This is so funnnnnnyyyyy

You have more sinks outside than inside. And the outside ones have running water but the inside doesn't.

You use old coolers as planters.

And the 4 runner holds 4 bags of fertilizer, 6 bags of potting soil, a few bags of mulch and a dozen plants.
Tally HO!

These 2 are me to a tee:

you know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold (Spectra can hold 7 bags of mulch in the trunk)

you can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose (who doesn't like water on a hot day?)

☺ Pam

You have designated shoes for the chicken pen

You know four thousand ways to prepare zuchinni

You are constantly on the search for ways to gouge out the grunge from under your fingenails

You own more pairs of garden gloves than shoes (and your nails still have grunge)

Your husband tells everyone he has seen more of your bent over rear end than the rest of you ever since you planted all those pots of seeds last December

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra. (Back yard attire is quite relaxed around here!)

You have a dip net within reach at all times to swoop up bunnies and have learned to determine the perfect age for relocation--too young to reproduce, but old enough to thrive without Mama Rabbit

You are supposed to wear splints on your thumbs (wrists? knees?) due to repetitive motion injury--also known as weeding

You think one of the most significant and serious problems confronting the modern world today is Bermuda grass

waa-haa-haa

i totally have more garden gloves than shoes!!!

what about:
* you use old bbq grills for planters
* you use an old kiddie pool for a raised bed frame
* you regularly drive slowly through your neighborhood on trash day looking for compost or gardening materials (like the two 1/2 pallets i swiped this afternoon)

last week, i got an idea for a bed edging (1/2 buried upside down wine bottles - they did it at green mama's and it looks pretty cool), but we don't drink wine - dh liked the idea until i suggested checking neighbors' recycle bins on saturday mornings

~ freshair

A plumbing mishap is not a disaster, but an opportunity to make that old toilet/bathtub into a planter.
When your neighbor looks at your yard and says, "That's a lot of work" you know you are gardening in a no-garden zone.
For your birthday/anniversary/Christmas you want either plants or gardening equipment. A truckload of composted manure is a sure sign your significant other loves you truly.

The neighbor offers to let you go through his trash because he's tossing out some things "you might have a use for."

This actually happened this past weekend. I scored some plastic sprinkler pipe for strawberry pots, some flexible wire for ties, some wood for stakes, and a wire basket.

or you wade through the high grass to peek through the fence to see if Debby forgot her safety pin and kick that Wusthof knife you borrowed from the kitchen to cut that old radiator hose off the car last winter. and throw it over the fence.

you covet your neighbor's roses instead of their Lexus
you bring guests out to see your shed instead of your new sofa
you go to Six Flags to be in the gardens instead of the rides

"you regularly drive slowly through your neighborhood on trash day looking for compost or gardening materials"

Hey!

you been follerin' me???

...you use bathroom fixtures as planters (let's not restrict it to just toilets - anyone else have a bathtub pond? ;).

...you have more tires in your garden than on your car.

...you use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets.

...you go fishing more for the fertilizer than the fun.

...you think manure smells good.

Marti nailed it for me!

I could care less about the car, but roses I can't get enough of.

Relatives are coming to see the new planters
this weekend.

And I spent more time at Epcot looking at the landscaping than going on any rides anywhere.

Thanks for the safety pin idea - now I can wear looser shirts! LOL

Are rednecks limited to residence in the southern states? My Mother-in-Law lives in northeast Iowa. I spent DAYS pulling their version of bermuda grass (bunch grass?) from the flower beds on our last visit. Her latest planter is in a barbeque pit she never learned how to use during the 3 weeks of Iowa summer. She actually has pansies planted in the greasy thing and keeps the lid shut so they just get light through the smoked over window in the lid. Of course she still has the same dark green soap on a rope hanging in the shower that was there when I visited for the first time with my husband 24 years ago!!! And it was OLD and cracked then. Every time we go visit I always wonder if the soap on a rope will still be there. Does it qualify as an antique yet?! Debby

HAHAHAHA, OMG, Debby, rednecks are all over the world, lol
Not quite like the south maybe, lol
Your MIL sounds like a hoot
As far as the rest of y'all there are plenty that fit all of us

OH lord, I'm a redneck. And I live with another one.
I know how many bags of mulch, manure, potting soil, etc. fit in every vehicle we own.

I've had a bathtub pond for over 18 years
And the old toliet is planted in the backyard
We regularly cruise the streets for bags of leaves and lawn debris.
I've had many bar-b-que planters.
Crock pot liners make great starter pots for water plants
Epcot has rides?
I have edged one of the paths with empty bottles-coke, pepsi, beer, wine, whatever I've scrounged from the beach.
We went to the beach after Ike, to gather stuff for the garden. It's amazing how many legs we found from furniture and I got a lot of new shoes for the wall of lost souls.
We both have more gloves than shoes. And why don't gardeners throw out old gloves?
Christmas is easy, new bonsai pots, some clippers, seeds, seed trays, mulch....
Tally HO!

These are great ideas, keep them coming. Does it mean you're a redneck gardener if you didn't even know these are redneck ideas. Love the old jeans for basket liners.

I just turned an old crockpot liner into a planter. Drilled a hole and put in a variegated ornamental pepper I got for 50 cents from Lowe's clearance.

You ask for a riding lawn mower and your hubby gets you this:

Click on photo to enlarge ...

wow - i feel as if we're old friends now - y'all are my kind of people
~ freshair

Roselee, I hope you assign all mowing duties to your husband since he thinks that contraption is a riding mower!! I'm ready for a riding weeder that does bermuda grass. Debby

Can't wait til the neighbors see my mom's old carpet trying to stamp out bermuda in the backyard.

I'm guilty on most counts :) DH is a master plumber and has asked me several times if I want to do the toilet planter thing and I just have to say no. On the other hand, we do have a ton of sinks and fixtures that he's saved. Some are really gorgeous hand painted porcelain, but I can't see covering that up with dirt and plants. Maybe bird baths or fountains. He's also kept some really gawdy gold plated swan fixtures that I haven't decided what to do with.

We have a 16' trailer and a Ford F250 for driving around in the fall scrounging bags of leaves (okay, it's not really JUST for leaves).

you've ever cleaned your house with a leaf blower

Not a leaf blower, but a shop vac. We tore up all the carpet years ago and put down tile. When the dogs start shedding in spring and fall a broom just won't do :)

right now there is some of the roofing material thrown down by the firemen trying to kill off bermuda. It's working pretty good and makes a nice pathway. :)
Tally HO!

Epcot does have a few rides - my favorite is called Soaring. It's a type of virtual ride where you feel like you're hang gliding over the ocean, vineyards, mountains, etc. They even spray a scent at you to match where you are (pine for the forest, etc.) Wonderful -I rode it 3 times :).

Love the gold plated swan fixtures! Maybe attach them to the side of a rain barrel or water feature.

I think a Redneck Gardener lives here:

I have it on good authority she blows her house out with a battery operated leaf blower too :-)

after a day of yard work you close the garage door and get undressed before you go in the house. That happens quite often around here. :)

Oh, I really like that sign and it looks like a really cool wreath around it.
Thanks Roselee

Oh this was good! I laughed at:

You mow your lawn and find a wheelbarrow

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra.
Thanks for the tip!!! LOL!

You use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets

I love this! My sister has decision-making issues and was all worried that coir would leak too much. I have to show her this! Bluejeans! Yes!

Okay, how about...

You can't park in the garage because there are rocks you dug out of the front garden all over the driveway... and buckets... and tools... and potted plants

That's lame. Never mind, I live in the city now.

Or one I borrowed from someone who posted last season: your fingernails are never clean except when you wash your hair.

You might be a redneck gardener if:
Your riding mower looks like this:

and your BBQ pit looks like this:

"after a day of yard work you close the garage door and get undressed before you go in the house."

You might be a redneck gardener if you think this is a great tip & Heloise oughtta print it!

...You raise chickens for the manure, fresh eggs are an afterthought

...You hoard compost

...lights in your garden are not for the drama, but just so you can keep on gardening after the sun goes down

...Your knees stay dirty all weekend

...you'd rather build an outdoor shower than buy a new couch

...Your kids insist you keep a cell phone in your dungaree pocket so they can contact you outside business hours

...You've had a sign on your gate for six years that says, "free kittens" and you mean it

...your dogs understand commands like, "don't step on that," and "stay on the path," and "put that back in the bucket"

...when you can't actually be gardening, you like to think about gardening, and

...when you can't fall asleep at night, you get up and make lists of gardening chores you want to do tomorrow

Cheryl

"...Your knees stay dirty all weekend"

LOL!! Too funny.....

Kelly

LOL!!! Weighing in from Southern California and the Garden Junk Forum here on GW.

You might be a redneck if you go to the desert to see the new baby, and can't resist a stop at Elmer Long's Bottle Tree Ranch!!

{{gwi:158685}}

Here is a link that might be useful: Link to More Photos

Now that's taking the making bottle trees to the realm of high art!

(In the humble opinion a redneck gardener of course :-)

Lord 'a' Mercy, them is some fine pieces of art!

Lordamercy, I got so many good ideas from this posting! Thank y'all. Now,I'm going to go out into the yard, find my wheelbarrow, get my knees dirty and then go shut the garage door. I love being a redneck gardener!

You do all your peeing on a compost pile.

Thought I would edit these posts into a more concise list. I removed comments about personal experiences and also the pictures. ( I removed one I couldn't understand.)
Thought pictures were great but I wanted to leave this as text, I like to keep things simple. I'm sure we will have more postings but thought I would stop for now.

THANKS so much to everyone. Really enjoyed this. Somehow it seemed very funny but also heartwarming to me given all the other political and ideological and real wars going on today. There are still ways that those of us who may disagree in other ways and who feel very eccentric in this difficult world today can still relate to each other.

(If you do pass this info along, please be sure to include the link posted below so those who have made their wonderful contributions can all be given credit.)

================================
from: http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/txgard/msg0614025910662.html?37

You Might Be a Redneck Gardener If ...
(Does it mean you're a redneck gardener if you didn't even know these are redneck ideas?)

you mow your lawn and find a wheelbarrow

you think a chain saw is a musical instrument

you know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold

you've ever cleaned your house with a leaf blower or shop vac

you empty the trash when you have enough to fill up the pickup

you can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose

you've been cited for reckless driving on a riding lawn mower

you move your weed-eater to take a bath

You have more sinks outside than inside. And the outside ones have running water but the inside doesn't.

You use old coolers as planters.

You have designated shoes for the chicken pen

You know four thousand ways to prepare zuchinni

You are constantly on the search for ways to gouge out the grunge from under your fingenails

You own more pairs of garden gloves than shoes (and your nails still have grunge)

Your husband tells everyone he has seen more of your bent over rear end than the rest of you ever since you planted all those pots of seeds last December

You have learned to safety pin the back of your shirt to the back of your shorts in order to avoid that embarrassing weeding shirt droop which reveals the fact that you are not wearing a bra.

You have a dip net within reach at all times to swoop up bunnies and have learned to determine the perfect age for relocation--too young to reproduce, but old enough to thrive without Mama Rabbit

You are supposed to wear splints on your thumbs (wrists? knees?) due to repetitive motion injury--also known as weeding

You think one of the most significant and serious problems confronting the modern world today is Bermuda grass

you use old bbq grills for planters

you use an old kiddie pool for a raised bed frame

you regularly drive slowly through your neighborhood on trash day looking for compost or gardening materials

you like the idea of 1/2 buried upside down wine bottles for bed edging

A plumbing mishap is not a disaster, but an opportunity to make that old toilet/bathtub into a planter.

For your birthday/anniversary/Christmas you want either plants or gardening equipment.

A truckload of composted manure for your birthday is a sure sign your significant other loves you truly.

The neighbor offers to let you go through his trash because he's tossing out some things "you might have a use for.

you covet your neighbor's roses instead of their Lexus

you bring guests out to see your shed instead of your new sofa

you go to Six Flags to be in the gardens instead of the rides

you have more tires in your garden than on your car.

you use blue jeans instead of coir in your wire hanging baskets.

you go fishing more for the fertilizer than the fun.

you think manure smells good.

One of your favorite quotes is "Gardening forever, housework whenever"

You can't park in the garage because there are rocks you dug out of the front garden all over the driveway... and buckets... and tools... and potted plants

your fingernails are never clean except when you wash your hair.

You raise chickens for the manure, fresh eggs are an afterthought

You hoard compost

lights in your garden are not for the drama, but just so you can keep on gardening after the sun goes down

Your knees stay dirty all weekend

you'd rather build an outdoor shower than buy a new couch

Your kids insist you keep a cell phone in your dungaree pocket so they can contact you outside business hours

You've had a sign on your gate for six years that says, "free kittens" and you mean it

your dogs understand commands like, "don't step on that," and "stay on the path," and "put that back in the bucket"

when you can't actually be gardening, you like to think about gardening,

when you can't fall asleep at night, you get up and make lists of gardening chores you want to do tomorrow

You do all your peeing on a compost pile.

beautiful!

this is all painfully funny

i guess i had missed a couple - my husband growled at me just last night b/c he couldn't park on the driveway where i left my equipment before coming down with this throat infection - i'm currently working on pathways, bed edging, and raising the ground at the foundation, so the "equipment" is large

~ freshair

Or you pee on the angel trumpets because they like ammonia.
There are some good tips here!
You turn the hackberry tree felled by Ike into a bench, complete with Ike carved on the trunk with a chain saw. Can't be a redneck without a chainsaw. We have 3. And we live in town.
You have a wall of lost soles-shoes beachcombed and nailed to the fence.
Tally HO!

bringing this back before it drops off into the twilight zone.

You might be a redneck gardener if you say to the paramedics who want to see the exact place where you hurt yourself with your chainsaw, "This is the exact spot; I can tell because I bled all over the place, but it's okay; it fertilized the soil."

If you make your own 'topsy turvy' planters by sawing holes in plastic hanging baskets.

I re-read this thing and laughed my butt off. You don't think you're a redneck till you realize you do most if not all of this!
Tally HO!

ooh ooh ooh!

My neighbor must be a redneck gardener!

Last summer, she put brackets on the soffit of her garage & hung a rod across, & suspended "topsy turvy" planters made out of kitty litter buckets from the rod;
she grew beautiful tomatoes all summer!

How about this one - you turn an old hot tub into a frog pond
And dont forget about the decorated bowling balls all over the yard

My place came with a bathtub in the yard. But it had been for bathing their dogs, not gardening. During all the years they lived here the only plant they put in was a single oleander. We did find all the hundreds of thousands of dog fleas they somehow managed to leave behind. For a while, we had to run from the deck steps to the car, then check to see how many fleas were on our legs. Now, obviously, they didn't have chickens to eat all those fleas. I did get rid of the bathtub...just couldn't see taking care of a pond. I know a guy who plants in old coolers! That's what they call recycling, BTW.

Oh my God, this is hilarious! I never would of thought it but I guess I am a redneck!!!! I didn't know it was common to have more gardening gloves than shoes...My mom was laughing at me for getting so excited when the delivery truck came with my 6 yards of compost: she said based on my reaction, she would have thought they were delivering a new car! And I know exactly how many bags of mulch and landscape mix fit in my husband explorer and how many bags of Turface will tip my Crossfire!!!!I'm not alone - I've found my people!

Yep. I have a 2 car garage thats never had a car parked in it before because of all the spare pots, soil fertilizer etc. and to make sure there is room for the tropical plants in the winter, lol.

What a great post! We do have a turn around driveway, but we can't use it because I have 2 large projects going on for a week now. It is filled with buckets of dirt and mulch, pots of coleus and gardenias waiting til I turn under the compost to finish making a bed for them. Wish I could stick with one task and finish it- I always quit for some dumb reason- it's too dark to see, it's too hot out, 105*, it's 9:00 and I haven't made dinner yet. Now where'd I leave that rake? And my shovel? and forget my pruners and hand trowel, they're too small to see. I asked hubby to spray paint the handles orange so I can find them better. I never thought of myself as a redneck, but I sure am!
kasha77