Marty, I am so sorry. We missed you at the swap. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jan

Thanks, Jan & Jeff. It's been kind of unreal. Looking back with 20-20 hindsight, I can now see little signs that his health was going downhill for maybe four to six months, but at the time it wasn't obvious. He was at work two weeks before he passed on. The end came very suddenly.

I'm beyond grateful for how he went. He was home, and there was enough warning so his sisters, children and my family (he was very close to my brothers) could gather. He got to be with those he loved most, and he passed holding my hand. It was truly beautiful. I felt his spirit rise.

It's afterward that's tough. Going through his belongings is brutal. I still cry every day, which feels like a healthy part of the process. Overall I'm doing OK, and starting to figure out what I do now and with the rest of my life.

Marty

Marty,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard I know. I lost my brother in Dec, very unexpected. Grief is a long process allow yourself time to work through it if you can. Thinking of you.
Jennifer

Marty, I am so sorry! I just cannot imagine how one deals with such a loss. I was watching you tonight on Volunteer Gardener--you were giving great information, but the whole time I was hurting for you and your loss, for the adjustments that you are experiencing and will continue to experience for a long time. My thoughts are with you. I hope you can lose yourself in your gardening and experience some peace among the flowers.

Ann

My deepest condolences on your loss. Just hang tight to the hand of the Savior and He will help you through it all.
God Bless You,
PVP

Our condolences Marty... I realize I'm additionally late in giving those, sorry, don't always get to all the new threads as soon as they pop up...

I can sympathize, but not yet empathize, unless the loss of my best friend who would have been a spouse had we met at a different time, different place been in the cards, "counts", and it might... but at the very least, sympathy runs deep... just now reaching "that point" in life where my husband and I take time for us and not so much taking our "togetherness" for granted, better late than never... and it sounds as if you "had that" so I'm not writing to the uninitiated... Such a loss not hard to imagine, just not something any of us often choose to think about. We're both sad for you and your family's loss ... times like this I try to remind that grief is for the living, for those who have crossed over, have gone to a better place and have no worries...

Take your sweet time in going through personal items... don't even make it a thing "to-do"... all such physical trappings will be attended to when the time is right. Don't speed your way to them lest you do not give yourself time to adjust to the greater loss of your other half, your companion, love and mate...the things gone that were never grounded in the physical.

I wish there were words for all of those, as a friend and I call them, "squishy" feelings and perceptions that have so much volume and/or intensity, but no real form by which to describe them. If there were words for all that then I'd convey them to you. If I could, I'd bundle up newborn puppy-breath in a bouquet tied with Angel hair and give you...

I'm so sorry, Marty.

I hope it helps you to know that you've touched more people than you know by sharing all your wonderful wisdom here - and we're all thinking of you now, even though you may never have seen us.

Jennifer, I'm sorry to hear of your news, too.

I hope someday I'll be able to meet all of you and give you hugs in person - if you'd like them, that is. (I'm a huggy type, but don't worry - I know that doesn't mean everyone else is!) Maybe we could exchange smiles over a favorite plant sometime instead.

Thinking of both of you ---

Stephanie

Marty,
I will think of you often, I will send up some prayers, but most of all I will look at the phlox and know that you are loved by your family and friends. If you need anything just let me know........anything at all.
Martha