1. Birds of a feather flock together & poop on your car.

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it.

For example, isn't it nice that wrinkles don't hurt?

3. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

4. A penny saved is a government oversight.

5. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body & your fat are really good friends.

6. The easiest way to find something around the house is to buy a replacement for it.

7. He who hesitates is probably right.

8. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

9. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

10. Did you ever notice:
    
    When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together is spells "THEIRS "?
    

11. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

12. I'd rather be rich than stupid.