Hello Hon. Bill ' Gonefishin' and everyone

This year I am looking for trading, most of my neighbors are growing some veggies, and I will be willing to trade with them only. Some of the veggie gardens looks good. One of my neighbors want some Great White tomatoes Heirlooms from me this year, so I am looking at his veggie garden to see what I will trade with, because of the cost of growing this year.

One of my neighbors is growing about 5 hybrids tomatoes plants, so I will be wiling to trade, because of cost this year.

last year I was the Giveaway Lady, Amen!!

I am even willing to Trade to Restaurants, in place of Lunch.

To help made up from cost, I will also have to can 100 quarts of Tomato sauce for the fall and winter months.

You have a big heart Hon. Bill, especially still giving away Veggies and Tomatoes, while suffering from all that rain here in Texas.

God will Bless you in return along with other's who give what they can this year, under these bad weather conditions.

Yes, God usually tends to make sure that what goes around comes around in the end. Many times it comes in a form and direction you aren't even looking in.
That still does not take away from the fact that He does not want His children to be used and abused. Be strong, good people, and happy tomato growing! May all your B.L.T.'s be juicy!

I had excess tomato plants, also, so I put them on Freecycle. I had several people say they wanted some but never showed up to get them. I bet if I offered the tomatoes, they'd all be falling all over themselves to get them. So my excess plants got stuck into the ground in a less-than-ideal spot and if I get any tomatoes off of them I will consider them a "bonus"! And we also have chickens. Our neighbor gets hens and then gets tired of feeding and cleaning up after them so we always end up with them. Of course, we make sure he gets as many eggs as he wants, but we still have more than we can use. So I have to beg people to take eggs. Can you believe it?!

Ah yes, what I think of as "Little Red Hen" syndrome. Everyone wants tomatoes, but whenever I've asked anyone for help (which is very rare, as I just usually do stuff myself), forget it. I'm out there myself in the blazing sun planting the 80 or so tomato plants. And I too like giving extras away - it's the sense of entitlement that gets me. Do people have ANY CLUE as to how much time/money/effort all of this is?

It's the same thing with my seedlings - I always wind up with literally hundreds of extras, and in the past I've given them to anyone and everyone. This year I finally said enough, and culled that list down to a very few. It's not like I expect much - god forbid anyone should ever bring me just a tomato or two from their own plants! - but the stories of people who leave the plants in their small containers for several weeks because they can't find the time to plant them, or the people who can't be bothered to do something as simple as leave the label with the plants, or the majority (99%) who can't even be bothered to tell me how they liked them at the end of the season......well, I grow weary. And forget thanks - I get the "sure, we'll take some off your hands" comments instead. Sigh. All those people, I figure they can just go to Home Depot and pay for their plants.

but the stories of people who leave the plants in their small containers for several weeks because they can't find the time to plant them,
* * *
That drives me up the freakin WALL when people do that. Or they put them in 3 gallon buckets (those tall ones from ice cream parlors) and expect to get full size tomatoes. I keep telling people 'these plants need to be in the ground or they won't be happy and neither will you.' Plus the extra watering required. From now on my slogan is: To good home only. These are not just the run of the mill get em at every hardware store plants, they are heirlooms, some of which you just can't FIND around here. Indifference just doesn't cut it when you are growing anything.

You are all making me think I am going to give my extra produce to the soup kitchen to guarantee it will be appreciated. The kitchen in my own town that feeds the homeless didn't want my tomatoes one year because they had too many from other gardeners and couldn't use it all up. Well, that's good I suppose. But there is an inner-city kitchen/shelter that I have been to with my church that I will bet is not so fortunate. It will be a little drive for me, but I think the produce will get eaten up at least. I give away to friends and family, and some neighbors too, but no one is really very rude about it as some of you have described. And you guys are right, of the folks who get my extra plants no one tags the plants or saves seeds. I guess they just figure free plants will be available again next season! And maybe they are right!

OK....I see this dude comin upon my exit off the Interstate, and he is holding up a sign........
I get closer to the sign, and it reads....

HUNGRY, and HOMELESS, Please HeLP..!

I Stopped traffic for just a bit....and tossed this dude a mater. He catches it and....

I've always wanted to grow chemical-free tomatoes, along with many other veggies and fruits, so that I had enough to share when I moved to a semi-rural area. The first year I had only a small harvest, but the next was a bumper crop, more than I could possibly eat. I was excited about sharing it with my new neighbors. I called all 9 of them and told them what was in season and to come over to pick some. 3 of them said no because they had their own gardens - which is OK, 3 of them said they might come if time permitted and never did - and that's OK, and 3 of them said, "That's great. Hang a bag of them on my mailbox and I'll get them when I can." - that was really NOT at all OK. Needless to say none of my neighbors got any of my harvest.

This year I am a vendor at a small local farmer's market on Saturdays and sell out every week to perfect strangers. One of my neighbors accidently came upon my booth and expected me to give her for free what I was selling. After all, I had offered them to her before, why should this year be different? (She was one of those who wanted mailbox delivery.) I handed her my business card and, smiling, told her that it was a "for-profit" enterprise. She was highly insulted and now won't even wave when we pass on our gravel country road. No great loss - I have enough money from being a vendor that I can gun the engine and give her a cloud of dust to drive through.

(I really don't do that but I have thought of it. I do wave to her anyway, and smile, hoping she truly enjoys the pink cardboard tomatoes and the chemical tastes of sturdy imported veggies from the grocery store.)

Nancy the nancedar

Nancy,
As I've stated this year after I give produce to those who I feel appreciate or who I feel need it it I plan to sell any excess at a convenience store. I've already heard some say oh you don't need the money. So my response is going to be oh the produce is free. The charge is for handling,transportation and the commission of selling here. No I won't get rich doing this. Maybe I will get some of my water money back and have great produce for myself. Jay

How many out there likes fried-green tomatoes? I know my wife and I do. That's what we had for breakfast this morning. Put a little flour and cornmeal on them, fry to a golden brown, with home cured ham, home made cream gravy, with eggs and biscuits and cow's butter. What a breakfast!!

fry to a golden brown, with home cured ham, home made cream gravy, with eggs and biscuits and cow's butter. What a breakfast!!...

Joe, sounds like a recipe for a heart attack to me.

Reg

Well if you get above zone 6, the heart just can't take a good breakfast like that on a regular basis.

Would rather die from a heart attack than slowly through lingering cancer and alzheimer's. We choose our deaths these days because we know what causes what.

As for rude folks demanding theirs, had the opportunity to try a new response today.
"That looks great!"
"Thanks, we have a little plot at the community garden. These are heirlooms, first of the season."
"You have more? Are you going to bring them in for everyone?"
"No."
"Why not? It's not like you're giving away gold."
"Oh no! You wanted some? What was I thinking?!?! I just didn't plant enough for everyone, how stupid! We only planted for us and the Food Bank, I really should have slaved over the soil more so that I could bring enough for everyone to get free food! Shame on me for not giving away my time, energy, and money to people who can do for themselves!" Then I squeezed out a tear or two. She hasn't talked to me yet this morning....

We don't eat the cured meat, gravy and biscuits very often, maybe, once or twice a year, because I do have heart trouble and type II diabetes. We eat the eggs often, usually in salads, but not too many. We eat the fried green-tomatoes often when they start coming on, but fried only in trans-fat free oil. Reginald 25 and Tennegreen, your're all right. It is a recipe for a heart attack, that's why we only eat it once or twice a year, but my wife and I enjoy it very much when we do have a breafast like that.

Joe,

I know you're from SE KY and you talking about that kind of food makes my mouth water. I can remember as a kid sitting at my mamaw's table eating just like that. My mom cooking just like that too. Makes me home sick. She lived to be 95 eating like that everyday. Her favorite was fresh lettuce with bacon grease poured over it.

I'm just thinking of that.....I'm hungry.

Bill

I share my extra produce with my senior neighbors. One of them returns the favor by giving me worm castings and she takes in my mail when I'm out of town. The others always thank me and send me cards for my birthday and Christmas. Last year a new neighbor (about my age) asked me for some of my grapes. Smiling, I replied that he wasn't eligible yet but I'd keep him in mind when he turned 75. I think he thought I was a jerk until this past January. We had a power outage and having the only gas range on the block I delivered hot meals to, and offered to fill thermoses of hot water for, my neighbors. Last month I noticed him helping take care of his next-door neighbor's lawn when she was down with a sprained ankle. I think I see a nice bowl of grapes in his (near) future. :-)

These are great stories, I just love reading Yalls posts....
But what about the guy holding up the sign on the off-ramp?

The guy on the off-ramp only does that as a part-time occupation. The rest of the day he's tending his large vegetable garden.

OH, and I have to say. For all those people out their thinking it was that type of cooking. What killed her was her no good, lazy son living with her for 30+ years smoking. She died of second hand smoke, lung cancer.

I last saw her was 2 or 3 months before that. I made a special trip to go see her in VA from GA. I'm so glad I went out of my way for her one last time. She was like a second mother to me. I miss Clara so much. Her mother lived to be 103, eating the same way too. I miss Savannah too.

Bill

I don't post very often, but this is such a great topic. 2 yrs ago I started growing tomatoes and making salsa. My whole family wanted some. I got thankyou's. The next year I planted enough seed for them AND printed out the recipe, they claimed they couldn't make it as good as I did and expected more. My family and I get by financially, our bills are payed,not much more then that. There are people everywhere who abuse "the system" and there are those who need the help, but because of pride or whatever, never ask. The trick is knowing the difference.
Shelley

secret is to help others with advice or hands on help but don't share produce.

Onoffexitramp is right, helping with advice or hands on help. It's alright to give to people that are disable, very old or the homeless, to family and friends, but beware about giving to just anybody. There are alot of people that will take advantage of a good thing.

I love that old saying:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
TEACH a man to fish and you feed him for life.

Sure rings true doesn't it?

Same thing with home-canned goodies. If I don't get any feedback, they go to the bottom of the list. If I do get feedback, they get more. If I get the jars back, they're at the top of the list, LOL.

With garden produce, I'm happy to give away extra if I don't need it, but when people expect delivery service I draw the line, LOL. This year I have some trades going with people from work, which is going nicely.

I have a few hens, and take the extra eggs to work to give away to people that like home-grown eggs. The goodwill has been returned dozens of times over.

Leigh

I am a big fan of the barter system. Both for the practicality and the fact that the government is getting less of our hard earned money in taxes if no money changes hands.
I make my special Tomato Olive Bread for my hairdresser,as his baking specialty is cakes and not bread. I give him bread and he cuts my hair for free at his house instead of the shop. He also gave me a free cut this year in exchange for the tomato plants I gave him. Makes me think of that older movie 'Dances With Wolves': "GOOD TRADE".

triple b ....now thats what I mean....Excellent !!!!
People still do that today ya know?
They just hard to find, with the hustle-n-bustle of our New World Society. Mostly these days growing in your own backyard is just about that, not much more, just to feed your family. Even then...some of the youngens dont like what Ya grow, so try and trude for later generations....Keep the Faith, and Good Gardenen to Ya!

I certainly understand all the stories you all are telling and the why and why not of the giving or not giving...I'll say this in regard to my tomatoes, beans peas squash etc...I have wonderful neighbors...I am so fortunate that we found this neighborhood when looking for a retirement place...They have all done so much and they see a need and it is done, you don't even ask,...they just do it..and it doesn't matter whether it is feeding each others animals or tractoring someones dirt etc, they are all so generous...If they find out you need something...it will probably show up on your doorstep.....so I truly love giving them a bag full of beans or a basket of tomatoes...heck in the winter when I cook beans and cornbread, I always cook enough for one of our neighbors...It makes me so proud to be able to share with them.....None of them are gardeners...It just isn't something they enjoy and several of them are not retired but work full time so they don't have the energy for gardening...I am so glad that I can repay them in this small way and especially since I love getting out there digging in the dirt.....

Hello all,

I have no problem with sharing anything that I grow. But the key word here is sharing, "sharing" can actually mean giving something as an outright gift: for example, to "share" one's food really means to give some of it as a gift. But in doing so you are the one deciding.

I have urban lot that I grow every veggie and flower I can get my hands on. Next to that lot a tenant rents a house from us and I shared my abundance freely with her by the basket load. Well for a few days last year when I went in the morning to pick my Kentucky Wonders and tomatoes that were ripe, they were all gone! I knew I was not crazy, because I saw them the day before and the rodents usually leave signs that they have been there. Well I turned to Inspector Gadget and saw her going into the Garden @ 6 a.m. no less with my basket getting what she wanted. I immediately confronted her (Not too nicely). She had the cojones to say I wasnt giving her what she wanted and that I had so much why shouldnt she be able to TAKE what she wanted! You all have to know that I was hot as a fire cracker, I kindly picked up MY basket that SHE used and told her to stay out of my Garden! So what I did and she still had an attitude was put a lock on the gate.I dont know if she is a bit loopy in the head or not but the next day she was holding the lock looking at it as if to say, "How did this get here?" Now she gets nothing and I stare her dead in the face every time I go and work in my garden and continue to share with others.

So the moral of this long story is sharing can become cumbersome if the person receiving the shared goods are unappreciative and believes that they are owed something, thats when the problem arises.

The Garden Pooter!

P.S. Be blunt always , so that there wont be any misunderstandings, unless the person is loony!

Pooter, as incomprehensible as that attitude may be to us, there seems to be something about abundance that makes people think it's all right to help themselves. Years ago I was taking a walk in winter with my best friend, a very intelligent, morally upright girl, and we went past a farm that was obviously raising trees for Christmas, since they were planted like row crops. To my utter astonishment, my friend wanted to cut one and take it home, thinking the farmers would never miss it because they had so many. It never occurred to her that she would become a thief in doing so. I think it must be a genetic flaw, because it has nothing to do with reason.

No time now to read all the replies but if you're talking about tomatoes at work here's what I do -
I'll take in a box of excess tomatoes and leave it in the break room with sign : "Free tomatoes, 1st come 1st served!" and then get out of the way, that way "they" can fight with each other and not me ;o)

Be blunt always , so that there wont be any misunderstandings, unless the person is loony!...

Garden Pooter you are absolutely correct here in my view. Most reasonable folks would not do what your tenant did.

However, some people with a different "perspective" on life will take advantage of any kindness offered them without any form of reciprocation. And continue to do so until the door gets shut, and then they look for other easy marks from whom to garner more "benefits."

I know... I have a few rental units. Nothing to do with gardening -- it's about human psychology.

Reg

My hairdresser's and my bartering relationship grew out of friendship first. We discovered we both liked gardening...and food. I let him try the bread once and I am not even sure how it started, this whole bartering thing between us. It is just a matter of feeling out your friends (note: feeling out, not UP!) to see what services they can provide in exchange for yours. Of course if one persons service involves goods and materials, like wood or baking ingredients, that has to be considered too. For example a haircut, which costs him nothing but a few minutes of time, would be lopsided against a whole batch of homemade salsa.
But if you can find a friend open to the idea of bartering, and is a fair-minded person, it is a super way to go.

When I lived in rural Wisconsin a few years back, just about everyone had gardens. Never had a problem with "wanters". I didn't have a lot of 'mater plants, but what we didn't eat or freeze, I sold to the local school for their salad bars. They loved the cherry tomatoes and cukes, and I got paid for my labors.

Today, I have a yellow pear plant with LOTS of fruit on it. I know that they are my neighbors favorite, but wouldn't mind sharing with them. Better than having them going to waste.

Jae

OK..Getting into other areas....still Tomatoes....hang with me...ok?

What about saving seeds from your homegrown Maters, then in the winter, offering them to future gardeners?

That is a great idea for those future gardeners who are not afraid of work. I found most want me to start their plants FOR them. That works for me, since although I don't share sickly plants I still get to keep the biggest and most robust for myself since I am doing the work. Seems fair to me.

Triple B.....you mean like these?

Not sure if Ya can read the tags.....Mortgage Lifters, and Brussel Sprouts. I know it might be a little early for the B-Sprouts....but I germinating 4 every 3 days....so I can Have em for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then..(what this thread is about) Just plain ol Giving, and Good Gardenen to Ya! -Blane!

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
TEACH a man to fish and you feed him for life"

Teach 'em how to create an artificial shortage of fish
and they eat steak

I like to give my tomatoes away, but I have been disappointed by not having enough for the last couple yrs. I know it is the soil and I am working on it. I have given away several- take one to one co-worker one day, and another on another day. So far, it's worked out. I get kidded but I know they're kidding. But, what I really HAVE to share is about 1 co-worker who needed help w/ her yard. She knows nothing about plants at all, so I went out there, pointed out what were weeds (poison ivy, wisteria, honeysuckle and lots of briars), and worked on her yard for her, including pruning some large (beautiful) shrubs. Now, I have put in over 40 hrs in her yard last yr and this yr, in between my visits, she has done NOTHING!!!! Her husband mows, and that's it. I planted some flowers for her, she did not water them. So, I'm not going back. She has made absolutely NO effort herself, and never offered me any money for my gas or time, or to treat me to lunch, or ever brought me anything at all, or ever said she appreciated my work. Even after I mentioned that I paid my son for helping w/ her yard, NOTHING! I have so much to do in my yard, I do not need to be helping others who don't appreciate it. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest! That said, I hope my tomato plants get into high gear soon so I will have some to give away. Brandy

brandray....great post! and thanks!
tylenol.....please go into futher detail about artificial storage of fish...if you will and thanks!

blanesgarden

uh, yep

Braydyray:
You are a generous person with a very selfish 'friend'. I do understand people who don't want to toil forever in their yards. I am one of them. I hate pulling weeds. So I paid my neighbors grandson to spend a few hours pulling them this past week. Best $25 I've spent this summer. The point is, I PAID someone to do this. I would never let a friend come to help me out and watch them slave while I did nothing. Dinner, flowers, some token of gratitude should have been shown to you. One of my neighbors cut back a few of my bushes (she knows where to cut them back, I just hack away), for me while I was gone for a weekend. Upon my return, I saw the work she had done. I asked her to let me pay her (she does not have any money). She refused; so I bought her a gift certificate for a pedicure. She's a runner, and loves pedicures after running 5 miles a day. It was a gesture to say 'thanks for what you do for me'. Your friend places no value on what you do. This is NOT a friend, as I am sure you know by now.
Wish you were my neighbor, though!

Don't know where you are Cearab, but I did get a neighbor recently that likes plants and we have been sharing.
One of the things that gets me about that co-worker, is that she has such beautiful shrubs and trees in her yard- including the biggest gardenia I've ever seen, huge camellias, several gorgeous, very large Japanese maples (I think- do they get to be 30 ft tall?), a 12 ft holly hedge in front- and she appreciates NONE of it! She said she just wants a grass plot w/ some flowers in front. But, she doesn't want the wisteria cut down and it's swallowing the yard. It has a trunk about 12 inches wide and at least 8 inches thick! And it is squeezing a very large pine tree.
Oh well, I feel better now. Thanks for the kind words.
(Could someone tell my tomatoes to ripen faster? I don't have any to eat right now:( )Brandy

You all are right sharing is a beautiful experience. I mentioned the bad part of sharing but I did not mention the really good belly laughing part. I have one eccentric to most neighbor, but he is a Godsend to me. He has a fenced in urban lot that is all compost! He lives 9 doors down and tells me to take what I want.I in turn taught and helped him through winter sowing. (As he does not need help with Maters at all. The funny part is we run into each other and try to be the first to drop of Maters and other veggies to the elderly who really need ( on a tight budget) fresh veggies , it had gotten to the point where we tell each other where to go, And you know they would leave the basket on the porch for pick up. Sometime they would leave a note or stop us and say thank you!

That makes it worth the head-aches of others.

The Garden Pooter!

brandyray...every spring i get SOOO behind on my garden trying to help others with theirs...and it's SOOOO frustrating to go back later and see they've neglected what i worked so hard to get started...but the ones who DO pick up the torch and really make a nice little garden for themselves make it worthwhile.

Definitely don't help the slackers more than once, though!

I like people who you try and help and they at least make the effort. Right there with ya folks.
Hate when you give people plants and many helpful hints and they not only put it on the 'back burner', they don't even turn the burner on.
You ask them the next time you see them and they shuffle their feet and mutter "Uh, yeah. I gotta do that I guess" and their plants are sorry little sticks that have been left in the pot and put on 'ignore' mode.
But yes there are people that have become great friends through a love of gardening, and we end up feeding each other's addiction.
I am definitely getting to recognize the ones who will be wishy-washy and not even bothering to offer them plants.

I just had to bring this post back up.I am the first to get aggravated with the "wanters" but lately I am begging people to take them. Mailman,meter readers,anyone who dares to darken my doorway.I find it funny how my attitude changes from those first ripe "precious few" to the current dozens of almost overripe wanting a job.This is the time of year my DH says "I told you there were too many" Are there ever too many? :)

Are there ever too many? :)

* * *

NEVER!!
Tomatoes, thankfully, are not like lettuce. They can be frozen until you are ready to use them for cooking or canning. They can also be dried. They are just so dang VERSATILE!!

Earlier someone wrote:
"I had a distant relative come to our house one day and we weren't home, and he thought it was fine to raid the garden.....ggggrrrrrrrr."

Wow! Now that's ground for a blood feud!

My tomatoes are just really starting. 6-10 per day. The big rush is still to come. Most years I have a bumper crop of cukes. This year I decided I would plant more tomatoes and peppers and few cukes and squash. Well something happened to my early cukes when they were about 1 ft. tall. Now I get asked every day where the cukes are. And some even say I didn't plant any because I knew you would have some. And next year make sure you plant more. My answer is I have extra seeds if you want to grow some. But no takers. They want to golf ect. instead of making a garden. One threatened to come and check my garden to see if there really wasn't any. I told him I wouldn't suggest that. Jay

jackinthecountry

Can you say "Hatfields and McCoys?"