A little something to laugh about

jolanaweb

14 years ago

This was sent to me and just for entertainment, not meant to offend nyone

Yesterday I was at my local Pet-Smart Store buying a large bag

of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, KheSanh , the Wonder Dog and

was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little

to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the

Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up

in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened

in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices

and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it

works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat

one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete

so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the

dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff

an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

laughing so hard. Pet-Smart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time

in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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Comments (9)

roselee z8b S.W. Texas
14 years ago
Jolana -- I think if I would have been listening to that story I would have barfed right there in Pet-Smart. Or maybe the lady did and that's why they won't let you back in there! Hahahaha! What a hoot!
little_dani
14 years ago
As children, we were tempted more than once to coerce a young cousin to chomp on dog biscuits. I can't remember what they tasted like, but they never did hurt us. LOL, I love that story.

Janie
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plantmaven
14 years ago
That is as funny as the email I got about a bored husband in Wally World.

Here is a link that might be useful: bored husband
jolanaweb
Original Author
14 years ago
OMG, I am not showing that to DH, LOL
That is hysterical
rick_mcdaniel
14 years ago
Vurrryyyy amusing.
rick_mcdaniel
14 years ago
I am looking forward to having the time to dream that stuff up. (grin)
denisew
14 years ago
A very entertaining story. I've read the one about the bord husband in WalMart too. Both are very funny stories! Thanks for posting! I needed a good laugh.
roselee z8b S.W. Texas
14 years ago
Janie, I used to show dogs. At the dog shows there are trade booths that pass out free dog biscuits. Sometimes, if it was a local show, I would take the kids (about 6 or 7 years old at the time) and I would threaten them with their life if they ate any of them -- but they always did anyway. I would say "Open your mouth and let me smell your breath!" And sure enough -- dog biscuit breath! Oh well, they lived. Didn't notice they lost any weight though ;-)
beachplant
14 years ago
I knew a professor when I was in college. He routinely made "meatloaf" out of dog food. When people asked for the recipe he was happy to provide it. Purina dog chow was his preferred brand-high in protein, low in fat/salt. He was a nutritionist. Dog and cat food are made with the same sanitary rules as people food. Now, doesn't that make you feel better about our food supply?

Tally HO!