Cover the mirror and pull the wipers up from the well.

I agree with elly that covering the mirror is the thing to do(a washcloth you can grab off when you go out?)

As for the windshield, if putting the wipers up doesn't work, how about putting one of those accordion-style cardboard dashboard protectors (that keep it cool in hot weather) in your car, the kind with big eyes maybe?
It might confuse him and/or scare him, and block his view of himself so he isn't rewarded for standing there.

Just an idea; good luck!

Never thought of the cloth idea...certainly much quicker to remove than my wrapped plastic bag! Lift the wipers or use those cardboard things??? BRILLIANT thoughts!! I'm at my wit's end with this beautiful bird! But it's game on tomorrow, fella! Thank you both so much!!