you think a chain saw is a musical instrument

you know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold

you've ever cleaned your house with a leaf blower

you empty the trash when you have enough to fill up the pickup

you can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose

you've been cited for reckless driving on a riding lawn mower

you move your weed-eater to take a bath.

You use old coolers as planters.

And the 4 runner holds 4 bags of fertilizer, 6 bags of potting soil, a few bags of mulch and a dozen plants.
Tally HO!

you know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold (Spectra can hold 7 bags of mulch in the trunk)

you can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose (who doesn't like water on a hot day?)

☺ Pam

You know four thousand ways to prepare zuchinni

You are constantly on the search for ways to gouge out the grunge from under your fingenails

You own more pairs of garden gloves than shoes (and your nails still have grunge)

Your husband tells everyone he has seen more of your bent over rear end than the rest of you ever since you planted all those pots of seeds last December

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra. (Back yard attire is quite relaxed around here!)

You have a dip net within reach at all times to swoop up bunnies and have learned to determine the perfect age for relocation--too young to reproduce, but old enough to thrive without Mama Rabbit

You are supposed to wear splints on your thumbs (wrists? knees?) due to repetitive motion injury--also known as weeding

You think one of the most significant and serious problems confronting the modern world today is Bermuda grass

i totally have more garden gloves than shoes!!!

what about:
* you use old bbq grills for planters
* you use an old kiddie pool for a raised bed frame
* you regularly drive slowly through your neighborhood on trash day looking for compost or gardening materials (like the two 1/2 pallets i swiped this afternoon)

last week, i got an idea for a bed edging (1/2 buried upside down wine bottles - they did it at green mama's and it looks pretty cool), but we don't drink wine - dh liked the idea until i suggested checking neighbors' recycle bins on saturday mornings

~ freshair

This actually happened this past weekend. I scored some plastic sprinkler pipe for strawberry pots, some flexible wire for ties, some wood for stakes, and a wire basket.

Hey!

you been follerin' me???

...you have more tires in your garden than on your car.

...you use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets.

...you go fishing more for the fertilizer than the fun.

...you think manure smells good.

I could care less about the car, but roses I can't get enough of.

Relatives are coming to see the new planters
this weekend.

And I spent more time at Epcot looking at the landscaping than going on any rides anywhere.

Thanks for the safety pin idea - now I can wear looser shirts! LOL

I've had a bathtub pond for over 18 years
And the old toliet is planted in the backyard
We regularly cruise the streets for bags of leaves and lawn debris.
I've had many bar-b-que planters.
Crock pot liners make great starter pots for water plants
Epcot has rides?
I have edged one of the paths with empty bottles-coke, pepsi, beer, wine, whatever I've scrounged from the beach.
We went to the beach after Ike, to gather stuff for the garden. It's amazing how many legs we found from furniture and I got a lot of new shoes for the wall of lost souls.
We both have more gloves than shoes. And why don't gardeners throw out old gloves?
Christmas is easy, new bonsai pots, some clippers, seeds, seed trays, mulch....
Tally HO!

I just turned an old crockpot liner into a planter. Drilled a hole and put in a variegated ornamental pepper I got for 50 cents from Lowe's clearance.

Click on photo to enlarge ...

We have a 16' trailer and a Ford F250 for driving around in the fall scrounging bags of leaves (okay, it's not really JUST for leaves).

you've ever cleaned your house with a leaf blower

Not a leaf blower, but a shop vac. We tore up all the carpet years ago and put down tile. When the dogs start shedding in spring and fall a broom just won't do :)

Love the gold plated swan fixtures! Maybe attach them to the side of a rain barrel or water feature.

I have it on good authority she blows her house out with a battery operated leaf blower too :-)

You mow your lawn and find a wheelbarrow

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra.
Thanks for the tip!!! LOL!

You use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets

I love this! My sister has decision-making issues and was all worried that coir would leak too much. I have to show her this! Bluejeans! Yes!

Okay, how about...

You can't park in the garage because there are rocks you dug out of the front garden all over the driveway... and buckets... and tools... and potted plants

That's lame. Never mind, I live in the city now.

and your BBQ pit looks like this:

You might be a redneck gardener if you think this is a great tip & Heloise oughtta print it!

...You hoard compost

...lights in your garden are not for the drama, but just so you can keep on gardening after the sun goes down

...Your knees stay dirty all weekend

...you'd rather build an outdoor shower than buy a new couch

...Your kids insist you keep a cell phone in your dungaree pocket so they can contact you outside business hours

...You've had a sign on your gate for six years that says, "free kittens" and you mean it

...your dogs understand commands like, "don't step on that," and "stay on the path," and "put that back in the bucket"

...when you can't actually be gardening, you like to think about gardening, and

...when you can't fall asleep at night, you get up and make lists of gardening chores you want to do tomorrow

Cheryl

LOL!! Too funny.....

Kelly

You might be a redneck if you go to the desert to see the new baby, and can't resist a stop at Elmer Long's Bottle Tree Ranch!!

(In the humble opinion a redneck gardener of course :-)

THANKS so much to everyone. Really enjoyed this. Somehow it seemed very funny but also heartwarming to me given all the other political and ideological and real wars going on today. There are still ways that those of us who may disagree in other ways and who feel very eccentric in this difficult world today can still relate to each other.

(If you do pass this info along, please be sure to include the link posted below so those who have made their wonderful contributions can all be given credit.)

================================
from: http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/txgard/msg0614025910662.html?37

You Might Be a Redneck Gardener If ...
(Does it mean you're a redneck gardener if you didn't even know these are redneck ideas?)

you mow your lawn and find a wheelbarrow

you think a chain saw is a musical instrument

you know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold

you've ever cleaned your house with a leaf blower or shop vac

you empty the trash when you have enough to fill up the pickup

you can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose

you've been cited for reckless driving on a riding lawn mower

you move your weed-eater to take a bath

You have more sinks outside than inside. And the outside ones have running water but the inside doesn't.

You use old coolers as planters.

You have designated shoes for the chicken pen

You know four thousand ways to prepare zuchinni

You are constantly on the search for ways to gouge out the grunge from under your fingenails

You own more pairs of garden gloves than shoes (and your nails still have grunge)

Your husband tells everyone he has seen more of your bent over rear end than the rest of you ever since you planted all those pots of seeds last December

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra.

You have a dip net within reach at all times to swoop up bunnies and have learned to determine the perfect age for relocation--too young to reproduce, but old enough to thrive without Mama Rabbit

You are supposed to wear splints on your thumbs (wrists? knees?) due to repetitive motion injury--also known as weeding

You think one of the most significant and serious problems confronting the modern world today is Bermuda grass

you use old bbq grills for planters

you use an old kiddie pool for a raised bed frame

you regularly drive slowly through your neighborhood on trash day looking for compost or gardening materials

you like the idea of 1/2 buried upside down wine bottles for bed edging

A plumbing mishap is not a disaster, but an opportunity to make that old toilet/bathtub into a planter.

For your birthday/anniversary/Christmas you want either plants or gardening equipment.

A truckload of composted manure for your birthday is a sure sign your significant other loves you truly.

The neighbor offers to let you go through his trash because he's tossing out some things "you might have a use for.

you covet your neighbor's roses instead of their Lexus

you bring guests out to see your shed instead of your new sofa

you go to Six Flags to be in the gardens instead of the rides

you have more tires in your garden than on your car.

you use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets.

you go fishing more for the fertilizer than the fun.

you think manure smells good.

One of your favorite quotes is "Gardening forever, housework whenever"

You can't park in the garage because there are rocks you dug out of the front garden all over the driveway... and buckets... and tools... and potted plants

your fingernails are never clean except when you wash your hair.

You raise chickens for the manure, fresh eggs are an afterthought

You hoard compost

lights in your garden are not for the drama, but just so you can keep on gardening after the sun goes down

Your knees stay dirty all weekend

you'd rather build an outdoor shower than buy a new couch

Your kids insist you keep a cell phone in your dungaree pocket so they can contact you outside business hours

You've had a sign on your gate for six years that says, "free kittens" and you mean it

your dogs understand commands like, "don't step on that," and "stay on the path," and "put that back in the bucket"

when you can't actually be gardening, you like to think about gardening,

when you can't fall asleep at night, you get up and make lists of gardening chores you want to do tomorrow

You do all your peeing on a compost pile.

i guess i had missed a couple - my husband growled at me just last night b/c he couldn't park on the driveway where i left my equipment before coming down with this throat infection - i'm currently working on pathways, bed edging, and raising the ground at the foundation, so the "equipment" is large

~ freshair

LOL

"new/newish" ones that you wear to work.

worn, maybe a little faded, that you don't wear to work any more but you can wear them in public without having people drop coins in your tin cup.

garden grunge that you can't wear off the property.

& the final state:
holes/rips/tears/lost buttons have rendered the garment too far gone to do anything but rip it up & toss it into the compost.

& that makes you happy!

as long as they won't get you arrested for public nudity or "wardrobe mishap"!

I have to sort garden grunge into two piles, "back yard only" and "front yard approved."

Don't forget you can use those final stage items to line your wire hanging baskets before putting them in the compost (thanks to Tally for one of my favorites)

You check on your plants and water in your pjs in the morning.

(Sorry Jo, I just had to say it...)

I thought, well, with all her troubles, maybe she's trying to reach out to another audience segment.

Then she took a big gulp of beer *directly out of the bottle*, & I thought "uh-oh, she's going too far. She'll alienate her old audience."

Then she said she was going to teach everyone how to make planters from tractor tires, & I went, "She's around the bend".

You might be a redneck gardener if you can't tell reality from Martha Stewart's April Fool joke!