of you can send me an email with your address, and when everything thaws out, I can send you both of them.

Bleeding hearts - seems appropriate. Do very well in shade and are tougher than their delicate form suggests. I can send you some of those too.

Gottagarden, I have bleeding hearts and tons of violets here. I used to live on Grand Island, north of Buffalo. I had to buy violets there but they're almost weeds here. I do want to get some violas planted this year.

I lost my daughters a little over a year ago now and am also planning a memorial garden/pond. We recently moved into a new home without landscaping in the back. We are building a raised pond with a little water fall. In the raised area, we are having a flower garden. We use sunflowers to represent our daughters, becky and tori, and were able to find large metal flowers to put on the wall behind the pond. We plan on planting flowers in the pink and purple varieties. Also, at Terrysvillage.com has beautiful personalized stepping stones. Much love and MISSing our children together.

Oh my, I am so sad reading this thread. Every year since I have been married (10 years now) I have lost someone near and dear to me. What I have done in the gardens I recently started at the family home where I grew up is plant a flower or plant with either the name of the loved one or with a flower that's name reminds me of them. I always use perennials as they always come back, like the wonderful memories of the people they represent.
Best wishes with your garden.
Trish

I am sorry to hear of your loss. A friend of mine lost her daughter 2 years ago on Easter and we all got together and created a garden for her. She has a very shady backyard with lots of pine trees, so we were able to do shade flowers. We wanted the garden to be in full bloom at Easter, since that's when she passed away, so we started with 2 dogwood trees. We added lots of hostas, 3 bleeding hearts, tons of dafodils, which we spread through the whole yard and lined a path through the garden with lilies of the valley. We also added a small bench in the missle of the garden. It was beautiful and now when Easter comes around she has a beautiful space to sit and remember her daughter.

I, too, lost my child recently. Evan would have been 3 on February 1, 2007. A friend gave us a bird house in Evan's memory, and I've been thinking about doing a songbird garden for him. I also think a butterfly garden would be a nice memorial. We have ordered a little memorial stone to place there, but I really like the idea of a bench.

I posted a message in the Georgia Gardener's Forum, if you want to see a picture of Evan. The post is "We need your prayers."

Thanks for sharing with us, and I am praying for you!
Pam

Michelle,
This is coming late but if you haven't already, here are some plants that could work for you. I don't know your site or your taste but...
Perhaps as an anchor, an evergreen azalea or rhododendren would work and a hydrangea to play against it? Ogon, a spirea with tiny white flowers and delicate leaves could mix in. Jacques Cartier is a small rose I grow in the shade with beautiful pink flowers and healthy blue-green foliage. A Pieris like Dorothy Wyckoff with early scented blooms draped like pearls and beautiful red buds all winter. Plus in Z7, you can grow many camellias. Also there is Mountain Laurel, with perfect flowers of pinks and whites. Then there are a few snowball viburnum like V. carlesi or a scented daphne. Kerria Japonica is good for a brighter pallete.
Clematis prefer sun but will do something for you in shade. I grow a few in shade - Miss Bateman and Niobe. A very sweet early one is Markham's Pink but they are many.
There are many sweet perennials to consider also. Epimedium, pulmonaria, gingers, hellebores, brunneras, sweet woodruff, cimafuga, hostas, vincas, heuchera, tiarella, begonia grandis, variegated solomon seal, variegated pachysandra.
On another site, there was a very charming post of a little patch of variegated pachysandra with snowdrops blooming through it. On the same site, another gardener posted purple leaved ajuga with fall crocus blooming among it. Both were very effective.
If you email me, I can send you a start in the spring of epimedium Lilafee, sweet woodruff and a white vinca called Gertrude Jekyll.

Here is a link that might be useful: images of lilafee

A wonderful thread here. I'm sure it will be a lovely memorial for your dd, no matter what you choose to plant as your heart and love will go into creating and maintaining it. Will you also use this memorial garden as a prayer garden for yourself? Just a thought... A stone child angel statue might be very suitable in this area.

Wow these lilafees look really wild and fun!! There are roses that will grow in shade. What about fuschias, these are fun as one can 'pop' the buds open- children and grownups love to do that. They come in many pretty color combinations, and are readily available in garden centers and nurseries.

careytearose