Lost Children

17 years ago

My husband and I took in his nephew when he was 8 because of neglect and abuse. Sadly he had so many memories of those days that he never could find happiness. We struggled thru drug abuse, jail, prison with him. He finally found a woman (I use the word lightly) with 4 kids by several fathers that I suppose he felt worthy of. After many years together they married. They lived several hundred miles from us. Came and stayed with us for 3 or 4 months at one time. She treated him awful but he still stayed with her. One of her sons had even tried to kill him. Anyway to make a long story short he ended his life this week. He found that she was having an affair with the dad of two of her children (he had just gotten out of prison) while Mike was out of state working. Guess he just could not take this final rejection. I am really having a struggle with this. I can not bring myself to go to the funeral (that we are all paying for)as I can not face her. I fear what I will say or do. Rest in peace Mike we loved you.....

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Comments (16)

jolanaweb
17 years ago
(((Patsy))), We can only try to guide them, we can't make their choices. I am so sorry to hear this. Y'all went thru a lot and I hope he has found peace and I pray you do too.
You should feel good that you had stuck by him and it sounds like you had helped him a lot.
You will be in my prayers and you have my email and if you need my phone number so you can talk.
jolana
terryisthinking
17 years ago
Patsy

Have your own private funeral service wherever you want. He has known you were there to support. Stressing yourself to attend would not be beneficial. Life has an unfair way of crushing some from the beginning and leaving others to live a live of ease and happiness. I've tried to reconcile that myself. I'm sorry for this sad story you've had to live.
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sally2_gw
17 years ago
Patsy, I am so sorry this has happened. My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. I agree with Txgardenlady.

Sally
petra_gw
17 years ago
This is so sad, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry, sincere condolences to you and your husband.
carrie751
17 years ago
Patsy, there are so many of us who can feel your pain, and pray that you will be comforted. Life has never been known for being fair - guess that is why we have each other. Lean on all your friends here at GW - we love you, and are here for you. God bless you and yours -----
carolann_z8
17 years ago
Patsy, I'm so sorry to hear this. You did everything you knew to do and sometimes things just are bound to happen no matter what.

I'll be praying for you and know that we all love you.
Carol
pjtexgirl
17 years ago
I believe that God will look to his broken heart now. I'm sorry and pray for him and your family.PJ
PKponder TX Z7B
17 years ago
Patsy,
you, Mike and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. What a sad life he lived.
gabriell_gw
17 years ago
Patsy, what a sad story. I am thinking of you and your family.
Dena Walters
17 years ago
patsy,
I am so very very sorry and truely know the pain and agony you are going thru. The why's and what if's...
There are no answers. I too just went thru this 03/17/2006. Its something you never think you will have to confront and when you do, there are no answers and that alone is one of the hardest parts to deal with. My brother n law suicided this march....and he was an M.D. PhD. sooo it just doesnt matter their lifestyles, ages, race...etc...Its a disease!!! and its NOONES fault!!!
You can email me anytime you want to!!!!
Its only been 3 months for me but sometimes it really does help to talk to someone who has gone thru it too!!
My heart just breaks all over again for you and your family!!!..Just know...He knows that you and your family loved him the most in the whole wide world!!!
My most sincere prayers and heart felt sympathy are with you and your family.
Please feel free to email me....anytime!!!
Dena
mikeandbarb
17 years ago
Although you may never understand why he felt this was more than he can bare do not blame yourself. It has taking me a long time to over come my daughters problems, she's used drugs off and on since the age of 13 and now 30, I have just now let her go and let it be in God's hands for I've done all I can without it taking me down and putting me in the ground.
Please think of yourself and your DH, It will take time to lessen the pain, it's important to care for yourself. Talk to anyone that has a good ear and maybe even your Dr. they can be of help.
Peace be with you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Barb
Jacquelyn8b
17 years ago
My prayers for strength and comfort will be said for you and your family. I'm sorry.
~ Jacquelyn
bobbi_p
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for you. Please believe that he's in a better place and knows no pain now. If you feel a need for a support group or more information, I know of various ones for losing children and suicide specific groups. God be with your family as you struggle with the whys of your loss.
patsy_b
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks for all the prayers and messages I have received. We got back in from the funeral last night. Pretty tired today as it was a 6+ trip each way. Can't sleep too well in a motel. Guess I must really be getting old as I really feel that way right now.
Patsy
Dena Walters
17 years ago
Im glad you are back Patsy. Again you and your family are still in my prayers for comfort and peace.

Dena
PKponder TX Z7B
17 years ago
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I cannot imagine your pain right now.