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OT Off to California

Posted by Ament 5a SD (My Page) on
Fri, Nov 4, 11 at 16:13

Oy! What a last few days it's been!

I'm off to California tomorrow. My mother has been diagnosed with small cell cancer.

I will be gone for two weeks, I'm bringing my mother home with me for treatment. =D She wants to live here with me while she goes through treatment. She said her two week visit here with us was so happy that she needs to be HERE instead of at her own home so she can deal with this.

I cannot express just how happy hearing that made me. So, I will make the trip to bring my mom home. Then we will make this journey together. Where ever it takes us. I know it will be a long road ahead, a tough one, but we will make this trip together. =) And that means so much to me, having her here with me.

So now I'll be so busy it'll be hectic as all get out, but I will make the effort to return here, as often as I can. I know I will require -me- time. So I will devote time to my hobbies as well as my mom. It'll just be less time here on the message boards. =) But I'll pop in whenever I can.

I just didn't want to be here, then poof! Gone for awhile. Figured I'd pop in, let you guys & gals know what's up.

Bright Blessings!
~Tina


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

We will miss you.

You and your mom will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Keep in touch and let us know how its going.

Dave


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RE: OT Off to California

My prayers are with you and your mom. Have a pleasant jouney.

tj


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RE: OT Off to California

Thank you both so very much. =) I appreciate it and I -will- keep in touch.
I enjoy being here and learning from all of you! <3

~Tina


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RE: OT Off to California

Good luck to you both


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RE: OT Off to California

i went through that last week and lost my mother,my prayers are with you both.
god bless
bruce


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RE: OT Off to California

I couldn't think of anyone (sweeter) to take care of their mom.
God bless you Bruce and you Tina.

Dax


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RE: OT Off to California

  • Posted by whaas 5a SE WI (My Page) on
    Fri, Nov 4, 11 at 21:59

My mother in law is going through chemo right now and it can be quite stressful but at the end of the day we all triumph.


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RE: OT Off to California

  • Posted by botann z8 SEof Seattle (My Page) on
    Sat, Nov 5, 11 at 5:00

My thoughts are with you and your mother.
Enjoy your trip as much as you can.
Keep us posted as time permits.
Mike


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RE: OT Off to California

Ok, I am back from California.
Not a good trip at all.

Sad news, Small cell cancer. My mother did not survive. She passed on November 17th. At 1:05 AM. It has been a rough road for me.

Dec. 9th or somewhere around there, my mothers ashes arrive, so that when my sister arrives, she and I can go into the Black Hills and spread my mothers ashes. My mothers last wishes were to have this done. Any idea how hard it is to sit there and tell your mother good bye, to tell her it is Okay, that she can die and we will be Okay? Good gods, even typing this out to share with you, my friends, is painful. However, it is also cathartic to do so. And so, I do it. Knowing I need to do it. Otherwise, it will eat at me.

So now I ask you to share my pain, my burden of loss. Knowing it will help me, just a little bit. To overcome that hurt, that absolute total complete loss of the one person that meant the whole world to me... My Mother.

~With a Major hole in my heart and soul,
Tina Marie


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

Sad news indeed.

I am certainly sorry to hear about your mother.

It will take time to move on but you can be assured your mother will not have to suffer anymore.

Plant a special conifer in your garden in her honor.

Happiness grows on trees.

Best regards,

Dave


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

I am so sorry for your loss and what you must have been through the last few weeks. It doesn't matter how old you are, you are never ready to say goodbye to Mom or Dad.

I know you were a great comfort to your mother and she appreciated you being there. Take the time you need to grieve in whatever way you need to. Sometime grief is lessened by sharing it, so cyber-plunk some on me. I have broad shoulders!

Bruce, my condolences to you as well. This is a hard time of year to lose people.

Whaas, sorry about your MIL and I hope she's fighting!

Barb


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

Also my thoughts are with you, I lost my father and the landscape was without a mountain.

You brought your mother home for treatment but it was to stay. As Dave said so well, she's safe from harm.

Wishes for all your family.


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RE: OT Off to California

Thank you all of you, so very much!

It's been so difficult. I'm trying very hard not to bawl at the drop of a hat. LoL Drat it anyway but today has been the worst for me. =(

I know it will take time to deal with the loss. I'm at peace with the fact that she's gone. Because she was in such terrible pain. I had the hardest time dealing with that. The pain she was in was so horrible! So for that, I am grateful!

She didn't get to come home with me yet. Which was terribly upsetting for me. She was far too sick by the time I was brought out there. =( However, in a round about way, she will be coming home. LoL Some may not handle this the same way I have. But around Dec. 9th, my mothers ashes will arrive here at my home. Some time in April, my sister should be arriving here in the Black Hills. When my sister comes, she and I are to take mom out into the hills and spread her ashes. That was her wish. So that is what we will do.

Dave, can you help me? I'm at a loss. My mom wasn't a fighter per say. Not with people. But she was a beautiful loving person. She loved to make others smile. Loved to produce beautiful things, gift them to people. She was a gentle soul, to the end. A fighting soul, wanted to live and fought to the very end. She stayed out of the hospital until the last 24 hrs of her life. She had Cancer in 80% of her body Dave. Yet she was insistent on coming home with me to the Black Hills, My home, which she considered her home. I don't want a boring conifer for her. Something that will stop people in their tracks, something that isn't too difficult to care for.

One of the last things she and I did was collect conifer seeds, I have them and am not certain how to grow them. But the memory is very treasured! She giggled like a child while I pushed her around the parking lot collecting the seeds that had fallen on the ground after her Dr. appointment. =)

~Tina


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

I will give it some thought for something that will stop people in their tracks. You are in Zone 5a. What is the lowest average temperatures you can expect for your area in Winter? Any special color? We will see...

I would want others to add their thoughts about what conifer they think would be special in honor of your Mother. Let's get everyone evolved.

Dave


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RE: OT Off to California

Dave,

Anyone would be welcome to suggest whatever they think would be apropos. I attached a link to info for my regional areas growing area. Varied, big time. LoL I'm in the area on the map where it says Rapid City. Actually... I'm about 18 miles NW of Rapid City.

So Please, everyone, Involve yourselves. I need help with this! =)

~Tina

Here is a link that might be useful: Regional Information


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RE: OT Off to California

I'll introduce this one for starters.

Picea engelmannii 'Bushes Lace'

It should do well in 5a SD. It would be nice to know more about your micro-climate as your region description covers a vast area with to many variables. This conifer does not do well in dry growing conditions. If you have ample rain fall during the growing season then you should consider it.

Here's a photo of mine 4-5 years old. I have provided a link to Buchholz. A nicely shaped older one.

Dave

Picea  engelmannii 'Bushes Lace', 5-14-2011

Here is a link that might be useful: Picea engelmannii 'Bush's Lace'


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RE: OT Off to California

"One of the last things she and I did was collect conifer seeds, I have them and am not certain how to grow them. But the memory is very treasured! She giggled like a child while I pushed her around the parking lot collecting the seeds that had fallen on the ground after her Dr. appointment"

Unfortunately, trees from California won't be hardy in SD. But why not collect some more seed from where you go in the Black Hills?

To grow conifer seeds, first put them in damp (not dripping wet!) sand in a bag in fridge over the winter, then sow them in spring, in pots indoors in March to give them a headstart. Then plant them outside when the risk of frost is over.

Resin


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina, you're a sweet lady, we're all in this with you.

Bush's Lace is an ideal candidate, or, I will fetch a graft of Picea pungens 'MPH Mamut Torony' for you.

You just let me know if that's what you want :)

Dax

Here is a link that might be useful: Google: Picea pungens 'MPH Mamut Torony'


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

My most sincere sympathies for the loss of your Mother. I lost my own dear Mother 26 years ago, and I still miss her every day. I hope you will be comforted by many lovely memories.

As a suggestion, rather than plant just one special conifer as a memorial to your Mother, you might also think about a Memorial Garden. If your space permits, you can plan and design a special area in your garden dedicated to your Mother, incorporating as many special plants in the area as you like. Create a peaceful space with a bench where you can sit with your thoughts, surrounded by special plants and perhaps garden objects that belonged to your Mother. Incorporate plants that your Mother enjoyed or that remind you of her. Add an engraved plaque with your Mother's name or a favorite verse. Plant names are another thing you might think about. (My Mother's name was June, and I have Hosta 'June' planted all over my garden.) What is your Mother's name? Perhaps there is a magnolia or dogwood, for example, that shares her name. Maybe you could even get some of the conifer seeds you and your Mother collected to grow there. The time you spend planning and creating the garden will heal your soul.

Gardens are special places to escape and lose yourself in your thoughts. I hope you will find a special place in your own garden where you are surrounded by beautiful memories of your Mother.

Kim


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RE: OT Off to California

Dave check the link. Possibility?

Here is a link that might be useful: Sequoia, Sequoiadendron and Metasequoia gallery


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina

My thoughts are with you


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RE: OT Off to California

Oy! Yesterday was a tough tough day, today appears to be yet another...

I am so glad I have you guys to help drag me through the days.

Ok, First, Kim.

My mothers name is Janet. I DO want to do a garden for her. However, we will only be on this property for another 8 yrs, then we will be moving. So, after we move, I will do a garden for her. On this property, I am going to plant loads of flowers that will reseed themselves, with a plaque that was my mothers. She had a small poodle that was her favorite little pal. Sparky. I have that plaque. It will be placed in the flower bed. =) This little memorial garden will have to do for the 8 yrs I am to remain on this property. But I am going to do a bigger one, on the farm which is going to be HUGE. I've not planned it yet. I'll come to all of you for help on that one. =)

Dax,

That tree is absolutely Lovely, truly it is. However, I fear for the water situation. We go through some terribly dry times out here. Right now it isn't so bad, last spring was real green. It was so beautiful out here. Next spring might be the same. We were TOO wet to till and plant, my garden got planted too late in the season due to being too wet to till for too long. =)

You know I am so drawn to blues, it's crazy. LoL I don't know why, I haven't figured out why. I don't think I will ever know the why of that. But I do love them. =) I'm going to guess this one will do very well in the conditions out here?

Resin,

I knew the seeds I picked up wouldn't do well here. But I figured for those of you who do grow them I would collect a cone and a bunch of seeds. =) See... I was thinking of You guys while I was out there. Even though I couldn't grow this lovely conifer, I wanted to get the seeds for those of you who can! LoL And I did have a photo... However, I don't know if I will be able to share it! Haha! My great dane got ahold of my pantech breakout and gnawed the heck out of it! So now I've no cell phone, where the photo is! Ugh! Dratted dog!

When it rains, it pours! *chuckles* Well, I do have a cone and I do have a palmfull of seeds. =) Sooo, for those handful of conifer growers, send me an email, I'll dole out some of the seeds.

Dax, if you send one of those trees, I'll send you this cone and a few seeds with it. I'm certain it has seeds in it. =) We all know you're quite handy at getting things to grow.

Much love to you all, you're all helping me through this and I appreciate that so very much!

~Tina


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RE: OT Off to California

  • Posted by whaas 5a SE WI (My Page) on
    Wed, Nov 30, 11 at 13:15

Tina, I'm sorry for your loss. But don't forget to count your blessings. She lives on within you and your daughter...that is a memorial in itself.


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your memories remain bright and eventually the pain will grow dull. It is never easy losing a loved one. I think it is a splendid idea growing on a unique conifer for your mother. Good luck in your selection.


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It is good to know you were able to visit with your mother before she passed on.

I like Kim's idea of a garden, maybe a collection of mini conifers that you can move easily to the new farm.

If your climate is dry like ours here, supplemental watering is helpful to keep the trees healthy through times of drought. Even established trees benefit from it.

Nate


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RE: OT Off to California

I'll grow a MPH Mamut Torony for you until you move and then you can have it on your farm.

I have way to many seeds Tina~ just as they wouldn't be hardy species for you, neither would they be for me. Possibly you will keep them in a special place for your memories.

Take care,

Dax


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RE: OT Off to California

Thank you everyone! =)

Dax I had thought you might like to try, was worth a shot anyways. lol No biggie, Maybe there are others on here who will want them. "I'll grow a MPH Mamut Torony for you until you move and then you can have it on your farm." I can plant it on the farm any time. Roy lives there and cares for fruit trees and other trees he planted but I wouldn't be there to care for it, so this would be best for it, having you keep it until I can enjoy it. =) Thank you so very much Dax. You are very sweet to do this for me.

I do need to snap a photo of the cone and seeds. DH is going to take my gnawed phone in today and get it replaced. He's also going to get the photos and such uploaded to the new phone. So I am hoping to be able to share the image of the conifer the seeds came from.

Blue yew, Severnside or Resin, Do you guys want the seeds maybe? It's a gorgeous conifer. Don't answer yet, but the growing conditions were from Travis AFB CA. Just so you have an idea. I can't think off the top of my head where any of you are from, but just from scrolling up, your zones are much higher than mine or anyone elses. lol

Nate,

I am going to plant a small flower garden here at the house. I also am asking for a beautiful wind chime for Christmas, as well as a sundial. I've got my mothers plaque for her dog Sparky who passed away several yrs ago that will also go in the flower garden. Here's links to the wind chimes, for a taste of the sounds, click the audio.

http://www.windchime.com/wind-chimes/aluminum-wind-chimes/gracenotechimesearthsong62inwindchime.cfm

http://www.windchime.com/wind-chimes/aluminum-wind-chimes/gracenotechimesearthsong54inwindchime.cfm

http://www.windchime.com/wind-chimes/aluminum-wind-chimes/gracenotechimesearthsong42inwindchime.cfm

Those were the top three choice in wind chimes. The sundial is a sun & moon one. With a base that is curved with leaves adorning it, it stands in the flower bed, instead of out in the center of the yard. I've enough flower seeds to cover two sides of my 1/4th of an acre yard. I plan to build a bed that runs on the Southern fence and runs the whole fence three feet out from the fence which will meet up with the southern end of the property and run the southern wall of the property three feet out.

Two shoe boxes worth of seeds... =)

~Tina


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RE: OT Off to California

Nice, the garden bed sounds like a good idea. I like the wind chimes too.


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RE: OT Off to California

Tina what seeds are they yes I would love some.


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